It's an excerpt from Lu Xun's This Is Life, (selected from Lu Xun's Complete Works-Qiejie Pavilion Essays)

It's also a disease.

there are some things that healthy people or patients don't think, maybe they don't meet, maybe they are too subtle. When you recover from a serious illness, you will experience it; For me, the horror of fatigue and the comfort of rest are two good examples. I used to be conceited and never knew the so-called fatigue.

There is a round chair in front of the desk. Sitting and writing or reading attentively is work. There is a rattan lounge chair next to it, which means resting by chatting or reading newspapers at will; I don't think there is much difference between the two, and I tend to be conceited. Now I know that it is wrong, so there is no big difference, but because I am not tired, that is, I have not worked hard.

I have a relative's child. After graduating from high school, he had to work as an apprentice in a sock factory. His mood was already very unhappy, and his work was very heavy, and he had no rest almost all year round. He was so tall that he refused to be lazy and supported him for more than a year. One day, he suddenly sat down and said to his brother, "I have no strength at all."

From then on, he couldn't stand up, sent home, lay down, didn't want to eat, didn't want to move, didn't want to talk, and invited doctors from Jesus Church to see him, saying that all of them were not sick, but all of them were tired. There is no way to cure it. Naturally, the connection comes with a quiet death. I once had such a situation for two days, but for different reasons, he was tired of doing it and I was sick.

I really don't have any desire. It seems that everything has nothing to do with me. All actions are eventful. I didn't think of death, but I didn't feel alive. This is the so-called "state of no desire" and the first step of death.

Someone who loved me once shed tears in secret; However, I have changed for the better. I want to drink some soup. I sometimes look at things around me, such as walls and flies. Only then can I feel tired and need a rest.

It's a great pleasure to lie down with your heart bent, stretch your limbs, yawn loudly, put all the people in the right position, and then relax all the hard points. I've never enjoyed it before. I don't think the strong or the blessed have ever enjoyed it.

I remember that the year before last, after my illness, I wrote a miscellaneous talk after my illness, with five sections, which I contributed to Literature, but the last four sections could not be published, and only the first section was printed. Although there is a word "one" in front of the article, it suddenly stops afterwards, and there is no "two" or "three". It will be strange if you think about it carefully, but this cannot be required of every reader, or even expected of critics.

So according to this section, someone came to my conclusion: "Lu Xun is in favor of getting sick." This kind of disaster may be avoided for the time being, but I might as well state here first: "My words are not over here."

four or five nights after my turnaround, I woke up and called Guangping.

"give me some water. And turn on the light and show it to me. "

"why? ..... "Her voice was a little panicked, probably thinking that I was talking stupidly.

"because I want to live. Do you understand? This is life too. I want to look at it. "

"Oh ..." She walked up, gave me a few sips of tea, lingered for a while, and then gently lay down, not turning on the light.

I know she didn't understand me.

The light of the street lamp came in through the window, and the room was faintly bright. At first glance, I found that the familiar wall, the ridge line at the end of the wall, the familiar pile of books, the unsorted photo album by the pile, the night going on outside, the endless distance and countless people were all related to me. I exist, I'm living, I'm going to live, I'm beginning to feel more practical, I have the desire to act-but soon I fell asleep again.

The next morning, I looked in the sunlight, and sure enough, the familiar walls, the familiar piles of books ... these, which I often look at in peacetime, are actually counted as a kind of rest. But we have always looked down upon these things, even though they are a part of our lives, they rank second to drinking tea and scratching, or they are nothing at all. What we pay attention to is the special essence, not in the branches and leaves.

people who preach to celebrities generally exaggerate their characteristics, such as how Li Bai writes poems and plays tricks, how Napoleon fights and how he doesn't sleep, but they don't say how they don't play tricks and want to sleep. In fact, you can't live if you play tricks or don't sleep in your life. Sometimes people can play tricks and don't sleep, just because sometimes they don't play tricks and sleep.

however, people think that these ordinary things are the dregs of life and don't look at them.

So people or things you see are like a blind man touching an elephant and touching his feet, which means that the elephant looks like a pillar. The ancients in China often wanted to get it all, that is, to make "Wuji Baifeng Pill" for women, and also to put the whole chicken in the pill even with its hair and blood. The method is ridiculous, but the idea is good.

people who cut off branches and leaves decide not to get flowers and fruits.

In order not to turn on the light for me, I was very dissatisfied with Guangping, and I attacked everyone. When I was able to walk around, I went to look through the publications she read. Sure enough, during my illness, there were a lot of publications full of essences. Although some things were still "beauty tips", "ancient trees glow" or "the secret of nuns", there were always a little passionate articles on the first side.

The composition has a "central theme": Even Sai Jinhua, who slept with German commander Vadexi for some time in the boxer era, has already been named the nine-day empress for protecting the country.

What is particularly shocking is that the Spring and Autumn Annals in Shenbao, which used the Imperial Fragrance and Vague Records to tell the court of the Qing Dynasty with relish, has also been quite different from time to time. One day, in Didi at the end of the volume, people should also think of the fragmentation of our land when eating watermelon, just like this watermelon.

naturally, this is unpatriotic and unobjectionable. But if I think like this and eat watermelon at the same time, I'm afraid I can't swallow it. Even if I swallow it hard, I can't digest it, and it will thump in my stomach for a long time.

This is not necessarily because of my neurasthenia after my illness. I think, if compared with watermelon, I have talked about the national humiliation handout, but immediately I will happily eat this watermelon and become a flesh-and-blood nutrition person, I am afraid this person is a little numb. No matter what lecture notes are given to him, they are useless.

I have never been a volunteer, so I can't say for sure. But I ask myself: if a soldier eats watermelon, is it a ritual to eat and think at the same time? I think: not necessarily. He probably only feels thirsty, wants to eat, and tastes good, but he doesn't think of any other good truths.

After eating watermelon, I feel refreshed, and fighting is different from when my throat is dry and my tongue is open. Therefore, eating watermelon does have something to do with resisting the enemy, but it has nothing to do with the strategy set by Shanghai. So sad all day to eat and drink, not long after, the appetite will fall, and there is no enemy to fight.

However, people often like to say strange things, and even a watermelon won't advocate ordinary eating. In fact, the daily life of a soldier is not all touching, but it is all related to the touching part. This is the actual soldier. (This article is included in the Collection of Essays in Jiejieting)

Extended information:

In the 14th year of the Republic of China (1925), the "Women's Normal University Tide" was further upgraded, and Lu Xun was relieved of his post as a eunuch by Zhang Shizhao, the chief education officer, for supporting the just struggle of progressive students. In the same year, Lu Xun sued Zhang Shizhao to Pingzhengyuan.

in the 15th year of the Republic of China (1926), in March, the "March 18th Massacre" occurred. In April, Lu Xun wrote "Death" and "Remembering Liu Hezhen Jun" and attacked the Duan Qirui government for killing students. He was hunted down and took refuge in Yamamoto Hospital. I kept writing during my refuge. In August, "Wandering" was published, and he went to Xiamen University as a professor of Chinese literature. Resigned in December. ?

in the 16th year of the Republic of China (1927), he went to teach at Sun Yat-sen University in January. In March, I met with Chen Yannian, secretary of Guangdong and Guangxi District Committee. On April 1st, he went to Huangpu Military Academy to give a speech "Literature in the Revolutionary Era". On the 12th, a "April 12th counter-revolutionary coup" took place. On the 29th, he rescued the progressive students and resigned angrily. In August, the relationship between Wei and Jin demeanor and articles and medicine and wine was published.

In September, he wrote to Tai Jingnong, refused to be a candidate for Nobel Prize in Literature, left Guangzhou for Shanghai, and began to live together with Xu Guangping in Shanghai. In December, there was a dispute with Liang Shiqiu and others about "the third kind of person" and "free person", which lasted for a long time and had a great influence.

In the seventeenth year of the Republic of China (1928), he joined the China Revolutionary Freemasonry in the spring. This year, we started a debate with most members of the Creation Society and Sun Society on the issue of "revolutionary literature". It was in 1998 that a large number of Marxist works were collected and translated. At the same time, he began to advocate revolutionary art and modern woodcut movement. ?

in the 18th year of the Republic of China (1929), on September 27th, Xu Guangping gave birth, and Lu Xun named him "Zhou Haiying". At the end of the year, he negotiated with Feng Xuefeng many times to form the "China Left-wing Writers Union."