01

There is a saying: "Endure the calm for a while, and take a step back to open up the world."

I believe everyone is familiar with this sentence, and is even familiar with it, because it has grown up with us and may also grow old with us. What it tells us is: Patience is a virtue.

Since it is a virtue, and it is a virtue taught earnestly by our parents, teachers, friends and other people closest to us, we must follow it without hesitation and put it into practice. Therefore, I have never doubted the correctness of this sentence, accepted it completely, and regarded it as a wise saying and life creed, and applied it to my life.

I have been taught to be a good child since I was a child. The standard for a good child is to be obedient and listen to adults. So when adults kept instilling in me the idea of ??"bearing peace for a while, taking a step back, the world will be brighter". , I can only say "yes" and "yes", and silently say in my heart, "Patience is the right thing to do", "Be patient and it will be over".

02

I not only keep this wise saying in mind, but also practice it in real life. I am the middle child in my family, and I have never gotten along with my sister since I was a child. We have been quarreling and fighting for three days, fighting over snacks and grabbing the remote control, but I have never won. Every time I cry and complain to my mother, she doesn’t buy it. I pretended to teach my sister a lesson, and then told me, "If you can't beat me, you have to learn to be patient and don't fight with your sister." My sister is well-behaved and sensible in front of my mother, but I am a naughty one, so even if my sister is wrong sometimes, my mother will take it for granted that I am being naughty and willful. In my family, the title "sister" has never been an advantage.

When I got to school, I was one of the oldest children in the class, but I was very weak. When I had an argument with the children in the class and was bullied, the teacher would say: "You are the oldest." "Sister, just give in" and "You are a sensible child, you must learn to be tolerant and patient", and then make the student who beats me cry stand still or copy the text and that's it. It solves the student's trivial matters very easily. When the teacher saw The class was having so much fun that I couldn't help but smile knowingly.

The teacher said, "Everyone has the right to be forgiven." My mother said, "Be patient and it will be over." I rehearsed these words in my mind countless times and kept silent when I encountered bullying. Swallow the grievances into your stomach. But behind the scenes that adults can't see, the bullying continues. My sister will grab my things even more recklessly, and those classmates who have been punished are waiting for me on the way to school.

I am a child who grew up with patience, but patience does not let everything pass like that and stop the hurt. My patience actually breeds my cowardice and their arrogance, but I never realized it when I was a child. Even when I grow up, I still follow the wise words taught to me by people around me: Patience is a virtue. In the end, some people even want to bully and occupy my dignity and my only freedom.

03

When I first entered college, I was eager to establish friendship with my roommates, so I lowered my profile and got along with everyone in a nearly flattering manner. But by doing so, I did not gain the respect and love of my roommates, nor did I maintain true harmony in the dormitory. What’s sad is that roommate A speaks ill of me behind my back, and she often embarrasses me in public, but after thinking about it carefully, I have never offended her. My upbringing told me not to quarrel or destroy the harmony of the dormitory, so I endured it and did not conflict with her head-on. Even if I felt wronged and wanted to cry, I would just digest it silently in my heart, or run to the bottom floor of the library and whisper sobbing.

But my patience did not calm down Roommate A. Instead, she became more and more arrogant, and said those mocking words directly in front of me. Finally one day, I couldn't bear it anymore and expressed my dissatisfaction seriously in front of my roommates and accused her of going too far.

The quarrels in the dormitory returned to calm. I thought I would be hated by my roommates from now on, but it didn’t happen. Instead, we got closer and closer. Roommate A actually started to please me. She even I told others that some were afraid of me.

It was then that I realized that what adults taught me when I was a child was wrong.

Patience is not a virtue. Implicit patience will only make you look like a doormat and make you easier to bully. Anger is the real virtue. Anger shows your sincerity, attitude and personality. It tells others from another level that you are not so easy to bully, that you can think and have an attitude, and then they will fear and respect you from the bottom of their hearts. You, instead of spitting on you.

04

Don’t choose to be patient and refuse to get angry because you are afraid of quarreling or want to maintain the current intact state. If you persist in doing so, it will only make others feel that you are angry. You don't seem to care about anything, no matter what happens to you, you don't care at all. So sometimes it is necessary for us to express our thoughts and attitudes with anger. Even if anger leads to quarrels and destroys your existing relationship, it is still better than patience and saying nothing, because patience brings The deterrent power is terrible.

Patience is not a virtue, it is a time bomb with hidden power that may explode one day. When a person is bullied, if he chooses to be patient and withdraw, the other person will only press forward step by step and bully you again and again for his pleasure, and your heart will be hurt as the number of times you are bullied increases. Deepen it bit by bit, and finally plant the seeds of hatred in your heart. Those patience and grievances will be the best nourishment for this seed. Every time you tolerate it, it will thrive. When one day you can't bear it anymore, The bomb went off, how terrible.

According to many perverted murder cases reported in the news, many murderers were bullied when they were young. Because they were weak, they had to swallow their anger and let the bullying take hold. In the end, hatred took root in their hearts and they grew up. After becoming mentally deformed, he launched crazy revenge on others, leading to one tragedy after another.

05

When can patience achieve the results you want? Patience only works when the other person realizes their mistake and sincerely repentes. If the person standing opposite you is an idiot, the word "patience" may be what he wants to hear most and what he wants you to do most. Patience will fuel his arrogance, become his helper to push him further, and push him onto a self-aggrandizing "nirvana" or an unhealthy path. Such patience is not good at all.

According to my observation, if the people involved ignore the online violence that exists on Weibo and tolerate the ignorance of keyboard warriors and trolls, the situation will only get worse. They will scold and carry out personal attacks without restraint. , or even reveal your privacy, affecting your family and friends. If you express anger, retaliate and treat the other person the same way, or send a lawyer's letter and statement to take up legal weapons to defend yourself. With the right, those with malicious intentions will no longer dare to act rashly, and slander and attacks will become less and less, because they also begin to be afraid.

This world is like this. No matter what you do, whether it is right or wrong, if you don’t like you, everything about you will be denied. So instead of being patient, it is better to express anger, which can let others understand your attitude and that you are an independent and dignified individual.

Taiwanese writer Lin Yihan said: Patience is not a virtue. Treating patience as a virtue is the way this hypocritical world maintains its distorted order. Anger is a virtue. I think so.