Research shows that teenagers often know the potential risks of risky behaviors. However, although they are fully aware of the negative consequences, they will pay more attention to the "positive" aspects of dangerous behaviors, which will bring excitement, experience, fun and excitement of breaking the rules. For example, smoking is a bad behavior, but they are often driven by curiosity to try. Now we know that paying more attention to "positive" aspects is the result of changes in brain structure and function during adolescence.
The positive experience comes from the release of dopamine. The increase of dopamine level in adolescence is mainly reflected in three important aspects.
First, teenagers are more impulsive, and they will take action without careful thinking. The good news is that if some nerve fibers in the upper brain region create a psychological space between impulse and behavior, such impulses will be controlled.
second, teenagers are more likely to become addicted. All addictive behaviors are related to the release of dopamine. Studies have shown that foods with high glycemic index, such as processed foods or simple carbohydrates in potatoes and bread, can also lead to a rapid increase in dopamine levels and enhance the activity of brain reward circuits.
Third, teenagers will form "super-rational" thinking. It means that teenagers' thinking is very rigid and practical, they can't see the overall situation, they only pay attention to the specific facts of a certain situation, but they miss the background or environment where those facts happen.
In addition to strong emotions and the pursuit of novelty, keeping close contact with peers is also part of the nature of adolescence. For example: cliff jumping and wild swimming, if a child is allowed to act alone, he is probably afraid to go. Unfortunately, as some experiments have shown, the existence of peers often significantly increases the risk-taking behavior of teenagers.
When we regard strong emotions, social participation, seeking novelty and creative exploration as the positive and necessary core parts of teenagers' self, and when we cultivate and explore these essences well, so that they can also become the positive and necessary core parts of future adults, this stage of adolescence is of great importance. Adolescence is not just a stage that needs to be overcome, but a life stage that should be well cultivated and explored. As children and parents, what should we do?
What you should do as an adolescent:
Throughout adolescence, different brain regions are connected with each other, and this process is what we call "integration". One result of integration is that cognition controls the growth of nerve fibers, thus ultimately reducing impulsiveness. Therefore, teenagers will have more and more psychological space, so that they can temporarily stop and think about other options other than impulse. Another result of this integrated growth is the strengthening of essential thinking, so that teenagers can rely more on intuition, see the overall situation and make more informed decisions.
What parents should do:
1. Respect and guide
We should respect the needs of teenagers to pursue excitement or other adventure activities, and at the same time guide this instinctive demand in a beneficial way. If we can realize the positive side of such needs and find constructive ways to express them.
2. Set limits on behavior
The key to this solution is to respect the instinctive needs of teenagers to pursue novelty and create new ways of doing things. Respect does not mean that there is no limit on behavior, but that it recognizes the real needs behind behavior.
Research shows that the increase of integration in teenagers' brains will lead to essential thinking. Although the maturity time is partly determined by heredity, experience can affect the development degree of integration. In adolescence and later life, experience shapes our development. Therefore, how to set our life background, what we do and who we do it with will not only affect the way the brain is activated, but also affect the circuit of brain integration.
We can integrate the brain with introspection, mindfulness awareness and awareness wheel.
1. Time for introspection
2. Mindfulness awareness
One way to take time for introspection is to cultivate mindfulness awareness. This is a way to train our thinking, which can help us develop our ability to live in the present, let go of our judgment and focus on accepting life as it is, instead of dwelling on our expectations of life. This method of concentrating on training thinking is collectively called "meditation".
3. The wheel of awareness
The wheel of awareness is a model. Hub represents cognitive experience in consciousness, spokes represent concentrated attention, and edges represent known things, including feelings and other psychological processes. Each part of the edge represents the five senses (external world), the sixth sense (body), the seventh sense (psychological activity) and the eighth sense (interpersonal relationship) respectively.
Gandhi once said a famous saying: "If you want to change, you must change yourself first." With this in mind, I invite you to create basic introspection exercises with me, so that you can become an expert of the seventh sense, thus guiding children to live more in the present.