Yayyoi Kusama didn’t know which wall she drilled a hole in.

She caught a glimpse of a certain gesture or back view of the creator.

From then on, she Posted on this wall,

look back and hope between the two worlds.

"The Queen of Art in the Mental Sanatorium" and "The Queen of Polka Dots"...

These are Yayoi Kusama in the eyes of others. Behind the great achievements is the unknown pain.

01 "The earth is just one of millions of dots"

"The earth is just one of millions of dots" Yayoi Kusama always likes to say , she has been troubled by hallucinations and auditory hallucinations since she was 10 years old. She was overwhelmed at a young age and once wanted to commit suicide. Later, Yayoi Kusama tried to record the world in front of her with a paintbrush, viewing the spots as cells and molecules of the world, or signals from the universe and nature. "In the face of fear, in addition to being afraid, you can also use it." Every time she draws her illusions, Kusama will gain inner peace.

02 Crossing the Mountains to Touch the Outside World

1955 was a huge turning point in Yayoi Kusama’s life. By chance, she discovered the American female painter Georgia O’Keeffe in a bookstore Yayoi Kusama, who did not understand English yet, begged her cousin who knew English to help her correspond with O'Keeffe. The letter wrote: I have just started on the road of art, and I implore you to guide me. O'Keeffe readily agreed.

In 1957, Yayoi Kusama rushed to the United States as soon as she got her visa. Her angry mother told her to never set foot in the house before she left. However, Yayoi Kusama left without hesitation because she clearly understood that at that time Japan has a closed mind and the low status of women, unable to provide suitable soil for their art. “I knew very clearly at that time that if I wanted to go further in art, I had to cross the mountain of my hometown to touch the outside world.”

03 From Seattle to New York, she lives by art

Yayoi Kusama’s works were quickly recognized in Seattle, and she was not satisfied with this. She came to New York and stood on the top floor of the Empire State Building, hoping to conquer the city with her passion for art and huge creativity.

During that time, Yayoi Kusama shuttled back and forth between the city's galleries with her paintings. If she was woken up by the cold in the middle of the night in her rented apartment, she would paint until dawn. She recalled her experience of loneliness and poverty in her later novel "Foxgloves in Central Park": I picked up fish heads and discarded rotten vegetable leaves from the garbage baskets on the street, and used these ingredients to make a bowl of hot soup.

Compared to other artists, Yayoi Kusama was lucky. Such days only lasted eighteen months. In 1959, eighteen months after arriving in New York, Yayoi Kusama created "Infinite Net" which aroused enthusiastic response. After holding a series of exhibitions such as "The Thousand Ships Party" and "Anti-War", Yayoi Kusama began her golden age in New York.

04Tearing and calmness - the key words of her works

At first glance, I don’t think there is anything unique about Yayoi Kusama’s works. Only when you look closely can you feel the crazy tones. The calmness,

Her works are full of tearing pain,

She pours all her pain and creativity into the works,

Almost Selfless, unable to pull away.

05 “If it weren’t for creation, I would have committed suicide long ago”

The year after the death of her spiritual partner Joseph Cornell, Yayoi Kusama returned to Tokyo from New York , escaped from the public eye and lived in a mental sanatorium for forty years. She lives a life of near isolation from the world, without a computer or mobile phone, and rarely receives visitors. During the day, he goes to the studio next to the sanatorium to create, and at night he returns to the sanatorium to rest.

She spends more than eight hours creating every day. She is like a fragile object, and art is the cotton wrapped around the fragile object. She emphasizes: My life, every day I live, must be Related to art.

06 A child immersed in art

Yayoi Kusama is over ninety years old, but she seems to be no different from when she was young. With an exaggerated bob and wearing clothes with iconic polka dots, he still looks like an indifferent child with extraordinary persistence and energy for his beloved art.

She said that she wanted to have a wonderful relationship. She said that she was not old and would always be young. She said confidently and arrogantly: I feel that no one is more talented than me. I have always regarded I spent all my time on art, and used all my original thoughts and ideas on works that represented Yayoi Kusama.

A sudden epidemic disrupted people’s lives.

As an art leader, Yayoi Kusama also published a poem for this:

Let us *** March forward together

With deep love and the efforts of people all over the world

I hope that this wish can be realized

For the new models that hinder us Coronavirus

I said: disappear from the earth

Let’s fight together

This weird mother-in-law uses art to suppress her pain,

Text丨Ding Ding

Editor丨Ding Ding

The pictures are all from the Internet