A gentleman is magnanimous and magnanimous, while a villain is always concerned

An old monk and a young monk While traveling, I met a river; I saw a woman who was about to cross the river, but she didn't dare to cross. The old monk took the initiative to carry the woman across the river, then put the woman down and continued on the road with the young monk. The little monk couldn't help but murmured all the way: How is Master? How dare you carry a woman across the river? I walked and thought all the way, and finally couldn't bear it anymore and said: Master, have you violated the precepts? How to carry a girl on your back? The old monk sighed: I have given up long ago, but you still can't let go!

Enlightenment: A gentleman is magnanimous, but a villain is always worried; he is broad-minded, open-minded, and able to take on and let go of things, so that he can always maintain a healthy mentality.

Insight 2:

A gentleman is magnanimous, while a villain has long-term relationships.

A villain refers to a person with a relatively low personality. People who are in the flow. There is a saying in the penultimate paragraph of "Dayu Mo": "The gentleman is in the wilderness, and the villain is in power." The first time the villains confront each other in the text, it foreshadows an irrefutable truth: gentlemen have fought against villains since ancient times. Since the end of society, he has always been in an opposition position.

A gentleman changes from a leopard to a leopard. A gentleman is said to be like a leopard or a jade. A villain is said to be like a jackal or a stone. Tigers and leopards disdain the company of jackals, and cannot even tolerate the company of tigers and leopards. As the saying goes, there is no room for two tigers in one mountain. Gentlemen often have no party, walk alone, proud of the mountains and forests, and value spiritual victory; this is not the case for villains. In history, villains often They form cliques and use the swarming tactics of hungry wolves and the smear tactics of squids to kill the seemingly powerful gentlemen one by one, because what the villain values ??more is material conquest and physical destruction.

Gentlemen not only have no party, but also do not know how to support each other. They are going their separate ways due to academic, political and other differences. things, they can still respect each other under the situation of being like water and fire. This is not the case for villains. The bustling world is all for profit, and the hustle and bustle in the world is for profit. The word "profit" comes first, everyone gets what they need, and they despise each other but can be united. The origin of the party disaster in the late Eastern Han Dynasty comes from the two ministers of the dynasty. At that time, there was a ballad that said: "Fang Bowu is the rule in the world, and Zhou Zhongjin was awarded the seal because of his master." These two were originally fellow villagers, and Emperor Huan was the Marquis of Liwu. He learned from Zhou Fu, and Fang Zhi should have made a lot of achievements during his tenure in Henan Yin. Afterwards, they both became officials in the same dynasty and ministers. The locals compared the two people, but the meaning of the ballad was more biased towards Fang Zhi than Zhou Fu. Originally, Fang Zhi was not a big deal, but the guests of the two families looked down on each other and attacked each other. The opportunity was taken advantage of by villains, and a party disaster implicated more than 3,000 famous scholars and countless scholars. The students in exile and imprisonment were tattered all over the road, and the country's vitality was exhausted. However, the ten permanent servants and even a group of eunuch vassals, who usually fight against each other or even undermine each other, can unite as one at such a juncture, use their hands to kill prestigious gentlemen and others.

Therefore, a gentleman is not afraid of villains, but he will die at the hands of villains; villains are afraid of gentlemen, but they will want to get rid of them quickly. It is precisely because villains can solve problems through exchange of interests, negotiation and even violence. Villains worship strength and desire it all the time. They will willingly give in when their strength is insufficient without feeling guilty. The slightest guilt (of course, if there is a chance, I will make a comeback to make you look good!); but a gentleman is not like that. He will insist on his own opinions for the so-called truths, principles, etc., and set limits everywhere. This uncompromising attitude makes the little It’s so uncomfortable!

Three thousand years of bloody feudal society have summed up one experience: it is better to offend a gentleman than a villain. If you offend a gentleman, the most you can do is cut off contact with you. For example, Guan Ning is with Hua Yun. No matter how much Guan Ning despises Hua Yun, he will just cut off our relationship. In the future, whether Hua Yun becomes Taifu, I will do it. Dressed in a white mat and a one-story bamboo building, he will never set foot on the land of Wei for the rest of his life. And if you offend a villain, even if you are Shi Chong, who is extremely wealthy, you will inevitably have your home confiscated and your clan exterminated. Even your favorite Lv Zhu was killed in Jingu Garden. (Materials of the Deeds of Virtuous Youth)

However, I have always believed that villains are like wolves, they cannot be fed well and they are not familiar with them. Even if we live in peace with him for decades, it must be because of me. There is still value that can be exploited, or there is no threat at all. The former says that I am still a bone that has not been chewed out, and the latter says that I am just a background wall. Once anything infringes on the other party's interests happens, I will still face The dilemma of facing each other. Or live in peace for the rest of your life, I can only say that you are just a villain, and you are like a fish in water in such an atmosphere.

The gentleman is different. Friendship between gentlemen is not based on status or wealth. First of all, it is a fortunate thing for you to have brothers and sisters like gentleman. When the wolves are surrounding you, you can still have a brother or sister who is worried about you. It is the benefit of a gentleman to have a back to which you can feel safe. Moreover, birds of a feather flock together, and when you get along with a gentleman, you will also gain respect, or things derived from respect.

During the Eastern Han Dynasty, the fifth type offended Shan Chao, the eunuch Quan, and was sent to Shuofang. Dong Yuan, the prefect of Shuofang at that time, was Shan Chao's grandson. It seemed that the fifth type was destined to die. A man named Sun Bin who he had helped before heard that After finding out about this incident, he paid a lot of money to hire knights. He spent several days and nights without rest to catch up with them. He hijacked the prison car and gave the horse to the fifth type. He walked on his own and drove 400 miles in one day and night, allowing the fifth type to escape. Later, Zang Gong, an official from Xuzhou, wrote to the fifth class to express their grievances. Thanks to the help of these people, the fifth class passed the exam. These people's selfless assistance to the fifth kind, which may even cost their lives, has to move us, but we must also reflect on it. A gentleman is like a righteous man. A gentleman's true temperament can infect and impress the people around him. This is what a gentleman can do. What you get is the charisma of a gentleman.

In such a materialistic world, it is impossible to reach an agreement with a villain by relying on compromise. It is precisely because the villain will not abide by the gentleman's agreement. In the constant compromise, the original The self begins to become filthy, even complicit. For example, when the villain in the office becomes more and more hungry as you continue to compromise, and finally steps on you, then you realize that all the advantageous resources are not under your control. The most terrifying thing is Yes, these resources are lost as you slowly compromise.

Be a magnanimous gentleman and have a selfless heart. You can enjoy the pleasure brought by the breeze and the bright moon. You can enjoy the joy of having one or two close friends and the fragrance of tea. It is better than a fly or a dog. There are so many busy mice!

Throughout the ages, there have been different standards for being a man, but everyone recognizes the way of a gentleman. This shows that no one wants to be associated with villains and make themselves exhausted physically and mentally, dizzy and unable to accomplish anything. When you work with a gentleman, you can keep your promises, respect each other, and always help each other, and you will make your own career better and bigger. Therefore, no matter what situation you encounter, you must remember the basics of being a human being: you should be a gentleman, not a villain! The term "gentleman" has been around since ancient times and is actually a role model for being a good person. What is a gentleman? What the ancients called a person with high status now refers to a person with noble personality. A gentleman has a noble character, a kind heart, and is modest and tolerant; a villain is by nature dirty, cunning, and narrow-minded, so there is a saying that "a villain's heart is used to judge a gentleman's belly." The so-called "gentlemen are magnanimous, while villains are always worried" is to draw the line between "gentlemen" and "villains". Talented people are not necessarily moral gentlemen, and moral people are definitely different from villains. Therefore, we must be aware of censorship. When a gentleman communicates with others, his words are as light as water, while when a villain communicates, his words are as sweet as fine wine. A person with high moral character does not communicate with others based on benefits, but with virtue. A gentleman will sympathize with others when he sees them in danger, and a villain will communicate with them when he sees them. Rejoicing in others' misfortunes only adds insult to injury; a gentleman loves money in a proper way, but a villain loves money at any cost; a gentleman protects honor and integrity and would rather die than surrender, while a villain is groveling for his own purposes; a gentleman takes pleasure in gaining benevolence and righteousness, while a villain takes pleasure in satisfying sexual immorality. The moral sentiments of a gentleman and a villain are completely different; a gentleman loves to praise and give to others, while a villain loves to slander and take away from others; a gentleman is strict with himself, while a villain requires strictness with others; a gentleman is broad-minded and calm, while a villain is worried and fearful

< p> Fear and panic all day long; a gentleman achieves reasonable consensus on various opinions, but does not agree with them; a villain agrees with others, but does not resolve differences of opinion peacefully; a gentleman still insists on integrity when he is poor; once a villain becomes poor, he will Unable to control oneself; a gentleman is calm but not arrogant; a villain is proud but not calm; a gentleman is good at plotting, but a villain is good at suspicion; those who rely on villains must be villains, but those who rely on gentlemen do not have to be gentlemen, villains are helpless It is everywhere, a gentleman seeks things but not others, and a villain seeks others but not others. Normal personality means a person's self-esteem, self-improvement and self-awareness. Villains, on the other hand, often lose themselves. They usually show empty emotions and have nothing to do on weekdays. They like to inquire about secrets and spread secrets. When the world is peaceful, they will fabricate right and wrong for fear that the world will not be chaotic. If a company has such a person, it will cause harm to the company. They are huge threats. They are centrifugal forces within the enterprise. If not exposed, they will exhaust the last drop of wisdom of the masses. Such villains are called "internal friction experts". They can be summed up in this truth: to be successful, you must first You must learn and understand how to be a human being, and to be a human being, you must first abide by morality. When morality and utilitarian purposes are consistent, on the premise of fulfilling morality for society, we should not give up the utilitarianism of harmony. As the saying goes, "A gentleman loves money and gets it in a proper way." In the early Qing Dynasty, Yan Yuan once said: "Justify your righteousness to seek your benefit, understand your way and calculate your merits." A gentleman must do this: when morality and utilitarian purposes conflict, you should sacrifice your benefits and pursue righteousness. . Mencius, the ancient Chinese philosopher, has a famous saying, "Sacrifice life to obtain righteousness". He believed that life is important, but personality is more valuable. If you cannot have both, you should "sacrifice life to obtain righteousness" righteous". During the Three Kingdoms period, Wei Yan killed the prefect Han Xuan and took refuge with Liu Bei. Guan Yu and others happily toasted Wei Yan and celebrated his victory. At this time, Zhuge Liang ordered the swordsmen and axemen to capture Wei Yan, saying that Wei Yan "eat his salary and kill him, but his master is unkind, and he lives with him." It is unjust to offer a piece of land to others, and those who are unkind and unjust will definitely rebel in the future." Liu Bei and others did not believe it and left him alone. After Zhuge Liang's death, Wei Yan really rebelled and was captured by Zhuge Liang's clever plan before his death. Ma Dai killed him. In the Spring and Autumn Period, King Wen of Chu learned how to know people well and assign them well through his own practice.

Both Xi and Shen Bohou were ministers of King Wen of Chu. Xi was an upright person and would remonstrate with King Wen whenever he saw something wrong. King Wen felt that Xi was exposing his shortcomings in front of the ministers and was annoyed. Shen Bohou was obedient in everything and was good at observing King Wen. He had said and done what King Wen wanted to say and done. King Wen felt that Shen Bohou was very comfortable around him. However, King Wen's practice has confirmed that: Xi's advice is correct, and there are many things that are beneficial to the country because he accepts his advice and does not make mistakes; but Shen Bohou Shun has done things wrong, which is detrimental to the country. So King Wen knew that Xi was a good minister and should be reused, so he named him the fifth official. King Wen thought that Shen Bohou was a flattering minister and could not be used, so he expelled him from the country. Being with people of high moral character will make people open-minded, like being in a quiet orchid room; being with people of bad morals will make people narrow-minded and of low quality. As the saying goes, "If you are close to red, you will be red; if you are close to ink, you will be black." ". The facts of life prove that if a person deviates from the way of a gentleman, he can only turn himself into a fly flying around in society and among the crowd. He will never be reused. Even if he is reused for a while, he will sooner or later drive out successful people. of ranks.

I think that when we live in this world, even if we cannot be as open-minded, selfless and fearless as a gentleman, at least we can’t describe it as insignificant; regardless of the problem, we can only see what is under the tip of our nose; at least You can understand that in this world, other than you, others also need to survive; you can understand that "all people are destined to die". That way, you will naturally live a much happier life. May we all try to get rid of the villain mentality and live as happily as possible.

Insight three:

Comment: (strong personality signature)

A gentleman walks the way of a gentleman, and the way of a gentleman should be based on self-cultivation. It is about cultivating yourself, not others. Cultivation of yourself is like a sponge that can tolerate all difficulties, resistance and obstacles. This is the way of a gentleman. The higher the ability to tolerate, the higher the path of cultivation; the stronger the ability to tolerate, the stronger the realm of cultivation.

Translation: Confucius said: "A gentleman is broad-minded and can tolerate others; a villain is preoccupied and narrow-minded." Through the above comparison, we know that the habits of a gentleman and a villain are exactly two extremes. Those who always like to point fingers at others and be picky are a certain characteristic of villains. Therefore, this kind of person cannot listen to the teachings of the elders at all. He is full of prejudices and cannot listen to any advice. He only pretends to be full of rubbish and is self-righteous and pretends to understand. How do you cultivate this kind of person? What about his gentlemanly ways? Do you know how to distinguish between a gentleman and a villain? Grasp the following points. A gentleman is committed to his own way of self-cultivation and is far away from the way of villains.

Correct interpretation:

Some people interpret the phrase "little people are always sad" in "The Analects of Confucius" to mean that little people are often worried and frightened. I think this is a wrong interpretation. Looking through Zhu Fuzi's Annotations of the Analects of Confucius, a villain will be troubled by things. Isn’t it just serving what ordinary people call “things”? This thing is desire. Villains often go against the rules, seek out new paths, and are led by desire for fame and gain. The so-called taking risks and getting lucky, worrying about gains and losses, are the worries of villains. A gentleman behaves morally and righteously in the world, resolves matters according to reason, and is calm and comfortable. This is the so-called magnanimity of a gentleman. If some people understand that "a villain is always worried and fearful", but a gentleman is always worried about the failure of the Tao, is afraid of the insecurity of the country, and feels pity for the hardships of the people's livelihood, isn't it true that a gentleman is always worried? Taking risks and getting lucky, worrying about gains and losses, are the companions of a villain! On the other hand, some bullies or bosses are unscrupulous, powerful and comfortable. People have different spiritual realms, which are different spiritual homes. In spiritual life, everyone lives in his own home. Whether it is good or bad, comfortable or uncomfortable, he must have such a home. "Moving" is impossible. It is impossible for a delicate and snobbish person to benefit from the cheerful and open-minded mental life of a person who is dedicated to working hard and has no deep concern about gains and losses. The most prominent thing in people's external life is nothing more than snobbery and fame. But being powerful, advantageous, and famous does not necessarily mean you are mentally comfortable and happy. To enjoy the psychological comfort of "lying slowly (sleeping peacefully) and waking up (waking up and feeling free and contented)" requires another set of skills and another kind of attainment. To enjoy one's own psychological life, in general, one needs inner fulfillment (what the ancients called "zhongshi"), that is, in terms of morality, personality, knowledge, taste, emotion, etc., it is relatively complete and necessary. Quality has reached a certain level. Only in this way can you have a correct sense of self-sufficiency. Only by having a correct sense of self-sufficiency can we avoid being uncontrolled and harassed by external things, and thus build a harmonious and solid spiritual "home". To achieve inner fulfillment (neutral realism), we specifically rely on the following three aspects: 1. Professionalism. Emotions that are relaxed and open-minded are not just about blindly introspecting and self-cultivation like Zengzi, nor is it just about blindly abandoning worldly things like Zhuangzi. The most correct thing is: it is necessary to "focus on hard work, regardless of harvest", highlight the investment in the work process, and not blindly worry about gains and losses in the work results; highlight the self and concentrate on efforts, rather than blindly seeking external support. In this way, you will naturally develop a love for the work itself. Having love can make life beneficial. People who have benefits in life are naturally mentally fulfilled. Therefore, it is said that "a gentleman is based on professionalism." 2. The attitude of knowing one's fate. Kang Youwei believes that the truth about psychological sorrow and happiness can be explained in one sentence: "knowing one's destiny". A gentleman does not insist on things he is born with (such as birth, wisdom, stupidity, etc.), does not complain about his fate, and treats difficulties as if they were ordinary things, so he can be happy no matter what time he encounters.

If you succeed in learning and discover the laws of nature and society, your mood will be more peaceful. It can be seen that a knowing attitude is one of the necessary conditions for emotional magnanimity. 3. Eliminate delusions and selfish desires. The most tormenting thing in the world is people's own desires, especially the kind of unreasonable thoughts. In real life, all kinds of gains and losses that harm people happen all the time. If the desire is too strong, these kinds of desires will be sharp every time. Kang Youwei said: People are bound by their own selfish desires, manipulated and manipulated by external things, and worry about gains and losses all day long. Just after being freed from the pursuit of this thing, and falling into the pursuit of that thing, there is no moment of peace.

Explanation:

Confucius said: "A gentleman is magnanimous and magnanimous, while a villain is always worried." Confucius said: "A gentleman is broad-minded and magnanimous, but a villain is often restless." Gentleman They are upright and aboveboard, have no worries or fears, so they are broad-minded and open-minded; villains worry about gains and losses, are busy calculating, and often bother themselves, suspecting others of plotting against themselves, so they are often trapped in fear and have a restless mind. "Confucius said: "A gentleman is magnanimous, while a villain has long-term worries." . A gentleman is not worried or afraid, and has a clear conscience. What is there to worry about and be afraid of? Confucius also hated the feeling of blaming others. He said: "There is no resentment in the country, and no resentment at home." "Don't blame God, God is good for you." "" Eat sparingly, drink water, bend your arms and rest your head on it, and enjoy it." "It means that no matter what position you are in, you should not be resentful, and you should be cheerful and optimistic. Even if life is difficult, eating whole grains, drinking cold water, and bending your arms to make pillows can still be fun.