1. When I was a child, I was dishonest in eating. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me: It has been hard for 60 years and there is no food. I never throw away the boogers I picked out

2. There was a rich man looking for a servant. The interview topic was to use the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands after using the toilet. The rich man sent them away. Only one of them washed his hands, so the rich man kept him. .But one day, the rich man found that he came out without washing his hands. The rich man asked him why? The servant replied: "I brought toilet paper today..."

3. A man saw a store There was a big sale, so I walked in. "What are you buying?" "I want to buy dog ??food." "We have regulations, you must prove that you have a dog." "Where is such a regulation?" "This is what discounted goods are like." The man spent a long time with the salesperson. , the salesperson still refused to sell it to him and there was nothing he could do, so the man had to go home and bring the dog with him, and then he bought the dog food. A few days later, the man went to the store again to buy cat food and said, "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have regulations, you must prove that you have a cat." It was the same salesperson, and the man spent another long time with her, but still couldn't get the result. I bought cat food without going home and bringing the cat with me. A few days later, the man came to the store carrying a large cardboard box with a hole in it. He asked the salesperson, "What are you buying?" "You'll know when you put your hand in." The salesperson put his hand in and said, "What is it?" "Yeah, it's sticky." "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper." 4. A man went to visit his grandmother with his friends. While he was talking to his grandma, his friend started eating the peanuts on the coffee table and finished them all. As they were leaving, his friend said to grandma, "Thank you for the peanuts," and grandma responded, "Oh! Yeah. ! Alas! Since I lost all my teeth, I can only suck the outer layer of chocolate.

Some people like the dish "Spicy Vermicelli Pot". One time, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again, but the waiter told him that it was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" he asked disappointedly. "Sir, it's really sold out." You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at the table. "The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's instructions and saw a very respectable gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman had almost eaten his meal, but the "Spicy Vermicelli Pot" was still full. The man He felt that the gentleman was wasting delicious food, so he walked up to the gentleman, pointed at the "Spicy Vermicelli Pot" and asked politely: "Sir, do you want more of this?" "The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he was halfway through the meal. Suddenly he found a very small but full-furred one lying at the bottom of the casserole. The little mouse felt disgusted and vomited all the vermicelli he had eaten back into the casserole. When he was turning his stomach, the gentleman looked at him with sympathy and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" It's the same..."

6. On this day, the hotel owner was patrolling the lobby. A beggar came up and said, "Can I give you a toothpick, boss?" "The boss sent him away. After a while, another beggar came and asked for toothpicks. The boss thought to himself, why did the beggar ask for toothpicks instead of rice? He also sent him away, not too old, and again A beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here to ask for toothpicks too?" The beggar said: "Someone vomited, but I was a step too late. The two beggars in front had already eaten everything I could eat. Now only the soup is left." Can you give me a straw?

7. The eldest and second child were on a plane. The second child got airsick and kept vomiting. One bag was full, so the boss had to go get it. When he came back, he found that everyone on the plane was vomiting. The eldest son asked the reason and the second eldest son said: "I saw that this bag was also full of vomiting, so I had to drink half of the bag, and they all vomited."

One day, the eldest and the second eldest brother I went to the theater to watch a play again, and saw the two of them arguing about the development of the plot, and they made a bet about it. The boss pointed to the row of spittoons in front and said, "The loser has to take a sip of what's there." Unfortunately, the boss lost, so he frowned and took a sip.

The two continued to bet on the following plot. This time, the second child lost. The second child picked up a spittoon and drank fifteen gulps in a row. The boss was shocked and looked down in admiration. He said to the second brother, "You are so amazing. You can drink fifteen gulps in a row!" The second boss shook his head. "It's not that I want to drink. The phlegm in the spittoon is too thick. I really don't want it." Keep biting!"

I have a friend named Xiaocai. One day he was taken away

Gu Shi actually predicted the top four super girls last year

(Yu) The rain knocks the dream into pieces and sighs in wasted time

(Spring) When spring comes, the flowers bloom and fall

(Yes) It is still unknown whether it is a dream or waking up

(1) Smiling and sighing for a hundred years

(Prit) I have been tired of state affairs all my life

(Chang) Drinking to dissolve the heartbreak

(Pt) The emperor does not anger others. Afraid

(2) Why do you need to be so humble

(Beautiful) The cool breeze is not intoxicating and makes people drunk

(Ying) No one in the shadow doubts himself

(Should) It should be a good time

(3) Ask the sky three times if he is coming back

(Why) why not the old God has mourned

(Jie) It’s all about lovesickness

(Part 2) I laugh to myself

(4) It seems to be lingering in the clouds

A priest While playing golf, a nun was watching. The first shot was missed. The priest cursed: "TMD, you missed the shot!" He hit again, and the priest cursed again: "TMD, you missed the shot again!" The nun said: " God will punish you for swearing as a priest." As soon as he finished speaking, a thunderbolt struck the nun to death. The priest was puzzled: Why was it me who cursed, and why did he kill the nun? At this time, God's voice came from the sky: "TMD, I missed the shot too!"

The head coaches of the football teams of China, Japan and South Korea came to heaven together and asked God when their respective football teams would be able to return to heaven. To win the World Cup, God said: South Korea will need 50 years. The Korean coach burst into tears: I can’t see him anymore. God said again: Japan needs 100 years. The Japanese coach burst into tears: I can’t see him anymore. The Chinese coach quickly asked: Where are we? God cried loudly: I can’t see him anymore.

One day Ami went to see King Yama for trial (he was the third in the list)

(King Yama asked the first one first)

Yan: What have you done in your life? What happened?

Person 1: Killing

Yan: Give you a black key and go to hell!

(King Yama asked the second person)

Yan: What have you done in your life?

Person 2: Saving people

Yan: Give you a white key and go to heaven!

(King Yama asked Ami)

Yan: What have you done in your life?

A: What men love

Yan: Give it to you A pink key!

A: What key is this?

Yan: Well...how should I say it?

1. Three little white rabbits I picked a mushroom

The two older ones asked the younger one to get some wild vegetables to eat together

The younger one said I won’t go and I left, so you ate my mushrooms

The two big ones said no, don’t worry, so the little white rabbit went~~~

Half a year passed, the little white rabbit still hasn’t come back. The big one said it won’t come back. Come to my door and eat it

The other big one said wait a little longer~~~

A year has passed and the little white rabbit hasn’t come back yet. The two big ones discussed that there is no need to wait for us. Eat it

At this moment, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the jungle next to it and said angrily: Look! I knew you were going to eat my mushrooms

2. A lot When things are cooked, they will have various aromas... So cooking?#123; has always been very particular.

But... on the contrary... there is something; take it It will be more fragrant if frozen. What is it?

Electricity. Because... Refrigerator-gt; Electricity-Ice-(fragrance)...

3. Cars can fly. Please guess a drink... coffee...

Because...(Car)-(fly)

4. We A bear without a tail is called a koala, so what kind of bear do we call a bear without a penis?

The answer is a female bear, because a female bear does not have a penis to begin with

5. Once upon a time, there was a steamed bun~ After eating a meatball, it turned into a steamed bun~

6. Once upon a time, there was a 5-rare steak and a 7-rare steak. Why didn’t they say hello when they met on the street? Ah?

Because: They are not familiar with each other...

7.Q: One day, the bird flew from Kaohsiung to Taipei for an hour. But it took 2 hours to get back! WHY?

Because it was raining! So you have to cover the rain with one hand and fly with the other.

8. Q: Which chicken is the fastest in the world? What kind of chicken is slow?

A: KFC Chicken Nuggets (fast)

Nicole Kidman (slow)

9. On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl Said: "Why does the plane fly so high without hitting the stars?"

The little girl replied: "I know, because the stars will 'flicker'!"

10 .Excuse me: Who gave me Wangqing Shui?

Answer: Aha~~~

Reason: "Aha, give me a glass of love-free water~~~~"

11.Q: What animal Most likely to be posted on the wall?

A: Poster Leopard

12.Q: Who will help you refill your meal when you are full?

A: Flying dragon, because the flying dragon is added to the (sky)

13. Which one is dumb: the stars, the moon, or the sun?

The stars, because: there is a sentence in Lu Binghua's song " The stars in the sky don’t speak

14. What’s the last name of the pencil?

Xiao, because: sharpen (Xiao) pencil

15. Which cartoon character is always in the dark?

Tinker Bell (Doraemon) because he couldn’t see his hands

16. 4 people were playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police take away 5 people?

Because the person they are playing is called "Mahjong"

17. Xiao Ming: "Do you know the name of Muhammad Ali's father? Ruobing: "I don't know." "Xiao Ming: "Idiot! Of course it’s called Alibaba. ”

18. Ming: “Do you know what mosquitoes don’t bite? Ruobing: "I don't know." Xiao Ming: "Of course it's jelly, jelly pudding!" Ha ha ! ”

19.4. The mother of (birth) is called Huami! What is the name of the mother of (flower)—Miaobi, because (Miaobi gives birth to flowers)

20. Let me tell you something Touching story

Get out of here! Story of chasing people away

21. There is a family... The whole family is very lazy...

Dad told mom to do it If mom doesn’t want to do it, she asks her elder sister to do it. If her elder sister doesn’t want to do it, she asks her younger sister to do it...

But my younger sister doesn’t want to do it either, so she asks the puppy to do it...

One day A guest came to the house... and found the puppy doing housework...

I was very surprised... and asked the puppy: "Puppy... can you do housework...?!"

The puppy said: "There is no way...they don't do it, so they ask me to do it..."

The guest was even more surprised...: "You can talk...!!!" !"

Puppy: "Shh! Keep your voice down...otherwise they know I can talk...and they will ask me to answer the phone...!!"

22. Fox Why do we often fall? !

Because foxes are very cunning (slippery feet)

23. A psychology professor said to the host of the meeting: "If you want the women in the meeting to quiet down all of a sudden, just Ask them a question: 'Ladies, who is the oldest among you? ' and the room becomes silent." 24. Woman: "I married the devil. It’s better than marrying you.”

Male: “This is impossible because close relatives are prohibited from marrying.

”

25. Lele ran to the zoo one day to feed the monkeys...throwing peanuts to the monkeys...but there was a monkey who would stuff peanuts into his butt every time...and then take them out to eat...Lele felt I was so disgusted that I ran to ask the director...why did the monkey behave in such a strange way...The director explained: Because

Last year a man threw a big peach to him...but it turned out that The big peach's penis can't be discharged smoothly from the butt... He was killed miserably... So now he must put the food into his butt and measure it to make sure it can be pulled out before he dares to eat...

26. Demon King: "Princess, no one will come to save you if you scream! "

Princess: "Broken throat! "

No one: "Princess! I'm here to save you! "

Devil: "Damn it..."

Ghost: "Who discovered me? "

Who: "What does it have to do with me? ”

The devil is dead!!

27. Once upon a time, there was a white cat and a black cat

One day

The white cat It fell into the water

The black cat rescued it

The white cat said something to the black cat

``Q: This sentence What is

............"Meow"

28. It is said that on a dark and windy night , on the longest... scariest road...

The taxi driver drove past there...

There was a woman waving at the roadside to get in the taxi... Hmm ...The whole journey...it was quite quiet...

Until the woman spoke...

She said: "I'll give you an apple...it's delicious... "The driver thought it was great... so he took it...

Then he took a bite... The woman asked: "Is it delicious?

The driver said: "It's delicious!" "The woman replied again: "I also liked eating apples when I was alive..."

Wow...amp;*$#@... When the driver heard this, he was so frightened that he braked suddenly and his face turned upside down. Bai...

The woman slowly tilted her head forward and said to the driver...

Want to know what she said? ……………………………………………

“But I didn’t like eating it after giving birth to a child

29. Book 11 The book is incredible (book11)

30. A person was painted gold and became a blockbuster (a golden man)

The eldest brother and the second child went to the theater to watch a play, and saw that the two of them were making plot developments in the middle of the movie. And they got into arguments and made bets about it.

The boss pointed to the row of spittoons in front and said: "The loser has to take a sip of what's there."

Unfortunately, the boss lost, so he frowned and drank. Take a bite.

The two then bet on the following plot, and this time, the second child lost.

The second child picked up a spittoon and drank fifteen big gulps.

The boss was shocked, fell to the ground in admiration, and said to the second child, "You are so amazing, you can actually drink fifteen gulps in a row!"

The second child shook his head, "No. I want to drink, but the phlegm in the spittoon is so thick that I can’t stop biting it.

39. One day in the big forest, the fox was smoking marijuana, when the little rabbit came running from a distance and saw all this! , came over and said: Fox, fox, how can you smoke marijuana? It is not good for your health. Look, the air is so fresh, come and run with me. The fox thought about it right, so he ran with the little rabbit. While running, they saw the elephant taking heroin. The little rabbit ran over and said to the elephant: Elephant, why are you taking drugs? Look at how fresh the air is. Come and run with me. The elephant wants to come. That's right, just the two of them running together.

As I was running, I saw the lion rolling up his sleeves and about to inject heroin. The little rabbit shouted to the lion from a distance: Lion, lion, taking drugs is not good for your health. Look at how fresh the air is. Come run with me... . The lion put down the syringe and rushed over, slapping the little rabbit wildly. The elephant tremblingly said to the lion: "Why are you hitting the little rabbit? He doesn't want us to hurt our bodies!" The lion said: Ever since the rabbit took ecstasy, he asked me to run with him every day!

40. Which one is mute, the stars, the moon, or the sun? Stars, because: There is a line in Lu Binghua’s song “The stars in the sky don’t speak”

41. In summer, a giraffe met A rabbit, she showed off her neck proudly to the rabbit: Ah, little rabbit, do you know how nice it is to have a long neck? Do you know how fresh and sweet those top leaves are? Do you know what it feels like to drink water in the summer? The refreshing water slowly passed through her neck. Rabbit glanced at her and only said: "Have you tried vomiting?"

42. One time my brother hit me and made my head bulge. A bag. Later, my brother wanted to pack stuff and couldn't find the bag, so he took the bag on my head to hold the stuff.

43. Once upon a time, there was a marshmallow who played ball for a long time. He said: I am so tired. I feel like my whole body has softened.

44. Once upon a time, there were two snowmen. One said: I am so cold. The other said: I am also very cold. The other said: Let us hug each other, so they hugged each other. together. Then they were freezing to death.

1. A bear is coming/come prepared (BEAR is coming)

2. The eleventh book/incredible (BOOK11)

4 .Xiaoyu said to Xiaoming that her father is impotent/can’t stop (Yu’s father can’t)

5. The sheep stopped breathing/feeling proud (the sheep didn’t exhale)

6. Don’t drop the mobile phone In the toilet / Don’t miss the chance (wet)

7. The dog will stop barking after crossing the single-plank bridge / photographic memory (no barking after crossing the wooden bridge)

8. The bee stops on the calendar /风和日丽 (Fenghe Calendar)

10. The painter likes to draw thick ropes and does not like to draw thin ropes / Superb (thick ropes enter the painting)

13. There are ten Nine sheep are squatting in the sheep pen, and one is squatting in the pig pen/cadence (one sheep is squatting wrong)

14. The sheep called the eagle, and the eagle picked up the phone and said "Hey"/the sheep gave the right to the yin and yin. PHONE eagle "feed")

15. When a hat is dirty, you should turn it inside out before wearing it/wear it with the crown inside (wear it with a dirty crown)

16. Ten men watch five women taking a bath/Colorful

17. Whose house doesn’t have a phone? /天衣(天衣狠phone)

18. Who knows the birds best? /Frightened Bird (Frightened Bird) Zhiniao

22. How to make a sparrow quiet? /Squeeze it (squeeze the bird silently)

23. Which kind of snake has many mouths? / Chatterbox (snake)

25. What medicine is not poisonous? /Yam

26. Why is "seven up and eight down"/seven above eight? Because eight is below seven

27. Which kind of snake has the strongest vitality? /The Immortal Tongue (Snake)

28. Why is there only the tip of the iceberg? /The other corner was broken by the Titanic

1. The little penguin asked his grandma one day, "Grandma, grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin. "The little penguin asked his father again, "Dad, daddy, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong?" "But, why do I feel so cold?"

2. There was a polar bear who had to wear sunglasses to see because the snow was too harsh, but he couldn’t find the sunglasses, so he closed his eyes and crawled around on the ground to look for it, crawling and crawling, using his hands and feet. I was crawling all dirty before I found my sunglasses.

I put on my sunglasses and looked in the mirror, and then I realized: Oh, it turns out I am a panda

3. Xiaobai, Xiaohuang and Xiaolan take a long-distance bus, who will get motion sickness? (Xiaobai Rabbit, dusk)

4. Little White Little White =? Answer: Little White Rabbit (Little White TWO)

5. Which animal is most likely to fall? The fox, because he is the cunningest

6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it. Spider asked: Why? why is that! Butterfly said: My mother said that those who hang out online all day long are not good people.

7. One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: Dad, am I a stupid boy? Dad said: Silly boy, how can you be a stupid boy?

8. One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand on the edge of the valley and shout what you want, and then jump into the valley, you will Get what you want. So the three of them decided to give it a try.

The first one was a pervert, so he shouted "Woman! Woman!" When he jumped down, there were a lot of beauties waiting for him.

The second one One was a bookworm, shouting "Books, books, books, books!" Then he jumped into the valley and got a pit full of books.

The third one was an indecisive person, always unable to think about things. After an hour of deciding on his favorite, he finally made up his mind and felt that banknotes were the most useful, so he walked towards the edge of the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and cursed "shit!" Unexpectedly, there was a sudden change in the center. Unsteady and falling down the valley

9. As for Xiao Ming, he has to take the exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV at night

Xiao Ming’s mother asked worriedly: Have you finished reading all the books? There is an exam tomorrow

Xiao Ming replied readily: Mom, I’ve finished reading.

Xiao Ming’s mother happily praised Xiao Ming: Good boy, you will definitely do well in the exam tomorrow

Xiao Ming cried and said: Mom, I mean, ‘Mom, I see , finished'.

10. The panda loved the deer deeply, but was rejected when he expressed his love. Panda roars ~ Why? Why is all this happening? Xiaolu timidly said: My mother said that those who wear sunglasses are all bad boys.

11. One day Xiao Ming was walking on the road! As I was walking, I suddenly felt my feet were sore! Why is this happening? Because Xiao Ming stepped on a lemon!

12.Which Chinese character is the coolest? Thongs (cool).

13. One day, a university teacher asked a student, there are ten birds in the tree, if one is shot and killed, how many are left?

The student asked: Is it a silent pistol? Wasn't the gunshot loud? 80-100 decibels. Is it illegal to hunt birds in this city? Don't commit. Are you sure that bird was really killed? Sure. At this time, the teacher was already impatient: "Just tell me how many birds are left, okay? Are there any deaf birds in the tree? No. Are there any that are locked in a cage and hung on the tree? No." Are there other trees nearby? Are there any other birds on the trees? If a bird is pregnant, does it count as a baby in the belly? Are there any flowers in the bird's eyes? Ten. The teacher was already sweating, and the bell rang, but the student continued to ask: Are there any birds that are so stupid that they are afraid of death? Will the student be confident? Say: If your answer is not deceptive, "If the bird that was killed hangs on the tree and does not fall off, then there is only one bird left; if it falls off, there is no bird left." "The teacher immediately foamed at the mouth and fell to the ground!

14. One day, someone was passing by the intersection and discovered something super scary. He found that Sesshomaru and Sanzo were actually laughing!`

15. A long time ago, one night, there were three shrimps in the pond. Hahaha, a female ghost farted and died.

16. There was a fat man who jumped from a tall building. Became a dead fat man.

17. There was a boy who was crossing the road and was accidentally crushed by a truck. When he was dying, he looked at his body and said: "It turns out that I am a bean paste stuffing, not "Meat stuffed"

18. The little snake asked the big snake in a panic... "Brother, are we poisonous?" The big snake said, "Why are you asking?" The little snake said, "I just said it." I accidentally bit my tongue."

19. Two people fell into a trap. The dead ones were called dead people, and the living ones were called "help".

20. There once was a swordsman. He was very cold, his heart was very cold, his sword was very cold, and he died of coldness in the end.

21. A deer ran on the road, running faster and faster. , it became a highway

22. There was a tomato that was hit by a stone and smashed, another tomato fell to pieces again, and there was another tomato that smashed. Countless tomatoes fell to pieces and the last tomato also fell over, ah-ta-yeah! Tomato sauce

23. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a landmine during combat? The company commander was very angry: Damn, what can we do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

24. I haven’t heard from you for a long time, and I feel very sad. When I thought about death, I cut my veins with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, jumped over a building with a parachute, and hung myself with noodles. But even if you don't die, just treat me to a meal and wait until I die.

25. The elephant defecated in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by. It looked up at the mist-shrouded peak and couldn't help singing: Yalasuo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

26. When you check in at the railway station but don’t have any paper, don’t worry, the train will remind you: Wipe your pants, wipe your pants, wipe your pants! When you are playing tuba by the river but don’t have any paper, don’t worry, the frog will tell you: stick scrape, stick scrape, stick scrape!

27. Two counterfeiters accidentally made counterfeit bills with a face value of 15 yuan. They decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they took a 15 yuan bill, they bought 1 yuan of candied haws. , they cried, and the farmer gave them two pieces worth 7 yuan.

28. Portrait of your life: When you are ten years old, you learn to take a bath by yourself, and you are clean; when you are twenty, you are shining and prosperous; when you are thirty, you find a job, and you are successful; when you are forty, you hire a servant, Pigs get servants; when they learn to play basketball at the age of fifty, pigs shoot!

29. A person climbed the wall and left the school. He was caught by the principal. The principal asked: Why don't you leave through the school gate? The answer is: Metersbonwe does not take the usual path. The principal asked again: How did you get over such a high wall? He pointed to his pants and said: Li Ning, everything is possible.

The principal asked again: What does it feel like to climb over the wall? He pointed to the shoes and said: Xtep, it feels like flying. On the second day, he entered the school through the main entrance. The principal asked: Why didn't you climb over the wall? He said: Anta, I choose, I like it. On the third day, he wore a gangster costume, and the principal said: You can't wear a gangster costume! He said: You are what you wear, Semir clothing. On the fourth day, he wore a vest to school. The principal said he could not wear a vest to school. He said, men, keep things simple and love Dengbao clothing. The principal said I'm going to give you a serious offense. He said: Why? The principal said, M-Zone, I have the final say on my territory.

Life at 30 is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4,000 yuan from me and said he wanted to have plastic surgery.

As a result, I don’t know him at all now. What has it become? Oh, 4,000 yuan.

31. Note to robbers: Our bank staff only understand Spanish. Please be patient when robbing. It is best to bring a translator with you. Thank you!

32. You are blind. Blinded? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw a stone at my head!

33. I think I should lose weight. The last time I donated blood, a hundred milliliters of lard actually leaked out.

34. Tourist: Master, is that thatched house over there a toilet? Monk: Except for the thatched cottage, the rest of the place is a toilet.

35. The hair is gone and the dandruff is even better!

36. We should keep quiet when listening to sermons in church. It is very impolite to disturb others' sleep.

37. Yesterday I signed up for a weight loss training class. They asked me to wear loose clothes during training. Is this unreasonable? If there are loose clothes, then why should I sign up?

38. My wife and I haven’t spoken for 18 months, and I have no chance to interrupt her.

39. Thief A: Count how much money you robbed today? Thief B: No, I’ll find out by reading the newspaper tomorrow.

40. Stand higher and pee further

41. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

42. Wear other people’s shoes, walk your own path, and let them find it.

43. Late one night, when a young woman was passing by a mental hospital, suddenly a "wow" sound came from behind. The woman turned around and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman was so frightened that she ran away, followed by the man behind her. No, there is a dead end ahead. The woman is desperate. She knelt on the ground and cried and begged: "You can do whatever you want. I just ask you not to kill me." The man smiled slyly and said, "Really? Now you Start chasing me."

44. At a literary evening, the host came to the stage to announce: Please enjoy: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull! Creepy! ! ! ! !

45. If a tiger does not send a cat, you think I am critically ill!

46. A person in our dormitory had to pee after drinking too much and then made a cold remark: If you drink too much pee, you will have too much wine.

47. My sister and I went to Li Ning to buy shoes. My sister said, "Miss, how much do these shoes cost per pound?"

51. In the past, people came to my aunt's house as a guest. Just walked in. It happened that my aunt had to go to the toilet. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "You guys sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!"

52. When I was in college, a classmate and I were arguing about an issue, and I was at a disadvantage for a while. He slapped the table and stood up shouting: You are talking nonsense, I am not stupid! I spit on your face like shit

53. When I was a kid, the popsicle sellers usually pushed bicycles to sell ice cream. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: "The new ice cream is hot." (I guess my aunt used to sell fried cakes and fried dough sticks)

54. When my colleague was arguing with someone, he got anxious and said, "Do you think I grew up eating?" I have always wondered what he ate to grow. Big ones. "

55. Once at KTV, when I asked for a song, I shouted loudly: Order me a song called "Double Jay Chou" by Zhou Jiegun