Lie 1: No parents don't love their children. Although there are so many cases of parents abusing their children, many people still think that "no parents don't love their children" is tenable. They don't talk about logical loopholes, but emphasize that those cases are special cases. A friend said to me, "Parents don't love their children. I estimate that it is one in a thousand." People who hold this view can go to Baidu's "Dad Bar", "Mom Bar", "Dad Bar" and "Mom Bar" and find that there are too many parents who abuse their children in the name of love, or too many parents who disdain to abuse their children directly in the name of love, and too many children seem to have deep hatred for their parents. Fatherly love and maternal love are great, and they are the most basic and important channels for the whole mankind to reproduce and transmit love. However, this is far from saying that a person automatically becomes a good parent when he has children. True love is not a simple matter. We must be aware of this and constantly review and reflect on the specific ways we treat our children. "No parents don't love their children" is a lazy logic and the best excuse for parents to excuse themselves. If you are superstitious about this sentence, you must review the way you treat children. Lie 2: I love you, so you have to listen to me. This is the most typical love lie in our society. Parents control children with this lie, teachers control students with this lie, men control women with this lie, and women control men with this lie. This lie is our collective unconscious. From the same experience: 1 ~ 3 years old, children are toddlers, and when they start to explore the world, adults will involuntarily complete tasks for them. For example, children stumble with toys and adults hand them to him; When the child crawls around, the adults are afraid that he will stop; When children are playing and shouting happily, adults will warn them to keep their voices down. ...

If you really love children, please respect their independent space, please let them choose for themselves, please don't strangle them mentally. Lie 3: I love you, so we don't part. Parents and children stick together. Usually, children are not inseparable from their parents, because independent growth is an impulse from life. Unless this impulse is seriously damaged, children entering adolescence will not be willing to stick with their parents all day. Parents' serious attachment to their children will cause many bad consequences. The most common is the motivation that will hinder the child's outward development. In order to meet the needs of parents, children no longer grow up independently, or even refuse to fall in love, because they will think it is a betrayal of their parents. Parents should always ask themselves: Are you really doing this for your children? Or for myself? Lie 4: The word relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a lie in itself, because it sounds like a binary relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but it ignores the essence-this is a triangular relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Moreover, the core of this triangular relationship is the son, not the mother-in-law relationship. The mother-in-law relationship is a lie, and the triangular relationship is the truth. As the core of the triangle relationship, the son is the best candidate to mediate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If he doesn't want his family to fall apart, he should take responsibility and actively adjust the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, rather than escape. If you are an elder, please remember that "children should not be your favorite" and your spouse is your most important lover.

Lie 5: jealousy. If you are jealous, please remind yourself that this is probably your problem, not your lover's problem. Moreover, don't look for the answer from the intimate relationship now, but from the childhood relationship of the family. Similarly, if your partner is jealous, please know that it is not your fault. No matter how strict you are with yourself, you can't stop his jealousy. So, don't cut off your social relations one by one because of his request, which will seriously hurt yourself and it won't help. If he is jealous, it means that he has used violence, so he must pay attention to protecting himself, because he will almost certainly use violence again. In addition, please understand him and understand that he did it because of his low sense of self-worth. Lie 6: Love is for happiness and happiness. Love that makes you feel deeply, especially passionate love, is the real touch, not happiness and happiness, but forced repetition. When is passionate love born? The answer is when the realistic relationship model and the ideal relationship model of childhood reappear at the same time. We don't have a strong feeling for a person for no reason, and once that feeling occurs, there must be a reason. In short, your soul thinks that person is the "answer", not only the answer that you compulsively repeat, but also the answer that you compulsively repeat. For true love, we must know "fake love". If you are scarred by some intimate relationship, it must not be love that makes you scarred, but "fake love" that makes you scarred. Behind "fake love" may be numbness or hatred. We must understand this, so as not to lose confidence in true love.

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