The general idea is that if a person is too naive and the newborn calf is not afraid of tigers, it is easy to put himself in a dilemma. If it is too familiar, it will become an "old fritter", and everything will be shirked, which will eventually make things accumulate and cause an out-of-control situation.

In reality, these two kinds of people often cause a lot of unnecessary "arguments".

Why?

Because these two kinds of people are either ignorant or don't want to face the problem directly, it is inevitable to argue with each other.

For example, most of the time, you put forward a "reason" and another person can only disassemble it, so you will come up with a "reason" that you think can cover the other person, or even draw another "reason" on this new "reason" and extend it, and finally forget the original problem itself, resulting in a meaningless scene.

Moreover, people who are too self-centered tend to be "unreasonable" and bury themselves in the "Lei Zi" of disputes and hidden dangers, while people who habitually avoid problems will inevitably let problems accumulate and even harm others and themselves, which will eventually lead to both losses.

So life is only a few decades, and the rest of everyone's life is very expensive. Please avoid unnecessary "arguments".

What's more, in reality, life itself is not just a question of who is right and who is wrong.

In other words, in a person's life, "right" is not very useful, and "wrong" itself is not a heinous crime. Everything is just some kind of human cognition, which will change with time.

Therefore, from this perspective, right or wrong is not important, what is really important is to solve the "contradiction".

Solving "contradictions" requires wisdom, rather than obsessing about who is right and who is wrong.

So, how to avoid unnecessary "war of words"?

In fact, we should avoid "verbal warfare", just like the old man said, "Be a man, see you later", which means that no matter how you behave and do things, you should leave room for others and yourself. Otherwise, exposing other people's motives in public and leaving no room for others to go down the stairs will definitely lead to anger against dialects, and even involve many problems such as "verbal warfare".

Therefore, in order to truly avoid the "dispute between words and tongues", we must be humble, modest, convergent and low-key, rather than obsessing about right and wrong.

The so-called "comity" means altruism is self-interest. You let others get one point, and then others will give you three points. Give others a way, and you leave yourself an extra way.

The so-called "modesty" emphasizes the quality of being a man, and modesty can get help from others more easily.

The so-called "convergence" means doing things by hook or by crook, not to mention hurting the interests of others.

The so-called "low-key" emphasizes that even if you are reasonable, don't belittle others, let alone show yourself too much.

Of course, only by doing this, or paying attention to comparing your words and deeds with these standards, can we avoid unnecessary "arguments between words and tongues" in reality.

Therefore, the rest of your life is very expensive. Please don't get caught up in meaningless "arguments".

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The materials in this paper are mainly quoted from The Analects of Confucius, Zhuangzi, Tanjing, Tao Te Ching, Sit for a while, A Dream of Red Mansions, Jin Ping Mei, The Abandoned Capital, Alone, Life Philosophy Record, Plato said so, Historical Records, Wang Yangming's Complete Works, and Wang Yangming's Works.