"Quiet as a virgin, crazy as a rabbit."

"The two of them are just separated by a wall and have never met. Because one of them always goes to the left and the other always takes the elevator. "

"Hello, I want a rape popcorn."

"It is the duty of every citizen to despise you." Accidental, absolutely accidental, very accidental, too accidental

Your eyes are clear and moving, your hands are gentle and delicate, and your heart is crystal clear;

Your arms are strong, your breasts are broad and strong, and your skin is impeccable.

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you.

I'll spray you to death with a bite of salt and soda.

Tell your unhappy things to make everyone happy.

Bus master: "Hey, either put money in, swipe your card or roll out. What are you looking at?"

Bus master: "it's really ~ you can't even afford to take a bus, and you dare to pretend to be the mother."

Your mother must have thrown someone away and raised the placenta when she gave birth to you.

Riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but also a Tang priest …

It is not necessarily a monk who can burn incense, but also a panda …

Those who have tattoos are not necessarily bad people, but those who are willing to be Yue Fei ~

It is not necessarily a big bird that can fly, but Li Ning.

Never hang yourself from a tree. Try to hang yourself several times on several surrounding trees. ....

I am a born actor. From small to large, I saw beautiful MM eyes are round.

Passerby: I fell in love with my colleague.

Passerby: But I didn't tell him.

Passerby: I told my colleague Hao.

Passerby: Hao promised not to tell anyone.

Passerby: But my colleague Ade told me.

Passerby: A Hao secretly told another colleague, Alin.

Passerby: Alin is familiar with Archie's ex-girlfriend Allen again.

Passerby: I'm afraid Alin will tell Allen.

Passerby: Then Allen went back and told A Zhi.

Passerby: Then I'm embarrassed.

Passerby: Fortunately, Allen is in love with Ade now.

Passerby: So I went to Ade to help me solve this problem.

Passerby: Ed told me that Allen and he had broken up.

Passerby: He is dating Alin now. Let me find Arlene.

Passerby: But Alin told me that A Hao actually said nothing to him.

Passerby: Now I'm dizzy. Who should I trust?

Ceng Xiaoxian: A Ou.

Passerby: I'm talking about A Zhi, not Ou. He is my colleague from another department.

Passerby: A Ou is Alin's younger brother.

Passerby: But I can't tell him that the person I like is the ex-boyfriend of your brother's girlfriend.

Passerby: This will make the relationship more chaotic.

Ceng Xiaoxian: Aqiao.

Passerby: t?

Passerby: How do you know that there is another colleague named T in our company?

Passerby: He bears a grudge against Alin, probably because he has a crush on Allen.

Passerby: But T and A Hao have a good relationship.

I allow you to walk around in my world, but you are not allowed to run around in my world. Yifei: There's something I've always wanted to say, but I don't know if I should. Joe: You're making a costume film. This is not your line. It's so fake. Yifei: She may need to keep a spare tire.

Zi Qiao: This date was originally to find a spare tire. Now she has found Guan Gu. Then I'm not a spare tire.

Yifei: Well, the second child for short.

Audience: "I ate sesame seeds and beer covers, wonton ate mothballs, patted flies on my nails, went to Qingsongguan to burn incense, and my mobile phone fell into the merit box and I couldn't get it out."

Traffic police: "A BMW is coming at a speed of 280 yards, followed by a Mercedes-Benz. Wait a minute, followed by a tractor, so much the better. There is a left lane change light. He wants to overtake! "

Psychologist: "It's a cuckold again. It seems that your greening is good! " "

Bus master: "Hey, either put money in, swipe your card or roll out. What are you looking at?" It's really ~ I can't even afford to take a bus, and I dare to pretend to be the mother. "

Radio host: "A listener just called his girlfriend and said-I'm sorry, I lost your mother in the Antarctic trip last year. I hope you can forgive me. " And order a song "You're Back" by Sun Nan for her. "

Zi Qiao: "My melancholy history began at the age of eight: at that time, the sky was still blue, the water was green, chickens and ducks had no bird flu, and pork was safe to eat." At that time, you had to wear clothes to take pictures and pay your debts. My mother-in-law's daughter doesn't want your house, and the child's father knows very well. "

Zhan Bo: "Sister, if someone hurts you deeply, how can you forgive him?"

Yifei: "Oh, it is God's business to forgive him. My task is to send him to see God! " "

Zhan Bo: "I want a treasure map. You give me a map, huh?" Is this still a map of the world? "

Uncle policeman: "Who is 1 10?" Guangu: "I ordered takeout."

Zi Qiao: "Let's split it 50/50."

Meijia: "Wait a minute, say yes first. Who is five?"

Zhanbo: "I want a popcorn with rape."

Wan Yu: "Hello, give me five portions of rape popcorn."

Yifei: "Two prodigies, so fierce."

Zhan Bo: "Oh, when did it change its name?"

Children who raise money to protect animals: "It's freezing rain in Antarctica, and polar bears freeze to death."

Guan Gu: "Wait a minute, it's freezing rain in Antarctica. What happened to the polar bear? "

Child: "(satirizing Guan Gu's ignorance) You are not from Altman's hometown, are you?"

Guan Gu: "I'm from Altman's hometown ~"

Child: "You should be my child."

Psychologist: "What was the scariest dream you ever had?"

Zi Qiao: "That was when I was in high school. One day I dreamed that I was taking an exam. Later, I was awakened, and something even more terrible happened. It turns out that I am really taking an exam! "

Yifei said Zhanbo: "Your mother must have thrown away people and raised the placenta when she gave birth to you."

Zhan Bo: "Sister, didn't you say that the early bird gets the worm?"

Yifei: "I found that I was wrong. The early worm was eaten by the bird. "

Yifei: "Ceng Laoshi, what's so unhappy? Say it to make everyone happy. "

Yifei: "How easy it is to have children!"

Zi Qiao: "Yes, children always ask why my mother's man is not my father."

Yifei: "She may need to keep a spare tire."

Zi Qiao: "This date was originally to find a spare tire. Now she has found Guan Gu. Then I am not a spare tire for the spare tire. "

Yifei: "Well, the second child for short."

Zhan Bo: "Where there is a monster, there is Altman."

Guangu: "How do I know? I have never caught a wild Altman. "

Zi Qiao: "Your eyes are clear and moving, your hands are gentle and delicate, and your heart is crystal clear."

Meijia: "Your arms are strong, your chest is broad and mighty, and your skin is invulnerable."

Zi Qiao: "Dad will sell refrigerators to Eskimos, tennis rackets to Federer and wheelchairs to football players."

Zi Qiao: "The goal is one word, fool him, repair him and scare her."

Zi Qiao: "Don't listen to the old man and die in front of me."

Zi Qiao: "I am a born actor." From small to large, I saw beautiful MM eyes are round. "

Zi Qiao: "Ladies and gentlemen"

Zi Qiao said to Zhan Bo, "Why do I feel that you are sitting here, but there are no birds in a hundred mountains and no footprints in a thousand paths?"

Xiaobo: "I have been divorced for three years, and my son is half a year old."

Yifei: "Wait, why can't I calculate this topic?"

Fairy: "They are separated by a wall, but they have never met. Because one of them is always to the left and the other is always to the left.

Take the elevator. "

Wan Yu: "Do you still play football?"

Ron Artest: "No, in this country, the fighting skills of football players are much better than their feet."

Wan Yu: "I put my car on the windowsill to collect the essence of the sun and the moon. Maybe it flew back to Cybertron. "

Zhan Bo said, "Don't lie to me."

Zhan Bo (describing his intoxicated sister): "People describe her in eight words: as quiet as a virgin and as active as a raving rabbit."

Yifei: "Failure is the mother of success"

Zhan Bo: "But I already have many mothers ..."

Meijia: "Ceng Laoshi, is there a toilet in your kitchen? Is there a stove in the toilet? :"

Meijia's classic saying: "I will kill you with a bite of salt and soda."

American-Canadian multiplication formula "177278838 Women's Day, May Day, Labor Day and Children's Day"

Zhan Bo: "I want to give the girl something. I don't know what girls like? "

Wan Yu: "Why don't you just ask your sister?"

Zhan Bo: "My sister has never been a girl!" "

Guan Gu: "I used to think that you China people were very modest, but now I find it is not."

Zhan Bo: "Why?"

Guangu "Every day on the road, I see you writing everywhere that China is good, China people are good, and China agriculture is good."

China's industry and commerce are very good, and Guangdong's development is very good. I know you are excellent in many aspects now! But you don't have to write everywhere.

Everyone! "

Yifei: "Zhan Bo and I used to be conjoined babies. Before we were two years old, our brains were still growing together. We have telepathy. "

Fairy: "Yes, and then the doctor gave all his brains to Zhan Bo."

Yifei: "The price of pork downstairs has gone up."

Zhanbo: "Then go downstairs and buy pork!" " "

Yifei: "the problem is that the announcement is posted downstairs, and pork prices all over the world have gone up." You want me to go to Mars to buy pork? "

Yifei: "The driving school expelled the self-taught novice who is good at braking from the beginning."

Yifei: "Shit, my car dares to overtake."

Zhan Bo: "Forget it, he may think we are too slow."

Yifei: "You are too slow. Why don't you become an astronaut?"? The little tree is not straight. Step on the gas and greet his ancestors. "

Eighteen generations! "

Yifei said to Xiaoxian, "A vegetable can speak better than you. Do you believe I planted you in a flowerpot? "

Fairy: "I allow you to walk around in my world, but I don't allow you to run around in my world."

Wan Yu: "Master, are we far from the city center now?"

Bus master: "It wasn't far just now, but it's quite far now."

Yifei: "I really want to slap your face in size 42 with my size 38 shoes."

Yifei: "Yes! That's right! The red carpet is 80 meters. Why am I missing 5 meters? This boss is so wicked.

Okay？ Pork prices are rising, and carpets are coming to give me short weight? Their carpet is not made of pigskin, is it? "

Meijia: "I was harassed on the internet before, but later I found it important to remember what user name." Work account, decline to chat, if you want to chat, 50 cents per word, punctuation, half price charge, more than 1000 words, 20% off voice and video has not been opened, and then online chat provides invoices. "

Yifei: "Is anyone bothering you?"

Meijia: "Of course, no one will talk to me again."

Meijia: "Roll as fast as the speed of light."

Ceng Xiaoxian: "Hello, everyone. Welcome to Little Rare Appointment. I am your good friend, Xin Xiaoxian. Ah ~ ~ ~ Yes.

Do it again? "

Wan Yu calls KFC to order food:

(Welcome to call KFC)

Wan Yu: "Hello, I want a KFC."

(What do you need)

Wan Yu: "I want a KFC."

KFC has many products. Which one do you need? )

Wan Yu: "If nothing else, I want KFC." Left eye jumps, peach blossoms bloom, right eye jumps, chrysanthemums bloom.

Just like the strong wind in spring, it blows at night, and in spring, a hundred flowers bloom.

You must call me online tonight, otherwise, I will write your name on the tablet.

I have more than a dozen different ways to die.

Life is like a play, one is in love, the other is married and has children. This is normal.

I will definitely be chopped into potato chips.

Since ancient times, no one has died, and whoever dies early will have to die late.

Now the raw rice has been cooked into porridge.

Death is not terrible, just sit back and wait.

We agree. If there are different opinions, I am responsible, and she has the final say.

God, I jumped into the sea in Japan, and I can't even wash it off.

I'm the 13th fucking sister! She is really my mother's thirteenth sister.

Your mother is amazing! That's fucking weird! Who the fuck is it?

I can't grasp his pulse. My veterinary license is a white-collar worker.

Do you think I am Baidu, can I still search for keywords?

But since the water is still flowing, although we cut it with swords, people have not repaired it.

Your youth, which has nowhere to put it, has been crucified.

Calm down, clear the cache, adjust the CPU to intelligent overclocking mode, and have a good memory.

I always thought he was a number between 1 and 3, but I didn't expect him to be a combination of 1 and 3.

Good dogs don't get in the way, roadblocks get in the way.

Meeting and parting, like a turn, turn around and turn around, become the dance of life. Some people will come back, and some people know that goodbye is too difficult.

You are more like Donnie Yen than Jet Li!

Actually, I'm a genius! It's a pity that you are jealous of talent!

Hard life needs no explanation!

How can you say that he is crazy? Only if you have a brain.

Three cobblers, Zhuge Liang stinks to death.

Well said. I said a lot, but I didn't quite understand.

Narcissism plus brain damage is self-mutilation.

A good man is me, and I am Ceng Xiaoxian.

I'm Brother Zeng. I told you about that letter. I believe me. . .

I spray you with salt and soda!

When will you hang it out to dry? Take it out for a walk another day!

Opportunities rained down on me, but I flashed by.

Baked bullfrog with heater ~

Let's face it, life is often much heavier than those idol dramas.

Help me cut the carrot into diced meat.

Only the creature standing at the top of the food chain can decide the rules of the game!

What's your situation? You can have at most one ID card.

You talk to them until midnight every day. How can they have time to create human beings?

Bet me that it's not what you want, but what I have …

Beating people does not advocate hitting the face, which hurts self-esteem.

We are brothers. As long as you dare to use violence against any one of us, the other two of us will call the police.

My Tatsu, my knife, my Tatsu, my knife, my Tatsu, my knife, my Tatsu, my knife ... "ipartment" surprised the divine comedy "uneasy"

Spitting is used to count money, not to reason.

It's a good thing it's not red wine, or my clothes will be ruined. It's a good thing it's not sulfuric acid or your face will be ruined.

Your head and ass are upside down again.

If you are driving and sitting in Xiaohong and Xiaoming Lane, who is the owner? Answer: If.

Even the "toilet paper hunger card" has no money to buy ~

You can escape the monk, but you can't escape the abbot.

Don't be infatuated with me, I'm not just a legend.

Excuse me, is your Chinese taught by a PE teacher?

I feel like they are looking at me like animals.

A gentleman can flex.

Compared with him, you are simply a gentleman.

Cut the wire with a kitchen knife, sparking and lightning all the way.

I really want to put a toilet in your head and wash away all those disgusting things in your head. Then his whole brain will be washed away.

There is no rehearsal in real life, it is live broadcast.

What she wants to cook is not a dish, but a wife.

A new generation of urban women won the hall, kitchen, Trojan horse, fence, bicycle, house, mistress and hooligan!

We are two aspiring young people standing on the street who are about to fly their ideals.

The difference between him and a pig is that a pig can't become a man, but he will become a pig from time to time.

I wanted to win glory for boys, but now it's really gone.

I am not a celebrity, I am a celebrity!

A game is a game. You don't have to be involved. If you do this, you must abide by the rules of the game and bear all the consequences.

I am not only calm now, but also my eggs hurt!

When I become emperor, I will make you a prince.

Failure is common, but I have never won.

He graduated from a school with mental retardation, right? ! I suggested that he take some hemorrhoid medicine to treat his foot-and-mouth disease.

Not only failed in love, but also abnormal in love.

Don't treat shrimp as seafood.