Ai Zi felt very disappointed and thought: With this appearance, how can he look like a poet? Perhaps, people should not be judged by their appearance, nor can they be judged blindly. Then he stepped forward and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems. Can you let me read them as a student?" The man said, "I am a businessman and I never know what poetry is." He always refused to take it. Come out with poetry. Ai Zi said stubbornly: "Last night I heard you saying 'One' in the house, and then saying 'One' again. Isn't that a poem?" After hearing this, the man burst into laughter: "You misunderstood La. I had a bad stomach last night. Every time I had diarrhea, I couldn't find toilet paper, so I wiped it with my hands. I had diarrhea all night and stained my hands almost six or seven times. "Ai Zi was ashamed after hearing this. ——Old title of "Ai Zi Miscellaneous Theory" by Su Shi of the Song Dynasty Word Game Su Dongpo heard that Wang Jinggong's "Zhuo Zi" had just been completed, so he went to Jinggong to congratulate him and jokingly said: "The masterpiece says: use 'bamboo' to whip 'horse' It's true. But I still have a question: "I don't know what's so funny about using bamboo to whip dogs?" Duke Jing laughed and did not answer, but asked: "The word 'jiu' comes from 'nine', which means 'bird'. Is there any evidence?" Dongpo immediately answered: "The Book of Songs says: 'When a corpse dove is in the mulberry tree, its sons are seven.' Including their parents, there are exactly nine." "Wang Jinggong listened and nodded happily. After a long time, he realized that Su Dongpo had played a big joke on him again. ——Song Dynasty Su Shi Yuming Wang Shizhenci's "Tiao Jie Bian" Three points of poetry, seven points of reading Qin Shaozhang once said There is such a story: The poet Guo Xiangzheng once passed through Hangzhou and gave Su Dongpo a volume of poems he had written for appreciation. Before Su Dongpo could read the poem, he started to recite it vividly, and he read it with emotion, which was heard everywhere. After reciting the poem, he asked Dongpo for his opinion: "How high can Xiangzheng's poems be rated? Dongpo said without hesitation: "Ten points." "Guo Xiangzheng was overjoyed and asked why he got ten points. Dongpo smiled and replied: "When you recited a poem just now, seven points came from reading and three points came from poetry. If not ten points, what else? ” ——Su Shi Yuming and Wang Shizhenci’s "Interesting Edition" of the Song Dynasty Tax exemption When Su Dongpo was demoted to Huangzhou by the imperial court, he supervised the trade taxation work in Huangzhou. A scholar wrote a letter to Dongpo, requesting that his family’s tax be exempted. Taxes. The letter said: "I have no cargo on board, so I cannot pay taxes. Everything is at your command. Please let me go to Jingnan Mansion to retrieve my late father's coffin. " All the officials looked at it and burst into laughter. ——Su Shi Yuming and Wang Shizhenci of the Song Dynasty, "Interesting Edition" Well, Su Dongpo was bold and straightforward by nature, and he was the most troubled in his heart. He once said: "For example, there are flies in the food. Son, you will want to spit it out and then quickly. "Chao Meishu (characterized by Chao Duanyan) said this to Dongpo every time he went to see him. Once, Dongpo said to Meishu: "I was selected by Zhaoling to serve in Xianke. The Wenkui Junyan at that time often liked me. Become close friends. The emperor summoned ministers in the reception hall to come up with countermeasures. Every time I directly stated current affairs, the emperor approved and adopted them. Soon, I repeatedly submitted chapters to discuss matters. Although the purpose of the words was very direct and straightforward, the emperor never resented me. If I am not the one who gives advice to the court, who can give pertinent advice? The only thing I'm worried about now is that the imperial court will kill me. "Uncle Mei was speechless when he heard this. Dongpo sighed for a long time, and then said: "If the court really wants to kill me, what's the point of regretting my little life? There's just one thing. After killing me, it will actually make you better. "The two of them laughed at each other. ——Su Shi Yuming Wang Shizhenci's "Interesting Edition" of the Song Dynasty Shi Manqing (also known as Shi Yannian), a scholar poet of the Song Dynasty, was addicted to alcohol and had the talents of Li Banxian (Taibai). Manqing's behavior He was dissolute and good at making humorous remarks. Once, Shi Manqing was riding a horse to visit Baoning Temple. The horseman lost control and the horse started to run away. Manqing accidentally fell off the horse and fell to the ground. The attendants quickly picked him up and put him on the saddle. When pedestrians saw this, they all gathered around to watch, thinking that he would get angry and scold the horseman for a while.Unexpectedly, Shi Manqing slowly raised his riding whip and half-jokingly said to the horseman: "Fortunately, I am a bachelor of Shi. If I were a bachelor of Wa, wouldn't I have been smashed to pieces long ago?" - Song Dynasty Xing Jushi's "Han Zhang Lu" Huang Tingjian said jokingly to Su Shi: "The calligraphy of Wang Xizhi, the great calligrapher of the Eastern Jin Dynasty, is jokingly called the calligraphy of changing the goose. Today, Han Zongru is greedy. Every time he gets one of your calligraphy, he goes to the palace commander Yao Lin to exchange it for ten kilograms. Meat. In this case, you can call your calligraphy a sheep-changing book." One day, Su Shi was busy writing in the Hanlin Academy. At this time, Han Zongru sent a letter in order to get Su Shi to reply. Words are exchanged for meat. The visitor was standing under the door, and the supervisor was in a hurry. Su Shi smiled and said to him: "Go back and tell your superiors that he will stop eating meat today." ——Song Dynasty They treated each other with tea, and people at the time jokingly called it "there will be a flood today." Su Dongpo once visited a house in his early years. The host was very hospitable and asked for tea over and over again. Dongpo was embarrassed and said to the host with a smile: "As the saying goes, the old lady paints her face." The host did not understand this - he applied (tea) and applied (tea) again. ). ——Song Dynasty Xing Jushi's "Lu Zhang Lu" The Art of Prolonging Life When Pu Chuan was serving as the prefect of Hangzhou, one day, an alchemist came to pay him a visit. This alchemist is about ninety years old, but his face is as fresh as a baby's. Pu Chuanzheng entertained him happily, and the two talked very speculatively. Chuan Zheng then asked him for the magic of longevity. The alchemist replied: "My longevity technique is extremely simple and easy to perform. Basically, there is nothing taboo. There is only one thing that must be kept in mind, which must be forbidden." After hearing this, Chuanzheng bowed his head and pondered for a long time, and sighed: "If it is In this way, what is the benefit of living more than a thousand years?" - Song Dynasty Fan Zhengmin's "Dunzhai Xianlan" The Liu Mian scholar in the Tang Dynasty had a lot of taboos about the word "Luo". When he was taking part in the imperial examination in his early years, some of the examinees who accidentally said the word "Luo" when talking to him became angry and rude. If a servant accidentally committed the word "fall", he would beat him severely with a stick. Therefore, when his servants spoke to him, they often said "well-being" instead of "well-being." On this day, he suddenly heard that the list of names had been posted, and he quickly sent his servant to see it. After a while, the servant ran back, and Liu Mian hurriedly stepped forward to greet him and asked, "Is my name on the list?" The servant sighed and replied, "The scholar is well." ——Fan Zhengmin, Song Dynasty, "Dunzhai Leisure Reading" 》Chaste Lady Xu Yifang’s wife, Mrs. Liu, often prides herself on being upright and chaste. Once, when Xu Yifang was away for more than a year, Mrs. Liu stayed alone in her boudoir at home. One day, Xu Yifang suddenly returned home after handling his affairs and said to his wife: "I have been away from home for more than a year. You are bored living alone at home. Don't you often walk around with your neighbors and relatives?" Liu told him: "Since After Lang Jun went out, I felt like I had lost my head and soul. I just stayed behind closed doors every day and never left the house." After hearing this, Xu Yifang sighed repeatedly. He also asked his wife how she usually found fun. Liu replied: "Where is the fun? I just often write little poems to express my emotions." Yifang was very happy when he heard about it, so he asked his wife to take the poems and read them. You won’t know it until you read it, but you’ll be surprised when you read it—it turns out that the title of the first poem in the book is: “Moonlight Night Chatting with Neighbor Monks.” ——Fan Zhengmin, Song Dynasty, "Dunzhai Leisure Viewing" Ai Zizhang Sun Ai Zi has a grandson who is more than ten years old. He has a lazy and mischievous temperament and does not like to study. Ai Zi hated him very much and often beat him with a catalpa stick, but he never changed. Ai Zi's son only had one child, and he was often worried that the child would not be able to resist being beaten with a stick and die. Therefore, whenever his father beat the child with a stick, he would beg for mercy with tears in his eyes. When Ai Zi saw his son's pitiful appearance, he became even more angry and lectured him: "Isn't it a good idea for me to discipline your child for you?" As he said this, he beat him even harder, and his son was helpless. One winter morning, it was snowing heavily, and my grandson was playing with snowballs in the yard. Ai Zi discovered that he had taken away his grandson's clothes and ordered him to kneel on the snow. He was so cold that he shivered all over, which was really pitiful. The son did not dare to plead any more, so he took off his clothes and knelt beside his son.

When Ai Zi saw it, he was surprised and asked: "Your son has made a mistake and deserves to be punished. What crime do you have to kneel with him?" The son cried and said, "You freeze my son, and I will freeze your son." ." Ai Zi couldn't help but laugh and forgive their father and son. Pretending not to praise the other party In ancient times, there was an official named Peng Yulin who once passed by a narrow alley. A woman was using a bamboo pole to dry her clothes. The bamboo pole accidentally fell and hit Peng Yulin on the head. He became furious, pointed at the woman and cursed. The woman took a look and recognized the local military general Peng Yulin, and she couldn't help but break out in a cold sweat. But she got wise in her haste and said sternly: "Your tone is like someone in the army, so arrogant and unreasonable. Did you know that Peng Gongbao is here with us! He is honest and upright, and loves the people like a son. If I tell him, I'm afraid he will be beheaded." Where's your head?" When Peng Yulin heard the woman praising him, he couldn't help but feel happy, and he realized that he had lost his composure, so he immediately left calmly. The woman drying clothes accidentally dropped the bamboo pole and hit Peng Yulin on the head. It was unintentional but a coincidence. Fortunately, the laundry girl still knew him, and she was able to think quickly and praise him with good names and praise. She pretended not to know who the other party was but instead rebuked him for being arrogant and unreasonable. She praised Peng Yulin for being honest and upright, saying that complaining to Peng Yulin would punish him. This was not a "face-to-face" compliment, but it was better than a face-to-face compliment. It made Peng Yulin feel happy: he actually had such a good reputation as an official among the people, and he should never damage his image for such trivial matters. After he suddenly came to his senses, he turned his anger into a smile, and a quarrel that was about to break out was deftly resolved. The clothes-drying woman's move was indeed clever. A well-placed "high hat" extinguished the opponent's anger. Because maintaining a good image in the minds of others is everyone's instinctive choice. Who has the mood to get angry in the face of compliments? People all hope that they can have a good reputation in the minds of others, but they often dare not I believe in the compliments given by others in person, but I am afraid that such compliments are just for fun and will be criticized in private. At this time, a special "flattering" method comes in handy, which is "pretending to praise the other person without knowing it." Like the woman in the above example, she used this method very well. While making her "parent officials" happy, she also saved herself from disaster. A visitor to the English portrait painter Godfrey Naylor (1646-1723) commented on a full-length portrait of Mrs. Naylor that some claw marks at the bottom of the portrait greatly ruined the effect of the portrait. Naylor told the guests that this was the result of his wife's little lap dog, which often scratched Mrs. Naylor's skirt with its paws and wanted to be held by its owner. This reminded the guest of Zoxis' story: Zoxis once painted many grapes on the head of a portrait of a little boy. The grapes were so lifelike that birds flew to peck at them. Naylor slandered this legend: "If children could draw as realistically as grapes, birds would not dare to peck grapes." Too many, Mencius, Xunzi. . . . . . Famous stories. Meng's mother moved three times, Yang's son