Tell me a bloody lesson.

In July, 15, a fellow villager+friend wanted to buy a house, so he just had enough money, so he lent him 1, yuan. At that time, he claimed to pay it back at the end of the year with interest. At that time, I didn't take it too seriously, saying that it would be good to use it.

at the end of that year, he told me that money was tight now, so I couldn't pay it back for the time being. I said you can use it first if it's okay.

at the end of 16 years, I wanted to change rooms, and I needed this account at that time, so I contacted him, hoping to return it within 2 months, because the seller was waiting. He replied yes, and after two months, he only paid back 2 thousand. At that time, I almost aborted the plan to buy a house.

in March, 17, I told him that I hoped to repay the debt in the same month, which was urgent. He told me that there was something wrong with his business, so he couldn't pay that much for the time being, so he could only pay back another 1 thousand. Later, after repeated reminders, I just didn't come back.

In May of 17, I heard from my friend that he had moved, so I contacted him quickly and said I hoped to get the rest of the money back in June. He shirked that at present, he is short of money and can only pay back 1 thousand. Otherwise, he will sell his car and house. I told him that there was nothing I could do, because when I changed rooms, I also borrowed money from outside, saying that I would return it to others in June this year, and I didn't want to be urged. As a result, I didn't reply to the message for more than half a year.

in January of 18, I contacted him again, but he didn't reply. I can't contact you by phone, SMS, WeChat or QQ. I'm a little anxious. I'm worried I won't hide my account, right? Leave a message to him quickly, and send it to him as soon as I know the experience of more than ten years, his promise when he bought a house and borrowed money at that time, and his feelings of asking for accounts over the years. I said that it is not easy for adults to make friends, and I don't want to end up unhappy and have to go to court, which will be ugly. He later replied that he was raising money and waiting for another week. As a result, a week passed and there was no news. Two weeks later, there was still no news. Finally, I called his wife directly (got it from other friends) and said that I had changed houses for 16 years and was short of money, so I had to recover my foreign debt now. It's been so long now, and there's still no following, which makes my friend very hurt. Why don't you try again and see if you can get it together in two months? His wife is a simple person, saying that if you give us a month, we will find a way. In March and May, he transferred the remaining money to me (without interest). Then WeChat, telephone and QQ blacked me out.

I borrowed money for 15 years, but I didn't recover it until 18 years, without interest, and finally I became a stranger. This is what I get when I lend money to others.

Since then, I have made a rule: no one will borrow money except my parents, brothers and sisters. Even the best friends, thousands can, others don't. I don't want to go back, the feeling of urging people to pay their debts is really too difficult!

Confucius said, "A gentleman is moderate; The villain is anti-mean. " The same is true of borrowing money. It is easy to be a villain against the golden mean, and the golden mean is a gentleman. How to handle the matter of borrowing money well in order to achieve "gentleman's moderation"?

everyone thinks he is a gentleman, so who is a villain? Anti-moderation. Let's take a look at the anti-moderation scene first.

1. Because of self-interest and good looks, they borrow all kinds of money, and some even borrow it themselves to borrow money and then borrow it, which has gone to an almost pathological extreme. Historical experience shows that it is the grandson who borrows money and the uncle who owes money. The implication is that most of the borrowed money will not be returned. As a result, unconsciously, my money was borrowed, which affected my mood and the survival of the whole family. This kind of person obviously opposes the doctrine of the mean, and the end is miserable. In the end, it is unpleasant, and even a fist lawsuit seems generous at first, but the ending is very close to the villain. Selfishness is a villain.

2. Drawing lessons from history, you don't borrow any money, which seems to save yourself and avoid future right and wrong, but you ignore what money is. Money is an important bridge between people. A gives money to B, and B gives goods to A. This goods may be commodities, friendship and fate. If you don't borrow any money, it is equivalent to breaking some important friendship or fate. People depend on each other in the world, and no one can be happy on his own.

Therefore, the money that can bring benefits is still borrowed. How to judge which kind of money can bring benefits?

1. Compared with the total wealth, the amount of money borrowed is not large, so it is just as well to lend it generously. Even if this kind of money is not repaid, the loss is not big. However, it is reasonable to refuse on the grounds that it has not been repaid before, and no one will blame it. This is one of the golden mean. For the sake of small public interests, public interests are a gentleman.

2. If the other party is in trouble, ask for help, and you have enough ability, you might as well do some charity, especially for poor scholars and children. This kind of money can be counted in the memory of your life. The gratitude brought by this kind of charity is often huge, and the future return is often unpredictable. There are many historical bridges. Without examples, this is the second golden mean. For the sake of public interests, public interests are gentlemen.

3. Generous donation, which has gone beyond borrowing, is essentially borrowing. Unlike giving charcoal in the snow, no one borrows it, but giving it on their own initiative, such as the Wenchuan earthquake, and donating money to the sixth ancestor Huineng to support his mother and let the sixth ancestor feel at ease. These are typical generosity, which belongs to borrowing a lot and does not ask for anything in return. This is the third golden mean, for the sake of the public's heart.

brainstorming, we will also think of other moderate scenarios, here are three examples.

"the gentleman is moderate; The villain is anti-mean. " Confucius' words, after careful analysis, are still very reasonable in borrowing money. I hope everyone will do good deeds and become a gentleman.

lead: "whatever the relationship, as long as you borrow money, don't borrow it." When I suddenly heard this, I felt a little unreasonable and biased; But I think: this sentence is a painful lesson summed up by countless kind people with blood and tears in today's society. They say this sentence to warn the most kind people in social life who are affectionate, generous and helpful, but have no precautions against "Lao Lai"!

In this commodity economy society, traditional ideology and morality are gradually sneered at by some people, who want to get rich overnight and live a luxurious and luxurious life. However, they don't want to work hard and earn money. As a result, they lived a life of borrowing money for consumption. After a long time, I refused to pay back the money, and began to be a rogue and refused to pay back the money.

In this way, the word "Lao Lai" appeared in China Chinese.

These lazy people have cheated relatives and friends. I have borrowed all my acquaintances, but I don't know them well. However, anyone who has had a personal acquaintance will not let go. If there is a date, it will be a point.

if you are too lazy, the number of good people who are cheated will definitely increase. Over time, everyone formed a * * * knowledge: borrowing money is risky! Be careful when borrowing money!

Lao Lai is rampant in today's society, and people who suffer losses are helpless. Finally, they sum up a wise saying: "If you don't lend him money, your friends will be gone; Lend him money, friends and money are gone!

Tell me about an old lai I met:

This is a real example!

I have a classmate in high school who is in the wholesale business of tobacco and alcohol. His hometown is XX Township, XX County, Henan Province, and now he lives in XX Mansion, Nanyang City, named XXX. This man and I have been friends for twenty years.

In the spring of 216, he found his classmates respectively, saying that his old mother had a major operation in Zhengzhou Hospital, and her heart had a stent, and several of them had to be imported. The cost is hundreds of thousands.

He said to borrow money from everyone first, and he would get a sum of money in autumn. At that time, we will pay back everyone's money immediately and never default.

old classmates are in trouble, so of course everyone should help. So, you take 5 thousand, I give 6 thousand, and soon I will give him all the money.

More than a year has passed, and he has not paid back the money and no longer contacted everyone. As soon as I called, I found that he had blacked out everyone's phone numbers.

Later, everyone inquired about it, only to know that he hooked up with a woman outside and let her spend all his business capital and the money that everyone lent him.

What's even more irritating is that his mother was hospitalized for surgery, and he didn't pay a penny. All the medical expenses were shared by his brother and sister.

in anger, everyone asked him for accounts. He hid himself from sight.

some students didn't lend him money at that time, so they can still contact him. These students persuaded him to pay back the money, and his neck got stuck and he said angrily, "I can't believe it. They can't live without this money!"

Later, he said, "I didn't spend the money, it was all spent by that woman. If you want it, ask her to go. This has nothing to do with me. "

everyone was so angry that they didn't want to make his wife know and divorce him. After all, my classmates are not willing to let him be separated.

everyone gave a wry smile, so they had to swallow this tone. It was a sum of money, and they recognized an old lai. Everyone said in succession: from now on, no matter how good the relationship is, friends will not borrow money!

Conclusion: Throughout the ages, most popular words in society have been summed up and refined by ordinary people through personal experience, even bitter blood and tears.

Therefore, as far as this topic is concerned, friends who have never suffered losses or been cheated must be vigilant. Never stand and talk like it's easy, and stand on the moral high ground in a relaxed tone and say something like chicken soup for the soul.

Of course, relatives and friends are in trouble. As long as it is true and you should help, you should still help! We can't deny our relatives and not lend a penny just because there are some old lai who borrow money and don't pay it back. In that case, the virtues of "giving charcoal in the snow" and "helping others" in traditional culture will probably disappear forever in the long river of history!

I don't agree with this statement. People are always inextricably linked and always live in family friendship. Mutual help, support and care are eternal truths.

Everyone's life will never be smooth sailing. There will always be difficulties to some extent, and when they meet difficulties, they need help. Even the first emperor in the world, Lao Zi, sometimes asks for help, not to mention us ordinary people. If your parents, wife and children, blood brothers and die-hard friends need to borrow money for emergency, can you bear to give it up?

So you can't go to extremes in anything. You can't say that you will be drunk to death, so you won't drink. You can't say that you won't drive if a car kills someone. We should treat the matter of borrowing money differently, do not hesitate to help and support people and things, make decisive moves, and flatly refuse those who are untrustworthy and unreliable.

I use the lesson of blood to tell you not to borrow money under unusual circumstances:

In 17 years, a buddy borrowed 3, yuan from me and promised to pay me back in three months. At that time, I was looking at the house and preparing to buy a house. He said that it would not delay your money for buying a house, so he gave him 3, yuan. But it didn't pay me back as promised at that time.

I didn't rush it during the Chinese New Year. I thought I would ask him for money when I needed to buy a house. In March of 18, I asked him for money when I had to pay the down payment. He told me that I didn't have the money to pay the rent for the Chinese New Year and spent a lot.

I can't help it. I borrowed tens of thousands of down payments from my friends, and I will pay them back as soon as I get paid in those two months. The next month, when I got paid, I cashed in 2 thousand credit cards and paid off tens of thousands of my friends.

The person who lent me 3, yuan never mentioned money, and I never urged him, mainly because I trusted him too much. In 19 years, when I needed money, I mentioned it once, saying that I had no money. From June 19 to December 22, every time I asked him for money, his reason was that I had to pay the rent. My father needed money when he was hospitalized, and this was the case every time he returned his credit card.

Today will be put off till tomorrow, tomorrow will be put off the day after tomorrow, this week will be put off next week, this month will be put off next month, and the year-end bonus will be paid at the end of 22. In October and November, I was blacked out twice, playing the brotherhood card, saying that I had repeatedly urged him regardless of my brotherhood. If he had cared about his brother, I am afraid he would have paid me back long ago and was still making excuses for himself. Finally, I even said that I don't want brothers for tens of thousands of dollars.

Travel, business trip, food and watch drying in WeChat circle of friends all day. That watch can't come down without 2 thousand. I just don't want to pay you back with this money.

The one who knelt down to ask for debts in Jiangsu province watching the news the other day, who would have done this if he hadn't been forced into a hurry? Borrowing money is not about alienating relatives, but about character!

There is nothing wrong with the original intention of this sentence. It depends on everyone's experience and orientation. People try with money, jade with fire. It takes seven days to try jade, and ten years to know people. Some people regard whether they can borrow money from each other as the touchstone to measure the depth of friendship, which is all wet.

it is really helpless to refuse everything. There are many reasons for borrowing money, but there is one thing: the borrower is a relative or friend.

when a friend borrows money, it's either business that needs capital turnover, and the amount is large, so you are powerless, powerful and courageous. Either it's small or it's not. If you lend it out, it's not worth it.

the second is that relatives borrow money. There are many relatives. If you borrow him, you must borrow him. Otherwise, you will be called unfair, and your relatives will be separated. As long as you start, you can't finish. With so many relatives, how much money do you have to lend? It's a matter of giving it to everyone, complaining everywhere. You want it? It's hard for elders to talk, but it's hard for juniors to talk.

it's even more trivial for neighbors to borrow money. I can pay you back. Ten years later, I will borrow ten to pay you back, but at this time, ten yuan can only be spent as one yuan. Prices have risen tenfold, and they are as good as waste paper.

borrowing money between brothers is diversified. For example, it is normal for a younger brother to get married and borrow money from his brother. If the family doesn't agree, you can't borrow it. Even if I borrowed it, my younger brother became a family. When I paid back the money, my younger brother and sister disagreed. What can I do?

generally speaking, not borrowing is the best policy. Practice has proved that borrowing and not borrowing have similar endings, and they all end in discord. Spend money to buy guilt.

we are talking about sex, not individual cases. If it is a public proposition, there is no need to give any examples. Otherwise, it's meaningless.

one thing I want to make clear is that if you want to lend money to others, you must first be prepared for sponsorship.

You might as well learn from Mr. Ma Weidou's method: you can't borrow all of them. Do what you can, symbolically lend to others, lend ten thousand to thousands, without hurting the harmony, returning to nature, not returning to leisure, and trying to be calm.

I have learned many profound lessons from this question, and I really can't borrow them. It's a trivial matter that the borrowed money can't be collected. What's important is that the original good friends have become strangers, and some have even disappeared.

In life, borrowing money has always been a hot topic, because I don't know whether the money is worth borrowing or what it will be like after lending. Many people have suffered this kind of loss, so we must divide the money among people, not everyone is worth me.