Previously, a Pinduoduo (and Xixi?) employee died suddenly while working overtime late at night. Later, a delivery man collapsed while delivering food. As the author was typing, there was still "" on the hot list News that another Pinduoduo employee committed suicide by jumping off a building. In recent days, news has emerged one after another that young people "dedicate themselves to their careers and die", which is really sad.
In sharp contrast, Xiao Jiang, a 2020 graduate of Shanghai Shentong, still refused the meaningless 996 overtime requested by his supervisor even though he knew that he might be fired.
It seems that since the establishment of industrial society, persistence, especially persistence in the face of difficulties, has become so highly regarded that sometimes we forget that there is actually another option; at the same time, we Also forgetting how to not equate yourself with failure when you turn to letting go.
From "You will win if you work hard", to "No one can succeed casually", to "As long as you can't die, work hard" - slogans that encourage people to strive for progress can be seen everywhere - — Even Malcolm Gladwell’s “10,000-Hour Rule” claims that achievement in a field can only be achieved after decades of hard practice.
However, in the process of working hard for your career, pursuing performance, and paying for love, how many times have you heard someone suggest, "You have tried your best - now it is time to let go"?
Think about it again, how many times have you just wasted your blood, sweat and tears?
Maybe you have been emotionally and/or financially overwhelmed by this, but you still can’t make up your mind to quit.
Why is this happening?
If you know something about psychology or economics, you may have heard of the concept of "sunk costs".
Sunk costs can cause us to have decision-making biases - after we have invested resources in something or someone, in order not to let the previous efforts go to waste, we devote more time to it. Money, energy, etc.
It’s hard not to be affected by it.
Whether the risk behind it is high (like continuing to pour money and energy into an unsuccessful project) or low (like forcing yourself to finish a tasteless salad just because it’s expensive) ).
Once sunk costs are involved, due to human nature, it is usually difficult for us to let go.
Why do humans have such an evolutionary setup? Researchers speculate that this may be to avoid wasting precious resources.
When you look at it from the perspective of scarcity, you will find that such a setup is not without benefit - if resources are limited and you have already invested a lot in it, then it is best to Keep up the hard work in the hope of getting something in return, but when the investment reaches a certain critical point, this logic becomes difficult to continue to hold.
For example, it might seem like a shame to part ways with a long-time partner, but it would also be a waste to continue trying in vain to repair the relationship.
And from a certain perspective, continuing to get along is actually a waste of time. Ending a relationship that seems to be distant and emotionally exhausted can make room and opportunities for trying to build a new relationship again.
What’s even more unfortunate is that due to the influence of popular culture, too many people have oversimplified the workplace/love field with the battlefield, and the much-disdained concept of "deserter" is so deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. So much so that a considerable number of people would rather hold on to the end than dare to quit.
What should we do when we find ourselves in this situation?
The following are 5 methods for reference:
In this era, from Peppa Pig to traffic idols, everyone is advocating to never give up. Perhaps the most explicit quote about never giving up in modern society dates back to Winston Churchill.
It is said that one of his original words was "Never, never, never give up" (editor's note).
But it turns out that Churchill’s words were taken out of context.
What he really said was, "Never, never, never, never give in to anything—no matter how big or small—unless it is out of belief in honor and reason." (Never, never, never, never——in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.)
In fact, in today's era, the meaning of "giving up" Ideas seem to have been regarded as a kind of deviance by default, so much so that we often ignore that knowing how to advance and retreat and knowing gains and losses are actually valuable qualities.
Perhaps "never give up" should not be regarded as an unbreakable universal truth - especially when your body has already sent a stop signal, letting go may be a wiser choice.
Sometimes, it's right to go with your feelings.
But sometimes, feeling is not enough, especially when sunk costs are involved.
So, bypass your gut for a moment and calculate the trade-offs of continuing, as well as the trade-offs that might be associated with quitting right now—this concise list of pros and cons can help you focus on the often-forgotten , the opportunity cost of fighting to the end.
A study published in the prestigious journal Psychological Science found that young people are more susceptible to "sunk costs" than older people.
Overall, young people pay more attention to negative cues—such as losses—than positive cues. And the decisions of older adults often reflect a more balanced attitude toward gains and losses.
This research suggests that as we age, we may become wiser and more prudent, learning how to better invest our resources. In short, sometimes it is a wiser and more mature choice to stop losses in time.
Leaving aside factors such as sunk costs, the reason why we resist quitting despite difficulties is largely because of the fear of failure.
We have been socialized to view unachievable goals as failures.
If the goal is externally visible, such as a happy marriage or a successful career, it is even more difficult to achieve the right advance and retreat.
Ending a relationship or a project, especially if you were committed to it from the beginning, can be a difficult choice.
Therefore, give yourself some time and space to digest these material and spiritual losses, and then think about it from another perspective: If it can bring you growth and push you forward, it is not a failure, but a failure. You have relieved the burden you have been carrying, giving you the opportunity to make a reduction in your life, turn a new page, travel lightly, make better plans for the future, move on, and thrive...
Yes Sometimes life will throw you unexpected situations where you have no way to save yourself. For example, you might have your heart set on opening a hot pot restaurant, but maybe you open just as the virus is raging around the world, your landlord has just doubled your rent, and local gas prices are rising.
Can you reverse this?
Highly unlikely.
You may feel like a failure, but some things are caused by a combination of circumstances and have nothing to do with your ability, willpower or personality, and you don’t need to blame yourself for it.
Final words
In our long and short life, we will inevitably encounter some situations that are made by fate, and many people lack sufficient wisdom and judgment, and suffer from sunk costs. The strong man who could not be manipulated had his wrist cut off.
Therefore, if you are able to retreat despite difficulties in something, can you regard yourself as a winner in the matter of "stopping losses in time"?
All in all, you did not have the information you have now. Moreover, you do not have the ability to predict the future. But now that you have enough information, experience and some wisdom, I believe you will have a more comprehensive judgment on how to deal with sunk costs and re-plan the future direction.
Additional reading:
1. Hayes, Smith. (2020). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (translated by Zhu Zhuohong, Wei Zhen, Cao Jing). Chongqing: Chongqing University Press.
2. Hendriksen, E. (2019). 7 Reasons to Feel Confident About Throwing in the Towel. PsychologyToday.