Family Traditions and Family Instructions_Famous Quotations from "Er Tong of the Book of Exunciations" written by Ji Yun of the Qing Dynasty

"Er Tong of the Book of Expeditions to the Son" by Ji Yun of the Qing Dynasty.

1. I'm just afraid of accumulating blessings. At the end of the day, I have exhausted all my venting.

My family relies on the blessings and good deeds of our ancestors to have the grand occasion of generations of descendants serving as officials. Only I have the highest salary.

Reflecting on the fact that I have not made any progress in my knowledge, nor have I worked hard on my virtues, yet I got the high position of Minister of Rites, I am afraid that the blessings accumulated by previous generations will be vented to the extreme and end in me!

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So, when I was in a lowly official position, I used to be dissolute and unkempt; now that my official position has been continuously promoted, my worries are getting deeper and deeper.

An old saying once said: Those who rise higher will sink deeper.

I am usually very careful at home, and I increasingly adhere to the principle of frugality when enjoying myself.

Don’t eat seafood when entertaining guests, and never kill animals unless it’s for sacrificial purposes.

I am over fifty years old, a minister, and have good fortune and longevity. I no longer need to engage in abstaining from killing and practicing good deeds. I just want to leave a little room for my descendants.

We often see those families who have enjoyed official status for generations. During grand ceremonies, they have high official positions and great power. They take life and death and act recklessly. They are certainly heroes of the era.

When they declined, their sons and grandsons started gambling and promiscuity, and eventually ended up lying in the grass as beggars. Where was the dignity and glory of their fathers? This is not my intention to be alarmist. The old house of the Qian family that I bought in previous years has now been converted into my ancestral hall. I recently heard about the Qian family.

His son has become a beggar. Wasn’t his father once a prominent official?

When you see these things, you should serve as a warning for others.

Don’t be arrogant or worship luxury. People who encounter poverty should help them and work hard.

I specially bought a hundred acres of rice fields and hired people to cultivate them. I also want you to learn to grow crops at any time and become a law-abiding farmer in the future. You are my good son.

The souls of Ji’s ancestors will not be deprived of sacrificial food!

Don’t think that plowing in spring and sowing in summer, with calluses on hands and feet, is something a despicable man does. Do you know that farmers are at the top of the four peoples and scholars are at the bottom of the four peoples? Peasants wear the stars and the moon and do their best to feed the people of the world. If there were no farmers in the world, everyone would starve to death. How can we look down on farmers? Woolen cloth? It must be taken as a warning.

As a powerful court official, Ji Xiaolan did not use her power to seek an official position for her son, but directly encouraged her son to learn farming and become a farmer with calloused hands. This is not a lack of love for his son. , but to separate public rights and private affairs clearly and without any mistakes; at the same time, it is also a wise decision made after reading all the vicissitudes of life and understanding life; while working hard for the country in the court, he still does not forget to buy land for his son, ranking among the The minister resolutely abstained from killing and practiced good deeds to pray for his son. His love for his son was so sincere, upright and far-reaching.

This shows the vision and mind of a generation of talented people.

2. Although it is not an honor for a prince to support you, it is not an insult even if he has a banquet.

Some contemporary officials’ children always use their arrogance to bully others in the hope that others will respect them; they even call it self-respect.

I don’t know whether it’s important or not depends on your own cultivation.

As long as I am worthy of being a sage morally, I will not feel honored even if a prince sweeps the floor for me, and I will not feel ashamed even if I work at the lowest level.

The decisive force that can make me noble is myself, and all kinds of reflections outside my body are irrelevant.

If my weight is determined by the evaluation of others, I will feel honored when others respect me, and I will feel ashamed if others do not respect me. Then, slaves and slaves can control my honor and disgrace. This is not to regard myself as a person. Too light? The late teacher Chen Baiya once wrote a couplet in his book: Being contented with things will always make you feel satisfied.

This is really a wise theory that can reveal the fundamentals of things.

You should record it as a motto and practice it throughout your life, and you will be a good son.

People can only pursue their own moral perfection and career progress, and do not need to care too much about the public opinions and evaluations of others.

If you leave all your honor and disgrace to the control of others, you will fundamentally lose your moral focus and direction of life.

Only when you enter a state of contentment and non-asking can your mind become peaceful, free and lively, and can you transcend the oppression of worldly status and other people's evaluations, and have enough time and a good state of mind to engage in what you love. cause.

p>Qing Luqi's "Bride Book": 1. Pleasure and beauty are the most important aspects of marriage.

A pleasant and docile look is the most important thing when treating parents.

If men are like this, what about women? However, the expressions towards father-in-law, mother-in-law and husband are slightly different.

Treat your mother-in-law and husband with kindness and respect, treat your father-in-law with solemnity and respect, treat male guests and relatives with dignity and respect, and treat many servants with kindness and dignity.

The appearance of the bride varies from person to person and is appropriate for each person. In the eyes of modern people, it seems to be repressive or artificial.

Little did they know that the shallow smile on the bride's face is a smile of wisdom, a smile of cultivation, a silent drizzle and wind that moisturizes the family and people.

Even modern businesses advocate smiling service, but this kind of business smile is no more refined and rich in cultural connotation than the smile of an ancient bride.

2. Virtue speaks of merit and appearance, and appearance is dignified.

Women should be virtuous in their speech and considerate in their appearance.

Your appearance and behavior should be dignified. This does not mean that you have to work hard on makeup and powder. You must not follow the world and wear heavy makeup, and your hair should not be messy and dirty. Even if you wear common clothes at home, you must keep it neat and clean, and you must groom yourself carefully when going out. , keep it clear and bright.

It is better to be behind the fashion trend than to be ahead of it.

Only by keeping simple thoughts in mind can we not lose everyone’s demeanor.

Simple and neat, dignified and fresh, this is the temperament and charm of our ladies.

If you indulge in heavy makeup, you will easily be classified as a seductive alternative; if you blindly follow fashion, you will not only feel luxurious, but also lose your transcendent insight.

Only by maintaining a clean bottom line and adhering to the principle of not being timely or outdated can we show the true style of everyone.

3. The bride who relies on heaven is just three people: father-in-law, aunt, and husband.

The three people the bride relies on and regards as heaven are her father-in-law, mother-in-law and husband.

Therefore, when dealing with these three people, you must use twists and turns to arouse their liking without causing them any trouble.

If your father-in-law and mother-in-law don't like it, and your husband is unhappy, then your neighbors will say you are unworthy, and your servants will bully you. From then on, no one will listen to your words, and everything will not be implemented.

Therefore, a woman who treats her father-in-law, mother-in-law and husband well not only involves the two things of virtuousness and filial piety, but also can avoid shame.

On the surface, a bride becomes a lifelong slave to her father-in-law, mother-in-law, and husband as soon as she gets married. In fact, in the ancient Chinese family structure, father-in-law, mother-in-law, and husband all share different responsibilities and requirements. , here are the duties required from the perspective of the bride.

Even in the modern family structure, correctly handling the relationship with the father-in-law, mother-in-law and husband is still an unavoidable practical problem facing the daughter-in-law.

If one relationship is handled improperly, it will inevitably lead to the deterioration or disintegration of the entire family relationship.

It is much easier to understand the importance of these three relationships in advance and proactively handle these three relationships than to seek solutions after the family relationship deteriorates.

Of course, the requirement here that the bride must please her and not offend her in the slightest seems too harsh. This is certainly due to the moral atmosphere of ancient society, but it can also be seen from this that Mr. Lu Qi went to the mountains to practice Taoism. The heart of an old father is left to his beloved daughter.

4. Before the bride’s father-in-law got up. You must get up early to freshen up first.

Before the father-in-law and mother-in-law get up in the morning, the bride should get up early to wash herself. She should be quick and not slow.

As soon as the father-in-law and mother-in-law get up together, go to say hello and wish them well.

As for the three meals a day, you must arrange it yourself. You cannot sit still and let the slaves do whatever they want.

When it’s time to eat, you have to stand aside early and wait for the father-in-law and mother-in-law to sit down and eat together.

Never wait for someone to call you when eating.

If you make your mother-in-law wait for you but don't come for a long time, she will definitely feel unhappy.

Even if you have a minor illness, you should insist on getting out of bed and moving around.

If you lie high in bed and don't move, asking your mother-in-law to ask someone to bring soup and food will cause trouble again.

If your father-in-law is at home in the evening, please return to your room early and do some female work quietly. It is not advisable to go to bed too early.

If the father-in-law is not at home, he should wait until the mother-in-law goes to bed and arranges the housework before returning to the room.

This is a custom picture describing the life of a daughter-in-law in an ancient family.

In ancient times, men took charge of the outside world and women took charge of the house, so the daughter-in-law often shouldered the specific responsibility of honoring her parents for the man.

In modern society, the division of family labor between men and women has been broken, and the daughter-in-law has also lost the restriction of family rules that she must serve the man's parents; the daughter-in-law's life is of course much more comfortable and free.

However, what follows is that it is not uncommon for the elderly to lack care and for the elderly mother-in-law to serve the young daughter-in-law.

It can be seen that it is still a traditional virtue that modern society should promote that husband and wife must respect each other's father.

5． The husband said that his wife was not a virgin.

The husband said that his wife was wrong. After all, the husband is a scholar and knows a lot. After all, it is very rare for a husband to say these things out of love and care for his wife.

As a woman, can we not accept the teachings of our husbands humbly? You must thank them politely and correct these mistakes quickly.

When I see my husband in the future, I will say: Did I make any mistakes? You must teach me.

He will naturally tell you everything, and your morality will be improved every day.

Husbands and wives should support each other and spend their lives happily, and the most taboo thing is to be stubborn and unwilling to give in to each other.

If one party points out the other party's mistakes, it only points out that this party is wrong in one thing, not that this party is wrong in everything else or even the whole person; however, the criticized party One side often mistakenly believes that its entire personality has been belittled, and not only refuses to correct its mistakes, but even confronts the opponent to defend its mistakes and fights to the end.

Such people are incapable of enjoying family life and will be tortured to death by endless family chores.

Only couples who can actively ask each other to help them discover and correct their mistakes are truly beneficial couples who can help and love each other.

6. A good wife is like a good friend.

The husband may not be prosperous for a while, and this unsatisfactory period is often measured in years.

If you are not satisfied with some small things, the time of such dissatisfaction will be calculated in days.

As a wife, you should encourage him with kind words, do not add sadness to increase his depression and depression, do not blame him to make him more angry and extreme, you should only treat him with kindness and warmth. Said: My husband will get better one day, and naturally someone will understand you.

This is how a good wife treats her husband like a good friend.

He may be short of funds for a while, so he should try his best to pledge his family assets to raise money. Don't wait for him to speak out, and don't let him know.

When your husband is at the end of his rope, don’t lament that the world is difficult. So as not to hurt his ambition, don't blame your husband for his incompetence, so as not to hurt his self-esteem; but always be as warm as spring, firmly believe that your husband will eventually succeed, and even go to the extent of privately pledging all the family assets for her husband to seek a greater future. She is a good wife and good friend who is brave in times of adversity and loyal to the sky, fully demonstrating the strength and warmth of the family!

Family traditions and family mottos in "Yan Yi Pian" by Li Gan of the Qing Dynasty_Famous quotes

Family traditions and family mottos in "Yan Yi Pian" by Li Gan of the Qing Dynasty_Famous quotes

"Yan Yi Pian" by Li Gan of the Qing Dynasty.

1. Uncle Ji. This is the order of flying geese.

Bo Zhong Shu Ji is the order of ranking among brothers.

As for uncles and uncles, they must be distinguished by adding the word "father".

Nowadays, it is wrong to just call people uncle or uncle; there are even people who call people by their first name without ranking, which is extremely rude.

Even for uncles who are cousins, they can only be called by rank but not by name.

Only clan members who have competed in the fifth server can add the word "uncle".

The word "student" is a term used by teachers to refer to disciples, and from elders to juniors.

Now our village disciples call themselves this way to their teachers and juniors to their elders. Isn’t it an arrogant act that goes beyond their duties? If you call them this way, how can you call yourself a teacher or an elder? If we all call ourselves students, wouldn't we all become peers? In order to be polite to your parents, you should call yourself your first name or nephew, and to your teachers, you should call yourself your disciple or your first name.

For ordinary sages, they should call themselves late students; for ordinary elders, they should call themselves late brothers or junior brothers. There is no such thing as a student.

Nowadays, people only use one word to address each other, and they often call people old or old. This is not only flattering, but also makes our peers and juniors in the village blur and have no difference. They are all called by two words. Becoming rude.

Titles such as Weng Lao are fine for addressing dignitaries nowadays, but cannot be used to address friends you have just met.

For peers, you should add "brother" to the name, and for juniors, you can call them directly.

For cousins, their ranking must be added.

For sons-in-law and nephews, just call them son-in-law and nephew.

In this way, the titles of superior and inferior are in order.

In our hometown, all children and their in-laws are called dependent brothers and relatives. This makes the in-laws no different from ordinary neighbors.

For example, the in-laws of children in other counties all use the correct title of brother-in-law, and call each other old in-laws or old in-laws.

The fathers are called Taiqinjia or Taiyinweng, and the children are called Qinweng. Unlike in our hometown, there is no distinction between the titles.

The changing social norms have led to the increasing confusion and simplification of the human relations terms in a country governed by rituals through the ages.

What the author did was to regulate the terms of human relations, which was actually a project to purge folk culture.

Times have changed, and some of the titles that the author carefully corrected back then have become outdated and distant today. Although this has not brought much difficulty to people, the folk culture of this nation lacks due respect and protection. , which is ultimately a pity.

2. According to the ancient system of national law, the decline of Qi will be three years and the decline of Qi will be one year.

The national law is based on the ancient system. The mourning clothes must be worn for three years and the mourning clothes must be worn for one year. Even in September and May, mourning clothes cannot be left behind.

Therefore, anything illegal cannot be done.

It was already wrong for later generations to add seams to the Zhansheng uniform.

Although the ancients took off their linen clothes, they still dared not change the white cloth, and they were not allowed to participate in any auspicious events.

Nowadays, people have to participate in all auspicious events during the mourning period, and even wear colorful silk clothes.

There are also people who leave their parents’ coffins to seek official service, those who leave their parents’ funerals to work as matchmakers, and others who drink wedding wine and watch theatrical performances.

Three years of mourning are just in name.

As for mourning clothes such as Da Gong and Xiao Gong, some people simply don’t wear them.

Alas, what kind of law is this, and what etiquette is there? I really don't understand.

Northerners also wear a white cloth to wrap their heads on top of their filial piety hats, which they do not take off even when visiting guests.

After the three-year mourning period of the parents has expired, they can no longer wear mourning clothes, but they cannot take off the mourning clothes before the parents' coffins are buried.

Although people nowadays have not yet buried their parents in their coffins, they have already taken off their mourning clothes when the three-year mourning period has expired, and then put them back on when they are buried. Is there such etiquette? The son of the principal wife and many other sons mourned their concubine's mother, and the state stipulated that they should wear mourning rituals that lasted for a year and were accompanied by a staff to respect her on behalf of their father and express their condolences.

Nowadays, people wear mourning before the period is over, or they don’t use the staff after the period of mourning. Is it in line with etiquette?

Funeral rituals change over time and become increasingly simplified, which is an irresistible historical law.

The author's attempt to restore the ancient system is just a valuable effort that goes against the times.

When I read this passage today, I can only regard it as a piece of information about the intangible cultural heritage of ancient funeral rites.

3. Tang worshipers. It is said that relatives and friends are gathered together to pay tribute and make a large sacrifice.

The Tang Festival ceremony is a large-scale sacrificial activity that gathers the sacrifices of many relatives and friends.

Most of the people who participated in the sacrifice in my hometown bowed and left, which was too simple.

In the county's three-offering ceremony, relatives and friends are divided into classes to offer sacrifices, and they file up one after another. This may reflect the atmosphere of the memorial ceremony.

In addition, when reading the congratulatory message, a special rite should be invited to read it aloud, pausing every sentence, so that everyone can understand it.

It’s not like in my hometown where young people read blessings. The sound is blurred in the throat, making it difficult for people to hear clearly.

Having a banquet at a sacrificial gathering is also something that should be done in etiquette.

For example: in the county, relatives and friends are asked to hold meetings to discuss, specify the date, take turns to organize, and publish the list.

No need for the priest to worry about attending to guests and seeing off guests, as well as handling various affairs in the hall, and there will not be too many empty seats.

In my hometown, only two or three humble people are selected to see off guests. When close relatives and close friends arrive, they are indifferent and ignored.

There were guests sitting in the hall nearby. Everyone seemed to be here to eat and drink, making it a shame for a gentleman to come to the table.

What’s the use of wasting money on funeral arrangements? As for the clan members who all gathered together, they absolutely did not do anything to pay homage or help with the cooking, but sat deeply in the inner room, just eating and drinking, which made people feel that they were very boring; there were also some chatting and laughing on the spot. , which is even more of a mistake.

As for the degree of frugality during the funeral, it is necessary to measure the financial resources of the family. It must not be insufficient or excessive.

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