There is a saying going viral on the Internet, "If you don't force your children, life will force them in the future!" It is said that it was said by Dong Qing. In fact, Dong Qing's original words were not like this. The original words were "Educating children When you were young, you chose to make money instead of disciplining your children. When your children grow up, the money you have worked hard to earn for a lifetime will not be able to compete with him losing money in one year." The reason why it has been misunderstood by many netizens is that it has become more and more popular. More and more parents believe that forcing their children to study can help them become talented, while blind indulgence will only make them suffer in life in the future. Therefore, parents would rather force their children to study hard when they are young than to have their children suffer hardship due to the pressure of life in the future.
In fact, today’s children do have a heavy workload. Not only do they need to complete various homework assigned by the school, but there are also various interest classes and tutoring classes waiting for them. Their small shoulders bear a huge burden. But we still need to understand a few truths to see if it is useful for parents to push like this: first, whether forcing can promote children's success; second, whether forcing can be reduced and instead improved by improving children's interests and abilities to promote their success; The third is whether the harder the road to study is, the greater the achievements will be in the future; the fourth is whether forcing children will be counterproductive, leading to distortion of children's personalities and aversion to learning.
The above issues require attention. If they are mastered well, children can become talented even if they are not forced; if they are not mastered well, they will be harmful to the growth of children.
1. Can children become talented if they rely on parental pressure?
There are many factors that determine whether a child can become a talented person, such as the child’s interests and talents, the guidance of parents, the teachings of teachers, and the influence of the social environment... Throughout ancient and modern times, at home and abroad, anyone who has achieved something has definitely achieved something. It's not just forced by parents, but a combination of multiple factors. Let’s talk about the word force again. Force is naturally to use some coercive means to make others do things against their own wishes. When parents force their children, they first consider their own ideas instead of starting from the child’s perspective, which will arouse their rebellious emotions. .
2. Interest is more conducive to children's success than force.
Regarding this point, we don't need to look at celebrities, just look at the people around us and we can find that people who love to draw In the future, someone who loves writing will become a writer, and a girl who loves beauty will become a makeup artist... Anyone who can achieve something professionally has nothing more than two things to do, one is interest, and the other is ability. In fact, interest is the best teacher and the best ability. As long as you have interest in everything, you will have motivation, and you can persevere and strive for success in the future.
3. Does it mean that the harder you study, the greater your achievements?
When many adults force their children to study, they just follow the mentality that the more they pay, the more they will get. Whenever they force When children learn, they feel much more at ease. In fact, adults don't need to do this. As long as you find the right way and method, you can teach your children in accordance with their aptitude. Even if you don't force your children, they will give you a surprise in return. If persecution is blind and does not take into account objective reality, it will be in vain and even counterproductive. It will not only not help children grow up, but will harm them.
4. Forcing children for a long time is counterproductive
If parents force their children for a long time, firstly, it will cause the children to become tired of learning; secondly, it will lead to a weak family relationship and affect the relationship between parents and children; thirdly, it will make the children The character becomes cowardly, inferior, violent, and ignores self-emotions and interests. If parents want their children to become talented, they should help their children find their own interests and strengths, and encourage them to persist for a long time. Only by tasting the sweetness can they be more conscious, and naturally it will be easier for them to become talented!