In modern society, the pace of life is accelerating and competition is becoming increasingly fierce. After many children are born, grandparents become the "main force" in raising children. Intergenerational parenting has become a new family model in our country.
While "separated generational parenting" brings convenience to young mothers' work and life, the conflicting upbringing concepts, uncomfortable living habits, and different personalities between grandparents and parents have made many originally simple family problems more and more complicated. Surveys show that half of families today have children raised by their grandparents, and two-thirds of the families with inter-generational parenting have differences in their ideas and methods of raising children. Family education is an indispensable educational element for children's healthy growth. What are the pros and cons of intergenerational education? How to find a balance between happiness and conflict?
How to achieve a win-win situation in intergenerational parenting?
Text: Zhao Yingying, researcher at the Curriculum Department of the Institute of Child Development and Family Education, Faculty of Education, Beijing Normal University.
As the family structure changes, family relationships also change. The ancestors, the highest "authority" given by family ethics, become "affiliates" of the nuclear family. How do the three generations get along with each other in the new changes, and how do they establish a new family order?
An “all-round view” of diversified family structures
Scene 1:
Parents’ hysteria:
Listen to me when it comes to raising children scientifically, Chen Years of experience aside
If you ask young parents, what drives you crazy the most when it comes to old people raising children? Nine times out of ten, they will answer - the old man is too doting on his children, over-protective, and nagging. Not only do they have no common sense in scientific parenting, but they also refuse to communicate and are stubborn and unchangeable. Whether it is cultural knowledge or parenting concepts, parents born in the 80s and 90s are hugely different from their ancestors born in the 60s and 70s. Young parents believe in "science", while their ancestors believe in "experience". In daily parenting, inconsistent understandings will inevitably lead to accumulation and escalation of conflicts.
A mother described her relationship with her mother-in-law in her own parenting confusion:
"In our family, this conversation happens 100 times a day - 'Mom, baby Now is the time to develop eating habits. Stop feeding and let him eat by himself! ''Mom, the baby is overweight now, don't give him chocolate! ''Mom, now is the time for the baby to develop concentration. , stop teasing him, let him play by himself.' I am both grateful and angry at my mother-in-law for helping to take care of the child - she doesn't understand scientific parenting at all, and she doesn't understand that children's cognitive, motor, and psychological development must be guided. . She refuses to listen every time and doesn’t change her words. I’m really worried that my child will be fooled by her!”
If the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is unfamiliar, which leads to serious conflicts in their lives, then what’s the difference? Can conflicts be avoided when getting along with one's biological parents? Another mother described her grandpa’s daily life with her baby this way:
“I’m going to be so angry! My dad actually let his baby watch TV for 2 hours. I told him yesterday that he could only watch TV for 1 hour. ! In the past few days, I have also heard my father talking to his children: 'Your parents spent so much money to buy a house in the school district for you, how can you be worthy of them if you don't obey!' When the children disobey, my father actually scolds the children.' Selfish and greedy. Oh my god! How can such serious words be applied to a child who is only 4 years old! The child's education must be based on encouragement, and the education cannot be suppressed like this. He is still feeling angry these days. Withered, my heart is bleeding. ”
Scene 2:
The sad tears of the old man: Trying to match up with people, things and money, but it makes people dislike him everywhere
Are the ancestors who “enjoy” their descendants living happily? The answer seems hazy. A limerick that was once popular in the circle of friends expresses the grievances in the heart of the old man -
"Raise children, get married, have babies, and then see grandchildren. Get up at five in the morning, wash hands, wipe face, and do hygiene . I cooked vegetables and steamed egg custard, and my son and daughter were still asleep. I didn’t wake up until it was too late. They woke up slowly, played with their mobile phones, and finished washing and putting on their clothes. It only took ten minutes for them to eat. . He threw away the bowl and chopsticks and turned around, saying that he was in a hurry to go to work. He sent his children away to wash the dishes and waited for his grandson to wake up naturally. ”
In inter-generational parenting, grandparents (mostly grandmothers or grandmothers) come to their children’s homes and take on the role of 24-hour nanny: three meals a day, laundry and dishes, cleaning, Kitchen shopping, all the time. Not only that, the old people also infiltrate their deep love into every corner of their children - stuffed toys hide dust, building blocks have corners so they won't knock their mouths, the floor is too hard and they fall, and they chase after food when it's not eaten...the old people I want to give all my love to my children and grandchildren without reservation, but sometimes this kind of love that is almost suffocating keeps parents and children at arm's length - they just want to be served, not controlled.
Scene 3:
The children are at a loss: their mother and grandmother often quarrel, and their father is silent
How do the children who "enjoy" the double care feel internally? ? The answer cannot be generalized.
A first-grade primary school student once asked such a series of questions in his diary:
"The teacher teaches us to be filial to our parents, but isn't grandma his dad's mother? Why can mom yell at grandma? Why doesn't dad care? Mom? Is it because they are adults? Can I do this when I grow up? ”
Family harmony and happiness are always the cornerstone of children’s happy growth. Psychological research shows that if the family is often troubled by trivial matters, In the tense situation or in the silent cold war, the child's inner sense of being at a loss will be very strong. For children to grow up, a stable and orderly family order is an important source of inner security. It is also the first step for children to learn to follow rules and gain a sense of inner order.
The diversified family structure is helpless
The addition of grandparents to the small family of children seems to have become a common dilemma for three generations. But from the perspective of actual needs, although there are many contradictions for the elderly to help take care of their children, it is indeed the best option in reality.
It is affordable and safe for the elderly to take care of their children. According to the sixth census data, the average childbearing age of Chinese women is 29.13 years old. The careers of young couples around 30 years old are in their infancy, and they are generally under pressure to buy a house or pay off a mortgage (the 2019 China Fertility Report shows that the proportion of mortgage loans in household income has reached 44%). For small families in the start-up stage, savings are already relatively thin. If one parent (usually the mother) resigns due to the arrival of a newborn, let’s not discuss the difficulties for women to return to the workplace in a few years. Just look at the present. The financial pressure of a father earning enough money to support the whole family is enough to discourage mothers who are preparing to take care of their children full-time.
For most ordinary dual-income families, either parent faces the dilemma of being unable to leave the workplace and having no one to take care of the child. In addition, nanny/full-time nanny is not only expensive but also has varying quality. News such as “nanny sticks a child with a needle” and “nanny feeds child sleeping pills” are often reported in the media. Parents who are eager to have their children are worried about hiring “strangers”. "Taking care of children will change their expressions and avoid them.
Faced with many practical difficulties, it is indeed the most "affordable and safe" solution for the elderly to join a small family and take on the work of raising children.
The current situation of child care is that the contradiction between supply and demand is prominent. In 2016, the China Population and Development Research Center conducted a survey on the current situation of child care in 10 cities including Beijing, Shanghai, and Guangzhou. It showed that the contradiction between supply and demand of child care in my country is prominent. Among the more than 10,000 mothers of infants and young children under the age of 3 interviewed, 35.8% expressed a need for childcare, but only 4.1% actually entered childcare institutions. The reason why the contradiction between supply and demand is so serious is that, in addition to the general belief among parents that infants under the age of 2 cannot be trusted to attend day care, the main reason is the insufficient supply of child care institutions, especially the serious shortage of public child care institutions trusted by parents.
Therefore, to a certain extent, relying on the elderly to take care of children is a helpless move due to the lack of socialized infant care services.
Raising across generations,
Seeking a balance between contradictions and happiness
Children are the future, and the country and society need to provide the necessary material and resources for families to raise infants and young children. Service guarantee. The report of the 19th National Congress of the Communist Party of China included "education for young children" as an important part of "persisting in ensuring and improving people's livelihood during development". Premier Li Keqiang pointed out in this year's government work report: "We must deepen supply-side structural reforms, highlight people's livelihood orientation, and develop elderly care and childcare services." Recently, the General Office of the State Council issued "On Promoting the Development of Infant Care Services for Children Under 3 Years Old" "Guiding Opinions", which demonstrate that the country attaches great importance to the current infant and child care services. We eagerly look forward to a future where childcare services will become increasingly perfect.
There is a long way to go to improve socialized childcare services. In the process of continuously improving childcare services, society should also assume the corresponding family education guidance when faced with families who have to have their children raised by the elderly. Service, "Let educators be educated first" guides young parents and the elderly to learn together. Scientific parenting concepts and methods need to reach the most important caregivers of children in an all-round way, so as to solve the most prominent family conflicts caused by the conflict of parenting concepts. , and then create a harmonious family growth environment for children.
Interaction is family tradition. Managing the family is more important than educating children. If something goes wrong, you must turn to yourself. The famous writer James Baldwin once said: "Although children do not obey their parents, they are very good at imitating their parents' behavior." In the family, the way people interact with each other is like the wind of nature, although it is invisible But it is truly tangible and tangible. Each of our family members, especially the adults, is the creator and the shaper of the family tradition, and the child is a mirror that reflects the family tradition. Managing a family is not only about educating children, but also about educating children. Family is far more important than godchildren.
For parents who are afraid that their children will not be smart or talented, when excessive belief in "scientific parenting" pervasively enters their children's lives, their anxiety will become their desire to control everything, especially others. huge motivation. Learning to see and regulate one's own parenting anxiety is the key to alleviating the "displeasure of seeing old people raising children everywhere".
Life is education, a combination of love and responsibility, starting with housework.
How many parents in life are worried that their children will be spoiled into little emperors who are "indifferent to their limbs and grains", while at the same time they accept with peace of mind that the elderly will take care of their food and daily life in all aspects? How many parents complain that their children only kiss their grandparents, but after dinner all they want to do is lie down and play with their phones?
The elderly take over all housework, completely disconnecting children from housework. As everyone knows, the value of housework goes far beyond simply maintaining hygiene. More importantly, housework can unite family members' sense of participation and responsibility in the home. It is also the simplest way to cultivate children's self-esteem, confidence, and self-efficacy - children's self-esteem. Confidence comes from truly experiencing the joy of accomplishing something in real life, and does not come from parents' verbal encouragement of "you are awesome." Teaching children to do housework to the best of their ability is to accumulate a sense of accomplishment for them in the real world.
Sharing housework is the most genuine filial piety towards the elderly. Not just children, every family member needs to experience a sense of accomplishment in housework and a sense of dedication and participation in the family.
Let the elderly participate in the growth of their children in an active manner
Three generations living under one roof, very educational
A family composed of old, middle and young people , is the most natural environment, the most reasonable unit, and the most complete structure. Grasp the coexistence of three generations under the same roof, which is actually an opportunity to educate and benefit from each other.
Three generations living under the same roof benefit all three parties
Enhance the ancestors’ sense of meaning in life. For the elderly, living with their children and grandchildren will bring more happiness, security and self-worth, and have a positive impact on the mental health of the elderly. According to statistics from the National Health Commission, as of the end of 2019, there were 254 million elderly people over the age of 60 in my country, 120 million empty-nest elderly people, and 30 million elderly people living alone. Many of them had accidental deaths, depression, and even suicides caused by living alone. In addition to the helplessness caused by the deterioration of physical functions, the world of the elderly also has the loneliness of falling behind the intelligent age. Three generations living under one roof not only increase the opportunities for the elderly to come into contact with new things and update their ideas, strengthen their positive emotions and enrich their spiritual life, but also their diet, daily life and health status can be taken care of and improved to a certain extent, improving their quality of life. standard of living.
Enrich the emotional cognition of children and grandchildren. For children, life in a large family with multiple members provides more experience, excitement, and more communication and interaction than a family of three. The fine family tradition of parents being filial to their ancestors and grandparents caring for their children and grandchildren is the best family education for children and a moral character that can be passed down from generation to generation. In the process of educating children to respect, take care of, and accompany the elderly, we also cultivate children's gratitude and sense of rules. This multiple roles and identities are conducive to a person's future social development and can effectively avoid the occurrence of negative physical and mental problems such as psychological deficiency and emotional desertion.
Three generations under one roof, three parties working together
To maximize the synergistic effect of "three generations under one roof", three generations need to cooperate and understand each other, and it requires the cooperation of individuals, families and society. *** support each other, *** work together.
From a personal perspective, everyone performs their duties and respects each other. As grandparents, we must consciously update our educational concepts and living habits, understand the reasons and ideas of the new generation for making decisions, and respect the opinions of young parents in educating their children with an open mind. As young parents, we must learn to cherish the "old treasures" at home, be grateful and tolerant of the old ideas and practices of the elderly, and do our best to plan the living space and coordinate the living habits for the elderly. On educational issues, provide timely explanations and timely communication to build healthy family relationships for children. As a child, you should serve as a good lubricant for your grandparents and parents, inherit filial piety and good family traditions, and inject vitality into a family with three generations under one roof.
From a family perspective, focus on roles and a reasonable division of labor. The family is a complete system. Only by clarifying personal "rights, responsibilities, and interests" and establishing a good role order can the tutoring system operate efficiently. Regarding the leadership of children's education, parents are always the first person responsible. They should try their best to avoid being separated from their children for a long time, so as not to affect the establishment of a normal attachment relationship. Grandparents should play the role of auxiliary care, care for their grandchildren appropriately, and avoid doting and over-comprehensive "helicopter" parenting models. When encountering differences in educational concepts, young parents should humbly communicate with the elderly about family education principles, unify educational standards, and avoid children's speculative psychology and family conflicts.
It is a wonderful experience for three generations to have the opportunity to travel together on a journey of life. Handle the "upper-lower relationship" in the family well, put aside differences instead of estrangement, and care is different from interference, so that the three generations can understand each other in an intimate relationship, care for each other from body to emotion, and achieve each other's success in harmony without differences. Form a healthy and positive three-generation education atmosphere in society, and truly bring into play the diverse effects of diverse families.
With the development of the times, mothers in each era will have different ways to express their love for their children... In an atmosphere of social diversity, looking back, we are born in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Mothers, how big is the gap between love ten years apart?
Keywords for mothers born in the 1960s: traditional hard work, strict food and clothing
This generation is a traditional generation, and people’s Thoughts and behaviors are unified, so in the process of raising children, most people are also influenced by this traditional thought.
Listening to mothers born in the 1960s talk about past events
For people in that era, there were many children in the family, and there were many things to do. The parents-in-law could help one family but not that family.
At that time, the family was poor, and it should be said that the whole society was not rich, and personal nutrition could not keep up. The children went to work as soon as they were one month old. Raising children, going to work, and suffering from malnutrition have made me look like a yellow-faced woman. The family's financial situation is not rich and they cannot afford a nanny, so they have to do all the work themselves. I have to go to work during the day, and all housework is basically squeezed into evenings or days off, leaving little time for real rest.
When children are young, as long as they can be fed and clothed warmly, it is already good. The awareness of children's education is also very weak. On the one hand, we don't have much knowledge ourselves, and on the other hand, it may be caused by the general environment at that time.
At that time, everyone was running for food and warm clothes. There was no money or time to think about how to raise children. Moreover, there were no teaching places such as training classes at that time, and tutoring was not popular. So, even if we want to raise children, we don’t have that environment.
In the eyes of parents at that time, elders were always elders and children were always children. There were some things that children simply didn’t understand, so there was no need to tell them! We always acted like parents at that time, The child is a little afraid to talk to us, and he doesn't want to tell us anything in his heart, and we won't take the initiative to communicate with him. Therefore, the child's current personality is also a bit introverted.
Mothers of that era had traditional ideas and were relatively strict in disciplining their children. For example, delicious food should be given to the elderly first; children should not be served when guests come to the house for dinner; they must greet their parents when going out and entering the house, etc. The development of these habits is actually good for their current work, study and life. of. After all, no matter how this society develops, it needs some rules and regulations. The traditional virtues will not and cannot be blocked!
Keywords for mothers born in the 1970s: communication, freedom, happiness and respect< /p>
This generation has accepted many new ideas. As a mother, through her own life experience, she will be more willing to compare and inject new things into her children's education methods.
Listen to what a mother born in the 1970s said about new ideas in parenting
My daughter has absolute freedom. I let her choose what she likes to do and let her play to her heart's content. Everyone wants to be happy. I have not been able to experience it well myself, but I will try my best to make my children happy every day.
I actually think very simply. I want to be my child’s friend. I want to be a very gentle and understanding mother who can give my child a very relaxed and happy space to grow. He and I should be equal. He can discuss any issue with me.
My mother is a very kind and simple person, but she doesn't understand me. I loved singing when I was a child. Every time I came home from music class, I would happily sing to my mother. However, they always joked that my singing was out of tune. At that time, they would not realize that a young child’s self-esteem is actually very low. Damn it, I will never sing again. Now, I am not like this with my son. Even if he really doesn't do something well, I will encourage him to keep trying.
My parents believe that a filial son emerges from under a stick, and they can’t stand the fact that I always talk to my children in a consultative tone. My point of view is: beating and scolding children is a sign of parental incompetence. My son has never had the fear of being beaten since he was a child. If he does something wrong, we will hold a small discussion and let him express his thoughts until we can debate who is right and who is wrong. At this time, he Basically I was convinced.
Compared with the previous generation, mothers born in the 1970s know better how to respect their children and give them a broader and freer space because of their own life experiences; they regard themselves as their children’s playmates and become He talks to friends who care about them; they value the cultivation of children's various abilities, do not put too much pressure on them, and let them make choices according to their own interests.
Keywords for post-80s mothers: One-child fashion, high education, unknown
As the first generation to implement the one-child policy in China, they are the generation who grew up being cared for and doted on. , as young mothers, they may still be unable to get rid of the shadow of being children in the eyes of others, and they may have more fashionable views on parenting issues.
Look at the fashion and parenting of post-80s mothers
Science is better than experience. When she attended a nanny training last year, Mrs. Chen had just gotten married and was preparing to have a baby.
She and her husband are both only children, and neither of them is good at housework, let alone such a complicated task as raising children. So she took the time to sign up for this training class. Unlike other students who planned to become professional nannies in the future, she just wanted to learn to be a qualified mother.
Comments: More than 90% of the participants in East China Normal University’s qualified parenting training courses are only children. There are also many mother students in the Child Psychological Counseling and Potential Development Teacher Certificate Class. Compared with the parenting experience passed down from generation to generation by their parents, the post-80s generation may have a lot of scientific parenting knowledge. The Internet, professional magazines, parent training classes, and confinement nanny are all sources of their rich and scientific parenting knowledge. It’s just that those born in the 1980s can reach a certain height in theory, but in the eyes of their parents, they are more of just high-minded but short-handed.
Invest in EQ more than IQ. When the child was only one and a half years old, Mr. Lu enrolled his child in a tutoring class. This class did not teach piano or Go, but let the child play games. All English-speaking foreign teachers are in place, and two or three children can attend the class together. The price of a 40-minute class is around 150 yuan, and there are quite a lot of children attending the class. According to Mr. Lu, this is called emotional intelligence investing. When he was a child, his parents naturally focused on academic performance and paid less attention to personal character development and social skills. In his view, a person's communication skills and emotional intelligence are far more important than test scores and IQ. Let your children learn to be gregarious and be good at integrating into groups from an early age. Social skills must be cultivated from an early age.
Comment: Emotional intelligence, this term seems a bit unfamiliar to Mr. Lu’s parents’ generation. At that time, it was their wish for their children to eat well and learn well. But nowadays, there are more and more kinds of trainings for children, such as emotional intelligence, potential, thinking training...it can be said that there are many varieties. According to someone from an early childhood education center in Shanghai, in addition to the well-paid middle class and some foreigners, their training targets include many young people who are more willing to invest in their children's emotional intelligence.
Happiness alone is not as good as happiness among others. When Xixi was 5 months old, Xixi's mother began to serialize "Xixi's Wonderful Life" on the Parenting blog. Xixi's mother felt that for herself, the writing process of the Parenting blog was also a process of continuous growth for young parents. Online, questions asked are always answered by other enthusiastic parents. The child is sick, the child needs to buy new clothes, the child is going to kindergarten... There will always be someone who has given advice, and the Internet can easily bring us closer. For a stay-at-home mother like Xixi’s mother, online communication about parenting is an important way for her to stay connected with society.
Comments: The Internet changes life, and the Internet naturally changes people's parenting concepts. Compared with the generation of parents who communicated their parenting experience through letters, phone calls or face-to-face, today's "post-80s" have more convenient conditions. It doesn't matter if they don't have much experience, and they can ask for advice humbly. And this is probably the reason why the number of parenting blogs and parenting websites has increased sharply.
Most of this generation of only-child mothers lack psychological preparation for the role change of their children as parents. This is reflected in the fact that they have to take care of their children before they have taken care of themselves. On the other hand, compared with mothers born in the 1960s and 1970s, more of them have higher education and are exposed to the impact of more new ideas through various media, and their "parenting" concepts are more fashionable. New media, professional books, and experiences taught by elders have become the three magic weapons for single mothers to raise children.
I think the three-year generation gap is very reliable. If someone is more than three years older than me, it would be difficult to communicate with them.
Let alone more than twenty or even thirty years.
I was born in 1989. Let me compare the growing environment of my parents and myself.
My parents were both born in the early 1960s, and each family had more than one child. At that time, it was just after the three-year natural disaster, and supplies were scarce. By the time they went to school, it was during the Cultural Revolution, but fortunately it was Tail, my mother passed the technical secondary school entrance examination, and after graduation she was assigned a good job and her life was bright. My father was demobilized from the army and worked in the same company as my mother. As a result, they all got laid off and started doing some small business, barely supporting me until I graduated from college.
I am an only child. In elementary school, junior high school, and high school, most of my classmates were also only children. I was born in the late 1980s and grew up in the era of reform and opening up. When I was a child, there was no computer network or anything like that. After I graduated and worked for two years, I had laptops, smartphones, IPADs, etc., and Internet information came in like a tide every day.
Human beings are, after all, social animals. The impact of the overall social environment on you ultimately creates you as a person.
My parents grew up in an era of scarcity and had many children in the family. Seeing us easily get what they had dreamed of back then, they naturally felt that we were a happy generation, and the children also had the troubles of children, and gained the blessings of their parents. All the pampering is met with all the parental restrictions. Parents think that we have paid so much for you and you are so happy, why are you disobedient? But the children think that you can restrict me too much.
The system is important to parents. They who are laid off will compare themselves to their peers who are still in the system. The strong contrast makes them firm in their belief that you must go to college and enter the system. .
Children's views on this society come from the reform and opening up. Mercantilism has a much greater impact on them than the system. There are indeed advantages within the system, but there is also a broad sky outside the system. What is good and what is bad, everyone has his or her own. opinion.
The sources of information for parents were very narrow. When they were young, they could only listen to the radio, when the red sun was at its reddest. Later, with the advent of television, they relied on television to obtain most of the information from the outside world. Children learn to surf the Internet when they are more than 10 years old. At first, they may just play games. Later, they discover that there is a lot of information on the Internet that cannot be obtained on TV. The rebelliousness of adolescence, the desire for others to affirm oneself, the ideological impact once again manifested itself when adults who had long been aloof and aloof turned out to be so ignorant.
Parents think that they have many years of social experience and life experience. If they don’t listen to the elders, they will suffer a lot. The children think that what you say is old-fashioned and outdated. The experience and strength of the elderly, the youth and rebellion of the children, the effects of hormones, the pressure of life, heavy studies, and the same depressed mood make them refuse to communicate. Even if they want to communicate, they end up in a quarrel, deepening the already deep relationship. generation gap.
It wasn’t until my children started to start a career and start a family that I realized what it was like to be a parent. I did have a lot of childishness back then, and the salt and salt that my parents had given me for so many years was not in vain. Parents have also seen that the world has changed dramatically from what they did back then. Many of their children's views are right; but the generation gap still cannot be eliminated. Maybe they can only be together during the Spring Festival every year. Parents still like to watch the Spring Festival Gala, and their children may Holding various electronic devices to browse Weibo or play games.
Human beings are social animals after all. The most obvious example is that people who were raised by wolves when they were young eventually became wolf children, and their living habits were the same as those of wolves. No matter how old you are, the things you were exposed to when you were growing up will have an impact on you.
I often think that I have reached the age where my parents have me. If I have children, what will it be like? Thinking about when I was a child, it was really a village. Hahahahahaha
I saw "Grandma's 280,000 yuan pension was taken away by her 18-year-old granddaughter, and 150,000 yuan was given to her boyfriend. The other party said: It's normal for couples to spend money" and "A netizen ordered hot pot worth more than 20,000 yuan on the first date." Woman: He took advantage of me and skipped the bill." These two unrelated incidents, the protagonists of the extravagance are both born in the 90s and 00s, so it is inevitable to have mixed feelings.
In order to please her boyfriend of three months, I stole my grandma’s life savings and ate more than 20,000 yuan in a meal for two. I don’t feel bad about spending other people’s money like this. Although it is just an extreme case, there is something hidden behind it. The new generation of consumerism has touched the sensitive nerves of society. No wonder there are so many negative comments behind the news!
In the incident, what people saw was the profligate youth who consumed beyond their own financial capacity and overdrafted their consumption, throwing away the thousands of years of frugal tradition.
Their living habits and consumption concepts are completely different, or even completely opposite, from their parents and grandparents who came through the era of shortage economy.
The founding generation, represented by those born in the 60s and 70s, are rich and don’t forget to be frugal, while the new generation, represented by those born in the 90s and 00s, spend a lot of money. But these two generations live under the same roof. , the intergenerational inheritance of wealth creates many thrilling intergenerational conflicts.
Many parents find that the rate at which they earn money cannot keep up with their children's desire to spend money. The price of limiting their children's consumption limit may be a high-interest loan bill that is difficult to repay.
Due to historical coincidence, China's post-60s and post-70s generations encountered the golden opportunity period of reform and opening up and gained more social wealth. In a sense, they became the lucky ones of the times.
What is happier than them are their descendants, who bear the profound imprint of the only generation, grew up in the stage of social wealth explosion, enjoyed the accumulation of two or three generations of life, and did not know the taste of hunger since childhood, and even Some people are born with a golden key in their mouth, have no personal experience of poverty, and have no understanding of the hardships of creating wealth, but they are eager to follow the upgrading consumption wave.
People born in the 60s and 70s raised children born in the 90s and 00s. When their children grow up, many people may find that their children are not what they expected, and may even feel like they have raised a white-eyed wolf.
I have come across some people of the same age who are worried about their children. The children have grown up, but they cannot work with peace of mind. Some are idle and addicted to the Internet. Most of the communication with their parents only involves asking for money, and they still find their parents nagging them. They even blacklisted their parents as soon as they got the money.
When I communicate with business owners, I often feel that it is difficult to manage the new generation. Young people quit working if they don’t get what they want. After the probation period, they become old employees. Companies are recruiting all year round, and they are faced with food shortages. Those born in the 1990s and 2000s can't bear the pain. Only they are old scalpers who can support five or six others.
A ladle of cold water.
There are as many lavish children in life as there are middle-aged parents who are overdrawn by their children. Many vicissitudes of life are better than emptying six wallets when buying a house.
When those born in the 1960s and 1970s look at those born in the 1990s and 2000s with expectant eyes, many people may eventually discover that one generation has stolen the life achievements of another generation, and despise that generation for being old-fashioned and stingy. And the person who goes from hope to disappointment is himself.