Ok, next we will learn 2. 1 which is also a dialogue between Mencius and Qi Xuanwang. When Mencius heard that he liked music, he asked, What did Wang think of Zhuangzi? He said, Your Majesty, have you told the store that you like music? The king turned pale and said, "I can't enjoy my predecessor's music, but I can enjoy secular music." Qi Xuanwang's face changed, and he was embarrassed. He said that I don't like to bring those quiet and elegant music first, but I just like the secular pop music now.
Obviously, Qi Xuanwang clearly knew that drum music was elegant and music was justified by human nature, so he was a little ashamed that he liked pop music instead of drum music.
Mencius did not criticize Qi Xuanwang on this point. He said Wang Zhi was happy, but he was almost equal to him! Today's happiness comes from ancient happiness. "If the king likes music, I'm afraid Qi has been well managed. In this matter, the current pop music is similar to the ancient elegant music. Can these teachers hear it? What's going on here? Tell me about it. Mencius said, are you happy alone or with others? Do you enjoy music alone or with others, which is happier? The first refers to the joy of music as a verb, and the second refers to the joy of happiness. Then Qi Xuanwang replied "No". It is better to enjoy music with others than to enjoy music alone.
Then Mencius said, "Which is better, to have fun with less or to have fun with more?" He said, "If you don't follow the crowd." Mencius said, do you enjoy music with several people or with many people? Qi Xuanwang said that it is happier to enjoy music with others. Mencius made Qi Xuanwang understand that being happy with big people is the happiest thing.
Next, Mencius said, please do it for James Wang. Today, the king likes to play drums here. When people heard the king's bells and drums, and played the sound of them, they looked up and frowned and told each other,' My king likes to beat drums, why does my husband make me so extreme? Father and son don't meet, brother and sister are separated. There is no other way, and it is not fun to be with the people. Mencius said, please let me tell the king what true happiness is. If the king is playing music, the people will be heartbroken and complain to each other when they hear the sound of the king ringing the bell, beating drums, playing the flute and playing the flute. Our king loves music. Why are we so poor?
Father and son can't meet each other, and brothers and wives are separated. There is no other reason. That's because you can't play with people, your majesty. There is no other reason. Today, the king likes to play drums here. When people hear the king's bells and drums, they care about the sound of drums. They were happy and told each other,' My king is seldom ill, how can he enjoy drumming?' There is no other way but to play with the people. Today, if the king enjoys happiness with the people, he will become a king.
Mencius went on to say, if the king is playing music, and the people hear the sound of the king ringing bells, playing drums and playing flutes, and tell each other that our king is not ill, otherwise how can we play music? Our king is in good health. If the people do this, there is no other reason, but because you and the people can have fun together. If you can have fun with the people, you can make the king run the country.
Today, if the king enjoys happiness with the people, he will become a king. You can be king because you can have fun with the people. How can a king have fun with the people? That is, Wang takes the people as his heart, implements benevolent policies to benefit the people, and allows the people to live and work in peace and contentment, so that you can be United and excited at the same frequency.
So Mencius talked about music and returned to the point of benevolent governance. As a leader, for his own benefit, employees and executives should benefit. Only by making customers of executives can we make ourselves. This is the law of action and reaction.
However, why is it so difficult to have fun with the people? Because people don't want to share, whether it is material wealth or spiritual wealth, people want to monopolize and possess it. Because they are afraid of the feeling of lack, they are afraid to share it, but the consequence of monopolization only makes our hearts narrower and narrower. We can only keep ourselves in our hearts, and our relationship with the people around us is opposite. Originally, we wanted to pursue happiness, but because of the disharmonious relationship with the people around us, we built a disharmonious energy field for ourselves.
So it's better to be alone than to be happy with others. Mencius tells us that only by transcending our own personal happiness and pursuing the happiness of all people can we get real ontological happiness. In Tao Te Ching, it is said that saints are behind and exist outside. Not because of its selfless evil? Therefore, it can be private. It is because of selflessness that great achievements can be achieved. Fan Zhongyan famously said, we should worry about the world first, and enjoy the world later, so that we can enjoy the people, and this kind of happiness can be truly lasting.
The mechanism of this world is designed in this way. Everyone is incomplete and has certain defects. Only by helping each other can we make up for each other's shortcomings and achieve perfection. If we only rely on ourselves, we can hardly achieve perfection and happiness. Only when we are honest with each other can we achieve the success of our career together.
Whether it is to build a happy family or to achieve a great career, it is necessary to roll up the strength of others. We have to benefit others to benefit ourselves, and only when we are happy together can we be happy alone. Therefore, the essence of having fun with the people is to build their own spiritual quality, and also to help others build their own spiritual quality. This is called having fun in your heart. True happiness is not the happiness of superficial material wealth, nor the happiness of enjoying music, but the happiness of the heart itself, which is a kind of self-confidence and firmness in the heart. To get real happiness, we need to jointly develop the inner treasure, jointly improve the pattern and realm, and find the happiness of the ontology. This is a great cause, and we can continue to do it all our lives.
Next, please ask teacher Fang Zi to analyze a mistake in work and life for us. Today's misconception is respect, which can be bought with money.
Dear colleagues and partners, if we get rid of a misunderstanding, our horizons will be broadened instantly. Do you feel this way these days? Today, let's listen to a colleague named Telly. Let's see what troubles and puzzles he has, and let's find out his mistakes together.
The teacher is very good. I often impose my ideas on my husband. I hope he will do as I think. If it's not what I expected, I will lose my temper and complain. Two people will quarrel in less than two sentences. Even if my husband doesn't eat the cooked meal, I will be furious and blame all the bad things at home on my husband. All the good things are due to me. As a result, my husband didn't listen to me or support me. The two of us often quarrel, the cold war, we are inseparable, and even I quarrel with my mother-in-law, which is embarrassing. Sometimes I think my in-laws spoil her husband so much. If I earn more money, you should follow me and love me more. Teacher, am I wrong?
Yes, of course there is a problem. If you quarrel with your husband and mother-in-law, won't your family become a jealous scene? Life is like this, and you say it's right? Of course, we don't simply discuss right and wrong, but we have to dig up the root of the disease through the phenomenon and eradicate it, so as to really solve the problem.
Terry, do you remember? At the beginning of the first 100 day growth plan, the first story we heard was a couple. They also have a family feud for 27 years. Almost both of them want to leave and have been divorced several times. The lady said that I planted this idea when I was not married. After marriage, I hit him, and I got the upper hand. I have the final say. I have the right to speak at home, but what about the fact? For 27 years, he didn't have a good life for a few days, for 27 years, until he had the opportunity, he walked into the classroom to learn China culture. He felt the problems in his family and wanted to find the reasons from himself. Later, he found the perfect place, that is, he found himself making a serious mistake, that is, the original idea was that I must get the upper hand.
The seeds planted 27 years ago have been growing in his heart. When he understood, he couldn't tell the taste in his heart, which could be said to be heartbreaking. He knows that love is not taken away or won. Only by giving love sincerely can we reap true love. On second thought, he transcended his past mistakes and pulled out such a root. Just a few months later, their husband and wife were completely reconciled and their families were warm and harmonious. He said that he never imagined that now two people study together, communicate and share together, do housework together, exercise together and have family memories together.
Of course, I also gained the change and growth of my son. That's it. When a person has a wrong view, it will interfere with or even hinder his life and work, and even make his life uncomfortable. Of course, even family, friends and career will be affected. Isn't that what Terri did after she got married? You want to have the final say on big and small issues. You are also a capable person. It is difficult to avoid impatience and disdain for other people's work. You always want to crush people, you will often argue unreasonably, and you will lose half your family.
In addition, we can also recall that in the past life and work, we suffered a lot and touched a lot of land, sometimes making our husband embarrassed and unable to lift our heads, and our hearts were also very painful. Speaking of daily family relations, we have also heard a lot. You want to be in charge, and I want to be in charge.
It seems that everyone is fighting for this breath. In fact, we also know that if we want to have the final say, do we all want to fight for the right to speak in essence? Express that I am better than you. In fact, the secret of our hearts is to get the respect of each other, but we just don't know how to get the right to speak and how to win the respect of each other. As the Analects of Confucius said, don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you.
When we ask others to do something, we must first be willing to do it ourselves, so that we can set an example. Of course, what we don't like can't be imposed on others.
In fact, as us, we also realize that respect can't be bought with money. The great truths in life are actions and reactions. If we don't know how to respect others, how can we be respected by others If we think that respect can be bought with money, isn't our marriage a deal? How dare you talk about marriage? When buying and selling? It can be seen that respect cannot be bought with money. Respect is soul mate. Only by mutual induction and mutual concern can we win the respect of others and have the right to speak. In short, we should respect others' respect for us and win others' hearts by our hearts.
If we go further and make mistakes, what impact will it have on us? Behind this misunderstanding is actually that we have a heart with me but not her. With such a heart, we will not care about others, and no matter what we do, we will treat people with this way of thinking. As a result, everything will hit a wall, everything will be unsatisfactory, and there will be complaints, irritability, jealousy and hatred. Only by getting rid of wrong understanding and wrong views and establishing correct understanding and correct views can we turn our lives around. Next, let's listen to the changes and feelings of Terry after learning.
After many introspection, I saw the influence of my behavior on my life reaction. I finally understand that husband and wife are mutually successful. I don't know why I always lose my temper and hurt each other, but I actually hurt myself.
After that, I began to change my mind. Once, I cooked a table of joy. I didn't expect my husband to say that he didn't want to eat a bite. I felt that my kindness was poured cold water before, but I was so angry that I would definitely drop a plate and have a big fight with him. This time, I was not angry, and I ate happily alone. I didn't expect to get up after a while and eat all the dishes on the table. As I watched it, I was complacent, and the temperature in this room was lively again.
We heard that he is completely different from the past. When we understand in our hearts, husband and wife will eventually achieve each other. You are high and I am low, you are more and I am less, you oppress others or are self-righteous, and this family will fall apart. Therefore, home is not a place to win or lose. Seeing a mistake has made me suffer for these years.
Of course, change is in an instant. There are endless treasures and endless love in each of us. Love can't be obtained by taking. We give love, and there will be love. We will have more love for others and get more people's care.
Those who love to go out love to come back, and those who are kind to others benefit first and most. We study China's cultural tetralogy "Mind, Morality and Things", and we need to understand how different he is and what the result is.
As we said just now, respect and trust are the ties between hearts. Only inner efforts, that is to say, inner love for others, can win the love and respect of others. Otherwise, we just stay on things, others will be polite to us at most, and we may still complain more in our hearts. This is the difference between efforts and things in our hearts. For example, if we make a fortune to others, the other party will of course say thank you, but if we don't have this respectable quality in our hearts, the other party will not really appreciate us, and he may have some inappropriate ideas in his heart, whether it is the masses or the family. There are still some colleagues who have problems that we should remember.
In the long years of life, in the face of the merits and demerits of family members, we should all look in the mirror in front of us. At this time, we should summon ourselves, rectify ourselves, correct ourselves and sublimate ourselves. If we are right, we will not complain if we don't ask others. Only in this way can we be a complete family forever.
At the same time, we should also have a profound understanding and symbol of the trilogy, which is more profound. What really wins the respect of others is our hearts. Such respect is the essence of real, lasting and rich respect, and it is the subtle induction and connection between hearts. Therefore, heart and things are interlinked, and heart is a moral issue. What kind of heart, what kind of things, in the heart, good to others, good to others in the heart is really good.
Dear colleagues and partners, it seems that family matters are insignificant, but once wrong ideas are formed, they will deeply hurt us in all aspects. The misunderstanding we sorted out today is respect, and respect can be bought with money. Knowing the truth, sincerity and respect, you will have the right to speak, win people's hearts and win respect. We must gradually engrave the word sincerity in our hearts.
Today's sharing is over. Wish you all the best. See you next Monday.