As the old saying goes, men are afraid of getting into the wrong business, and women are afraid of marrying the wrong person.

Men choose the wrong industry and have the wrong direction all their lives. No matter how hard they try, they can't achieve great things, and they will be mediocre and frustrated all their lives.

When a woman marries the wrong person, the whole life will become a tragedy. The pain and injustice of marriage can only be swallowed in the stomach with gnashing teeth, and it will be miserable for a lifetime.

In the feudal society of "marry a Han, dress and eat" and "marry a chicken with a chicken, marry a dog with a dog", women have no independent economic ability and no right to speak, and they have to rely on men all their lives. Marrying a person once is equivalent to a lifetime, and the possibility of divorce and remarriage is slim. Therefore, no matter how great the pain and grievances in marriage are, they can only bear the burden of humiliation, which is why there is such a warning that "women are afraid of marrying the wrong man"

Although the treatment and status of women have undergone earth-shaking changes since the development of society, marriage is still an important yardstick for others and most women to measure their happiness.

A woman, regardless of her culture, income and ideological level, longs for a happy marriage and family life. Unfortunately, to some extent, everything else she has seems to be like 0 after 1. Without 1, no amount of zeros will make much sense.

For example, we know that many female stars have both fame and fortune, and most of them marry into the rich and powerful, but the result is that many actresses who marry into the rich and powerful are unhappy.

It is reasonable to say that they are married to a rich family. What are you unhappy about?

But the fact is, even if there is a lot of money, even if married men are tall and handsome, they still have the suffering and pain of ordinary women in marriage. Why? The essential reason is nothing more than the man's problem.

For example, Guo Jingjing, who also married into a rich family, not only did not encounter problems such as her husband's derailment, domestic violence and abandonment, but also lived a very loving life. She also married a rich family. Why is she so happy? The most fundamental reason is that this person is Huo.

He is not only talented, but also one of the best in character cultivation. It is because of his love, care and single-mindedness that Guo Jingjing stands out among women who have become rich and shines brilliantly, making countless women regard her marriage as a story.

So according to this logic, men are the key to determine whether a woman is happy or not. No matter how good a woman is, if she doesn't meet a good man, her goodness will not be displayed, but she may disappear or even turn black in all kinds of torture. But if you meet a good man and marry a good man, then a woman's life must be spoiled, beautiful, happy and regretless.

Some independent women may quit after hearing these remarks, saying that how can the happiness of our women be decided by men?

We women's happiness is in our own hands!

Find a good man, naturally excellent. If we can't find it, we can live on our own. If you marry the wrong person, you can stop loss in time and leave immediately. How can it be said that it was decided by men?

I won't argue about this.

For those women who are financially independent and have strong hearts, men and marriage are really not just needed. Without these two things, they can still live a chic and wonderful life.

But such independent and capable women are a minority after all. In fact, most women still can't say no to men and marriage economically, and they can't always keep a strong heart and face the storms of life alone.

For example, an ordinary married woman with children will not easily choose to divorce if she meets an unhappy person and her marriage is unhappy on the premise of having a stable job.

Usually, a woman's divorce means leaving the house bought by a man, which means no place to live. If she takes the child away again, she and the child will be displaced.

Milk powder, renting a house, children going to school, children and her own daily expenses, her parents and sons may not be able to help her take care of the children, which means that her daily expenses have to be added to the nanny ... No matter how hard it is, how can she bear it?

In this case, most women tend to choose patience, compromise, compromise and then compromise.

In short, it is realistic and helpless, but this is the truth.

I can't help it Sometimes, life is like this. The pain is because the choice is wrong.

In addition, it is undeniable that looking straight into our women's hearts, no matter life or death, no matter rich or poor, we still long for someone to be loved and a shoulder to lean on at any time.

Have breakfast together in the morning, count the sunsets together at dusk, hug each other and sleep together at night.

If there is no such person, if we don't meet such a person, then even if we are beautiful and rich, there will be an emotion called loneliness in the dead of night, and we will feel sad and unwilling involuntarily.

2

Since we all long for a happy and beautiful marriage, what kind of man can we marry to reap the happiness of marriage and not marry the wrong person?

Men are handsome, tall, kind, filial, considerate, careful, generous and romantic, but these good qualities are only one aspect before marriage.

For example, if you find a handsome husband, there may be many women around you, and you may have the opportunity to cheat at any time.

Like finding a kind person. He may be a bad person in life, good or bad. He often takes out his own money to do good deeds, which makes your own family stretched, and adults and children are in a mess.

For example, if you find a generous person, he may spend a lot of money at ordinary times and never have the concept of saving money to live in his mind. You may fall into abject poverty at the end of each month.

For another example, finding a filial son may be a filial mother-in-law. It is not easy for my mother to handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law after marriage, which makes you feel wronged.

So, what kind of man is a good man?

What kind of talent will you marry to live this life safely and happily?

When Ode to Joy was all the rage, the word "Qiu Yingying's role and fire plot" was still unclear.

The scene is unfortunate to meet Bai and be swept away by lovelorn and unemployed. Desperate, she followed her father's advice to buy books, so she bought a lot of inspirational books at once, regardless of the willy-nilly. However, when she returned to her apartment, she was holding those inspirational books all day and shouting slogans.

Seeing this, the sensible and wise Andy stepped forward to dissuade him out of kindness, but failed. On the contrary, he aroused the hostility of Qiu Yingying. After that, Andy waved his hand again and again to give up and said that he would never mind such a business again.

At that time, Xiao Qu-Kun mentioned the word "unclear" to evaluate Qiu Yingying, and by the way, he also offered a wise saying: "Always strive for the world with the same hobbies, and don't talk about shortcomings foolishly".

To be honest, after the word "I can't carry it clearly" came out, I felt so fucking refreshed.

It's really a wife's apt and vivid image. Many people and things I met that made me speechless found such a word to match.

Yes, I don't know.

Life is most afraid of being ignorant, and marriage is even more afraid of being ignorant.

three

So what kind of people don't know?

To sum up, there are the following obvious characteristics:

First, things are disorganized and the situation is unknown.

Second, I can't see the essence of things clearly.

Third, there is no distinction between right and wrong, good and bad.

Fourth, indecision and procrastination about people and things.

Five, no opinion, no principle, no determination.

Sixth, I don't know the priorities when talking and doing things.

Seven, do not recognize the reality, do not know yourself, do not know others, do not know the world.

If you look at these characteristics, you will find that there are quite a few people in this world, especially men.

For example, a playboy with a girlfriend keeps attracting butterflies outside;

For example, if you have a good wife at home, you have to find a moth to find a mistress, and finally get a derailed man who is separated from his wife;

For example, regardless of the mother's personality, Ma Baonan, who defends her mother blindly and helps her to force her wife to death;

For example, a domestic violence man who treats his wife as a personal item and does not fight or scold;

And so on.

When you meet these confused people, even if you try to persuade them and change them, it is often useless.

You said they had no principles and were super self-righteous.

You speak for them, but they accuse you of meddling.

You really can't bear to leave them Instead, they beat their chests and feet and accuse you of being heartless.

What happens to such men and women is an irreparable tragedy. They make a mess of their lives and even ruin yours.

So what is a man who can bear it?

Here I sum up a sentence, that is, a man who can handle things and feelings clearly, can distinguish right from wrong, prioritize, deal with problems very decisively, and know what to do and what not to do.

It is embodied in three aspects:

First, the mood is clear.

Compared with those who eat inside and pick outside in feelings, singleness is the main performance that a man can carry clearly.

Being single means that he knows exactly what kind of love life he wants.

Compared with those who are proud of being surrounded by Yingying and Yanyan, they clearly know that cheating is a fire game with high cost and cost, and the results often have no good end, which is not worth wasting time and energy at all.

They are more willing to pursue meaningful things in life, rather than wasting precious time holding a fire extinguisher to deal with the "harem" flames and emotional disasters that pop up from time to time. This is not only asking for trouble, but also not worth the candle.

Second, the personality is distinct.

People often rank face value and economic strength at the forefront of a series of mate selection criteria, but in fact, personality is the most preferred mate selection criteria.

If a person has a personality problem, even if he is handsome and rich, it may be dangerous.

Aren't those big perverts who killed their wives and abandoned their children in the news a vivid example?

Such a man, even if he is rich again, you will not live well. He may not give you money to spend, he may beat you every day, make your life worse than death, and even take away your precious life.

Therefore, to get married, we must first look at a man's character, and then consider other things.

Honesty, kindness, sureness and steadiness ... What is a good character?

I think it boils down to three words: clarity.

A man with distinct personality, mature but not rigid, upright but not reckless, romantic but not affectionate, kind and with a bottom line.

He can have harmless little shortcomings, or he can lose his temper because of trivial matters in life, but he has principles, a bottom line and achievements in the face of big and big issues.

Marrying such a man is absolutely reassuring.

Third, the mind is clear.

A person with unclear brain is not necessarily a bad person, and his personality is not necessarily problematic, but he may have the ability to drive people crazy in minutes. A bad good person is a typical representative of unclear brain.

The so-called rotten good guys are actually good or bad, especially when men become "rotten good guys", they often have a timid temperament, which is not only good for good guys, but also hateful to help bad guys for years and use their "rotten good guys" to help others do evil.

If she unfortunately becomes the wife of such a person, the woman will either be in a crazy state and unable to extricate herself, or she will often have a sad and unfortunate contemporary Lu Xun feeling, which will not be much better from material to spiritual.

Therefore, before getting married, we must observe him from all angles to see if his mind is clear. If he is out of his mind, we should pack him up and send him back early.

Life is already hard, so why travel alone with the burden of walking?

The confusion of mentality is also manifested in the confusion of dealing with family affairs.

Although some men have become married and have their own families, they are very confused and can't tell the roles before and after marriage.

When marriage encounters family conflicts, it is also called "home and everything" to either ignore the mud or try to protect parents, brothers and sisters and put all problems and faults on the other half indiscriminately.

In their concept, their home is "everyone" with parents and brothers and sisters. A family composed of yourself and your wife is not called home, but at best, it is called a family, and it is also a branch attached to your home.

In China, there are not a few men who can't handle family affairs well like this.

You can't tell them about your family background. Family members should have clear family boundaries, and the relationship between husband and wife is higher than that between parents and children. Instead of listening, they will scoff and think that you are trying to sow discord between them and their families.

If it is even more unfortunate that their parents are all ambiguous dissidents, then as their women, you may have to compromise in every way and bear the burden of humiliation in every way, just for their stubborn concept of big family, as if they crossed from the feudal society two thousand years ago, and the old feudal dregs in your mind violated yourself and your lover like toxins.

For such a man who doesn't understand housework, even if he just marries in the past, it is not a tragedy, and it will become a tragedy sooner or later.

People who can point out clearly can see the defects of their origins and have the courage to admit the problems of their origins. He has a clear understanding of the boundaries of family members. When the other half has family conflicts with other family members (especially the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law), he can see the essence through the phenomenon and understand who is right and who is wrong, so as to establish good interaction with practical actions.

At this time, many people may say that home is not a place of reason, but a place of love.

I can't say this wrong, but I think it depends on who is right and who is wrong.

If it is aimed at couples, then this sentence is very right.

But if you are dealing with conflicts between other family members beyond the scope of husband and wife, then you should help your parents. If we still treat it with an "unreasonable" attitude, the wrong behavior will not be stopped and the root of the contradiction will not be solved, which will inevitably breed greater contradictions and cause more trouble. If we don't make good use of the cultivation of family atmosphere, every family member will not get the corresponding peace and harmony.

It lists the characteristics that a man can clearly carry it at four points. In fact, all four points are interlinked, regardless of personality or mind. To sum up, three words can carry it clearly.

There are many bad men and many good men in this world, but good is relative and bad is relative, so it's better to find a man who can handle things clearly, regardless of good men or bad men, so as not only to avoid misfortune, but also to save a lot of things after marriage.

therefore ...

Lend me a pair of discerning eyes, let me see the man around me clearly, then meet a man who can handle it clearly, marry a lover, and live a clean and environmentally friendly marriage life from now on.