The general meaning is: arrogant people seem to be very unsociable and difficult to cater to, but once they make friends, it is difficult to separate; Cheerful people look gregarious and easy to get close to, but they are also easy to be separated. As the saying goes, "come in a hurry and go in a hurry."
I want to ask: Do you want a stable relationship or a fast-food relationship with great changes? It is estimated that many people will choose the former rationally, but unfortunately, people are often more emotional than rational in the process of communication.
For example, we often regard people who are eloquent and sweet-talking as "high emotional intelligence" and are willing to associate with such people; For those honest people who are dull and unsociable, we often regard them as "low emotional intelligence" and think it is boring to get along with such people.
Get rid of glitz and look at the essence through the phenomenon. Essence is the most important thing, as Zeng Guofan, a famous minister in the late Qing Dynasty, said: "Generally speaking, the way to view people is simple." Therefore, people who are unsociable are essentially kind and good. Please be kind to them. Although they are not easy to get along with, they deserve our lifelong friendship.
Mr. Lu Xun said: "Animals always walk alone, and cattle and sheep live in groups." This sentence shows that the strong are often lonely, while the weak are insecure and like to keep warm in groups and follow the trend.
As an adult, if we find that a person is often alone and has few friends, but he can still get along well, it shows that this person is as capable as an animal and has something extraordinary, so he disdains to "follow the crowd."
The ancients paid special attention to "careful friendship", but Confucius told us a standard of making friends-"People who have no friends are not as good as themselves". What do you mean? In other words: don't make friends with people who are not as good as yourself. As long as there is something better than yourself, it is worth learning from others.
This is also the principle of making friends advocated by Zengguang Xianwen: "Making friends must be better than yourself, as if I were better than nothing." Make friends, make more people better than yourself. Otherwise, if you are similar to yourself and can't learn anything, you might as well not make friends. Even from the utilitarian point of view, we should make more friends with talented people, and unsociable people often belong to this category.
Mediocre people often have a harmonious relationship with the people around them; Excellent people often have tension with the people around them. If you are willing to be mediocre, there will be few obstructionists around you; But if you want to be outstanding, there will be many obstacles, because your Excellence will show the incompetence of others.
This is also an excellent person who doesn't fit in with others and is often regarded as the main reason for being different by people around him. As the saying goes, "the wood in the forest is beautiful in the forest, and the wind will destroy it;" When piled up on the shore, the water will surge; If you walk higher than others, the public will not do it. "
The better people are, the more lonely they are, because there are fewer and fewer people at the same level, which naturally makes them seem unsociable; If you follow the crowd, go with the flow and have no opinion, you will be farther and farther away from Excellence and Excellence.
Just as Zeng Guofan said to the younger generation in his letter: humble people abide by those vulgar laws and like to follow the trend and go with the flow. The longer, the more humble. People with lofty aspirations admire and learn from the sages of past dynasties. Although unsociable, it will become more and more prominent after a long time.
Writer Jiang has a famous saying: "Read more books, or your outlook on life will be decided by your relatives and friends"! This sentence is especially suitable for gregarious young people who give up the ascending channel because of their sense of security.
On the contrary, it is an affirmation to the unsociable people, because they are independent, thoughtful and independent, and their lives are decided by themselves, which will inevitably be very different and brilliant. Therefore, please be kind to people who don't fit in, because they are often excellent enough for us to make friends.
In life, there is a kind of person who is "born in cool thin", which also gives people the feeling of being unsociable. Such people are often very kind, have been hurt by others, learn from their mistakes, be more careful with others, and no longer give their true feelings easily. In fact, behind their cold faces, there is often a sincere enthusiasm hidden.
As "Caigen Tan" said: "People tend to neglect the end point, but are not easy to get close to the starting point." It is better to be cautious when getting close to others than to alienate and break up easily in the end.
On the contrary, we should pay more attention to those who are enthusiastic and sociable. Because people know their faces but don't know their hearts, many people have a cold heart hidden behind their warm faces. The ancients said: "People who make promises easily will have little faith, and those who are praised on their faces will have no back." People who promise others easily will have little integrity. He who praises others to their face must speak ill of others behind their backs.
Zhuangzi is the kind of person who was born in cool thin and is unsociable in appearance, but extremely kind in heart. Chu Zhuangwang sent someone to invite Zhuangzi to be prime minister, but Zhuangzi was indifferent to the lure of fame and fortune, and even showed indifference and disloyalty, just like a lonely tree guarding the soul moon at night. In fact, Zhuangzi's eyes are extremely cold and his heart is extremely hot, because he is afraid that his sincerity will be hurt by the cruel reality.
Mr. Lu Xun looks indifferent, but he sees it thoroughly and clearly. "Look at a thousand fingers coldly, bow your head and be a willing ox" is his silent cry to the enemy and his infinite tenderness to the people. Mr. Lu Xun is also a seemingly unsociable person, but he has a kind heart. Therefore, people who are unsociable are often kind-hearted and worthy of deep friendship.
People who are unsociable are often hurt, afraid of being hurt again, and unwilling to go bad and hurt others. Therefore, they would rather knock out their teeth, swallow blood and wrap themselves up. In fact, they are kind and need to be treated well. A person is strong because of ruthlessness and weak because of affection.
On the contrary, people who are good at socializing often don't mean what they say, just as Confucius said, "Clever words are refreshing." Although unsociable people are not easy to get along with, they are often good and kind enough, so they deserve to be treated well and become friends.
Today's topic: Are there any unsociable people around you?
Thinking of the monarch-helping personal growth, promoting traditional culture and spreading the wisdom of Chinese studies.