Tim Cook and Jeff Bezos run two of the most valuable companies in the world. On the surface, the two seem to show completely different personalities. But within their company, both of them are famous for the same wonderful practice:
They all obey the "Law of Awkward Silence".
As I described before, the "Law of Awkward Silence" is simple. When faced with a challenging question, don't answer it directly, but stop and think carefully about how you should answer it. This is not a short pause, but it takes a few seconds (10 seconds, more than 20 seconds) to think about the question and then answer it.
If you are the receiver-and you are not used to this way of communication-this way may seem awkward.
At Apple, Cook has been doing this for many years. As early as 2008, an article in Fortune magazine said that at that meeting, Cook was "famous for his long and uncomfortable pause, when all you heard was the sound of him tearing the wrapping paper of the energy bar he had been eating".
In Amazon, Bezos also used the "awkward silence rule", but in a more organized way. This includes taking time out at the beginning of the meeting, which is said to be as long as 30 minutes, so that everyone can read the printed meeting memorandum silently. The purpose of this is to give participants time to read the memo carefully, think about it, and even scribble their initial thoughts and opinions-all of which will not be interrupted.
"This is a strange experience for new employees." Bezos once said in another interview with Fortune. "They are just not used to sitting quietly in the room, just like sitting in the study room with a group of executives."
However, these "silent beginnings" ensure the full attention of the participants. If they are allowed to do their own preparatory work, many people may not spend the necessary time to consider such a memorandum.
Cook and Bezos are not the only ones who accept the "awkward silence rule". In an interview, elon musk often needs 5 seconds or even 15 seconds to think before giving an answer. Steve Jobs once spent nearly 20 seconds responding to a personal attack, and he responded perfectly.
As a tool of EQ, the "Law of Awkward Silence" has always been valuable, because it allows you to balance your thoughts and emotions instead of simply reacting according to your feelings.
But today, this rule is more useful than ever, because of the development of the world in the past decade.
Why is the "awkward silence rule" more valuable than before?
We live in a world where everyone wants instant gratification.
E-mail should be answered on the same day. Slack and text messages should be answered immediately. You forgot to attend the zoom video conference on time? No problem, you can still join halfway. You can also attend the next meeting. After all, everything can be virtualized now, and you don't even have to leave your desk, right? )
But this kind of instant messaging has a big problem, which makes people have no time to think.
Yes, to think and think critically.
Critical thinking needs to think deeply and carefully about a subject. It needs reflection and review, it involves weighing and analyzing facts and careful reasoning, and its result is to establish deep connections.
Without time, all this is impossible.
Time has become the most extravagant thing on this planet.
But when you accept the "embarrassed silence rule", in a sense, you steal back the time. Time was wasted on meaningless replies. Time is wasted telling others what you think they want to hear, not what you really believe.
Once you practice enough, you won't feel embarrassed about the "Law of Awkward Silence". Because although it seems strange to stop and think about this problem at first, you will begin to realize many benefits it brings.
For example, the Law of Awkward Silence lets you:
Shielding the interference of external environment.
Exercise your thinking ability.
Solve the fundamental problem more effectively
Give a deeper and more thorough answer.
Let your emotions balance.
Be consistent with your values and principles
Say what you think, say what you think.
Increase your confidence.
This may sound like a lot compared with the short thinking time of 10 to 20 seconds, but once you give your brain more time to do what it should do: think things clearly, you will be amazed at what your brain has achieved.
So, the next time someone asks you a challenging question, even a seemingly simple one, please resist the temptation and don't answer with the first thing that comes to your mind.
Instead, accept the "awkward silence rule" and think before you speak.
(Translator: Tikvi)