Interpretation: Coco

Speaking of Nokia mobile phones, I believe everyone is familiar with it. Since 1998 launched its first mobile phone, with its durable and fall-resistant features, 14 has the first market share. However, after 20 1 1 year, Nokia's market share suddenly dropped sharply, and its market value shrank to only 87% in 2007. 20 13 years, at the cocktail party acquired by Microsoft, CEO Yoma? Ollila finally said, "We didn't do anything wrong, but somehow, we lost."

We all think that Nokia failed because it didn't keep up with the times, which is the trend of the times.

However, in 20 17, European business schools conducted an in-depth investigation on Nokia's failure. By interviewing 76 senior executives and middle managers, the final conclusion is that "organizational fear is the root cause of Nokia's failure. Nokia was destroyed by leaders with distinctive personalities and middle managers who were timid and afraid to tell the truth. " And this case was organized into a typical case of business school, and the giant failed because he refused to accept the truth.

It can be seen how important it is to get the truth and let the other party accept it.

Life, work, so it is. When you talk to your family and friends, the other party can't accept the truth; You explain the facts to your leaders and colleagues, but you encounter confrontation and rejection.

So, how can we get the truth and tell the truth clearly? How to make the other side accept and understand the truth and finally reach a consensus?

The book "Speaking with Facts" will uncover the fog and restore the truth for us. Let's go into "speaking with facts".

Mark, the author of this book? Murphy, an expert in the top 30 global leaders and the founder of "Leadership IQ", has provided advice to more than 654.38+million entrepreneurs, covering almost all industries and half of Fortune 500 companies. He is called "employee engagement expert" by Fortune, Forbes, Business Weekly, Washington post and other well-known media.

Speaking with facts is a book focusing on facts. By analyzing the factors that affect the acquisition of truth, the author starts with the skills of finding and paying attention to facts, so as to let everyone know how to tell the truth, thus helping us to avoid communication barriers, promote interpersonal harmony and achieve a win-win situation.

Well, after introducing the basic situation of this book and the author's brief introduction, let's share three key contents in the book: the reasons that prevent us from admitting and accepting the truth; How to get the conversation back to reality; What problems should we pay attention to in genuine dialogue?

First, let's look at the first important content.

1, the reason why we are unwilling to admit and accept the truth

The author thinks that ignorance, self-confidence, perceptual differences, psychological conflicts and conflicts of interest are the main reasons that hinder us from recognizing and accepting the truth, and are also called the four truth killers.

Let's see how the four truth killers work.

Then look at the first truth killer, ignorant and confident. The so-called ignorance and self-confidence is a kind of cognitive prejudice, which stems from people's lack of ability in some aspects, but they can't realize their own problems and are blindly confident.

Mark? Twain once said, "If you don't understand things, you will naturally be more careful. Most of the troubles are things you think you know. " This sentence describes ignorance and self-confidence very aptly.

In this book, a group of college students took a grammar test. Subjects should not only give their own comments, but also compare their peers' grammar level with their own. As a result, some people did well in the exam, while others did poorly. However, students who do badly in the exam will think that they just lack grammar skills, and they don't think that they don't know grammar.

This phenomenon is also called Deng Ning-Kruger effect. Simple understanding, the more ignorant people are, the less they know they are ignorant.

Then look at the second truth killer, perception difference. The so-called perceptual difference means that the same thing is seen by different people and the result is completely different. The difference in perception is related to academic qualifications and different positions on things.

The author made an experiment, by shooting the video of the reception of guests at the front desk of the hotel late at night, showing it to 50 hotel managers and foremen respectively, so that they could evaluate the performance of the front desk.

A group of people spoke highly of the front desk. They create a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere for their guests, chat with them and be kind and natural to them.

There are also a group of people who have a poor evaluation of the front desk. It's late at night, the guest is tired, still chatting with the guest, and the guest is still frowning.

It can be seen that even if it is the same thing, everyone's perception of appearance is different, so the understanding will be different.

Here comes the third truth killer, psychological resistance. The so-called psychological conflict is a cognitive dissonance, also known as cognitive disharmony. When facts and cognition are inconsistent, most people find a reasonable explanation for themselves.

Story foxes can't eat grapes. "Grapes are delicious. I want to eat them." This is cognition, but in the end, it is inedible. There is a difference between cognition and result. The fox is in pain and needs to reconcile this cognition. So it found a reasonable explanation for itself: grapes are sour, so don't eat them. In this way, the fox's psychology is balanced.

Cognitive dissonance can be seen everywhere at work. For example, the superior assigned a job to an employee and finally said that she didn't do it well. She denied it, and it was painful, but she felt that she had done a good job, so she found a reason to prove that she was right, so as to ensure that her cognition would not be unbalanced.

Finally, let me talk about the fourth truth killer, conflict of interest. Speaking of conflicts of interest, Upton. Sinclair famously said, "It is difficult for people to understand something, especially when his salary depends on something he doesn't understand." This sentence is a good interpretation of the role of interests.

Author elaborated 198 1 year, 3 1 year, Barry? Marshall found that Helicobacter pylori was the chief culprit of gastric ulcer, but it took 23 years to prove it. There is a simple reason. His research conflicts with the interests of pharmaceutical companies.

Before it was confirmed, a large number of manufacturers had produced drugs for treating gastric ulcer, which were expensive but ineffective. In addition, the initial production investment, channel development and prescription doctors of pharmaceutical companies will never allow you to be right. In the face of interests, they choose conflict.

The above is the first key content of this book. Ignorance and self-confidence, differences in perception, psychological conflicts and conflicts of interest are all misunderstandings that prevent us from admitting and accepting the truth. Only by understanding its influence can we focus on the truth better. Get rid of the fog and let's go back to the truth. Next, let's enter the second key content.

2. How to get the conversation back to reality?

How to make the conversation return to the truth will be expounded from four aspects: setting effective goals, focusing on facts, empathy and creating text pictures.

First, set an effective goal.

Setting effective goals can let you know or let you not know. Say what you want, do what you want, and ensure that the goal is not distorted from what you say to what you do.

Before setting an effective goal, let's take a look at what an invalid goal is. For example, I need an apology, I want you to admit that you are wrong, and I want you to feel sorry for what you have done. These are all emotional catharsis, which has no significance for promoting truth dialogue.

The author points out that setting effective goals should follow the principle of "six months later", which will help to establish your conversation goals.

For example, if you want to reconcile with a nervous colleague, you can't expect to meet your expectations in one conversation. You can set it like this, "What kind of relationship do I want us to develop in six months? What do I want to change? what would i like to do ? What do I want my true partner to do? "

Follow the principle of "six months later", put the other person in the future world, look at the problem with a future perspective, separate emotional stress from the current environment, and reduce negative emotions. Such a goal is scientific and constructive.

Second, pay attention to facts. The author suggests using the FIRE (fact, explanation, reaction and result) model to separate facts.

Facts are reality, real things, with the characteristics of objectivity, independence, impartiality, ruthlessness and timeliness.

Explain and interpret the event, so as to get the purpose or significance of this fact. The interpretation of differences is related to personal experience and education level.

Reaction, according to the result of explanation. Overreaction is not caused by facts, but by misinterpretation of facts.

The result is an expected result after an emotional reaction.

If your employees are "five minutes late" and "five minutes late" is a fact, the brain begins to interpret it and give it meaning. If you have a tense relationship with the employee, it will affect the positive interpretation of the brain. Interpret the fact of being "5 minutes late" as the employee is lazy and selfish, and she is too lazy to set the alarm clock. The emotional reaction is that I am angry. What you expect is that this poor employee sends you a message every morning to let her go to work on time every day.

The author suggests that if there is a problem, the facts, explanations, reactions and results should be made into a four-quadrant table and placed in the corresponding quadrant, so that the facts can be separated from the explanations, reactions and results quickly and effectively, and the emphasis should be placed on the facts.

Again, put yourself in others' shoes. The great American philosopher George? Herbert? Meade called empathy "thinking from the perspective of others and observing yourself."

The case of therapists helping alcoholics stop drinking in the book also illustrates the role of empathy.

An alcoholic came to consult. After passing the questionnaire and alcohol test, the therapist said, "People who drink more than 90% need treatment." Therapists often say that when the accident is real, it is difficult for alcoholics to accept the fact. The drunkard said, "I didn't drink too much, did I?" At this time, the therapist's reaction determines whether the person will do treatment or not. Let's look at the following two statements.

One said, "There is nothing wrong with data analysis. If you don't believe me, do it again. Besides, don't you know how much you have drunk? "

The other said, "I can see that the result may surprise you, but I don't think it's what you expected."

The first therapist, to tell the truth, speaks with data and talks about things without considering each other's feelings at all. This result can only lead people who want to quit drinking to leave.

The second therapist, empathizing, understands the feelings of others and resonates with emotions without judgment. Later, I found that the number of people who told him to give up drinking increased greatly.

When the other person is surprised and disappointed, you might as well put yourself in his shoes and understand him, so that the other person's mood can be relieved, so that you can open your heart and get the truth more easily.

Finally, create a text screen. By telling the story of six blind people touching an elephant, the author points out that when people have different definitions of truth, there will definitely be arguments.

Words and pictures can turn abstract concepts into concrete examples, which is convenient for everyone to reach a consensus. It includes three elements: poor, good and excellent.

For example, if you say that employees have poor communication skills, it is abstract. Employees don't know what is good communication and what is bad communication, and there is no standard.

Then, by creating text images, with standards, we can not only know the previous mistakes, the mistakes we are making and why we made them, but also know the correct way. The most important thing is that employees suddenly wake up during the conversation and form a corrective leap. Often you don't need to tell too many facts.

By setting an effective goal first, separating facts with the help of fire tools, putting yourself in the conversation, and with the help of words and pictures, employees can finally form a corrective leap, find problems by themselves and find ways to solve them.

By doing the above, can you get the truth of the conversation? The answer is, not necessarily. Because, in the process of conversation, there are still some problems to pay attention to. This is the third important content to be said next.

3. What other issues should we pay attention to when telling the truth?

First, learn to listen. Listening means closing your mouth, pricking up your ears and turning your brain. The quality of listening will directly affect the quality of speaking.

Secondly, soften the problem. For example, a five-minute conversation is 50 minutes; The meeting deviated from the subject; You have seen the same thing happen many times; You often mediate other people's contradictions. These signs remind you that you are softening the problem, revealing the facts insufficiently, and you will not get the expected results.

The other side of softening is strengthening. For example, as soon as you enter the room, everyone stops talking; You give advice, but your subordinates don't say a word; Your speech accounted for more than 60% of the meeting time. These signs show that you are too harsh and aggressive, and you can't get the expected results.

Also, weird. The author points out that telling the truth is not to make the wrongdoer feel uncomfortable, and the focus should be on solving the problem, not just blaming.

Finally, don't interrupt the conversation at will, don't play with your mobile phone, etc. , will bring harm to communication.

This is the third key content of this book.

Speaking of which, let's call it a day Briefly summarize what we shared today.

First of all, we talked about the reasons why we are unwilling to admit and accept the truth.

Secondly, we talked about how to bring the conversation back to the truth.

Finally, we talked about what problems should be paid attention to in the true dialogue.

In short, in life and work, we can always encounter some difficult situations that need to be communicated. If time permits, first discuss the differences between the two sides with the truth partner, set effective communication goals by analyzing four misunderstandings, and then use the fire tool to separate the facts. In this process, we should put ourselves in the shoes and find a leap of correction with the help of words and images, so that the parties can perceive the status quo and make clear the desired results.

If you don't have much time to think, you should also keep your emotions calm and give the other person a spiritual space to calm down, so it is easier to get the truth.

Well, all of the above can make a dialogue of truth fall to the ground, and everyone can practice.

Let the facts speak for themselves and see the truth, and everyone will be responsible for his own life.