Pay attention to the first impression

Generally speaking, the time to deliberately promote yourself is when you meet someone for the first time. In this situation, a person's first impression is very critical, whether it is others towards you or you towards others. If others have a bad first impression of you, it will be very difficult to change others' opinions of you in subsequent communications, and it often requires more effort. Although we said in the previous article that "first impression" is a misunderstanding that we should strive to overcome in communication, almost all people cannot completely achieve this. In fact, this is also in line with people's psychological norms, because people often leave the deepest impression on a certain thing or person when they meet for the first time. For example, for the same person, different people may have completely opposite evaluations of him. The reason is that when people first meet him, they see different aspects of him and form a psychological stereotype in their hearts, so that they will observe and judge him based on this stereotype in future interactions.

To make a good first impression, you should first dress appropriately. As the saying goes: Buddha needs gold, people need clothes. A person's clothing can reflect his rich inner world, knowledge, cultivation, aesthetic taste, etc. Improper clothing can arouse people's disgust and leave a bad first impression. For example, if a teacher walks onto the stage dressed as a "Western Cowboy" or a backup dancer, he will definitely not be respected by the students. No matter how good the class is and how high the level is, it will be difficult to change this situation. In addition, "Everyone has a love for beauty." Beautiful and decent clothes often give people a pleasant feeling first, making people want to continue to interact with him. Although the old saying "Respect Luo Yi first and then respect others" may be morally lacking, it is, after all, a realistic social concept that we cannot change. In fact, this is "justifiable", because it will take a while for the other person to understand your "inner beauty", but clothing that reflects a person's personality can be seen clearly at a glance, leaving an intuitive impression.

Of course, you should pay attention to your clothes, which does not mean you have to wear luxurious clothes. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Blindly pursuing luxury will give people the impression of vulgarity. The key is to be neat and generous and reflect people's inner qualities. Many large companies in the United States have "regulations" on the dress code of their employees, and it does not mean how well they dress or the quality of the fabric. The key is that they must meet aesthetic requirements.

In a monograph, the author puts forward six requirements for dressing: 1. Have your shoes been polished? 2． Are there any threads stuck to the trouser legs? 3. Is your shirt buttoned? 4. Have you shaved your beard? 5. Have you combed your hair? 6. Have you noticed the rips in your clothes?

Actually, these are all very small details, but it is these "minutiae" that can often leave a good impression on people.

Quotes on Relationships

Profit comes from customers, not products.

Tom Johnson

The best distance to leave a good impression on the other party

In a market economy society, it is natural to socialize every day . In this situation, if you want to make the other person like you, you can make use of psychological knowledge to maintain an ideal distance from your conversation partner.

So what is the ideal conversation distance? Psychologists have conducted experiments and come to a conclusion: talking at a closer distance can create a harmonious atmosphere and eliminate tension. The most suitable distance is when one party reaches out his hand to reach the other party, which is about 50 centimeters.

If you want to open up a social situation as soon as possible and adapt to the environment, then every time you greet or talk to someone, you should pay attention to shortening the distance as much as possible. Even if you go to a new unit that you have never been to to contact for work, or deal with someone you don't know, you have to be bold and walk up to him to talk. Of course, it should be noted that getting closer does not mean being intimate. Especially when dealing with superiors or women, you should not be reckless, otherwise the other party will feel resentful and think that you have no rules or bad intentions, which will be self-defeating.

Quotations on Relationships

If you don’t succeed at first, you will only be mediocre.

Anderson

Those who know how to ask for advice are easy to be appreciated

Office men in their twenties, because they are young and energetic and like to insist on their own opinions, have a lot of problems with young people. The elders especially refused to lower their faces to ask for advice. Some of them think it is rude to ask others for advice.

However, from the perspective of an older person, I always appreciate people who ask for advice. "I'm sorry, I have something to trouble you with." I can only feel happy that I often receive requests from my juniors.

In fact, not only the elderly, we also like to be relied on by others. People always prefer those who ask for advice from themselves rather than those who must rely on themselves. So, you don’t have to be shy about asking people for advice.

People who understand the distance between themselves and others seem to occasionally say some disrespectful words indifferently, which makes people sweat. However, it is like a rubber ball connected with a rubber band. Because you know the distance will not offend the other party, even if you say something rude, it will still bounce back to you like a rubber ball. If you don't understand the sense of distance, the ball may hit the opponent, or even become deeply embedded in the opponent, unable to bounce back. "What a rude fellow!" The other person will undoubtedly be irritated.

How to master the subtle relationship that cannot go further after reaching a certain distance? The secret is to see through the other person's mind and ask for advice from the other person humbly.

Because you are worried that the ball will hit the opponent, "just stay away anyway". People who always have a shrinking mentality will not be appreciated no matter what. Only those who know how to ask for advice without losing etiquette can build good relationships with others.

Be humble and you will gain an audience

In the world of office workers, the simplest and most effective way to get to know others is to discuss things with them or ask them for advice. "I would like to ask you for advice on this matter." It is a basic principle to bow to others and ask for help. It is impossible to win friendship when you bow your head to salute but show off something in turn.

When others ask for guidance on something they know well, people's self-esteem will naturally be flattered. This kind of thing is not limited to golf swing skills. Even if it is about work secrets, when someone asks for guidance, almost no one will say something like "It's annoying, it's too much!". It would be better to say that the vast majority of people are in a hurry to give advice. After all, there are more "people who want to teach" than "people who want to ask for advice."

The act of bowing your head to others will definitely bring you closer to each other. It also has the advantage of absorbing various intelligence from its opponents. On the other hand, if you take the initiative to give advice, or if you offer opinions that the other party completely ignores, you will not be able to establish friendship with the other party.

Since I didn’t understand almost everything when I was young, it would undoubtedly be a loss if I didn’t know how to ask for help from others humbly. A company is basically like a school. Think of it as a place where you can both learn knowledge and receive a salary. If it is a company with 3,000 employees, it is equivalent to having 3,000 role models. Even if the other person is younger than you, as long as there is something worth learning from, you should continue to ask for help humbly.

The so-called person who truly has the ability to do things must be able to bow to others and ask for help without any resistance. Since the work content of different departments in the company is completely different, even juniors must know many secrets that they are not familiar with. It’s important to have a frank attitude towards asking the other person for their expertise.

When asking for help from others, be sure to ask specific questions. "Please teach me something." If you ask such a casual question casually, the other party will definitely not know where to start. For example, "I want to ask you about advertising." "This is an embarrassing question.

Therefore, be sure to prepare some specific materials before asking others for help. Prepare what you want to say before the meeting

No matter what Everyone wants to meet that person - if you have such a person in mind, you might as well mention it to everyone, although this person may be a distant person like a celebrity, or someone who is close by but has no chance to meet. , but as long as you say you want to meet, someone will definitely pass the message on your behalf.

So, maybe someone will arrange a meeting for you. As far as the other person is concerned, "Someone wants to meet you." oh! "Even if you hear this message through others, you will not be unhappy, and may even have the idea of ??meeting you. No matter who hears someone saying "someone wants to meet you", they will never feel disgusted.

In addition, if the two parties meet by chance, as long as the message that you want to meet the other party has been conveyed, the other party will be happy to meet you.

However, when you finally meet the person you have long wanted to know, It would be a pity to break up after only exchanging ordinary greetings.

Even in banquets and other occasions, when there is only a few minutes to talk, only exchange business cards and make false greetings such as "You are very busy at work," or if you have the ability to propose a There will be a big difference between the impression you make on the other person and the feelings you experience about a specific issue that interests you.

Everyone will feel nervous when meeting someone they want to meet for the first time. But you can't come up with a pleasant topic in the blink of an eye. Therefore, you must have the confidence to be confident when you meet at any time, "If we meet, I will ask this question." Always be mentally prepared.

Since you want to see the other person wholeheartedly, the questions you are interested in and want to ask the other person must be very rich. If you ask the other person, "What kind of work are you currently engaged in?" No matter who it is, they must be thinking, "This person knows nothing about me."

This is very disrespectful. Even if it is actually the person you have always wanted to know, if you ask such a question unexpectedly, your enthusiasm will not be conveyed at all.

If you can fully prepare your questions and put forward specific content, the other party will definitely think happily, "This person cares about me and has investigated me carefully!" In this way, the impression of the first meeting will be improved. It will surely strengthen and perhaps develop a closer relationship with each other. Even if you don't have a question you want to ask, bring up something you want to talk about.

Because popular people meet quite a lot of people every day, it is not easy to simply remember your characteristics. However, as long as you adopt a strong impression of the meeting method, the other person will definitely like you when you meet again next time. Will remember you.

Quotes on Relationships

Pay attention to the difference between when a person tells himself "I failed three times" and "I am a loser."

Hoykova

Distinguish yourself by listening carefully

When encountering the attitude of many people towards one person in places such as lectures, in order to There are two ways to make that speaker aware of your presence.

First, the speaker actively raises his hand to speak when asking questions. Since Americans are trained from childhood to learn by asking questions to teachers, any question is likely to be asked. "Why did you ask that question?" Even though the question made people around me feel that way, I asked it nonchalantly.

However, many of us are quite averse to asking questions to highlight ourselves. This is because people who raise their hands during questions and answers tend to be seen as pushy or annoying.

Another way to highlight your personal attractiveness is to listen carefully to what the other person is saying. Although this is a natural thing, surprisingly many people ignore the content of the other party's conversation. When listening to a speech, because they are mixed in a large crowd, this kind of person always thinks that even if he seriously contributes, the speaker will not notice him.

However, in fact, as long as you imagine yourself in the speaker's position, you can fully understand that this is not the case. Even if there are as many as 200 people in the audience, everyone seems to be within reach. Even in a venue with a capacity of 1,000 people, the faces of the entire audience are clearly visible.

Therefore, you can know how attentively an audience member listens to your speech while you are speaking. Impressive people are, after all, people who listen carefully and never miss the key points. At the end of the speech, although a large number of people will come forward to exchange business cards, "Ah, that is the audience who has been listening carefully", the speaker will also have a good impression of him.

Therefore, if you want to get close to the speaker, you must first listen carefully to what the other person is saying.

It is unacceptable to listen to a speech carelessly and only hope to create an impression after exchanging business cards after the speech. Whether you listen carefully with problem awareness or listen with a careless attitude, the speaker can completely see through.

Asking questions to create an impression may be difficult, but it can be done if you just listen carefully. Therefore, instead of playing tricks, you should truly have the intention of "I want to get close to the other person", and this intention will inevitably be conveyed to the other person.

Quotes on interpersonal relationships

If you want to win the favor of others, you must first learn to show off your strengths.

Basga

Write down the time or phone number in person

When meeting people for business negotiations, they sometimes make an appointment for the next date before breaking up. At this time, "Then, let's tentatively schedule it for next Monday!" Although many people will make a rash promise verbally, some people will feel a little uneasy about this kind of agreement.

No matter what kind of date it is, in order to completely confirm the time, it is best to deliberately open a notebook in front of the other person and record it. Even if you are confident in your memory, this is certainly a way to put the other person at ease. Its intention is not for yourself, but for the other person.

If you only agree to a date verbally, the other party may think, "Will you forget about it in a blink of an eye?" Or, "Will you cancel the appointment casually?" "And I think that if you don't confirm it again the day before the date, you will definitely not feel at ease. Even if you never forget or cancel the date, if you keep using this verbal agreement method, it may be difficult to establish a trusting relationship with each other.

In short , even though the date has been set, a verbally agreed date is actually the same as "having a casual meal together when we have time", giving people the impression of an "absolutely unfulfillable promise". If it is a slightly important promise, it will definitely be given. People feel very flippant.

If you agree to a date in a hasty way, the other person will feel that his relationship with you is being treated lightly. He may think that you and him will be careless once you have to meet someone more important. The appointment may be cancelled.

In order to prevent the other party from feeling this way, be sure to record the date in your notebook immediately. If you can do this carefully, the date will naturally convey your interest in you. This is very important information for you. Not only will you remember it, but you will not cancel or change it rashly.

Because the other party may take the same approach when seeing you record it in your notebook, so you both will. You will not forget the agreement. Moreover, because the other party will feel that you are "a person who values ??dating me," their trust in you will also increase. It is best to put the relevant information in the handbook in front of the other party.

For example, when you receive the business card, you should immediately copy the phone number into the handbook in front of the other party, because it is usually even if you receive it. The business card may not record everyone's phone number in the handbook, so this alone means that you value the other person. In this way, the other person will happily feel that "this person is interested in continuing to keep in touch with me." Greeting people by their full name

Whether you can immediately recall the other person's full name when you meet will make a difference in the intimacy between you and the other person. For example, if you can write the other person's name immediately on a document, for example. If you give your full name, the other person will definitely feel happy. On the contrary, just like writing the wrong name on a New Year's card is unpleasant, if you ask the other person, "What is your name?" "Feng Fang must have felt embarrassed and stunned.

Letting the other person remember your name is the starting point for establishing interpersonal relationships. Therefore, when you salute someone, it is best to state your full name. For example When Europeans and Americans sign up, they must first state their full name, and then add the name of the company they work for. This is because it has become a rule for Japanese office workers to state the company name first and then add their personal surname. You are completely attached to the company in consciousness, and you cannot have personal-to-personal business contacts at any time. Therefore, if you want to get close to the other person, be sure to greet the other person by his or her full name and remember the other person's full name.

When sending a fax, both the recipient's name and your signature should be written in full. Usually, the company name, unit name, and the other party's name will be written in full in the recipient's name of the fax. However, if it is confirmed, it can be passed to the other party. When it comes to the company you belong to, instead of filling in the company name, it is better to write the other person's full name, which will make the other party feel happier and more friendly. If there are other people with the same surname in the same company, it will definitely cause trouble for the recipient if you only write the surname. .

The trouble caused by people with the same surname also happens frequently on the phone. If you ask: "Is Mr. × here?" "The other party may reply, "There are two Mr. × here, which one are you looking for? "If it is the first time you call someone and you only leave your name, it will make people feel speechless. Therefore, even if it is an opponent you have contacted several times, when you ask the other party to return the call, be sure to mention the rumor. Leave your name in.

Accept the assignment gladly

There are many cases where young employees are assigned to serve as officers for internal company events such as company meetings.

One of the reasons is that the upper management prefers to delegate troublesome tasks other than business to subordinates. Another reason is that young employees can learn a lot. It can bring opportunities to get to know colleagues from different parts of the company who you don’t usually meet.

If this kind of activity is a company-wide activity, you will have the opportunity to explain the activity procedures to colleagues and even senior managers who do not often visit the department, or to request adjustments to the schedule. In large companies, young employees have the opportunity to directly meet senior managers. If they are not responsible for work, they may have few other opportunities. Therefore, you should try your best to host the event.

Of course, being a director is never easy. There is no more troublesome errand. After taking over the task of doing things, almost all complaints were directed at the director. "The work efficiency of the clerks this year is really poor. There are constant complaints like this. Even though they are employees of the same company, the relationship between the clerks and other people has become like an antagonistic relationship between store clerks and customers.

Because Other colleagues have the mentality of being customers. If they are not 100% satisfied, they can just blame it on the matter. "In that case, why don't you try it yourself!" "Although I desperately want to refute it, I have to endure it. People who have never been a clerk cannot understand the hard work involved.

Such people naturally lack the ability to join forces to organize activities. Thoughts. Not only do you have to find time to prepare for activities when you are busy with your personal business, but if things go well, you will inevitably be complained if something goes wrong, so there is no other job that is more uneconomical than this. .

However, when a large amount of this kind of experience is accumulated, it will not be long before you can become a celebrity in the company. Moreover, those who have the ability to take on the tasks of officers will also change at work. Be competent and happy. Because no matter what kind of job, there are more or less the same factors required of an activity director, such as the organization of procedures, the adjustment of interpersonal relationships, etc.

Therefore, it only takes one employee to try it once. As a clerk, you can understand your own strength. This can almost be used as a test for new employees.

In order to build a network of interpersonal relationships within the company and reserve work strength, a clerk should be willing to take on the job. Come down.

First-class expenses are interpersonal development expenses

Recently, there are an increasing number of office workers who use their own money to make up for the shortfall and take high-end trains when traveling. What a waste of young people! "Although older bosses may not be happy about this, it makes a lot of sense when considering building relationships. Like upgrading your car's class, once you dine at a fancy restaurant or take a first-class train or first-class Etiquette or behavior will also change when traveling in a high-class atmosphere, and interpersonal relationships can be continuously improved.

Moreover, people who take first-class trains or first-class cabins will also be able to improve their interpersonal relationships. There are usually no designated seats or ordinary seats, so this is an opportunity for two people to sit next to each other and have a good conversation, although this does not mean that it is inevitable every time. There will be encounters, but just keep in mind that you may encounter something unexpected once every ten times.

The way to improve the level of interpersonal relationships is to try to create opportunities to meet high-level people. Without deliberate management, relationships can easily become connections between people of the same level, so you have to work hard to create opportunities for people with high levels to get acquainted naturally.

However, there are few examples. As long as you enter this kind of place with the purpose of establishing interpersonal relationships, even if you feel impatient at first, you will continue to improve as you actively work hard to interact with others.

Of course, Just constantly going in and out of high-end places cannot truly create high-level interpersonal relationships. If you can't improve your inner qualities, you will always be able to deal with low-level people. After all, you still need to work hard. < /p>

Quotes on interpersonal relationships

Talk face-to-face with the other person is the best way to eliminate each other’s bad feelings

Lincoln