Democritus once said: "It is not physical strength or money that makes people happy, but justice and versatility." It can be seen that money cannot buy us real happiness. Material giving also cannot bring happiness to the family. Unilateral material provision can only "destroy a child's growth"

"No matter how hard it is, it can't hurt the child." I believe many parents are familiar with this sentence, or it has come from their own mouths, but I What I want to say is that this view is not necessarily correct.

Nowadays, as people’s family income continues to increase, children’s lives are becoming increasingly prosperous. Many parents are almost obedient to their children's requests, which also leads to the failure of many children to develop good values ??since childhood. However, in the eyes of many parents, this is a normal thing.

Should children’s distorted values ??really not be taken seriously by their parents? I believe that after reading the examples below, many parents will have the answer.

A young man in Zhijiang County, Hunan is 25 years old and fully capable of living independently, but he still asks for a large sum of money from his parents. After being rejected by his parents, the young man set fire to his parents' residence in desperation and guarded the door with a knife to prevent others from approaching to put out the fire.

Parents giving material things to their children from an early age can only meet their children's needs in the short term. Over time, children will gradually develop the idea that money can be obtained by asking for money. Not only that, the child's "appetite" will continue to increase as he grows older. When the parents can no longer bear it, the already extremely distorted parent-child relationship will collapse in an instant.

This can’t help but remind me of the fable of “destroying a seedling to encourage growth.” In order to make the seedlings grow faster, the farmer used his hands to pull up the seedlings. He never thought that the seedlings would die in pieces. Sometimes, excessive material "enrichment" can be detrimental to a child's growth, isn't it?

"It is not a shame to be without a partner, but it is a shame to be without knowledge."

This famous saying comes from the book "Yingwen" written by Zhang Heng of the Eastern Han Dynasty. He used this to advise gentlemen: Don't feel inferior to others because your salary is not high, but feel ashamed because your knowledge is not profound enough. Children's education also adheres to this principle. Momentary gains and losses cannot explain everything

In my opinion, when parents educate their children, they should downplay their children's awareness of gains and losses in some aspects. To give a simple example: the child has always been excellent in both character and academic performance in school. However, during a certain evaluation, the child was not successfully selected as one of the "Three Good Students". For the child, she has lost the title of "three good students", but in the eyes of her parents, the child's conduct is worthy of praise. Therefore, parents should downplay their children's awareness of gains and losses, and tell their children that temporary gains and losses It can't explain everything, you are still excellent.

I think this process not only dilutes the child's awareness of the gains and losses of honor at the moment, but also allows her to slowly develop correct values. She will gradually understand that not everything can be measured by price, and that things that are more important than material things are what she should pursue. So, what kind of things are more worth pursuing than material things? Abundance of thought is the way to success

Hugo once left these words for future generations: "The future will belong to two types of people: those who think and those who work. In fact, these two People are a kind of people, because thoughts are also labor. "Those who can truly control their own future are thoughtful people. Therefore, how parents guide their children to enrich their own thoughts also plays an important role.

I believe many people have heard the story of Meng’s mother’s three moves. Mencius, the great thinker, lived very close to a cemetery when he was a child. Mencius imitated how others held funerals and played a funeral game with his friends. Meng's mother moved the family for this purpose. Later, the family moved next to the market, and Mencius learned to do business and slaughter livestock. Meng's mother had no choice but to move again. Finally, Meng's mother took Mencius to move to the school. Mencius learned all kinds of etiquette, and Meng's mother settled down.

Children are in the most rapid stage of learning and growth. Children can grow up in dealing with others, and the environment will shape all kinds of people. Therefore, it is not enough to enrich the mind. Parents should create a good environment for their children so that they can be nurtured in excellent culture.

Material giving cannot exist without spiritual "enrichment"

Du Fu once wrote in a poem: "The wine and meat in Zhumen smells bad, and there are frozen bones on the road." This is what he saw when he came to Chang'an, the imperial capital. The nobles People have no worries about food and clothing, but no one has stopped the frozen corpses on the street. This shows that the abundant material life does not allow the "nobles" to see the suffering of the common people on the street outside their doors. They only covet their own enjoyment.

Different from ancient times, today’s society pursues spiritual pursuits far more than material enjoyment. People who only accept material wealth are difficult to be accepted by society. Therefore, people’s efforts in education The investment in human, material and financial resources is increasing year by year.

Parents should educate their children and would rather reduce material provision and restrain their children's desire for enjoyment, but also allow their children to be "enriched" spiritually, because the height of thought is not a towering skyscraper. The building is comparable. Give priority to giving of ideas, supplemented by giving of material things

When establishing children's values, parents should clarify the relationship between the two levels of material and ideological aspects. Only in this way can the situation of putting the cart before the horse be avoided. Materials are the basis for ideological "enrichment"

Although we are opposed to material "enrichment", material is the basis for ensuring that we are spiritually "enriched", which is something parents should face squarely.

To take the simplest example, in China in the early days of the founding of the People's Republic of China, many families had not yet solved the problem of food and clothing. It is unrealistic to expect them to be better ideologically sublimated. Therefore, some necessary material giving is indispensable. Ideological "enrichment" is a material guarantee

We often say: "It is better to teach a man how to fish than to teach him how to fish." This means that if you give a person a few fish, it is better to teach him how to fish. This metaphor also applies to parent-child education. Parents give their children "a few fish" and the children finish eating them. If the parents cannot satisfy their children's demands, the children will starve to death. But if parents teach their children how to "fish", will they still worry about not having fish to eat?

Therefore, when a child's mind is "enriched", material rewards are only a matter of time. Don't sacrifice the good and the bad just because "fishing" is not as fast as "teaching fish". Thinking is the main thing and things are the supplement.

For the establishment of children's values, parents should adhere to the educational concept of "thinking is the main thing and things are the supplement". They can neither abandon the enrichment of thoughts nor the Cut off the supply of materials. In addition, parents should focus on the two. Material giving can only solve temporary emergencies, while ideological sublimation can benefit children for life.