Singer: Chyi Chin.

Language: Mandarin

Company: Shang Hua Records Company.

Date: 1995.00.00

Pain and happiness

[02] The past is blowing in the wind.

[03]

[04] Stand by and watch

[05] laissez-faire separation

How's this?

[07] Figure

[08] End

[09] Beethoven couldn't hear his own songs.

Pain and happiness ii

Book: painful and happy.

Publisher: Huayi

Author: white author:

Category: Literature-> China literature->; China Literature-Prose

lead

This book is a collection of essays, including what Bai Cong 1989 saw and felt in the past ten years. In the past ten years, Bai has been active in the field of radio and television. Especially after joining the Eastern Space-Time Work, his special status enabled him to be at the forefront of major social events. Through the sketch, Bai seems to have a dialogue with his own mind, and his words are sharp, which is a kind of carefree shock to read. After reading his prose, you will find that "pain and happiness" is not only the present state, but also his understanding of life and the universal state of social existence, and it is also a feeling that he hopes readers will get when reading his works.

catalogue

Vision illusion (generation order)

Farewell to campus: running away in hope and confusion

Living in the country for a year: the experience of doing nothing

Life in Disease: Active Understanding

Newspaper career: the gas station of life

Walking into TV: a slightly accidental encounter

Wandering in Beijing: the life of people around you

Supervision by public opinion: A single spark can start a prairie fire.

Bid for the Olympic Games: Did we just fail?

Returning to negotiations: China's running-in with the world

The Return of Hong Kong: the Excitement of Departure and the Regret of Looking Back

Macao's Return: Comfort at the End of the Century

Stimulation of life: happiness in fear

Flood: buy more medicine and less coffins.

Facing poverty: will we become ordinary in the new century?

Environmental Protection China: What will happen tomorrow?

Rational Emotion: Inner Conflicts Faced Every Day

Reform memory: not personal history

Tears in heaven: the end of life is an exclamation point.

Between question and answer: cherish contact

Life story: Don't ask what life is.

Reading experience: one of the ways to escape from reality

Football life: the second way to escape from reality

Music course: the third way to escape from reality

Being a new father: the best reward in life

Don't say I can: say I can't, I can't.

Me and TV: dating in comfort and worry

The future: 1000 possibilities of life (postscript)

order

Vision illusion (generation order)

First, many things are extremely sacred when they happen in imagination, but when real things happen, people are disappointed to find that they are not as magical and spectacular as they think. With the advent of the new millennium, this is the case. People all over the world designed various scenes for this day a long time ago. Therefore, we people have been waiting for this day with a countdown mentality. In my fantasy, I am a little excited. After all, I bid farewell to a century and a thousand years, with the prefix "1". But we soon found that this so-called magical moment is more like a selling point planned by businesses and media. In the eyes of ordinary people, this night may be no different from peacetime. However, I am a reporter, so even if I want to sleep that night, my job doesn't allow me to do so. I am destined to cheer up and welcome the new millennium. At 24: 00199965438+February 3 1, it means that the bell is ringing at the beginning of the new Millennium, and I have no time to get excited and sigh. The live broadcast around us is going on, and the next link is about to begin. So, at this sacred moment, I, with a quiet heart, played a screw role in my work, and then passed a few hours quickly.

But the new millennium has come after all. Before that, we were all like travelers climbing mountains. The road we have traveled is extremely steep, and the road paved with ideals, blood, life and tears is extremely difficult. We didn't know the initial situation because we were on the road in the second half. After a while, the peak of a century and a thousand years is just around the corner. So, we encourage each other, come on. There are still 10 years, come on, there are still 9 years, come on ... 5 years, 3 years, 1 year. Under the traction of the countdown, we cheer for each other. Originally, I thought this mountain top was a place to rest, but when I came up, I found it was just a new horizon. There is also a mountain top ahead, with a misty middle. We don't know what the road is like. We all know pessimistically that the next mountain top is invisible to most of us on the horizon. No matter how beautiful and desolate it is, it is a landscape in the eyes of future generations. But that doesn't mean we will stop. The horizon is never just for starting. We can simply review it, then dust it off, and it's time to hit the road again.

People keep saying: we are really lucky, because we have caught up with the golden turn of the Millennium and the turn of the century that many people have not experienced. I never seem to agree with such a lucky view. A thousand years is too long, and we people don't even have the right to look back and be filled with emotion. However, facing a century, it seems that we are barely qualified to talk about it. So, I think, people walk in the middle of the century, very confused, that's all. But when we catch up with the turn of the century, it seems inevitable to look back, calculate the distance and calculate the gains and losses. It doesn't matter if you turn around. Looking back at the pictures is certainly shocking. Then I began to rejoice: after all, this hundred years have passed, and when the bell of the new century rings, the unbearable picture quietly closes. Memories can be covered up, but the pain in my heart when I look back will last for a long time on the road of the new century. Is this "luck" at the turn of the century?

In an accidental listening, I found a song "Jue" by Taiwan Province singer Chyi Yu. When we were in middle school, we all learned Lin Juemin's henpecked. As a hero who overthrew the old system, what a hero Lin Juemin was. Before dying, I can leave my wife a suicide note with righteous words, which will be passed down to future generations.

Then we all remembered the dead Lin Juemin and forgot the living wife of Lin Juemin. What kind of life did Lin Juemin lead after she died? Chyi Yu's song Jue is a song sung to Lin Juemin from the perspective of Lin Juemin's wife. Of course, the only people who really listen to this song are us who only remember Lin Juemin but forget his wife. "Love no longer begins, but only stops at the beginning. I think I have been loved for some time ... who gave you the right to choose and let you leave like this? Who turned my endless efforts into names on paper? Now, when I am so lonely, I still have to believe that the moment is eternal. " After singing, the listener couldn't come back for a long time. In the past century, in the name of revolution, sons, husbands and fathers died in battle or other places, and then in various classics, we all chanted their names over and over again. However, how did their wives and mothers spend the rest of their lives neglected?

I still don't feel qualified to say anything so far away. I just feel sad for many mothers and wives in the past century from the perspective of a son and husband. No matter how much suffering has passed, most of those wives and mothers have followed their husbands and sons and reunited in another world. Therefore, no matter how much sympathy we give today, it is a little Monday morning quarterback. Therefore, writing here can only be a daze, more for the future wife and mother.

The topic of mother should have ended, but because the "revolution" or "movement" lasted for a long time in China, even a young man in his thirties began to have the right to talk about a topic related to his mother that he had personally experienced. From 65438 to 0978, a memorial service was held for his father from Hailar in the northeast to Jining in the west of Inner Mongolia. When I arrived in Jining, many of my mother's former colleagues saw me with strange expressions. I was scared by a radish head. Later, I learned from my mother that my parents were branded as "my wife's party" during the Cultural Revolution. So, just two months after I was born, I began to live in the bullpen with my parents. Every night, I cry. I am crying here, my parents' cowshed friends are crying in other rooms, and the names of radish heads are blurted out by adults. Anyone who knows that I have such an experience will give me a sympathetic word: childhood is hard enough. I seem to disagree. When I was young and ignorant, I shouldn't complain about most of the sufferings I experienced, because I didn't know it myself, and there wasn't even a trace in my memory. At that time, the real pain should be adults. I have been thinking about how desperate my mother should be, because every night in the bullpen, my ignorant crying caused the adults to cry. There are many such mothers in China. Do they still need comfort after a long time? How can we comfort them if necessary?

The arrival of the seventh century has quietly closed all these memories. People who stand on the horizon will certainly spend more time looking forward. This is by no means a new beginning to forget the past. It can even be said that if you don't look back, you won't be able to walk the road ahead. As a journalist in my thirties, I am not qualified to talk about what happened a long time ago. Some of what I just said is just childish, because in my body, the real memory that can be written can only start from 1989. That year, I walked out of the campus. For every graduate, this change means challenge and excitement, but that year, many of us didn't.

This country is going through a shock. In a short time, no one can see clearly ahead, so they have to rise and fall on the big ship of society. No matter how young I was, my role was already a reporter, and no matter how optimistic and desperate people around me were, it was not a career that I could live alone. Therefore, I have to keep my eyes open and move forward with this country in 65,438+00 years.

I remember very clearly that 1989 just after the Spring Festival, I left home in a hurry and ran back to school to meet my good college classmates. I had a good time. At that time, home was a bondage, and the outside world of society was the stage for our performance. If I stay at home for one more day, I will feel bored even breathing. 1999 During the Spring Festival, I spent the Spring Festival at my wife's house in Zhenjiang, Jiangsu. That Spring Festival, I had a quiet time, visiting famous temples, having a cup of tea and chatting. The days passed in the blink of an eye in comfort, and finally it was time to leave home and start a new job in Beijing. But at this moment, I suddenly feel unhappy about the end of this long family life like a primary school student who doesn't want to go to school. In fact, at this time, I am not escaping from Beijing or work, but the struggle, competition, depression and mental exhaustion necessary in this kind of work in this city. I want to leave home as soon as possible since I was 2 1 year old. By the age of 3 1, I was a little tired of the outside world. It only took 10 years to change. Only then did I really understand the song 10 years ago: the outside world is wonderful and the outside world is helpless.

Someone must ask me, why is your book called Pain and Happiness? First of all, I must declare that the combination of these five words is not my original creation, it comes from the name of an album in Chyi Chin. 1989 We left the campus with songs by Cui Jian and Chyi Chin. Cui Jian means that we face the society, and Chyi Chin tells us that we are lonely inside. For many of us, the word Chyi Chin is no longer a singer's name, but a memory switch. In Chyi Chin's songs, he has many wonderful creations that deeply touched us, and the lyrics or melodies are always close to us. In his series of albums, "Pain and Happiness" is not particularly outstanding. After listening to this album, what impressed me most was not which song or melody, but the title of this album: Pain and Happiness.

When I started writing this book, I thought of many names, but suddenly from one day on, the words "pain and happiness" stuck stubbornly in my mind. At the same time, it is strange that the old saying that "the name is not justified" has been answered. Since I default these five words as the title of the book, the pen in my hand has become fluent. I understand that these five words are the leaders of my words, and they met happily.

Looking back on the past 10 years and carefully examining the mental journey of each of us, you will easily find that pain and happiness are closely intertwined. Every step is so difficult, and sometimes I even feel that I can't persist. There will naturally be pain in this process. However, we persisted, and the painful past, no matter the country, the nation or the individual, took another step forward. Happiness appeared when we looked back and saw a forward trajectory. The wheel of reform is spinning fast. As the economic data changes, so does our mood. The word "calm" has become a bit extravagant. But in the restless rotation, we experience pain for a while and feel happy for a while. Everyone in China has to let his mind ride on a roller coaster that bumps up and down. Fortunately, however, pain and happiness are closely intertwined. If there is only pain without happiness and hope, after a few steps, people will fall into despair in the dark and refuse to move forward. And life is only happiness without pain, which can only be in the future of hope, except in the brains of fools. Pain and happiness come and go in our hearts, which will probably be the spiritual fate of several generations of China people. As long as every time we look back, we can happily see that China and each of us are advancing, then the pain of every step will be much more tolerable.

In fact, we have no choice.

As a journalist, I have gone through 10 years in the years when pain and happiness are intertwined. Like everyone else, every step on the news stage needs to be adhered to, and the feeling of despair appears from time to time, but it is all over. After rushing up, I suddenly turned around and smiled at myself and many people around me. We clearly see the footprints of progress. So we are always optimistic. Although today's situation is far from perfect, compared with the past, it is a happy result to make such great progress.

It is in this often optimistic and self-righteous sense of accomplishment that one day we were defeated by others. In the winter of 1998, our column "The Son of the East" is going to shoot a scholar, and the lines between the lines are also familiar to us. Because of his strong spirit of introspection and critical consciousness, he stands out among the voices of Nuo Nuo-only theory, naturally becoming the darling of his classmates around him, and of course being respected by us. Therefore, it is a good wish to invite him to join our column. Everything went well, and we began to follow the filming. One day, I filmed his speech for college students. There are many people in the classroom, and the air is full of freedom. During the conversation, the scholar said to the students, "I used to study journalism, but I was ashamed to associate with journalism ..." The crowd was a little excited when the voice fell, but this sentence hit us like a bullet. I understand the meaning of this scholar's words, perhaps because he was endowed with too much dark consciousness in the past special years, so he didn't see that today's press is undergoing difficult but continuous changes. Therefore, being hit by a scholar's sharp words, I felt a kind of pain at first, but after the pain, I especially wanted to tell the scholar that if satire, anger and extremism can solve all the problems in China, I will definitely choose swearing as my career. In China, however, anger can't help. Only difficult change is the best way to create an ideal China. Even in this tenacity, you will be wronged and even humiliated. I still respect this scholar very much, because daring to tell the truth is a necessary virtue for thinkers, but please ask him to slowly bring journalists into the ranks of his peers. Only when the team grows, the change will be faster, and China will take on a new look as soon as possible.

In the interview, you can always hear some words of wisdom. For example, when interviewing a minister, he talked about a message from an old man about his post. Three words, "Don't worry!" The minister said that in the past, young people were full of energy, many things were not implemented in place, and their ideals could not be realized quickly, so they were anxious and angry, but gradually they finally understood that many things have a tortuous process, so they should persist and be patient. So, "don't worry" became an epigram in his heart. I think these three words should also be given to all those who care about the future of China. Don't worry, it's not that you don't want to make progress, but that you can withstand repeated or in-situ pacing when you want to make progress. Don't worry, it's not really worrying. Look at the winding road in China, and see the figures that we are behind others. Don't worry, just in the face of this reality, you no longer dream of changing everything overnight. For a country like China, the result of such worries can only be the opposite of making this changeable country move towards the ideal of all people. This is ... So, don't worry, just be patient and push China forward step by step through gradual changes. As long as we keep moving forward, even though there are still many difficulties and obstacles on the road, China's tomorrow will still be our dream China.

Direction is more important than speed.

It is only a short time before the bell of the first 13 new millennium rings. I believe that most of us are standing on the horizon, some are at a loss and feel uneasy inside. No one will know what the road ahead will be like. In the last century, China people came with tears diluted by laughter. Therefore, standing on the horizon of the new century, we have reason to gain more and dream more in the new century. Generation after generation, no matter what kind of blows and twists and turns they have experienced, they will devote more hope and singing to the future. Although there will still be war, deception, tears and disappointment in the new century, it is best for China people who have just turned their dreams of prosperity into reality that we can laugh more than tears, enjoy more than pain, and peace will always outweigh deception and hypocrisy in this new century. I don't think this should be an excessive request. Everything starts from the horizon under our feet today. In the past 20 years, we have set up the best starting line for today with the strength of pain and happiness. At the dawn of the new century, the fog is still heavy, and the front is as blurred as ever, but let's go! Go ahead, there is hope.