Ladies and gentlemen, Lei Desen and Jiete, uncles and aunts, husbands and wives, men and women of all ages, come at ten o'clock!
ah! It's hot in summer, the night is sultry, and you and I are apart on the big stage of Liu Laogen, which is a knot in one's heart. Tonight, the sun is shining, oh, no, the stars are rotten tonight, and the lights are shining tonight. Here is the world of flowers, and here is the ocean of dance. Good! Forgot the words ... Ocean! The vast sea of people, ordinary people, you and I, are looking for something happy. Your arrival will make the tent wall of Liu Laogen's big stage dusty, and your arrival will be as warm as coming home. No, it's warm, warm ...
Here, on behalf of our boss, I would like to express my deep sorrow to you, with all the proprietress and all the actors- -
Thank you for enjoying a bunch of performances of mental illness with long endurance, pitying eyes and compassion. The actors in our group are all mentally ill, but I am more normal than them, because I just finished taking medicine ..................................!
First of all, my new friends don't know me. Anyway, first of all, please allow me to introduce myself. I'm from the People's Republic of China. I'm a human being. I'm a new student of Zhao Benshan. My name is Tian Wa. Tian is Tian Wa's Tian, and Wa is Tian Wa's Wa. I'm 23 years old. I belong to an ox and a bull. I was born at midnight on September 24th, 1985. I'm an undergraduate in primary school, and I don't have much culture. I just go to school for two days and catch up with a big week. I can't speak any gorgeous language, but I can assure you that what I said in Turin has opened my mouth. I wish all my friends who applauded me tonight a long life! Steal the bell! Better late than never. If you don't applaud, I wish you to play mahjong, forget to bring toilet paper when you go to the toilet, get disconnected from the Internet, and get caught whoring.
Friends who applauded me, I will never forget you. I will never let you go, just keep you in my heart forever. I won't say anything, but don't look at my appearance. I know I'm a little surprised, right? Look at it. My mother studied me and I look like this bear anyway!
Zhao Benshan, my master, said that I would like to thank everyone in Tianjin for coming to Liu Laogen's big stage. Zhao Benshan, my master, said that you are the Lord, God, Amen and Jesus, which is very important for us actors. If you don't come to see the duet, we will earn money, right ~! The clothes, trousers, trousers ends and socks we wear are all put out of your pockets. As the saying goes, the mountain is not high, the fairy is spiritual, the water is not deep and there is a dragon ... as long as the audience is not much, just spend money and don't let in without buying a ticket. You are happy, our boss is happy, our boss is happy, the proprietress is happy, the proprietress is happy, the manager is happy, the manager is happy, the actor has this (hand movements. It means money), and with this, he can go out at night.
I won't say too much. Don't look at my sad appearance, but I'm more talented. I'm the best actor in our group. Don't look at my appearance. There is a saying in China: "A judge by his appearance, the sea is cold and salty." I am the most talented actor in our troupe, combining various arts. I don't just play saxophone and sing duet like them alone. I know everything. I will give you some stunts, acrobatics, ventriloquism, imitation shows, songs, sketches and musical instruments later. Anyway. I don't learn ventriloquism like Lausanne, where the ventriloquism is simple, and everyone can learn trombone like this: "(imitation),,,,,". Trombone, and drum set, drum set: (imitation). This thing is simple, just throw up in Mike. I learn ventriloquism. I'm not bragging. I can't learn ventriloquism. That's a bit contradictory, right? I learn ventriloquism so vividly, you don't have to laugh, I don't even have to say what to learn. You can hear it as soon as you listen, and it's so realistic. Listen carefully: (learn ventriloquism, fart). Bullshit, hehe! This eldest brother can answer first, and the elder sister in the back is still covering her nose. It's okay. I put it with my mouth. I brushed my teeth. I used brand-name toothpaste. Did you watch TV? A foreign woman advertised and took out toothpaste. I also used Fuyanjie and toothpaste.
I'd like my friends to see that later, martial arts, and I'll do somersaults for you. Flip. Look, flip. I'll give you a high-end one. I don't dare to bring a cuckold husband to Tianjin to mix. thank you I'll give it to anyone who wants to watch the imitation show later. > > Northeastern couple turned into couples funny lines
That year, they were invited to their parents because they quarreled with their English teacher. The class teacher scolded me, and my father slapped me when he was excited. I have never been beaten by my father since I was a child, and I have been hoodwinked directly. After coming out of the office, dad said: Don't pay too much attention, then go through the routine. . Me. . . Two people turn lines
Xiao Shenyang funny two people turn classic lines (finishing the Lantern Festival party)
Thank you!
Thank you
Thank you very much, my good friends
Thank you for your silence-thank you
Oh, thank you.
I heard you give a lot of applause to all the players just now
You will have a rest when it's my time
I don't want your applause
Because applause is very tiring
I won't be shameless like other players.
People with ID cards
Those players were celebrities just now.
It's actually my personal name
I'm not a celebrity
but neighboring countries
like Malaysia, Thailand, I haven't been to Singapore or Russia
because it's too hard to see the country
it's too awkward
it means ugly in Northeast dialect
Don't look ugly now
I grew old and beautiful when I was a child
My mother still praises me
Don't be old for a day, my son. Da
How many people gathered around me and asked,
Sister
Where did you buy your monkey?
I told you
I'm so worried.
They said that
I'm not sad at all
I'm willing to go shopping when I'm free
I'm just happy
I'm willing to spend the summer. > spluttered shopping
Look at my small bag
LV is really beautiful
Oh, my gosh, it's too big
It's a little unprofessional
I'd like to go for a stroll in the night market
It's crowded
I'll splutter
I'll bargain
I'll splutter when it's okay
< Yes,
it was naughty.
I visited the night market that day.
I took a fancy to a dress.
I said, how much is this dress?
The waiter said 8
I asked: Do you sell it at 35?
He said: sell
I said: don't buy, go
It may be annoying
When I'm tired of walking, I'll sit next to me and thank you for a while
There's a sister sitting next to me
She's beautiful
Maybe she's seen me
Just ask me
Oh, my gosh, brother
.
Oh, brother, I see how you
have a feeling of the sea
I'm praised for
growing so big. It's the first time that I'm praised
making my heart old and bright
How vast and blue the sea is.
I said, What's the matter, sister
Are you in love with me?
It's annoying that this younger sister always refuses to be listened to.
He said, Don't get me wrong, I feel seasick
At the sight of the sea, I feel sick
Thanks to my good friend
It's my time
I spent this time with you
I'm a student of Mr. Zhao Benshan
My motto is to take the road of others
Let others have no choice
My Chinese name is ***
My English name is * * *.
It's old-fashioned.
My singing always smells like duet.
I'll sing a song for you next.
I don't know who I want to listen to.
I'll give you a song by the famous tenor Schwarzenegger.
It seems that he doesn't sing.
I'm confused.
Hehe, I'll give you a song by Dao Lang's lover next
.
Music
You are my lover
A woman like a rose
With your fiery lips
Let me be fascinated endlessly in the middle of the night
You are my lover
As pure as a white lotus
With your faint body temperature
Heal the sentimental scars in my heart
Lover
. Sound
lover
How can I forget that
midnight intoxicating kiss
the lover of my dreams
can't forget the sweet kiss
Every emotional look
makes me melt into your boundless tenderness
You are my lover
A woman like a rose
Use your fire. People
how can I forget that sweet midnight song
lover
how can I forget that
midnight intoxicating kiss
pull ... pull ...
come ...
pull ...
pull ... > The two of them turned jokes and lines
went to buy octopus balls with friends, and he couldn't wait to put a whole one in his mouth.
when I got my copy, I turned around and found that he was gone. I wonder.
after a while, he appeared beside me again. I asked him why he went.
He said: Damn it, it's so hot that I can't bear to throw up. I ran for more than 5 meters with my mouth open before swallowing it. Label: Classic composition Part One: Poems describing mountains and clouds. Next: Write a famous saying praising bamboo. Please write a sentence praising grass.
Funny two people turn to the stage.
A: I want to be a hooligan in the next life, and I will flirt with whoever I like!
b: I want to be a pervert in the afterlife, and I can fuck whoever I like!
c: I want to make a condom in the afterlife, and I can plug it in whoever I like!
ding: I want to be a dog in the next life, and I will let whoever I like hug and sleep! You want me to come, who the fuck doesn't want to come?
Hey, it's also a folk culture. Why don't these indecent lines exist in Huangmei Opera? The orthodox duet is not like this. It's urgent for the duet to turn into funny dialogue lines. The more you do well, please, hurry! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 7 points
Xiao Shenyang funny duo turn classic lines (finishing the Lantern Festival party)
Thank you!
Thank you
Thank you very much, my good friends
Thank you for your silence-thank you
Oh, thank you.
I heard you give a lot of applause to all the players just now
You will have a rest when it's my time
I don't want your applause
Because applause is very tiring
I won't be shameless like other players.
People with ID cards
Those players were celebrities just now.
It's actually my personal name
I'm not a celebrity
but neighboring countries
like Malaysia, Thailand, I haven't been to Singapore or Russia
because it's too hard to see the country
it's too awkward
it means ugly in Northeast dialect
Don't look ugly now
I grew old and beautiful when I was a child
My mother still praises me
My son, don't get old for a day. Da
How many people gathered around me and asked,
Sister
Where did you buy your monkey?
I told you
I'm so worried.
They said that
I'm not sad at all
I'm willing to go shopping when I'm free
I'm just happy
I'm willing to spend the summer. > spluttered shopping
Look at my small bag
LV is really beautiful
Oh, my gosh, it's too big
It's a little unprofessional
I'd like to go for a stroll in the night market
It's crowded
I'll splutter
I'll bargain
I'll splutter when it's okay
< Yes,
it was naughty.
I visited the night market that day.
I took a fancy to a dress.
I said, how much is this dress?
The waiter said 8
I asked: Do you sell it at 35?
He said: sell
I said: don't buy, go
It may be annoying
When I'm tired of walking, I'll sit next to me and thank you for a while
There's a sister sitting next to me
She's beautiful
Maybe she's seen me
Just ask me
Oh, my gosh, brother
.
Oh, brother, I see how you
have a feeling of the sea
I'm praised for
growing so big. It's the first time that I'm praised
making my heart old and bright
How vast and blue the sea is.
I said, What's the matter, sister
Are you in love with me?
it's annoying that this younger sister always stops listening to people.
he said.