People with high emotional intelligence are good at controlling their emotions. They can be calm-minded and behave rationally at all times, suppress emotional impulses and restrain eager desires. Resolve and eliminate your bad emotions in time, so that you can always maintain a good mood, be cheerful, open-minded, and mentally healthy.
Many times, people are easily offended, angry, and lose their temper. In fact, losing your temper cannot solve any problems. But if we can give good explanations for bad things and keep a cool head, we can suppress excited emotions and make ourselves cheerful.
High emotional intelligence is a calm state of mind, a manifestation of high IQ, and even stronger self-control! The ancients had different definitions of high emotional intelligence, but the essence is similar. For example, Laozi said: "A husband does not fight, so no one in the world can fight with him." Mr. Guiguzi said: "Conspiracy invisibly is always better than not fighting." "Fei", the thinker Hong Yingming of the Ming Dynasty said: "It is not surprising to be favored or disgraced, and there is no intention to leave or stay". Lin Zexu, a famous official in the late Qing Dynasty, said: "The sea is open to hundreds of rivers, and tolerance is great; if you stand thousands of feet on a wall, you will be strong if you have no desire" and so on.
Emotional intelligence can be cultivated and is a key factor in success. A person with high emotional intelligence will mostly have these three characteristics:
1. See through but not tell through.
This sentence tells us to control our mouths and never say more than we should say! Misfortune comes from the mouth, and too much words lead to misunderstandings. This is the earnest teaching of our ancestors, and it is also a famous aphorism that we need to always bear in mind in our interpersonal relationships! There is no airtight wall in the world. You can eat randomly, but you can't say random words. If you say the wrong thing, you will hurt others and ruin your own affairs. The gain will outweigh the loss and you will regret it!
People with high emotional intelligence pay special attention to "speaking". They have the shrewdness to see through the essence of people or things, and they also have the sense and kindness to control their mouths and emotions. Although only bystanders know better, the authorities are confused. One word can either warm or chill people's hearts. Therefore, our best approach is to "talk too much, but it is better to keep the center"!
For example, we know that our friends have shortcomings, but we should not point them out directly, otherwise we will hurt others and hurt friendship; we know that our friends have done something wrong, but we should not criticize them harshly, but we can Talk to him in a tactful way. People with high emotional intelligence pay attention to methods when talking and doing things, rather than acting based solely on emotions or feelings; people with high emotional intelligence always think about the consequences before doing something, and what purpose they want to achieve before they act or speak. Therefore, seeing through but not speaking out is a sign of high emotional intelligence, and it is also a way of life that is worthy of our careful understanding!
2. Don’t be happy with things, don’t be sad with yourself
This sentence was said by Fan Zhongyan, a writer in the Northern Song Dynasty. It tells us to control our emotions, which means: Don’t be sad because of others. Don't be too happy when you get something, and don't be too sad because of your misfortune. Nine times out of ten, life will be unsatisfactory. Only by taking a more optimistic view can you turn suffering into joy. Don't be happy with things, don't be sad with yourself, and live a calm life!
Not being happy with things and not being sad with oneself is a significant characteristic of a highly emotional businessman! They are often very calm and will not be complacent because of small successes or small victories, nor will they get depressed because of setbacks and tribulations; they firmly believe that victory lies ahead and that "the road of life is progress, always along the infinite spiritual triangle." Walk up the slope", firmly believe that "only look at the back half of a person" and so on!
Former NBA basketball superstar Kobe Bryant is a person with high EQ and IQ, and you admire his self-discipline and hard work very much! When watching videos of Kobe Bryant's basketball games, we will find that when he scores goals himself or when he sees others scoring goals, he is mostly very calm, rather than grandstanding and yelling like those ordinary players. Kobe always kept a calm mind on the court. He rarely became happy until he won the ball in the end! Perhaps, Kobe's detachment and high emotional intelligence on the court are an important reason why he will forever be remembered in NBA history! Therefore, a person with high emotional intelligence will mostly behave like this - not to be happy with things, not to be sad with oneself!
3. Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you.
This sentence is a golden rule of morality from the sage Confucius, which means: Don’t impose things that we don’t like. When it comes to others, it can also be extended to mean "don't use your own values ????to ask others."
People with low emotional intelligence always think about how to force their opinions on others and make others do things according to their requirements. But people with high emotional intelligence know how to convince people with virtue and use virtue to influence people. They will never impose their views on others, nor do they try to change the world or others; they will accept others with an inclusive attitude and be harmonious. The difference is that wisdom can be used for things that others cannot understand, but it can be used for things that others cannot understand. It is always better to plot invisibly than to fight without any effort.
In life, we often see people who quarrel over trivial matters. In fact, they are stupid and a sign of low emotional intelligence. Truly capable leaders with high emotional intelligence do not like to yell, point fingers at employees, or even curse. Therefore, we must be a person with high emotional intelligence and a person who "do not do to others what you do not want others to do to you."