I am not only a pessimist, but also an optimist. I think people's emotions are actually two-sided. The so-called pessimism, there must be happy moments. First of all, I don't want you to define yourself or position yourself as what kind of person.
People are emotional animals, and all our lives are full of joys and sorrows, which is an indispensable part of life. If there is no bitterness, how can you feel what is sweet? It is because of the contrast that we have an emotional experience and know what we want.
If you want to be optimistic, you must first admit the existence of emotions. Many times, pessimism is a way of self-protection, because it does not develop in the direction of psychology and violates our original intention. Therefore, we are unhappy, depressed and even resentful. In the most helpless time, when we couldn't convince ourselves, we chose to give up silently and never recovered. Since then, happiness has nothing to do with me.
You can realize this and prove that you want to be better. Why not? Schopenhauer has a famous saying, you might as well be bold, but you will lose your life sooner or later. So summon up courage and start from a small thing to make yourself better.
There must be a lot of things you like, you miss and you are willing to do waiting for you. I like clothes, books and food. When we have been feeling sorry for ourselves since ancient times, there are still many children who don't even have enough to eat. Their only wish is to have a full meal. We don't have to worry about filling our stomachs, and we are already very happy at this point.
One more thing, I think it is a very challenging thing to change personality. But you don't have to lose, you have to try. Everything has two sides. Look at the positive side, you will really feel depressed. You can try keeping a diary. In short, don't pile up your emotions in your heart or feel that you have reached a desperate situation. Remind yourself to change your state at the moment, such as changing your posture, eating something and doing some exercise.
Emotions also need to be controlled, so we should learn to control ourselves and often reflect on our own thinking to see where there are problems. Next time, pay attention. Over time, our minds are always awake, so that our lives can be controlled.
In addition, it is suggested that you can read more books, in addition to making yourself quick-witted, seeing wider and farther, and more importantly, you can achieve the healing effect, and you can answer freely in the book. Do what you are good at and interested in, and you will also find yourself excellent. If you are confident, you will naturally be optimistic. Come on!
How to improve such personality habits?
First of all, learn to know yourself. "An inch is long, but a foot is short". There is no good or bad personality. If we can face up to our weaknesses and take positive actions, we can solve the pessimistic dilemma.
Secondly, let yourself focus on specific actions and not think about things that will not happen in the short term.
Furthermore, let yourself learn to trust. As long as you believe in yourself, you will have a solid feeling and dare to face difficulties alone.
Finally, be able to accept change. For pessimists, change means an unpredictable future and hidden dangers. Tell yourself that there are not so many earth-shattering events in life, just calm down and do your best.
If you are troubled by your pessimistic personality, you might as well take actions to change your pessimistic personality from four aspects: learning to know yourself, focusing on specific actions, learning to trust, and being able to accept change!
In the study of personality, no one is completely one-sided!
In other words, there is no complete optimism and complete pessimism. All of us are in between. It is very likely that in a comfortable environment, we will behave like optimists, be very good at playing and make our friends happy. But when you break through your comfort zone, you tend to become very pessimistic!
The subject need not be pessimistic first, there is no complete natural pessimism! This must be an acquired pessimist.
Look for problems from three aspects:
Allard concluded that all human problems come from: career, socialization and love. If you can solve these three main problems reasonably, then I believe you will be a very optimistic person! It's easy to find your problem.
Solve the problem from one aspect:
Can you cooperate with others smoothly?
Allard mentioned the issue of cooperation many times in his book Inferiority and Transcendence! If we can cooperate well with the partners around us smoothly, then we won't have much personality problems.
Because cooperation involves many matters:
1.
Because everyone is an independent individual. With empathy, we can better understand people and friends around us. Seeking common ground while reserving differences is what a mentally healthy person must do.
2. Love
Your partner needs love! Many parents often establish a strong sense of competition in the process of cultivating their children, but forget to teach them to care for the people around them with love. So that in the future career, children just take their own subjective ideas as the core to deal with problems! People who do great things must be people who can be human.
3. enterprising spirit
We should have a positive heart at all times. Solve problems and meet challenges at any time.
If you can cooperate well with the partners around you, you have these three hearts. I believe you can get rid of pessimism! Change is hard, but whenever it starts, now is the right time. Come on!
Hello, I am a professional psychological counselor, a clinical hypnotist of the International Association of Psychological Counselors, and have nearly 30 years of clinical experience in psychotherapy. Let me answer your question!
If you want to be optimistic and cheerful, you must first adjust your mentality and give you some suggestions, hoping to help you!
1, adjust your emotions in time and stay optimistic. Don't care too much about the ups and downs in life, don't be too demanding, and don't complain.
2, do not compare, not jealous. As long as we do our best, shine brightly and have a clear conscience, although our situation still has a lot of room for improvement, we are confident to improve, but we are also happy.
3. Learn to be humorous and laugh at yourself. When people encounter some difficulties or misfortunes, do they beat their chests, cry loudly, feel miserable and depressed, or use humor or self-mockery to drive away the pain.
4, don't care too much about other people's evaluation and your position in other people's minds.
The philosopher Schopenhauer pointed out: "Almost half of the troubles and troubles in life are caused by anxiety about what others will say." In fact, this is in vain. "I am who I am", and my image can only be established by my words and deeds. I can only take the road I have chosen after careful consideration and try my best to walk well. As for what people say, there is no such thing as "awesome words".
When there are some troubles in interpersonal relationship, be more understanding and less critical.
Pickiness hurts yourself first. Wei Zhi, a famous figure in the Tang Dynasty, said, "Mountains can grow high without likes and dislikes. Jianghai doesn't choose Xiaozhu, so it can be full. " This should be our motto in dealing with interpersonal problems.
I hope my answer can help you! Good wishes!
From the heart, it is difficult to completely eliminate the pessimistic factors of family environment. Personal advice: contact more optimistic people, listen less to negative emotions and sad songs, do more outdoor sports and keep a good attitude. An optimist must have a pessimist and a reason to exist. Don't pay too much attention to this problem. If you continue to struggle, it is essentially meaningless and will have a negative impact on yourself. Thanks for adoption