I came to Los Angeles from the isolated Chinese American community. I grew up there, lived in a small apartment, ate instant noodles and actively saved money to buy my first apartment. ...
Joy chen had the same experience as every young man who dreamed of success in a big city, until she met Maureen Gindl, a businesswoman, and became the actual operator of her dinner, which was famous in the commercial and political fields in California. This experience taught her how to deal with people from different backgrounds.
Joy chen has many celebrity friends in the United States, which almost made her climb the ladder in the process of turning into an elite headhunter in politics; In China, it seems that she is more willing to be honest with everyone. Some of these friends are well-known and some are unknown, but it doesn't matter. The details of those happy parties are presented on the internet in a private way, which becomes a more "life-oriented" supplement to the perfect woman described in her blog. "I became a well-known contact. I understand people's needs and match people I should know. More and more people contact me, and more and more people I can contact. " She wrote a book about her communication with the world, encouraging China women to "don't get married before the age of 30" and devote their time to finding their true selves. People are always curious about how a woman can freely switch between real estate developers, deputy mayors, elite headhunters, best-selling authors, mothers and wives and find a balance. Joy chen's answer is that people always like to make friends with excellent people. You hope so, and so do the people you want to make friends with.
We should be good at making friends with people who are better than ourselves, that is, if we can't do it, we should stand with those who can. Because here, you can ask them for advice, look up to them, learn the way they realize their dreams, and strive to stand at the same height as them. Most importantly, you may get an unexpected opportunity. Just stand with them, and then you will succeed. When we say that we should be close to people who are better than ourselves, we mean that we are not afraid of being hit and seeing our own shortcomings. We should use their advantages and achievements to motivate ourselves to work hard and do as well as them.
Cervantes has a famous saying: "Look at your friends and you will know what kind of person you are."
Indeed, it is not wrong that people are used to associating with people with similar abilities and status. But if you want to be better, you must associate with people who are better than you, so that you can improve yourself faster and better.
There is a farmer boy named Arthur Hua Kai in the United States. He has read some stories of great industrialists in magazines, especially a man named William Astor. He is very interested and wants to know more details, hoping to get his advice.
One day, he went to new york. Whenever he started to work, he arrived at William Astor's office at seven in the morning.
In the second room, Hua Kai immediately recognized the heavy man in front of him. Astor, a tall man, began to find this boy a little annoying, but when he heard the boy ask him, "I really want to know, how can I make millions of dollars?" His expression softened, he smiled and they talked for an hour. Later, Astor also told other famous businessmen he should visit.
Hua Kai visited first-class businessmen, editors and bankers according to Astor's instructions.
Hua Kai's advice may not help him in making money, but it gives him confidence to acquire the knowledge of successful people. He began to imitate their successful practices.
Two years later, the 20-year-old young man became the owner of the factory where he was an apprentice. At the age of 24, he was the general manager of an agricultural machinery factory. In less than five years, he had a fortune of one million dollars as he wished.
Arthur Hua Kai has been active in the industry for 67 years, practicing the basic creed he learned when he came to new york when he was young, that is, to make more excellent people. As a result, he also achieved his career like those people.
Try to get close to people who are better than yourself, stand with them, learn from their experience, share their wisdom, get close to them and fill yourself with useful things, so as to avoid detours. At the same time, their spiritual quality is also a lot of wealth, which can inspire us to strive for a higher realm and build our own career with more lasting motivation.
Of course, because excellent people are at different levels from us, there will be some obstacles in communicating with them. What we have to do is to cross these obstacles so that we can communicate with them.
First of all, we should establish our own values-in vernacular: you can do it, and so can the people you associate with. If you can't be used, you won't have a chance to make valuable friends;
Second, we should be good at conveying our own values, that is, we should be good at offering our own help to others at any time, so that we can get others' help if we are ready to help others;
The third is to get used to passing on the value of others. To use an IT vocabulary, it is to be willing to be the "recommendation engine" of the network and become the communication center. Of course, there is a difference between an exchange center and a social butterfly. The former often appears in the daytime, while the latter usually wanders in the middle of the night. ?
Specific methods to master:
Respect each other, but don't flatter, insinuate, exaggerate or have ulterior motives. This will only make excellent people feel disgusted, disgusted and disgusted. Friendship could have been established, but it could not be developed because the two sides lost their true feelings.
On the one hand, we should respect him, on the other hand, we should stand on our own feet, keep our own heart and nature, and communicate with them naturally and normally without formality. On the contrary, it can show its communicative charm, win the recognition and respect of the other party, and make excellent people willing to develop friendship with us.
They generally don't take the initiative to associate with us, but as ordinary people, they should take the initiative, be sincere, take the first step and make a friendly gesture. This is a virtue respected by their elders and a practice in communication.
The main purpose of our association with people who are better than us is to seek help. As people say, reading good books and making friends with excellent people is a great situation in life.
Seeking help and advice from excellent people is what we seek and urgently need to contact with excellent people; Second, as an excellent person, he will also get the happiness of giving and supporting, which is a realization of self-worth. ? There are skills here.
For example:? Isn't it weakness to ask for help? This is the voice of many professionals who are going up but have a little pride in their hearts. Although they respect the strong, they are always unwilling to show weakness. Although they secretly say "I want to surpass him", they often refuse to admit defeat. In fact, the stronger he is, the more detours he takes. He always has a lot of experience and resources, and of course, the most valuable contacts. He is generally good at sharing and willing to promote future generations-most business environments are not jungle areas where only one person can survive, which is also beneficial to him. In particular, powerful people generally do not take the initiative to ask for help, and they are not sure whether everyone they meet has the value of helping, let alone facing someone they don't know. Asking for help actively and telling your problems, especially your ideas to solve them, will also make him know you better. ?
? So, the next time you meet someone who is more capable than you, try to say, "I have this problem." I wonder if you can help me? " See his reaction? At least it gives each other a chance to get to know each other better. ?
? But don't make these mistakes:
? First, the question can be uncomplicated, but don't be stupid-if you are not sure whether it is stupid, you can say, "I think it's a bit stupid to ask this question, but I really don't understand …", and honesty will give you extra points.
? Second, always ask the other person to do multiple-choice questions, and don't ask the other person to do questions. This truth can be found in my diary in 2005: The Golden Pagoda Principle and the Elevator Principle, but you can continue to discuss it after the other person has answered "Yes" or "No". "Why do you think my approach is inappropriate?" . ?
Third, show the sincerity of asking and give feedback. Although there is no harm in asking each other a small question, time is precious to each other, let alone pretending to listen. Smart people are always smarter than you think. You must listen carefully and listen to the advice. If you have different opinions, you can discuss them with each other. More importantly, the next time you meet me, you should give me feedback: "Thank you for your advice last time. When I went back, I followed, and the result was (success or failure) ... ". ?
The better people pay more attention to commitment, and your question also gives the other person a potential feedback "commitment". Assuming that others think it's useless to give you advice, it's hard to get him to help you again. ?
Try to associate with people who are better than us! Associating with people who are superior to us in character, conduct, knowledge and morality can enable us to learn as much as possible from all kinds of things that are beneficial to our lives. These excellent people not only make your interpersonal network stronger and more exciting, but also inspire us to become noble and inspire us to be more enthusiastic and enterprising in our career.
Interpersonal school:
1. Don't look up at the excellent person, don't look down, you need to look straight-approach him without being counted or counted.
2. Respect and sincerity are important elements in interpersonal communication, including communication with excellent people.
For those who are better than themselves, you can ask for advice and help, but you can't rely on them.