What is a sense of boundary?

Have you ever experienced: if you don't know how to refuse, you will only be embarrassed to accept that others keep telling you about your life and give up your values or legitimate rights to please others, or: you have a strong desire to control, want to be a savior, and subconsciously take responsibility for others. These are all lack of sense of boundaries.

The so-called sense of boundary is an appropriate restriction. Who knows when to refuse and when to stay away, has its own clear principles and bottom line. A clear sense of boundary lies in knowing how to distinguish between your own affairs and others' affairs, as well as the areas of emotion and ability that you can be responsible for. Keep your own borders inviolable, and at the same time respect others' borders.

Lack of sense of boundaries in different relationships

Between relatives: the wind can enter your home, the rain can enter, others can enter when they come, and when your mother-in-law comes to your home, the home becomes hers; Parents tell you what to do in your daily life and arrange your time at will. Friends, who think they know you well, can use your things without saying hello. Show great concern for you every day, keep asking you all kinds of privacy questions and know every detail of your life.

Between partners: the most common thing is to control another person in the name of love, find a sense of security in another person, can't help but look at each other's mobile phone, or worry about each other in every detail. "A friend, don't care too much. They are all relatives. It's a big deal.".

How to establish a sense of boundary

Learn to be firm, stick to the bottom line of principle, and don't be afraid of being rejected or abandoned. The more boundaries you have, the higher people will think of you. Separate your own needs from those of others, and don't turn others' needs into your own pressure and responsibility.

I am the protagonist of life. Anyone can only accompany us through a journey and take responsibility for his own life. The prerequisite for others to respect you is that you learn to respect yourself first. How others treat you depends on how you look at yourself. The fate of the speaker is to reduce the desire to testify, to be misunderstood, to see whether it is good or bad is all mine, not to pester or explain.

The last sentence, about the sense of boundary, cognition has always been considered from the self level. When you show your boundaries, others may not easily test your bottom line and encroach on your interests. It is also a relief to show others the boundaries. People with a sense of boundaries will not be difficult to get along with, but with that line, others will know how to get along with you and how to get close to you. Intimacy is measured and distance is safe.