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Wu Zongxian's Quotes

My sister-in-law makes dumplings, and they are really delicious~~~

A man eats dumplings, and they are really delicious~~~

What you eat is dumplings in your mouth. What I am thinking about is my sister-in-law~~~

Men are beasts and women prefer small animals

Ghosts are dead and everyone is ghosts who are not yet dead

Yangtze River The wave behind pushes the wave ahead, and the wave in front dies on the beach

Haha, it’s scary to come down,,,,,,

The teacher and the madam can’t tell the difference ``

My husband, Lao Wang, can’t tell the difference~

Awesome, hell

I like to eat watermelon very much... My friends will bring me a watermelon every time they come to my house. .. But once my friend came to my house and I was hospitalized... because he forgot to bring watermelon and only brought a watermelon knife... This story tells us a truth... that is, if you owe someone money, you must pay it back. .

In today's society, only naked bodies and corpses are left.

Excuse me: I fell ill after being exposed to the rain. What disease did I get?

What did a fat man become after falling from a building?

Answer: Dead fat man

Drinking too much goat milk glycol will cause diarrhea (diarrhea)< /p>

There are two types of people I hate most, one is racist people (others started cheering) and the other is black people.

If you don’t want to be worshiped by others, don’t be worshiped except by yourself

Said Aya, “You are truly unprecedented”, implying that Aya has no breasts and no butt! !

I am really not Leehom Wang~~~~~~~~

Who do you think I look like?

Andy Lau!

Once upon a time, there was no water in the sea, but the people of the past have become Yellow Cranes and gone, leaving the Yellow Crane Tower empty here. Give Zhiling a hug and stop giving me marks. . . Be careful not to step on my red VIP. .

Men rely on eating, and women rely on sleeping. If they don’t eat or sleep, they will be scrapped immediately

there comes a bear

A bear will come (come prepared)< /p>

You said I have a big head? Tinker Bell is my master, and Zhang Yu is still my eldest brother!

Say: Old Wu, you are already behind the times! Answer: Andy, we have gone out of fashion

Said he is short. Answer: I am okay, Brother Gua will always be my eldest brother. If I are considered short, wouldn’t Jiaojiao have to hang himself!

Abao is here to tell us how to use the pressure cooker correctly!

Look at Mike’s face turning dark with anger!

You are really expert! I am the director, A Yong A! But how does this help in life? Don’t avoid relatives when doing internal affairs, and don’t avoid suspicion when doing external affairs. If you don’t do it... then you need to see a doctor. !There are so many friends from the spirit world!

Come some of the music.

You are comfortable, I am comfortable.

Woman The first time I finished it was half-pushed, half-done.

I often extend a "helping" (round) hand because I am Doraemon

They say I am short, Humph, as long as a man is lying taller than a woman, that's it! !

Whenever you see a domineering woman, you will call her mother,,,, "If you have breasts, you will be a mother"

Count down 20 seconds to reveal the answer~~ 19 18 17 ~~ 5 4 3 ~< /p>

Do you have a boyfriend?

Not yet~

What about behind the scenes?

......

Six behind the scenes...

If I lied, A Kang would be hit by a car and killed when he went out!

I can't give her happiness, but I can give her comfort.

I can’t give her a lifetime, but I can give her once.

What you eat during the day is soft food, but you work hard at night!

If a man is not responsible, he still has to pay!

~~~We are discussing the teacher

(Xian)~That’s it! If you don’t study hard, you will skip class and find a dozen people to beat the teacher together!

(Ya)~Brother Xian, what are you angry about?

(Xian)~No~~I am recalling my life in high school

If a woman is not drunk, a man has no chance. . Men don't get drunk, women don't tip.

1. Ah Ya: In the new year, we wish Brother Xian that his head will get bigger and bigger!

Xian: (Staring at Ah Ya’s breasts) People wish us to get bigger and bigger, so we wish it to get smaller and smaller...

Ah Ya: Let’s make peace in the New Year, Okay?

Xian: Do you know what is the most surprising thing to catch on the mountain?

Catch an adulterer!

Xian: The grass in the woods is moving around. There are three possibilities: the first type is black bear, the second type is mountain rat, and the third type is the most powerful one, lovers...

Female: I want to act like a baby too..

Xian: Really? You don’t have to act like a baby, we are all weak...

Female: Brother Xian, come here Here, can I act coquettishly with you?

Xian: No, I can’t walk over, it’s inconvenient to move, my jeans are too tight...

Xian: A man and a woman are coming out On a date for dinner, the woman suddenly wanted to fart. Because she had just met and was afraid of embarrassing herself,

so she said to the man, "I will imitate the sound of an eagle. Do you think it sounds like it," so she imitated the call of an eagle

p>

I took the opportunity to fart. Then I asked the man if it looked like it? Does it look like it? The man said, you farted

How could I hear it when the sound was so loud?

Ah Ya: Welcome Miss Lin Liwen to take over today!

Xian: Do you know what this is called? It’s a matter of feeling, right? I can’t say too much today

Because Qian Pei is also here.

p>

Ah Ya: It’s amazing, two sisters-in-law came today. You are really in a dilemma, you have three wives and four concubines.

Xian: I would have done it by myself without you. Now I do it by myself, I do it with my hands. (Changed to Jay Chou's "Can't Open My Mouth")

(Female guest sang on the roof with Wu Zongxian)

Xian: You just sang with me After singing, do you regret having a boyfriend too early?

Female: . . . No, no, more determined.

Guest: Hello everyone! We are Wangfu!

Xian: This is your second album, right? We thought we would never see you again after the first one...

Guest: . . .

Xian: Let’s introduce the heroine of this super bad movie... Ah Ya!

Ah Ya: Ah... don’t attack me anymore, don’t attack me anymore..

Xian: I tell you, wherever you walk, you will leave traces, Detective II This movie will stay with you until the day you enter your grave.

It’s too late. Who told you to act in this super bad movie just for a little remuneration...

p>

Haha, haha. By the way, let me let you know today that the director of this bad movie is me!

Ah Ya: You are the one who deserves the most criticism

Xian: It doesn’t matter, I’ll let you make the sequel

Ah Ya: . . .

Ah Ya: justin, do you have a girlfriend now?

justin: (Ask S.H.E next to him) Can you talk?

Xian: Oh, I know Yes, the company has regulations and you can’t talk about it, does that mean it’s true?

Ah Ya: Doesn’t that mean that it means admitting it is true?

Xian: You need to learn from S.H.E. They are OK, they don’t care anyway, they are natural and whatever they say is OK

So, do you have a girlfriend?

justin: Yes

Ah Ya: You see, you were deceived by us under our constant temptation

Xian: No, no. They are naturalists. You are different and you cannot admit it.

< p>Because there is a supervisor in your company, we will add a new scene, justin, do you have a girlfriend?

justin: No

(The whole audience laughed wildly)

< p>Xian: Do you think the production unit is a charity? He will broadcast the two segments together

justin: . . .

Children, uncle asked you, is your mother often away from home?

Go to work

Go to work. Did the aunt next door come to see Dad when you were at work?

Wu: My whole body is soft, only one place is hard

Ya Qian Hua: Only the liver is hard

Hey, Xiang Hua, see you You are such a big-headed idiot~

Confucius had three disciples: Zigong, Zilu, and Ziyou. Which one of them is not a human being? Zilu, because it refers to a deer as a horse (Zilu means a horse)

Which kind of snake has many mouths? Talkative (snake)

There are ten sheep, nine are squatting in the sheep pen, and one is squatting in the pig pen and cadences (one sheep is squatting wrong)

The one who repels you the most Who is this person? Large intestine, because you are stool.

Brother Xian: The name of the next person is Milk, Milk, that’s amazing (Brother Xian means big breasts) The result is a girl with small breasts. Brother Xian: Isn’t it milk? Oh~~~It turned out to be milk powder~~~

As soon as Kangkang finished speaking, they started to fight. Brother Xian kicked Aya and hit Kangkang. Kangkang: Aya, you need to test to see if there is any Pregnant, because at that moment, we were united for two seconds~~~

Kangkang: You also had an advertisement recently, with a set of condoms. Brother Xian: Why did you ask me to shoot this advertisement? Woolen cloth? Kangkang said directly: Because you messed around~~~

Hey, be careful.

Otherwise, Kangkang will come out and bite you