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Funny quotes from the New Three Kingdoms

1. Dong Zhuo: Invite all the officials to a banquet.

2. Liu Bei: Yuan Shao is an Adou who cannot be helped.

3. Guan Yu: Brother, still haven’t seen you?

4. Cao Cao: Sima Zhao’s heart is known to everyone on the road.

5. Yuan Shao said: Xu You insulted me by fighting with twenty army sticks.

6. Cao Cao: Who is willing to serve as this pioneer officer?

7. Dong Zhuo said to his son-in-law Li Ru: Brother Li

8. Diao Chan: I want to return it to God

9. Cao Cao: This I forgot, hurry up! Rumor has it that Pound is back.

10. Cao Cao: Yeah. Now I am God, bring it.

11. Cheng Yu: Your Majesty, the Prime Minister asked your Majesty to grant permission for hunting.

12. Guan Yu: The general has excellent marksmanship and good luck.

13. King Wei! At the end of the day, please be the vanguard. I swear to capture Guan Yu and offer him to my subordinates!

14. Lu Bu: My Diao Chan is the first of the four beauties in ancient China!

15. Cao Cao: I was wrong about what happened just now, and I apologize to you.

16. Zhang Fei: The slaves of the three surnames must not be so arrogant. The eunuch Zhang Fei is here!

17. Dong Zhuo: Luoyang is so luxurious, I can’t even miss Shu here.

18. Pound: If the King of Wei takes my military seal, I will kill him here today!

19. Sun Ce, I have been chasing you since Lujiang City, and I have chased you for eight hundred miles!

20. Zhuge Liang opened the thatched cottage: Say Cao Cao, Cao Cao is here, haha, Liu Bei is here.

21. Cao Cao pursued Dong Zhuo and was defeated. Yuan Shao said: Mengde, your teacher has returned to the court.

22. Liu Bei: As a brother, follow me in the battle. Fight until the last moment and commit suicide!

23. A servant of Wang Yun’s family: Master, Lu Bu is here to give Miss Diao Chan a birthday gift.

24. Zhang Fei: Lu Bu, you lost your virginity to a thief! (Lü Buza did it, haha.)

25. Boy: My husband knew that distinguished guests would be visiting in the near future, so he went on a long trip.

26. Gong Jin: It’s just that I can no longer see Soochow’s military flag planted on the top of Jingzhou City!

27. 9-year-old Sun Quan: I went there in person, wouldn’t he be surprised? Isn't he moved?

28. Guan Yu: Yes, yes, the truth of the whole world lies in your eight-foot-long snake spear.

29. Guan Yu: Brother, if Kong Ming has eight brothers, will you come eight times?

30. Xu You: A bunch of foodies! Damn it! Are you here to fight or to flirt?

31. After Cao Cao found out that he had killed the wrong person, he said: They didn’t want to kill us, they wanted to kill pigs.

32. Yu Jin: I will finally obey my orders! Please ask the King of Wei to send another general as the vanguard to accompany me to fight against Guan Yu.

33. Zhang Fei: I, Zhang Yide, am the most reasonable person, second brother, don’t you think so?

34. Cao Cao: It seems that Hanzhong suffered a few small defeats, and everyone is unwilling to fight! All scared! Yeah?

35. Cao Cao: Go to the supervisor and get 30 military sticks. That's all, let it go. Xu Chu: No, it’s inevitable.

36. Cao Cao: I want to go to Liu Bei personally. Haven't you heard the story of visiting the thatched cottage three times? Be sincere.

37. Prime Minister: Lord! Yongliang can be pacified, the Central Plains can be pacified, and the Han Dynasty can be revived!

38. Liu Bei: Although I didn’t see Mr. Kong Ming, I saw his brother after all, so I didn’t have time to run away.

39. Yuan Shao said: Tian Feng, you have repeatedly insulted me, and I have endured it again and again. Today I can't bear it no matter what.

40. Cao Cao: Why don’t you think about it the other way around? If you kill Guan Yu, wouldn't you become a powerful person in the world?

41. Dong Zhuo: It’s good to change clothes, it’s good to change clothes. It’s a pity to leave Diao Chan at home. Besides, the emperor can’t wait any longer.

42. After Liu Bei heard about Cao Cao’s murder in his dream, he said: It turns out that the prime minister was not in the dream, but the world was in the dream.

43. Yuan Shao said: Tian Feng is insulting me again. He wrote a letter asking me to cease the war. I finally understood why Tian Feng was given death.

44. Yu Jin: Report to the King of Wei, since the Battle of Xiliang, the last general has been ordered to camp in the fields and fight in battle for a long time. I'm just afraid that I will miss the important event of King Wei.

45. Lu Bu: I have a square halberd that can break gold and stone! I have a red rabbit and horse, and I can walk across rivers, lakes and ponds as if I were walking on flat ground! Why should I be afraid of Cao Cao?

46. Cao Cao: You know, Yuan Shu has become emperor! It almost made me laugh to death! Why! I misjudged Yuan Shu, and this is my fault.

47. Liu Bei: General of Han Zuo, Marquis of Ting of Yicheng, leader of Yuzhou Shepherd, Imperial Uncle Liu Keguan, your name is too long, I can’t remember it.

48. Wang Yun: This is the little girl Diao Chan. Dong Zhuo: You are really the beauty hidden in the golden house! (Haha. What is the relationship between Diao Chan and Wang Yun?)

49. Chen Gong: There is a thousand gold reward on your head, but my head is only fifty gold. Cao Cao: My head is too expensive, and yours is too cheap. Sorry.

50. Yu Jin: Those were all given by the Prime Minister in front of the formation. But this time, Guan Yu became a famous warrior and shocked the world. The general is worried that he will not be able to defeat him.

51. Wang Yun: If you want to capture an animal, you must first devote yourself to the animal! Diao Chan: What is the difference between what my adoptive father does and what an animal does? Wang Yun: I beg you.

52. Cao Cao: What are you talking about! When a general only knows how to farm, can he still be called a general? Haven't you fought many bad battles in the past? Have you accomplished many feats?

53. Chen Gong: Meng De! We have sinned! They didn’t kill us, they killed pigs! Cao Cao: If you want to kill, just kill. Why hesitate and make yourself miserable.

54. Cao Cao: Yu Jin, all the generals have just returned from Hanzhong, and each has his or her own injuries. You are my general who has not been in battle for many years. How about you go to this battle?

55. Pang De: Then Guan Yu is a human being, and I am a human being too! Then Guan Yu has a sword, and I also have a sword! What should I fear? Why doesn't King Wei ask Guan Yu if he's afraid of me?

56. Cao Cao: There are 80,000 elite troops stationed in Xuzhou. There are 80,000! Even if you have 80,000 steamed buns, Liu Bei would have to chew them for half a month. How could he just throw them away? .

57. Cheng Yu: The first time the Prime Minister laughed, he attracted Zhao Yun; the second time he laughed, he attracted Zhang Fei and almost killed us! I beg you, Prime Minister, please stop laughing!

58. Liu Bei: I am one of the Five Tiger Generals. Three people have died so far, each at the hands of Sun Quan. I swear to dig up the graves of three generations of the Sun family. It is said that the three armies obeyed the order and attacked Yiling.

59. Xu You: In fact, you, Cao Mengde, are not that scary at all, but it is precisely the fear of you in the hearts of those mediocre people that not only fuels but also makes you strong.

60. At Wang Yun’s birthday banquet, Cao Cao looked at the ministers who were in pain and said: All the men in the room are acting like daughters. You just cry from dusk to dawn. You can make Dong Zhuo cry to death!

61. Cao Cao: Okay then! Let me, an old man like me, be the vanguard officer for General Yu Jin! When I go, I will definitely fight with Guan Yu for my life. Please sit in and watch!

62. Zhang Fei: Oh my god, how did you fight this battle? Even if the 800,000-strong army stretched out its neck for Cao Jun to chop him, it would still take days and nights to chop him. Liu Bei: Don't talk nonsense, Yide.

63. Liu Bei: Why am I so stupid! Even I would have thought that Zhang Ren would set up an ambush, how could the military advisor not think of it! Luofengpo! Luofengpo! Give me back my military advisor! Give me back my military advisor!

64. Cao Cao: Based on these few words of yours, I still dare not hand over an army to you. You will be outside, and your orders will not be accepted. Once you arrive in front of the army and hold the military talisman in your hand, who can control you?

65. Cao Cao: Pound! If you lead troops to surrender to your old master, it means that you are loyal to your old master. If you lead troops to fight Guan Yu, it means you are loyal to me. No matter what you do, you are a loyal person.

66. Cao Cao: Pound! good! It seems that there is still one person in our army who has not been frightened by Guan Yu.

Pang De, let me ask you, Guan Yu is so powerful that he has not faced an opponent in more than ten years. Are you not afraid of him?

67. Sima Zhao: Commander-in-Chief, these soldiers are all drunk. How can they respond to the enemy once there is a police officer? No problem! Plant my handsome flag all over the hills. After hearing the news, the Shu army will have to retreat thirty miles even if they don't lose heart!

68. Cao Cao: OK! Pang De, for your arrogance, I will reward you with a two-level promotion and make you a vanguard. Together with Yu Jin, you will lead 80,000 troops to Fancheng to fight against Guan Yu. I will provide 200,000 troops of my own as your backup.

69. Cao Cao: This seven-star sword was unknown and unknown until I, Cao Cao, used this sword to assassinate Dong Zhuo. It was a pity that the Dong thief was not destined to die. Why, now, are you going to use it to kill me?

70. Cao Zhen: Dear generals, when I took office, I boasted about Haikou, saying that I would be able to retreat from the enemy within half a month! The governor made a mistake! The governor made a mistake! It has been eighteen days since the governor took office. He is three days late, three days late!

72. Cao Cao: Pang De, it’s not that I can’t trust you. Your old master Ma Chao is now under Liu Bei's account, and your brother is also an official in Sichuan and Shu. If I use you, the generals will also criticize you, which may shake the morale of the army. So you'd better return to your duties.

73. Xu You: We can leave aside whether Cao Cao’s military order is a trick. But I never thought that Cao Cao's scheming impression would be more terrifying than his own scheming!

74. Cao Cao pursued Dong Zhuo and was defeated after being ambushed. After returning to the camp, he saw all the princes drinking wine and angrily cursed Yuan Shao: I also have something heartbreaking to say to you. Just like a common man, they don’t want to conspire with each other!

75. Lu Bu was defeated and came to surrender to Liu Bei. Zhang Fei and Guan Yu repeatedly persuaded him not to accept him. Liu Bei said: Didn’t Cao Cao have a famous saying that he would rather let me betray the world than teach the world to betray me. I also have a famous saying, I would rather see people in the world fail me than me.

76. Cao Cao: I would like to report: General Yuan Shao, Cheng Tianwei, led the king's army and took the lead in annihilating Gongsun Zan for the court in one fell swoop. He took over the land of seven counties in Youzhou. The court should reward him with grace. The Jin Dynasty granted Yuan Shao the title. To protect the country and enjoy the Nine Tins, lead the world's military marshal

77. Pang De: Returning to the King of Wei, when I was injured and captured, the King of Wei not only did not kill me, but also treated me favorably! I am deeply grateful for your kindness and kindness, but I can hardly repay it even if my life is ruined! Today, I am a pioneer to kill the enemy and repay my kindness. How dare I have any different intentions! Please let the king of Wei take a closer look!

78. Ma Su: Thank you for the length of the article! Ma Su, alive, cannot follow the generals to conquer the rebels. Death, please bless our Shu generals and soldiers to overcome all obstacles and become invincible! When the generals make great achievements in the Northern Expedition, Ma Su will be happy under the Nine Springs!

79. My dear, you are seventy-six years old, how can I bear it? Wang Lang: Your Majesty, although I am old, my ambition is not old. People say that Zhuge Liang is close to a demon, but I don’t believe this evil! I have long wanted to capture the demon and fight Zhuge Liang in front of the battle array! Let’s see if it’s Mo Gao or Dao Gao!

80. When Cao Cao and Sun Jian discussed the Allied invasion strategy, Sun Jian sighed with hatred that iron cannot become steel: Alas! Our leader really missed a good opportunity! But Cao Cao said: Brother Wentai, you really praise Yuan Shao too much. He didn't even see this golden opportunity, so why should he miss it?

81. Yu Jin: King Wei, this Pang De was originally Ma Chao's deputy general, and he had no choice but to submit to King Wei. Now his old master is with Liu Bei, and he has become a general of the Five Tigers. His brother Pang Rou has become the governor of Xichuan. The king of Wei made him a vanguard, but the general was worried that he was just pouring oil to put out the fire! Ask the King of Wei to think twice and change his general.

82. Zhang Fei: Second brother, if you try to rob Hua Xiong from me again, I will not recognize you as second brother! Guan Yu: Third brother, let the elder brother make the decision! Liu Bei: Meng De, you can see how you can irritate my two brothers with just one word (these two people are so loved by Hua Xiong that they will turn against each other.)

83. Zhou Yu: Zijing , I have to blame you for this matter. If Liu Xuande wants to wipe his neck, just let him wipe it. Why are you stopping him? Are you waiting for you to come out and plead for mercy when the emperor and his ministers are beating gongs and drums and singing together? You are just too kind! Lines from the New Three Kingdoms

1. Liu Bei: “Every man is responsible for the rise and fall of the world.

" (Gu Yanwu of the Qing Dynasty: I want to go back and claim the original copyright...)

2. Yuan Shao: Who in the world does not recognize you. (Gao Shi of the Tang Dynasty: This is obviously plagiarism of my work "Farewell to Dong Da"!)

3. Xiaoxiao: Master... Master... (By the way, isn't this a popular term for slaves in the Qing Dynasty?)

4. Dong Zhuo: Our family wants to entertain all the officials. Attend the banquet! ("Zan" is a military term from Shanxi, used to refer to our army and horses. It means "I", "we", "you and me", etc. It had obvious military characteristics in the Ming Dynasty and represented manhood. In the Ming Dynasty, the eunuchs used it as a self-proclaimed title. Another interesting point in this statement is "all officials"...)

5. Zhang Fei: The slaves of the three surnames should not leave! Zhang Yide from Yan is here!

6. Lu Bu: What did you call me?

7. Zhang Fei: A slave with three surnames

8. Lu Bu: I am Why did the dignified Lu Bu call me a slave with three surnames?

(Lü Bu was called a "slave with three surnames" because his own surname was Lu, and he later became Ding Yuan's godson, and finally recognized Dong Zhuo. But in the new "Three Kingdoms", Lu Bu was brought into the tent directly from Xiliang by Dong Zhuo, and Ding Yuan's plot did not appear at all. In this way, the title of "house slaves with three surnames" is no longer valid. )

9. Wang Yun: This is the little girl Diao Chan.

10. Dong Zhuo: You are really a beauty hidden in a golden house! (This idiom originated from Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty who said he wanted to build a golden house when he was young. Married to cousin Chen Ajiao, later used as a metaphor to take a concubine or hide a lover)

11. Dong Zhuo (called Li Ru): Brother Li... (Li Ru, there is no such person in the official history, "Zi Zhi" There is this person in Volume 59 of "Tongjian". In the novel, he is Dong Zhuo's son-in-law and counselor. Calling him Brother Li is completely confusing the seniority.)

12. Yuan Shao: Meng De, Your class has returned to the court (Cao Cao returned after a great defeat in pursuit of Dong Zhuo, but this idiom is used to describe returning victoriously)

13. Wang Yun (advising Diao Chan): If you want to kill an animal, you must sacrifice yourself first.

14. Diao Chan: How is the step of the foster father different from that of the beast?

15. Liu Dai: I have General Pan Feng, holding a hundred-jin weapon. There are countless people who can't use the mountain-breaking ax. This man will definitely kill Hua Xiong.

16. Yuan Shao: Do ??you dare to fight?

17. Pan Feng: Why don't you dare? ? My big ax has been thirsty for a long time!

18. Chen Gong: Meng De! We did something wrong! (Cao Cao thought to himself: Did you scold me? Is it a pig? )

19. Cao Cao: Just kill him if you want. Why hesitate and make yourself miserable?

20. Wang Yun’s servants: Master, Lu Bu is here for Diao Chan. A birthday gift from the lady.

21. Cao Cao: My head is too expensive, and yours is too cheap. Sorry.

22. Cao Cao: "In the blink of an eye, the old hen turns into a duck."

23. Dong Zhuo: "Yuan Shao, that bastard!"

24. Dong Zhuo : "Cao Cao, you bastard!"

25. Dong Zhuo: Luoyang is so luxurious, I can't even miss Shu here.

26. Liu Bei: Yuan Shao is an Adou who cannot be helped. (Adou: Dad, how did you know so early? Have you changed your career to fortune telling?)

27. Cao Cao: Sima Zhao’s heart is known to everyone on the road. This is the most shocking thing. Cao Cao knew it a long time ago. He didn't kill Sima Zhao's father, which shows Cao Cao's benevolent heart.

28. Lu Bu: My Diao Chan is the first of the four beauties in ancient China!

29. Cao Cao: I want to go to Liu Bei personally. Haven’t you heard the story of visiting the thatched cottage three times? Be sincere.

30. Dong Zhuo: "Luoyang is so luxurious, I can't even miss Shu here."

31. Liu Bei: "Every man is responsible for the rise and fall of the world."

32. Lu Bu: I will propose to Master Situ right now (Lü Bu wants to propose to Wang Yun, and suspects that Lu Bu is gay.)

33. Dong Zhuo: Luoyang is so luxurious, I can’t even miss Shu here.

34. Liu Bei: Yuan Shao is an Adou who cannot be helped.

35. Cao Cao: Sima Zhao’s heart is known to everyone on the road.

36. Liu Bei: When I came to Cao Mao, Zhuge Liang actually played the empty city trick with me while he was not at home!

37. Zhuge Liang (opening the thatched cottage): Say Cao Cao, Cao Cao is here, haha, Liu Bei is here.

38. Cao Cao: I want to go to Liu Bei personally. Haven't you heard the story of visiting the thatched cottage three times? Be sincere. Classic Quotes from Cao Cao in the New Three Kingdoms

1. Remember, don’t be angry, anger will reduce your wisdom; don’t hate your enemies, because hatred will make you lose your judgment. Instead of hating my enemy, I would rather use him to my advantage.

2. Uncle, it wasn’t Ah Ma who harmed you, it was this troubled world that harmed you. Your great kindness and righteousness will never be forgotten by my nephew until his death. My nephew misses you. Uncle, Cao Cao will definitely avenge your old man, fight against thieves with justice, and clear the world.

3. A general is like a doctor. For doctors, the more people they have treated, the better their medical skills will be. In other words: the more people the doctor kills, the better the medical skills. How can a general know how to win a battle if he has not experienced several defeats? There has never been a general who is victorious in every battle in this world. There are only those who do not slack off in defeat, gain courage from defeat, and ultimately win.

4. Since you have never heard of this strong man’s name, have you heard of me, Cao Cao? Before I assassinated the president, I was an unknown person like them. How do you know whether today's unknown person will be famous in the world in the future? If one day they really become famous all over the world, will you regret what you did today?

5. Xun Yu, are you afraid that I will be jealous of you? I can tell you, no, because I understand your loyalty.

6. Xun Yu, listening to you is like drinking fine wine, intoxicating. It is simply a pleasure. Shocking Lines in the New Three Kingdoms

1. Wang Yun: "If you want to capture an animal, you must first devote yourself to the animal!"

Diao Chan: "What is the difference between what my foster father does and that of an animal?" < /p>

Wang Yun: "I beg you."

2. Liu Dai: I have General Pan Feng, holding a mountain ax weighing a hundred kilograms. If you are brave, this person will be able to kill Hua Xiong.

Yuan Shao: Do ??you dare to fight?

Pan Feng: Why don’t you dare? My big ax has been thirsty for a long time!

3. Chen Gong: Meng De! We have sinned! ! They didn’t kill us, they killed pigs!

Cao Cao: If you want to kill, just kill. Why hesitate and make yourself miserable.

4. A servant of Wang Yun’s family: Master, Lu Bu is here to give Miss Diao Chan a birthday gift.

5. Chen Gong: "There is a reward of a thousand gold pieces on your head, but my head is only fifty gold pieces."

Cao Cao: My head is too expensive, and yours is too cheap, I'm sorry. .

6. Zhang Fei: The slaves of the three surnames must not be so arrogant. The eunuch Zhang Fei is here!

7. 9-year-old Sun Quan: "If I go there in person, wouldn't he be surprised? Wouldn't he be moved?"

8. Dong Zhuo: "It's good to change clothes, it's good to change clothes." ", "It's a pity to leave Diao Chan at home. Besides, the emperor can't wait any longer..."

9. Wang Yun: This is the little girl Diao Chan.

Dong Zhuo: You are really the beauty hidden in the golden house!

10. Cao Cao pursued Dong Zhuo and was defeated.

Yuan Shao said: Mengde, your teacher has returned to the court.

12. Zhang Fei: "Lu Bu, you lost your virginity to a thief!"

13. Zhang Fei: "Second brother, if you try to rob Hua Xiong from me again, I will not recognize you." This is the second brother!" Guan Yu: "Third brother, let the elder brother make the decision!" Liu Bei: "Meng De, you can irritate my two brothers with just one word."

14. Dong Zhuo: "A banquet for all the officials"

13. Wang Yun: "I hope you will like Lu Bu." Diao Chan was shy: "I'm afraid I'm not worthy of General Lu ..."

14. Lu Bu: "Yes, yes, I will propose to Lord Situ right now.

"

15. When Cao Cao raised his troops, all the generals in his tent said in unison: "Brother, let's go to the alliance! "

16. Dong Zhuo: "Sun Jian is a hero among the princes. As long as he dies, all the princes in China will be pigs, dogs, chickens and ducks. "

17. Wang Yun: "No wonder I have had enough food and clothing recently"

18. Sun Ce: "Brother, how do you know so much?" Sun Quan: "This is what it should be." "

19. Dong Zhuo said to Wang Yun: "You want to kill our Ai Ji! "

20. Dong Zhuo: "I can give Lu Bu anything he wants, except this Diao Chan. Watch mahjong again and again... Diao Chan is the best in the world, and our family can't bear to part with it! "

21. Cao Cao touched little Sun Quan's face and said wuxfully: "This is how you give birth to a son. "

22. Cao Cao looked at Zhao Zilong who broke out and said to his subordinates, "I love him to death."