The Art of Talking Between Friends: There are ways to ask for help

Asking for help means using your words to persuade others. This is not an easy task, but if Once you have mastered certain language skills and are able to understand things rationally and express emotions, it will become much easier.

One sentence makes people laugh

After years of hard work, Gao Shan became the assistant to the principal of a university. Recently, the school is planning to build a library and needs to raise 1 million yuan. To this end, the shrewd Takasugi thought of a boss who was a former student of this university and a good friend of his.

One day, Gao Shan visited this friend and said: Recently, our alma mater is raising funds to build a library. When considering this matter, the school management committee first thought of you. You are the pride of our school. When you were in school, you said that as an entrepreneur in the future, you would definitely repay your alma mater. Now the opportunity to fulfill your promise has finally arrived. The students know that we want to raise funds, and they all want to contribute their own efforts, but I think the most powerful one is you, and I hope you can support us more.

His friend said: No problem, I am struggling not to know what to do for the school. Now that there is such a good opportunity, I will give my full support. A few days later, a donation of 1 million yuan was transferred to the school's account.

When you need help from a friend, it is best to tell your true thoughts, and then use corresponding language skills to let the other party recognize your idea, so that your friend will do his best to help you. .

One sentence can make people jump

Xiao Zhang and Xiao Liu used to teach in a middle school, and they have a very good relationship. Later, Xiao Liu went to work and opened a company, and the business was booming. Xiao Zhang still insists on staying in his original school. Although he has been promoted to grade leader, he is not financially well-off due to his large family expenses.

It is often said that a house leaks and it rains continuously, and a boat encounters headwinds. Xiao Zhang had just finished paying the mortgage, but his son was hospitalized for appendicitis and needed surgery. He was just short of a thousand yuan to raise the money. At this time, Xiao Zhang's wife asked him to find his good friend Xiao Liu. Everyone said that Xiao Liu was worth millions, and borrowing a thousand yuan was not a piece of cake.

This afternoon, Xiao Zhang came to Xiao Liu's company. Xiao Liu happened to be in a meeting, and the secretary asked Xiao Zhang to wait in the reception room.

Xiao Zhang looked at the surrounding environment and was extremely greedy. At this time, Xiao Liu came and was very happy to see Xiao Zhang. The two exchanged pleasantries, and Xiao Zhang was full of praise for Xiao Liu.

Next, Xiao Zhang got to the point: I can't stay with you for a long time. First, you are very busy. Second, my son is sick and is in the hospital. I don't have enough money. One thousand yuan. Everyone knows that Xiao Liu, you are now worth several million, lending me a thousand yuan is not like pulling the hair out of a cow!

When Xiao Liu heard what Xiao Zhang said, he was very unhappy: I have to work hard to earn a thousand yuan! Besides, the company's funds cannot be moved casually. But he didn't show it, but called his secretary and said: Xiao Huang, this is my good friend, your name is Brother Zhang. Brother Zhang is in urgent need of a thousand yuan now. I seem to have left my wallet at home, and the company's money cannot be touched casually. Let's do this, you give Brother Zhang a thousand yuan first, and I will give you the money later.

Xiao Huang said: Okay, Mr. Liu!

When Xiao Zhang heard what Xiao Liu said, he felt very angry and wanted to turn around and leave, but his son was still waiting for surgery! He just tried not to get angry. When he took the money, he really wanted to find a crack in the ground and crawl into it.

Originally, Xiao Liu lent Xiao Zhang a thousand yuan without any effort. But because there was something wrong with Xiao Zhang's way of speaking, Xiao Liu was very unhappy, so he didn't want everything to go smoothly for Xiao Zhang.

Action Guide

(2) Reach ***consciousness first, and then make a request. Emphasize the importance and urgency of a certain issue, reach a consensus with the other party, and then take advantage of the situation to make a request to solve the problem, making it difficult for the other party to refuse.

(3) Strive for understanding.

When we ask for help from a friend and are rejected, we often find that the other party did not actually consider it carefully and just made the decision to refuse because of emotion or other small reasons. At this time, we should stand in the position of a third party. , help the other party analyze its decision, and then prompt it to agree to your request.

(4) The most important thing between friends is sincerity. When asking a friend for help, integrate the request into your feelings to show that asking for help is a last resort. This will make it easier to get help from the other person. Everyone likes to hear compliments. When you ask a friend for help, even if the thing you ask for is a trivial matter for him, you might as well give him a high hat first. Never say inappropriate words in front of your friends. , whether it’s directed at the friend himself or not.

(5) Have a good sense of proportion. When asking for help, don't make excessive demands. The things you ask for help from the other person should be within the other person's ability. Only in this way can you achieve the best effect of asking for help. In addition, don't forget to repay the other person after the thing is done, of course it is emotional. Even if it cannot be realized immediately, you should help the other person when they need it. Workplace Talk: There are ways to talk to colleagues of the opposite sex

Workplace Talk: There are ways to talk to colleagues of the opposite sex

Of course, conversations between colleagues of the same gender should be more casual, but for people of the opposite sex Colleagues, you should be particularly careful when talking. Although it is not required to set up defenses everywhere and guard every step, at least the differences between men and women should not be ignored.

One sentence to make people laugh

Because Mr. Jiang was rushing to write a proposal, he needed to find Miss Zhu, the computer operator, to check the relevant information. You can see Miss Zhu’s cold expression, Mr. Jiang Some want to back down.

After settling down for a while, Mr. Jiang started chatting with her: Miss Zhu is quite busy every day!

Yes!

Do you have some qualifications for being so proficient in operating a computer?

Not long!

After several rounds, Miss Zhu not only remained categorical in her answers, but her face remained frozen. So, Mr. Jiang changed his conversation strategy: I heard from the manager that there are two most famous angels in our unit. Who do you think they are?

I don’t know! Miss Zhu still answered simply.

Okay, let me tell you, one is the public relations angel Xiao Wu, and the other is you, the young lady! Mr. Jiang slowed down the conversation and said.

What angel do they call me?

Seeing that Miss Zhu’s expression was a little more relaxed, Mr. Jiang paused deliberately and said: I call you a cold angel!

That’s nonsense, Xiao Jiang, do you think I look like me? In fact, Miss Zhu's chat box was finally opened.

Facing the cold Miss Zhu, when the conversation was almost deadlocked, Mr. Jiang seized on the other party’s cold weakness and used the words of a third party to stir up the topic, which gave Miss Zhu her dignity. In a cruel blow, she defended Mr. Jiang with a barrage of arguments in order to maintain her self-esteem, and showed her enthusiasm, gentleness and kindness, thus making the conversation between the two harmonious and pleasant.

If you are a male and want to communicate smoothly with your female colleague, you must understand her psychological characteristics before talking.

One sentence makes people jump.

Zhang Ming is a technician in a software company. When he was about to get off work that day, the manager asked him to go to the finance office to find accountant Wang Li to reimburse an expense.

When Zhang Ming arrived at the finance room, he found that Wang Li was there, but looking unhappy. Zhang Ming guessed that Wang Li was having trouble with her boyfriend.

Zhang Ming wanted to liven up the atmosphere, so he praised Wang Li and said: Your handwriting is so beautiful! Nowadays, people who can write with such good handwriting are rarer than dinosaurs!

Wang Li was already in a bad mood. When she heard Zhang Ming compare herself to a dinosaur (online language refers to girls who are not pretty as dinosaurs), her mood became even worse. She said unceremoniously Say: Really? I'm really honored to be called a dinosaur by you.

Zhang Ming quickly explained: I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. What I meant was that Wang Li interrupted him: "Then what do you mean?" Am I as scary as a dinosaur?

Of course not, I mean your handwriting is beautiful, comparable to that of the calligrapher Wang Xizhi.

You are exaggerating! According to what you say, there are too many Wang Xizhi in the world! Zhang Ming's description became darker and darker, and he felt embarrassed.

Zhang Ming originally wanted to praise Wang Li, but unfortunately he used the wrong words, which turned out to be self-defeating. When speaking to a woman, even if you use words of praise, you must master the timing of speaking and the accuracy of your words.

Action Guide

Due to the differences in innate thinking habits between men and women, communication between colleagues of the opposite sex in the workplace will inevitably encounter some difficulties.

For example, if a male colleague is obese and you call him fat a few times, he may not mind at all; but if it is a female colleague, she must not be fat and yell like a fat person, otherwise it may Disaster is coming. For another example, men often boast that they are older to show that they are experienced. But if you meet a new unmarried female colleague at a company party, out of concern for her, you walk over and ask her: You look very old, how old are you? If you really do this, I'm afraid this female colleague will hate you for the rest of her life.

Workplace experts point out that in the workplace, men are like going to the battlefield to prepare for battle, while women are like going to community service centers to build interpersonal relationships. Therefore, men’s work style is more combative, while women tend to be cooperative. Such different styles mean that conflict and confusion are inevitable. Therefore, some methods are needed to achieve effective communication between colleagues of the opposite sex in the workplace.

(1) How should women communicate with male colleagues. When speaking to male colleagues, your attitude should be solemn, generous, and gentle, and you must not be too frivolous or overly frivolous, otherwise it will easily cause misunderstandings to the other party and cause unnecessary trouble. Pay special attention to your wording and tone when speaking, as this determines how carefully a man will listen. Women often unintentionally use self-disempowering words such as okay, maybe, maybe, probably, probably, and I'm not sure this is a good idea. However, such words will make women appear to be lacking in power and should be avoided as much as possible.

In addition, for women, asking questions is an effective way to obtain information, but men will think that she does not know enough and should not be competent. Because they don't like to ask questions. The reason is that they are taught from an early age that it is a man's duty to provide all the answers and to show that he knows everything. To win power and respect, women need to make up for their thinner, softer voices and use more confident, factual statements and less sentences that sound more like questions.

When speaking to male colleagues, do not be too nagging or speak too loudly. Men often like to boast in front of female colleagues, talk about their adventures, their careers and their likes and dislikes. They also like to express their opinions to make the listeners feel surprised and admired. If a woman is willing to be a good listener, she will gain great favor from her male colleagues. Of course, if the other person is unbearable to you, interrupt him tactfully or simply tell him bluntly: I'm sorry!

I have something else to do.

(2) How should men communicate with female colleagues. Women are often weak communicators in the workplace. Men should give more consideration, care, trust and sharing to their female colleagues, allowing them to finish their words and express their meaning clearly without interrupting or acting like I know everything. impatient attitude.

In the process of talking with female colleagues, do not break the vanity of the other party. Strong vanity is a major characteristic of female psychology. Reasonable and appropriate use of various methods to satisfy their vanity during the conversation will result in the other party being greatly satisfied psychologically and the conversation will become relaxed.

In addition, when talking to female colleagues, talk more about emotional things and avoid theory. Abstract things can only arouse resentment. Talking about some light topics is the key to shortening the psychological distance between each other. You can talk about the way she dresses without getting philosophical.

Only sensual things are the most acceptable to women.

Finally, for female colleagues of any age, do not take the initiative to ask about their age during the conversation, never say that they look a bit old, and do not comment on their backward or inappropriate clothing. body. After grasping these psychological characteristics of women, communication at work will be much easier. The art of talking between friends: humorous conversation is lovable

The art of talking among friends: humorous conversation is lovable

Humor is like a spark that occurs in an instant, it is instantaneous Lingsi, so only extraordinary wit and extremely quick reactions can produce humorous sentences. Humorous language may resolve embarrassing situations, or it may serve as a warning during conversation and laughter.

One sentence to make people laugh

Xiao Wang was invited to attend the wedding of an old classmate. Maybe God also wanted to come to the wedding to join in the fun. On this day, a light rain came from early in the morning. Never stopped for a moment. When he arrived at his old classmate's house, Xiao Wang's clothes were covered with splashes of mud. At the banquet, when a newlywed couple toasted to him, they saw that he was covered in mud and water and said apologetically: You have worked hard for coming here in the rain. It's all my fault that I didn't choose the right day.

Xiao Wang hurriedly took over the conversation and said: Since ancient times, when there is rain after a long drought, meeting an old friend in a foreign land, the night of flowers and candles in the bridal chamber, and the time when the gold medal is named, these are the four major happy events in life, so that you two can catch up in one day. Two, this is called double happiness!

What Xiao Wang said made the whole room applaud. Xiao Wang still felt that he still had more to say, so he continued: Since we are talking about rain, I have a limerick that I would like to take this opportunity to give to the two newcomers. After saying this, he then chanted: Good rain knows the season, and when it comes to marriage, it happens. Sneak into the night with the wind and listen to the sound of your kiss.

A crooked poem made the bride's cheeks turn red and the whole audience burst into laughter. The mud and water on her clothes seemed to be washed away by the festive atmosphere.

Xiao Wang’s words established his speaking image and speaking style, making him a popular person everywhere. In today's era of increasingly close and frequent interpersonal communication, language plays an increasingly important role. As long as we treat life with an open-minded attitude and decorate it with humorous language, we will find that life is full of fun, warmth and joy. and laughter.

One sentence makes people jump.

Although Li Gang is a male, he has a weak personality and a very pessimistic mind. If anything went wrong, he would say: Nothing goes well today! I often heard him say things like: That's a really annoying guy. I have no talent. I'm a useless person who can't do anything.

Once, Li Gang attended a colleague’s birthday party, and his colleague introduced a friend to him.

After the meeting, my colleague’s friend complained: It’s so tiring to talk to your colleague Li! He kept talking about how he met someone in college and how he broke up sadly. I couldn't get a word in, so I had to pretend to be very sympathetic and wait patiently for him to finish.

Everyone will have frustrations, including career frustrations, emotional frustrations, and family frustrations. If you use humor in a timely manner when you encounter something that doesn't go your way, your mood will become very relaxed and your life will suddenly become more colorful.

Action Guide

Humor is a kind of wisdom that embodies an optimistic and positive attitude towards life. It is like a lubricant that can effectively reduce the friction coefficient between people. Resolve conflicts and contradictions, and bring people closer together. Humor has rules to follow, but humor also depends on the target. Choosing the wrong occasion and the wrong target to joke may have bad effects.

In the art of conversation, humor is an expression technique that uses meaningful language to reproduce the dramatic characteristics and phenomena of real life, thereby conveying a special message. Under normal circumstances, people who are truly proficient in the art of conversation are actually humorous people who are good at leading topics and making boring conversations interesting. Humorous language can release our inner tension and pressure and turn it into a relaxed smile.

No one in the world is born with a sense of humor. All of them need to undergo later training and hard work to become a master of humor. Humor can be learned, and a variety of rhetoric can be used to achieve humorous effects, such as personification, exaggeration, imitation, reflection, etc. Personification is to compare things to people and give them the feelings, thoughts, images, etc., so as to make the expression more vivid; exaggeration is to exaggerate the truth, which is the most common method of humorous rhetoric expression in daily life; parody is to deliberately imitate and apply A way of expression that uses existing fixed language forms to narrate. The main feature is to apply existing words, sentences, paragraphs, etc. to reveal the inherent contradictions of the things being described and create new artistic conceptions; reflection is to apply the other party's words on the spot. Joking and refuting the other person is a kind of language return, the purpose is to treat the other person in the same way.

Humor can be embodied in self-humility and self-mockery. Humorists often deliberately mock themselves, appropriately belittle their own talents and achievements in a relaxed and humorous manner, and show humor in humility. Friendly humor can express sincere friendship between people, communicate souls, shorten the distance between people, and bridge the gap between people. It is an indispensable thing for establishing good relationships with others. Especially when a person wants to express inner dissatisfaction, if he can use humorous language, it will sound more pleasant to others; when a person needs to change the attitude of others from negative to positive, using humorous language will be very persuasive. force.

To learn humor, you must have an optimistic spirit and look at problems with an optimistic attitude. There will always be many setbacks in life. Only when we treat them with an optimistic and positive attitude can we sail forward and sail across the sea. People who always look at everything from an optimistic perspective will naturally not lack a sense of humor. In fact, there are very few things in this world that are truly comforting. People tend to forget even pleasant things, and most of the things that linger in their minds are not that pleasant. When frustrated or embarrassed, people with a sense of humor will turn decay into magic, creating a kind of cheerfulness that makes a village brighter and a spring breeze sweeping the world. The art of speaking between strangers: Don’t be superfluous when speaking

The art of speaking between strangers: Don’t be superfluous when speaking

Zi Qin once asked his teacher Mozi : Are there any benefits to talking too much? Mozi replied: The frog crows day and night, making the mouth dry, but it is not liked by people. And when the rooster crows at dawn, everyone in the world is woken up! What are the benefits of talking too much? That's exactly what happened.

One sentence to make people laugh

Pop star Wang Leehom and piano master Lang Lang had a collaborative performance in Hong Kong. The two were not familiar with each other before, and Wang Leehom thought Lang Lang was a taciturn literary young man. Unexpectedly, after the meeting, Lang Lang became silent: Leehom, you are the descendant of the dragon, and I am the descendant of the wolf (Lang). This opening statement immediately brought the two young people closer together.

With such a sentence, Lang Lang left a good impression on Leehom Wang. Wang Leehom said on many occasions: Lang Lang is the easiest and most enthusiastic classical musician I have ever seen!

Between two strangers, an unusual opening statement can make a difference in a conversation and leave a lasting impression.

One sentence makes people jump

On the bus, a young migrant worker carrying a big bag held a map in his hand. His face was full of confusion. He was coming from out of town. He hesitated for a while and asked the conductor: Master, where should I get off the bus?

The conductor said impatiently: You are sitting in the wrong direction, you should take the bus back. The conversation should have ended here, but the conductor just said one more thing: I can’t even understand the map, what else can I do?

Of course the young man from out of town heard it, but he just smiled and prepared to get out of the car. However, the old man sitting nearby couldn't listen anymore. He glanced at the conductor, turned to the young man from out of town and said: Actually, you don't have to sit back, you can just sit a few stops ahead and change trains.

The old man's words ended here, but he just said one more thing: The education of today's young people is really bad!

There were so many young people in the car, and the impact of these words was so broad that a young girl standing next to the uncle couldn't help it: Uncle, is this wrong? After all, the uneducated ones are in the minority! The young girl said nothing, but she couldn't help but add another sentence: Many people of your age may seem kind, but their stomachs are full of bad water!

At this time, a middle-aged woman answered again: You, a girl, are so young, why do you talk to the elderly like this? You should be polite after all! The middle-aged woman's criticism was correct, but she added one more thing: Look at what you're wearing, I guess your parents can't control you even if they want to, you're dressed like a goblin. As soon as he said these words, it was like dropping a bomb. Naturally, the young girl couldn't swallow this breath, and the car suddenly seemed to explode.

At this time, the bus arrived at the station, opened the door, and the conductor said: Everyone, stop arguing. Those who should get off the bus should get off quickly, and don’t delay your own business. However, he didn't forget to add one more sentence: If you really want to make a quarrel, just get out of the car and make a quarrel. Don't you bother me?

If everyone on the bus had spared the last words they said, I believe this war of words would never have happened. In fact, many times, just because of the addition of that last sentence, two people who were originally at peace with each other become opponents and enemies, and a conversation turns into a conflict. Remember, once words are spoken, they cannot be taken back. We advocate having good eloquence, but we remind you to always control your words. If you talk too much, you will make mistakes. Don't pay a heavy price for a moment of eloquence.

Action Guide

Misfortune comes from the mouth and ruins a person's reputation, but good fortune comes from the heart and brings glory to a person. Sometimes the person speaking does not have any malicious intent, but just wants to show off his rhetoric for a while, but to the listener, it may be hurtful to him. It is better to keep your mouth shut and make people doubt your shallowness than to prove your shallowness as soon as you open your mouth. This is a famous saying worth remembering.

Some small misunderstandings or frictions between people are normal in an increasingly diversified society. Broad-minded people will generally forget about it, but not everyone does. Have such a big heart. In interpersonal communication, it is often seen that some quarrels originate from trivial matters. However, due to one party's quick talk, trivial matters often turn into big matters, and even lead to disasters.

Most people who like to express their quick words are impetuous and accustomed to blaming others. In their spiritual world, there is no word forbearance at all. As long as things don't go their way, they will curse at things and people in order to relieve the worries in their chests, that's all. But they never thought that their anxious emotions would be vented. How would the person being scolded feel?

Just like a person's pores will stand up after sneezing, a moment of quick talk is actually a way to vent physiological pleasure.

The difference is that the pleasure of sneezing is purely physiological, while the pleasure of speaking quickly is mixed with a strong psychological color.

In this sense, to overcome the problem of being quick to talk for a while, we must work hard on daily self-psychological adjustment.

First of all, we must remember this principle: we should speak as little as possible in any place and occasion. Silence is worth promoting. If you have to say something, then you should pay attention to the content, meaning, wording, tone and posture of what you say, as well as what to say on what occasion and how to say it appropriately.

Secondly, if you don’t know the inside story, don’t talk nonsense. There is no perfect person in the world, and you should not talk about other people's shortcomings or reveal other people's privacy. First of all, you must understand that what you know about others may not be reliable, and there may be secrets that you don't know. If you rashly publicize the one-sided phenomenon you know, you will inevitably confuse right and wrong and confuse right and wrong. By the time the truth came out, it was already too late to recover.

If you say good things about bad people, others will think you are ignorant at best; if you say bad things about good people, it will harm your morality.

So when studying the art of speaking, you must first learn to speak less. Of course, you can only say less but not say nothing at all. To speak well while speaking less and well is the art of eloquence.