I see your anxiety, and at the same time I see that the subject has self-awareness and starts to look for ways to solve the problem, which shows that you not only want to change yourself, but also have great courage. Seeing the subject's description, the pain brought by being born in a family really affects us, not only you, but now adults want to get close to marriage but can't get in, because the more we want to miss it. As the subject said, it is not your fault that most of your qualifications are envied, but you feel very insecure.

The subject realizes that sometimes what you think is not what you think, but your past experiences are suppressed in the subconscious. When you encounter problems, the subconscious problems come out again. Therefore, you may have some self-confidence because you are unhappy from your family, lack the ability to love and be loved, and your sense of security is not enough. These can be changed through your efforts, as long as you are willing. Adler, a famous psychologist, has a famous saying: lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, while unfortunate people are cured by childhood all their lives.

Second, when you can come here to talk and find a solution to the problem, you are already on the road to change.

Everyone has their own inferiority complex. In fact, you realize that you have missed many people for family reasons. Then the subject can realize what kind of home he wants? If you become confident and secure, how will you feel differently? Who will be the first to find out how you feel? When you can come here to talk and find the prevention to solve the problem, you are already on the road to change.

Third, if you can, please stop this anxiety and accept your anxiety and insecurity.

I understand the subject's feelings. Although I am a few years younger than the subject, I have no object, and my education and work are not as good as the subject. I sometimes feel this kind of anxiety. My method is to stop feeling anxious and force yourself to think and do, because sometimes the more I think, the more I force us. It is suggested that the subject can try to establish a relationship first, just a relationship, chat, travel, talk to each other, and follow step by step.

The environment in which we grow up will shape the way we look at ourselves, others and the world. When there is no love in our environment, we can't learn to love ourselves, others and the world. Because you grew up in such a discordant family, you have no chance to learn how to deal with intimate relationships. You are afraid of falling into intimate relationship, and your future marriage life will become as bad as your parents, full of contradictions and lack of love. I am also afraid that my next generation will suffer the same pain as me. Accept this feeling, we are afraid and worried. If there is an opportunity, you can chat with interested members of the opposite sex. When you accept this bad feeling, you will be less nervous and more relaxed.

Fourth, establish a correct cognition.

You are no longer a weak baby. You have grown up and achieved your career through your own efforts. You are already great. Compared with those people who have been trapped in their families, you are lucky. Now that you have grown up, you can make decisions for your life. Parents' marriage is their choice. You can get rid of your parents' influence as long as you want and dare. In fact, many people grew up in families similar to yours. Everything will be fine as long as we are willing.