Although discordant families and single-parent families are harmful to children, they seem to be no better by comparison. Because the family situation is different. Let me give a small example to illustrate my point.
An unharmonious family environment will make children precocious.
This is supported by practical scientific experiments. If the family environment is not harmonious, such as conflicts between husband and wife, quarreling at home, or abandoning each other, the family will be indifferent and the children will mature prematurely.
Scientists never knew how to explain this problem, and later found support from the level of animal reproduction.
This is scientifically called reproductive selection.
For example, some animals will give birth to a lot, that is, they seek quantity in a turbulent environment. So you will see that sometimes the poorer you are, the more children you have. There are also some animals that pursue quality, and their living environment is generally stable. Many people with rich families and seemingly adequate conditions are not in a hurry to have children. It's all in the genes. The turbulent environment stimulated the reproductive pattern in our genes. This is a scientific explanation.
Families are not harmonious, and children are more rebellious.
Children can't get good emotional feedback at home and will seek comfort from the outside world. Easily rebellious, farther and farther away from parents.
A disharmonious family will affect a child's character.
Children are born to imitate. Many of his behaviors are imitations. If a family is full of complaints and quarrels, then children will take it for granted that this way can solve the problem. Will affect his emotional processing.
My parents often quarreled when I was a child. Therefore, later people are also irritable and not good at maintaining intimate relationships. Emotional intelligence is very low, and I have taken many detours in my life choice.
The family is not harmonious, often in a depressing atmosphere, and the child's personality will be introverted and timid. And it will also affect his ability to communicate with others after entering the society.
Although the family is not harmonious, it has not affected the normal life of children.
A friend has a son of 15 years old after marriage, and his parents-in-law help him. Friends go to work, and husbands are not at home all the year round. Gambling is hopeless. My friend wants a divorce, and I can't go out to take care of the children alone. My husband owed a lot of gambling debts and asked his parents and wife for money. In this family situation, other women have already divorced and left. But my friend is not divorced. She said that if divorced, the children would live separately from themselves, and it would be more painful not to see them. Divorce, going out, living without a fixed address, children's life is not guaranteed. Anyway, my husband is not at home all the year round, out of sight, out of mind.
Think about it, too. Although such a family is not harmonious, the normal life of children can still be guaranteed.
Single-parent families are not necessarily bad as long as they have love.
Single-parent families generally mean that there is no mother or father. For example, parents divorced, or widowed. If the parents are divorced, the children live with one of them. But you have to understand that you love children, so it's no problem to create a healthy and positive atmosphere for him as much as possible.
First of all: don't refuse the other half's visit, no matter what happens between adults, negotiate well and do better in loving children. No matter what happens, the other person is the closest person to the child. Don't let the other half disappear Visit regularly and accompany with your heart.
Second: if you really can't do it. Then, try to find a father image or a mother image so that children can learn from it. Make up for this deficiency. Or find a role model in life. Many children from single-parent families have multi-dimensional love from other aspects, and they also grow up healthily. Such as grandparents, parents, friends.
The most important thing for children's living environment is peace and love, and they can move forward in an orderly manner within the scope that children can control.
Single-parent families have no appearance and separation, and there is no repressed mutual accusation. Only a quiet and stable little life. It's much better for children than a disharmonious family. Although life may be tight or there are many difficulties. But overcoming these difficulties with children is also a positive anti-stress education.
Single-parent families are not all unhappy.
Zhu Zhu is a lively and cheerful little girl, eight years old. My parents divorced three years ago. She lives with her mother, who is a professional woman and strong and optimistic. Busy at work, take care of her every day. Zhu Zhu feels very happy with her mother every day, because her mother is more creative about life and often gives her all kinds of small surprises. She feels much happier with her mother than with her father before. Her parents always quarreled before, and she was afraid that they would quarrel. Now that we are separated, we don't have to be afraid of the smell of gunpowder.
In a family with a broken marriage, there seems to be nothing better. It is best to make children feel comfortable.
From the above two small cases, it seems that you can't make a choice. Because I'm not sure which one hurts the child more. Therefore, we can only weigh the pros and cons according to our actual situation.
Tolstoy famously said that all happy families are similar, and each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.