Let's tell a short story that will impress you.

In a small aboriginal tribe in Australia, an American professor of cultural psychology asked the 5-year-old girl beside him to point out the north. She pointed it out accurately at once.

Later, when the professor gave speeches in Harvard, Princeton, London, Beijing and other places, he also did this quiz with the audience. However, those outstanding scholars and high flyers in the audience first thought for a while, and then pointed to all directions, but they couldn't find the north at all.

why is this happening? The answer will surprise you: maybe it's the language.

The language of that small Australian tribe has no left or right, but it is used in southeast, northwest and northwest regardless of its scope. For example, they will say that the boy standing south of Mary is my brother, which is obviously different from the expression habits of Chinese or English culture.

This story shows that languages that we don't usually pay special attention to may actually affect our thinking. In other words, what you say is likely to become what you are.

Li Xiaolai, a sharer in this issue, has a similar feeling. Therefore, he summed up 1 simple sentence patterns, and through the role of language, let us become smart.

I often say in my composition class that the language we use limits our thinking.

For example, in the stock market, people often lose a lot of wealth because of improper words when thinking. When the stock price held by investors falls, the word they should have used to describe the shrinking market value is book loss, not loss or actual loss.

However, some people are not trained in thinking, and they use the word loss or actual loss. Therefore, some investors can't bear the psychological pressure (in fact, they scare themselves) and sell their stocks, and the book loss really becomes an actual loss.

on the other hand, in other cases, some people miss the opportunity to reduce losses because they mistake the actual losses for book losses.

since language may restrict our thinking, we have a way to make language restrict us from moving in a good direction. The following are ten particularly simple sentence patterns, but they can make us smart. They are really smart, not just smart.

1. Really?

When you encounter any previously unknown concepts, theories, phenomena, paraphrases, etc., you can ask them, whether you ask others or yourself, or ask Google, the biggest god on the Internet, and ask them more than once anyway: Really? This step is indispensable. Without it, it is equivalent to lacking the mind.

in fact, seeking truth should have become a basic habit long ago.

2. Not the same thing, right?

marriage and love are not the same thing, are they? Reading and going to school are not the same thing, are they? History and history books are not the same thing, right? This sentence pattern is only used to identify the differences between concepts, whether huge or subtle, but there are always differences between important concepts. If they are the same thing, it is really unnecessary to have several names.

Of course, life is really strange. The same thing often has two names, such as fruit and fried dough sticks.

3. What else?

is there anything else to consider? What else haven't you considered? What other reasons are there? What's the conclusion? What other facts are there? What else is there? Ask a few more times, and you will never lose. Not only do you have to ask several times, but you have to ask again and again, every few days and every few years.

This sentence pattern will make a person think more comprehensively involuntarily.

4. Not necessarily?

Uncertainty is the essence and truth of this world. The only constant in this world is that change is always there, and the only certainty is that uncertainty is always there.

This sentence pattern is particularly important when dealing with causal logic. When someone concludes that A happened because of B, they might as well use this sentence pattern as a starting point: Not necessarily? Then you can keep thinking. What else could it be? This is a combined variant of the third sentence pattern and the fourth sentence pattern.

5. Unless

this is a sentence pattern that is much more difficult to use than it looks.

we need to use the third sentence pattern. What else? ; Not only that, but also one by one, and finally find the most important factor that may not have been considered at first, but every time you can use this sentence correctly, it means that your brain has completed a series of difficult actions.

6. Can't compare?

Definition, classification, comparison and causality are the basic logical frameworks that are used repeatedly and in combination in daily life.

X and y can't be compared, can they? Is used to deal with the core of comparison: the two sides to be compared should belong to the same category and have the same attributes. Apples and oranges are both fruits (same category) and can be eaten (same attribute), so we can compare which one tastes better. Apples and socks can't be put together, and there's no way to compare them.

7. In essence,

seeing through the appearance is the most important thinking skill. If you use this sentence pattern correctly, you will involuntarily force yourself to think more (further thinking).

well, it seems so, but in fact? Or, well, that's a superficial understanding, so what's the essence?

8. The most important thing is that

this sentence pattern is so important that you can even temper your values by using it repeatedly.

In causal analysis, we should find the most important reason among many reasons; In the use of concepts, we should find the most mistakes that should not be made; In comparison, we should know what the most important criterion is; When analyzing the phenomenon, we should see the most essential content (the variation of the seventh sentence pattern)

9. It's not that simple, is it?

Some things are really simple, but more often, people like to oversimplify.

the second sentence pattern (is not the same thing? The reason why it is useful is that people tend to oversimplify and even confuse concepts that have important differences (lazy or trying to save trouble), and even fall into the trap unconsciously. If everything goes too well, ask yourself: it's not that simple, is it? There may often be unexpected gains.

1. What's so complicated?

some things are really not that complicated. Complicating simple things is an important way for many people to brush their sense of existence, because it will be very smart.

it's interesting to say that many complicated things can actually be very simple after in-depth study. The premise here is that simplicity is really meaningful after in-depth study.

Before further study, the ninth sentence pattern is more applicable; After in-depth research, if there is no application of the tenth sentence pattern, it is likely that the research is not deep enough.

To sum up, these ten sentence patterns deserve to be used repeatedly in our daily life, and finally we can use them casually. Brain power, like physical strength, can gain more strength through a lot of exercise.

really?

not the same thing, is it?

what else?

not necessarily?

unless

there is no comparison, right?

in essence,

the most important thing is that

it's not that simple, is it?

where is it so complicated?

if you do these 1 things, there is no relationship that cannot be improved.

if you do these 1 things, there is no relationship that cannot be improved.

1. Determine your own value and affirm your existence.

Anyone should always give you your opinion as a reference and advice, because that comparison represents himself. If you affirm yourself through the eyes of others, you are surrendering the sovereignty of your life; This is the most common mistake in all interpersonal relationships.

only you can decide who you are. Therefore, don't let others see you instead of yourself. A really great person is someone who can see great places in other people's lives; A man is great because he can see that there is greatness in everyone's heart.

2. Let people around you feel great because they are with you.

This is not to make us arrogant, but to feel that we have the ability and confidence to handle things well.

Only when you can dust off the appearance of others, see clearly the inner uniqueness of others, and make people around you feel great because of getting along with you, can you become the one who discovers the beauty of pearls.

people naturally hate being with people who can only project negative energy. Seeing people who radiate the light and positive power of life will re-inspire our inner message of youth and vitality.

3. No matter how much deception you encounter, you still believe that human nature is good.

In the process of learning and creation, you sometimes do things that are ignorant and destructive. If we judge the value and essence only by human behavior, then people will never have a chance to turn over. What we need is a kind of tolerance and acceptance that truly conforms to the spirit of the new era.

4. Ask yourself what you can give and share in interpersonal relationships

Many people want to have good interpersonal relationships, but in fact they are as poor as beggars, begging for love, care and pay. Sometimes the same is true in marriage and emotional relationships. As a result, interpersonal relationship has become a kind of transaction, and many people only expect others to give things, but they don't reflect on what they can give.

In interpersonal relationships, if you just wait for someone to give you something, you will get nothing, but if you give love and blessing, you will get love and blessing.

5. Those who attack others are basically attacking themselves.

There is a very important new age motto: According to the laws of the universe, whatever you pay will eventually return to yourself.

From this sentence, we can derive the fifth law of interpersonal relationship: those who attack others are basically attacking themselves; He who hits others on the right face is hitting himself on the left face. If you take the method of fighting evil with evil, then what you give will eventually come back to you. In interpersonal relationships, people often fail to see this clearly.

people must learn to be responsible for themselves, otherwise, not only the interpersonal relationship is a mess, but they will always feel lost. You are taking action and being kind to others for yourself and knowing who you are. We should return to our hearts instead of arguing with others all the time.

6. Let the internal emotions get intimate recognition with the external weather

Whenever there is anger or sadness in your heart, you should learn to transform their energy into meditation, especially when the wind is raging and the rain is howling, try to throw the negative emotions out, instead of venting them on your family or children, and learn to get intimate recognition from the external weather and internal feelings.

People often accumulate negative emotions and clash with others in a rage, which often hurts people and themselves. At this time, we might as well do a meditation exercise, regard ourselves as a grounding line and connect with the earth, so that our emotions can be relieved. In fact, the airflow flowing in our trachea is the same as the airflow roaring through the valley, and the soul and energy flowing in our body are also the same as the energy of the earth. Therefore, if we feel that pressure is accumulating inside us or conflicts are about to break out, such meditation is a good exercise.

7. What you give to the other party is what the other party needs, not what you want to give in your subjective consciousness

This problem often leads to the entanglement of love and hate in interpersonal relationships. Especially in the parent-child or friend relationship, we often make ourselves hot and cold, and feel very depressed.

Therefore, interpersonal communication should not be suspicious, but should directly ask the other party: How do you want me to treat you? This is a panacea that touches people's hearts. It is probably the first time someone has asked him such words for a long time!

everyone wants to understand and accept each other and be treated in the way they like. So, don't hesitate to release it to others. I want to know more about your message. Especially when running a parent-child relationship, you should hold your child. How do you want your parents to treat you? Children, parents want to know more about your attitude and run parent-child and interpersonal relationships in a non-critical way.

8. Let go of your own position and viewpoint and look at things from the other side's perspective

Criticism is the biggest killer of interpersonal relationships. Keeping a distance between people is often out of defense, because we don't know what people will think or whether they will hurt us. Therefore, if you don't want to be the object of criticism by others and don't want to be limited by the framework of others' values, you should try to face the people around you with a more flexible and accepting attitude. Any criticism you project will eventually bounce back to you. Those who refuse to make others feel better are bound to have a hard time.

Only when you jump into the other person's position first, and then jump back to see the whole thing, will you consider others in your decisions and actions. People are strange animals. When they find that others are thinking of themselves, they will give up selfish departmentalism and start thinking of each other. After this interpersonal relationship is gradually expanded, the great love of the whole mankind will appear.

9. Give others affirmation, and like others

Don't underestimate yourself just because you are junior or in a lower position, and think that your own words are light and your influence is limited.

There is a difference between empathy and sympathy:

empathy is to look at each other's lives from the perspective of putting themselves in their shoes. For example, when we see a beggar, we will squat down and chat with him to learn about his life;

Compassion is to look at each other from their own position and position, so they will sympathize with each other's situation, but it is separate from each other's position and mood.

the two are completely different levels of feelings. The same is a deep understanding.

no one likes to be sympathized with, but everyone likes to be empathetic!

1. Express your feelings truly, and don't blame and blame each other's mistakes

Finally, I want to mention a situation: sometimes there will be obstacles in interpersonal relationship, maybe the other party doesn't want to listen to your explanation, or you think it is not the right time to communicate with each other. At this moment, we should master an extremely important principle: communicate with others, and truly express our feelings without blaming and blaming each other's mistakes.

When people are accused by others, their first reaction is to defend and fight back. We should learn to open our hearts and tell our true feelings.

As an employee who works hard but is not favored by his boss, he can actually tell his boss honestly: I need your approval.

Therefore, in interpersonal communication, it is very important to tell the other person how you really feel and open your heart. Let people around you feel great because they are with you.

1 inspirational quotes

1. The sensitivity and originality of young people can complement each other once they are combined with the rich knowledge and experience of mature scientists. Beveridge

2. Strong belief will win strong people, and then make them stronger. Walter Becky

3. When a good flower is in full bloom, you should pick it first, and be careful not to wait for the beautiful scenery to be difficult, otherwise it will wither and fall on the dust in an instant. Shakespeare

4. The most promising winners are not those with outstanding talents, but those who make the best use of every opportunity to explore and develop. Socrates

5. Determined to work hard is like planting a tree, but its roots and buds are still not dry; It is dry, but there are no branches yet;