1. I struggled with fat and almost didn't sacrifice.
Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.
3. Explanation is cover-up, and cover-up is story-telling.
One slip and he became a big cripple, and he turned around and flashed his waist.
I don't like to tidy my room. They all call me a messy room hero.
6. A man keeps his word-I said if I don't pay back, I won't pay back!
7. Bajie, don't think you are a night pig standing under a street lamp.
8. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. Fortunately, it's autumn.
9. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams.
10. No matter how ugly you are, you should fall in love and talk about a world full of love.
1 1. I know all things must come to an end, but at least, I want to eat well at the banquet!
12. Please don't ask him to use his brain-his left brain is full of water and his right brain is full of flour, so he just moves easily and everything is paste.
13. Fools wait for death, while smart people wait for money.
14. Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the mountain, and the world has the Great Wall.
15. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, nor between love and ignorance, but between beds in winter.
16. keitel, why are you crying? Is it because your ass is too hot?
17. Women are plump, thin, slim, tall, delicate and short. Men are fat pigs, thin ribs, tall bamboo poles and short wax gourd!
18. My heart is not a bus. If there is a vacancy, I don't want you to sit down.
19. When others are holding hands, I will take my dog for a walk and swim to see who is unhappy with a bite.
20. I have always had a question in my heart. It's been 10 years, exactly 10 years. What does Big Big Wolf eat …
2 1. We should know how to cherish and protect everyone around us, because we broke our neck in our last life, so we met in this life.
22. You don't know the value of Friday afternoon unless you experience the crash on Monday morning.
23. A real warrior should dare to face up to a beautiful girl and a desolate, single person.
24. I think there must be many people who secretly love me, because for so many years, no one has confessed to me!
25. Three elements of success: persistence; Shameless; Insist on shameless. Did you do it?
26. When you are in a bad mood, go to the toilet. After you finish, you look ferocious and say to the toilet, "shit for me!" " Then flush the toilet.
27. The difference between attending classes: primary school is expensive, junior high school is expensive, high school is expensive, and university is expensive. ...
28. A person's longest love history is probably narcissism …
29. The difference between an affair and an affair is that the former is together and the latter is not together.
30. The sky is falling, you support me!
3 1. Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationship.
32. In the eyes of fools, the cleverness of smart people is worthless.
33. Money is not a problem, but no money!
34. as long as the hoe jumps well, there is a corner that can't be dug down?
35. It is difficult for rich people to have no money.
36. When you meet someone you like, you have to take the initiative to be a bitch.
37. Fat voice: Enjoy your mouth, but want to be thin in your heart.
38. I don't know much about music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.
If the teacher didn't tell us not to litter, I would throw you out.
40. Please be old and don't pull me with inferior thread in the future. It will be broken from time to time.
4 1. When I have money in the future, I will send people I hate to the best mental hospital.
42. We are cucurbits in the countryside, and you are Altman in the city.
Grandma Meng, when you make soup for me, remember to put sugar in it. I will thank you in the afterlife.
44. If someone marries me, I will blow up the divorce office immediately.
45. I mean, why don't we always know each other well? So you are especially fond of strangers.
46. From primary school to university, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to learn.
47. You should learn from others. Tencent calls me honey every time it goes online.
48. Examination: The difference between an open book and a closed book is that one is copied above and the other is copied below.
49. A letter is a letter. Don't believe it or not. You are still on wechat.
50. What is a bad guy? Men who take off their pants during the day and women who don't take off their makeup at night.
5 1. I'm not afraid to drink dichlorvos, but I'm afraid there will be surprises when I open the lid. Who should I share an extra bottle with?
As an animal, only animals in this world can beat me.
53. Why does God always doze off when I am unlucky?
54. Sometimes, I want to be "full" in my dreams.
55. Take a newspaper to the toilet. I am a scholar.
56. I will come to you in my next life, because you are the stupidest person except me.
57. When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.
58. Grandfather comes from grandson. ...
59. Women have countless QQ numbers just to flirt with a man. Men often use a QQ number to fill in all kinds of women …
60. Don't be afraid that your enemies are like tigers, but your teammates are like pigs!
6 1. When the bank charges, it says, "This is in line with international practice." When he was in service, he said, "We should consider China's national conditions."
62. Don't ask me for anything, let alone anything.
Angels can fly because they look down on themselves …
64. Hugging is really a strange thing. When we get so close, we can't see each other's faces.
65. House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men …
66. How to give MM an unforgettable birthday? Beat her up first, and then send the house certificate of the most expensive property in Guangzhou, which will be an unforgettable surprise!
67. My wife has been praising me for being lewd since she saw some photos of my girlfriend in college.
68. I spent 10,000 yuan on a pottery jar of the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously, "Which one of these is from the Western Zhou Dynasty?" This is from last week! "
69. I can't stand this kind of business-the sign says: tear it down, pay it, sell it! I threw her a down jacket, but she refused to sell it. It's too deceiving consumers!
70. Handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!
7 1. Nobody knows what just happened. I am used to covering up everything with a smile.
72. In the days when there are no women, I enjoy flirting with men …
73. A woman is like a book on the shelf. Although you bought her, before you bought her, she was more or less turned over by several men …
74. Now it seems that movies with intelligences are the most popular, and% who like these movies like watching Korean dramas!
75. Today is pi, so I want to eat pie ~
76. Korean scholars believe that the Monkey King is actually a Korean fairy, because he used a stick!
77. How to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat?
78. The goalkeeper scored a goal.
79. Praise a female classmate in person: You are really a lotus flower! !
80.how did you die? Not so poor as to die.
8 1. There is a one-dollar coin in the flower bed, but the sign next to the flower bed says, "Step into the flower bed and be fined three yuan!" It's really embarrassing.
82. If you look in the mirror and pay taxes, I'm afraid some women will go bankrupt.
83. A man wants to divorce his wife after making money, but he can't make money and his wife wants to divorce him.
84. Men's affairs are reflected in busier work, while women's affairs are reflected in pickles.
85. A woman says "hate" to you, which means she likes you. When a man says "hate" to you, he really hates you.
86. Traditional men are pure before marriage, and then they start screwing around. Modern men fool around before marriage and become honest after marriage.
87. No matter how bad the relationship between a man and his wife is, the relationship with his mother-in-law is also good; No matter how good the relationship between a woman and her husband is, the relationship with her mother-in-law is also poor.
88. Men don't make money, women are anxious, and men make money and women regret it.
89. I can't find my tie again Didn't you find a rag yesterday?
90. None of the women who participated in the beauty pageant can find a good man, because all the good men are married, such as me.
9 1. I can't help but want to smoke at the thought of the reunification of the motherland …
92. If I become an emperor, I will make you a prince!
93. Roses are very cheap. You can give them to your wife.
94. As long as the hoe dances well, what corner can't be dug down?
95. Who didn't meet two scum when he was young?
96. When robbing a bank, the robber said a wise saying: Nobody moves! Money belongs to the country, life is your own!
97. Do you feel jumping like QQ login?
98. Handsome is useless. Finally, he was eaten by a chess piece.
99. There were Ximen Qing in ancient times and Edison Chen today; The stream sees the stream and takes out its own camera.
100. To become a Edison Chen, you should bring your camera when you check in.