60 points is a relaxing score, but it is also not an easy score to obtain. This is what Winnicott, the third male parenting guru, put forward.

Winnicott was probably the first psychoanalyst to pay attention to the needs of infants and young children. He not only regarded infants and young children as "complete individuals", but also pointed out "the importance of the environment in the subject's life." . The environment first refers to the mother. Based on the "environmental theory", Winnicott observed real life and extracted theories and principles during his professional career. The purpose was to help parents guide their children's growth, or to identify in time the most important factors in the growth process. moment.

Winnicott had many influential theories. For example, he believed that there is no such thing as an isolated baby; instead, the baby depends on its mother for its existence. Mother is the original environment, and Winnicott invented the adjective "good enough" to define mother. The so-called good enough mother is the mother who dedicates herself and strives to be the best she can. She may have some shortcomings, but she will work hard to make up for them. His concept of good enough does not actually impose special standards and requirements on mothers. A good-enough mother is an ordinary mother, a mother who foresees the underlying natural processes in her children.

Winnicott also created the concepts of "true self" and "false self" (also translated as "true self" and "false self" by some scholars). The true self requires a certain amount of false self in order to continue to exist. This is similar to the function of a mask. Winnicott emphasized the importance of the mother as environment, but did not neglect the role of the father. The father is always present and can be a "maternal surrogate" and can also perform protective functions for the mother/infant.

Winnicott also had creative views on "transitional space" and "transitional object", which echoed the Chinese Laozi and Zhuangzi's thoughts on silent space in a cultural and spiritual sense. Mother and child live in space. Space here refers to the external space of interpersonal relationships and the inner psychological space exclusive to individuals. Winnicott believed that the growth of children, mothers and other adults also requires a hypothetical space, which is the "third space", also known as the "transitional space". Anne Lafleur, an expert on Winnicott, believes that transitional space is a buffer space that exists between the external world and the internal world. This space can be created by the child and the mother or mother's surrogate together, where exchange and communication can occur and continue.

Transitional space is one of Winnicott's most important discoveries. Space is not only a conceptual existence, but also has transitional topics, transitional phenomena and transitional activities. Each has its own definition and function. Among them, the transitional object is particularly important for the child. It can replace the mother in quiet time, can deal with anxiety and calm people; can allow the child's aggression to continue; and also allows the practice of manipulating reality.

What is the significance of Winnicott to today’s young parents? Anne Lafleur once pointed out that the connection he established between fantasy, dreaming and life can help people understand the impact of the virtual world on young people and today's world.