01

Grandma is the only woman with small feet among her peers in the village.

When I was very young, I knew that my grandma mostly went to the fields to pick vegetables and never went to the fields to plant rice. At that time, I didn’t know why all the adults in the family, including my grandfather, had to go to the fields to plant rice. Why doesn't grandma go?

Later, when I grew up, I discovered that grandma had a pair of feet that were different from ours. Except for the big toe, all the other toes were tilted toward the big toe. The feet were pointed and pointed, and grandma’s shoes were also pointed. We are different, very sharp.

When I became sensible, I realized that my grandma had her feet bound when she was a child, so she would only have small feet throughout her life. Grandma wears pointed-toe cloth shoes all year round. No matter how hot the weather is, she never wears sandals with leaky toes. Just because grandma has small feet.

My grandma was probably born between 1910 and 1911. She doesn’t know the specific year, just because my great-grandmother died very early, leaving behind a five-year-old grandma and a three-year-old uncle. . Neither my grandma nor my uncle knew exactly what year they were born.

The mother-less grandmother and uncle lived a life without a father and a mother. At that time, my great-grandfather was working outside to make money to support the family all year round, and his two young children had to be entrusted to the elderly at home. But my grandma and uncle were too young at that time. Without the care of my mother, my father was not at home all year round, so my childhood life was difficult to imagine.

A year later, my great-grandfather renewed their relationship and married a stepmother to my grandmother and brother.

It was this stepmother who bound grandma’s little feet.

02

"Honestly speaking, my stepmother is okay with us siblings. She is not as cruel as others said. She didn't even bind my feet. The malice is because she herself has small feet. In the eyes of women with small feet, small feet are the most beautiful, and women with small feet can easily find a good husband." Grandma recalled the past, but she still couldn't blame that same person for her tragic past of foot binding. On the stepmother of fate.

Grandma should have been eight years old when she started foot binding, but in fact she was already past the optimal age for foot binding.

At the age of eight, the bones of the body have basically been finalized, so grandma only had her feet bound at that time, which was more painful than for a three or four-year-old girl.

"On the first day, I was in so much pain that I didn't even have the strength to scream or cry later. Your great-grandfather couldn't stand it, so he told my stepmother, otherwise forget it, too That's cruel. The stepmother disagreed, saying that only by having to endure hardships can one become a master. If one has bound feet, he will be able to marry into a good family. Otherwise, he will have to marry a poor man and work in the fields for the rest of his life. When I recalled the past, I felt calm, but when I heard it, my heart trembled. It was so cruel.

The grandmother with bound feet has been hobbling since then. Because of this, grandma couldn't work in the fields. Fortunately, she had the best job, spinning cotton and making cloth shoes. When I was a girl, when I was a teenager, until when I was middle-aged or older, my grandmother always spun and weaved. She never went into the water because of her small feet.

At the age of 15, the same age as Hua, grandma obeyed "the orders of her parents and the words of the matchmaker" and married her first husband. We call him Grandpa Xiao.

Grandpa Xiao’s family is well-off, and there are some workers at home to help with the work. The most important thing is that the Xiao family is kind, and word of mouth spreads throughout the villages. The young Grandpa Xiao was also the most handsome man at that time. As the eldest son and grandson of the family, Grandpa Xiao carried the hopes of the elders of their Xiao family.

Grandma’s stepmother was the happiest about this marriage. She felt that she was right to insist on having her feet bound. Although she was a little old at that time, her grandmother suffered a lot during the foot binding process. A lot of hardships, but finally the hardships came to an end and I married the man I wanted.

The newly married grandma is happy. Grandpa Xiao is a good husband, with a good temper, considerate and doting on grandma. Because grandma has small feet, the married grandma is only responsible for housework and spinning in her spare time. My father-in-law and mother-in-law were still very young at that time, only in their thirties, and they were very sensible.

During those years in the Xiao family, the young grandma lived a prosperous and comfortable life.

A year later, the Xiao family's uncle was born. The arrival of this new life brought new hope to the Xiao family. Grandma's life is better at Xiao's house. In the past, grandma did housework and spun cloth. After the uncle was born, the Xiao family's grandfather did not let grandma do anything. Grandma's task every day was to take good care of the uncle.

Grandma lived a comfortable life for several years. When my uncle was three years old, grandma’s world collapsed. Grandpa Xiao suddenly fell ill and passed away within two days. My grandmother, who was less than twenty years old, became a widow overnight!

The heartbroken grandma wanted to follow Xiao's grandfather from now on. However, seeing her young uncle, who had no backbone, she finally became very upset, turning the uncle who had just lost his father into a complete loser. of orphans.

03

The grandmother who became a widow has never smiled since then.

As for her parents-in-law, what they lost was not only their eldest son, but also the heir to the Xiao family. It is said that the superstitious elders went to have a divination, and the divination said that Grandma Kefu would be there.

The grandmother who lost her husband’s protection became an ominous symbol in the Xiao family. The originally amiable father-in-law and mother-in-law took out all their grievances for losing their son on grandma. Grandma's life has plummeted since then, but in order to survive and for her uncle, grandma can only swallow her anger.

Soon, grandma’s stepmother learned about her stepdaughter’s difficult situation in the Xiao family and took grandma back to her parents’ home. However, the Xiao family’s uncle, as the only flesh and blood of the Xiao family’s grandfather, was forcibly left behind. Of course, even if she was not forced to stay, the helpless grandmother would not be able to raise her young son.

Soon, the stepmother arranged a new marriage for grandma. Because grandma is a widow, no matter how young she is, she cannot change the fact that she is a widow. People from better-off families basically look down on grandma. And grandma has small feet. Ordinary country men do not have the concept of men farming and women weaving. In that era, being able to work in the fields was the most important thing.

04

My grandma finally married my grandpa, who was older at the time. My grandfather is also from the country. Why would he marry a widowed grandmother with small feet? It’s because my grandfather’s family is really poor. It would be nice to have a wife to carry on the family line. It’s not that I don’t want to choose, but I don’t have the capital to be picky.

So, the twenty-one-year-old grandma entered my grandpa’s house.

Before she got married, grandma still wanted to fight with the Xiao family for the custody of her uncle. Although the uncle was the eldest son and grandson of the Xiao family, he was the meat that fell from grandma, and he had never been born. In a sense, the uncle is also a way for grandma to miss Grandpa Xiao.

However, grandma was disappointed after all, because grandpa couldn't pass this test. On the one hand, older grandfathers do not have children themselves and are not willing to raise other people's children as soon as they get married. On the other hand, the family is too poor and will have children of their own in the future. Adding another person to eat is not just a matter of placing an extra bowl or an extra pair of chopsticks, but also a matter of needing food to fill the rice bowl. Grandma couldn't work in the fields because of her small feet. Grandpa married a wife who could only eat and couldn't work.

In order not to be underestimated by grandpa, grandma started spinning and weaving every day. In order to spin thread, my grandma planted a plant called "hemp" around the house the second year after she got married. When the hemp matured, grandma would stagger to the fields to harvest the hemp. Home, then skin the skin, dry it, spin it, weave it, and sell it.

In the difficult years, my grandmother had this skill, which made up for the shortcomings of her small feet that could not go to the fields to plant rice, and she was also able to shoulder the responsibility of supporting the family.

Not long after, my uncle, father, third uncle, aunt and brother-in-law were born one after another. The burden on the family is getting heavier and heavier.

However, the most difficult thing is not that the family is impoverished, but that the grandmother is in the war, dragging her children with her daughter to avoid the burning, killing and looting of the Japanese.

I asked grandma, isn’t there still a grandpa? Why are you dragging several children to hide from the Japanese?

Grandma said, your grandfather was afraid of death. When he heard that Little Japan was coming, he was so frightened that he ran away. Your uncle was not born yet. I have pitiful little feet, one on my back, and another in my arms. Your uncle and your father were bigger, so they held my clothes, and the five of us ran into the mountains together. It was also fateful that little Japan didn't come to the village until we reached the mountains and found a cave to hide. Otherwise, your grandfather would be the only one among us.

05

Speaking of my grandfather’s fear of death, I witnessed it with my own eyes when I was young.

One time my grandpa fell ill with a cold. He probably had a stuffy nose and cough, and was a little breathless. My grandpa was so anxious that he shouted, "Take me to a doctor quickly, I don't want to die."

One can imagine how afraid Grandpa was of becoming the target of the demonic Japanese soldiers! However, the fact that he abandoned his little-footed grandmother and five young children and just ran for his own life was really not what a husband or father did.

I think grandma who was on the way to escape was not only afraid, but also completely disappointed with grandpa, right?

Later, when the war stopped, life was still poor, and grandma’s wish to take over Uncle Xiao’s family was never realized.

Watching the Xiao family’s uncle grow up, get married, and have children in the Xiao family. The Xiao family has a new generation of grandchildren, and grandma has another concern. Little Foot’s grandma takes time out several times a year to visit the Xiao family’s grandson. Although she was more than twenty miles away from home, and although she had trouble walking, nothing could stop her.

In the early 1980s, my grandfather died in his sleep. Grandma became a widow again, but at this time she already had children and grandchildren.

Grandma, who has entered old age, has been living with her unmarried brother-in-law since her grandfather passed away. Mother and son take care of each other, support each other, and depend on each other for life.

Since my uncle joined the army and moved to a province thousands of miles away from home decades ago, the only people who can actually take care of my grandma are the three sons who stayed at home, my father, third uncle and brother-in-law. But grandma took pity on her uncle's loneliness and insisted on living with him, so that mother and son would not be separated.

So, the most profound impression in my memory is that whenever there was something delicious at home, my parents would let me go to my uncle's house and ask my grandma to come over for dinner. So, grandma would slowly follow me, one big and one small, walking staggeringly on the country road full of pebbles.

Sometimes, I would struggle to hold my grandma’s arm, but grandma would always put down my hand lovingly and let me look at the road, and she could walk on her own.

When grandma finished her meal and wanted to go back to her uncle's house, it was my task to send grandma back.

If it’s rainy and it’s difficult for grandma to walk, my parents will fill a bowl with delicious food and ask me to deliver it to grandma.

06

When grandma was in her eighties, her body was still very strong.

When the weather is nice, she will take small steps, twist a small bucket, go to the well to wash clothes, or go to the field to help her uncle pick vegetables. At that time, grandma could not only take care of herself, but also help her uncle raise pigs and cook.

Grandma often said that while she can still move, she can help her uncle as much as possible. When she leaves, he will have to rely on himself for everything.

Sometimes, grandma will say sadly, what will my uncle do when she is gone? If you have no children, you won’t even have anyone to take care of you until you die.

Her kind-hearted mother would always comfort her. She had no children and so many nieces and nephews, so she would not let her uncle be without support when he grew old.

Grandma seemed to have heard her mother’s promise. At least, it would be impossible for her children to see her brother-in-law alone and helpless in the future.

However, no one expected that my uncle would go ahead of grandma in a way that none of us could have imagined. It was during the off-season, and my uncle was playing poker with a few people in the village when he suddenly collapsed.

By the time 120 came, my uncle had stopped breathing.

When my uncle left, my grandmother, who was almost ninety years old, hardly recognized people. Until my grandmother passed away, we were not sure whether she knew about my uncle's departure.

After my uncle left, my father and third uncle took turns taking care of grandma. But grandma didn't stay at her third uncle's house for long. In the last few years of her life, her father and mother basically took care of her.

Grandma, who is almost octogenarian, has shrunk even more due to old age. Initially, walking was inconvenient due to my small feet, but later I was almost unable to move and spent the whole day in bed.

Although grandma has a large family of children and grandchildren, including the descendants of the uncle Xiao family, it can be regarded as five generations living under one roof. But grandma has almost completely forgotten her children and grandchildren. The only thing she can remember is my parents who took care of her all year round. Even her youngest son, whom she loved the most and was most worried about, was barely mentioned.

Therefore, we guess that grandma should actually be aware of her brother-in-law’s departure, but none of us would say it, and she was unwilling to touch the most painful corner of her heart.

At the age of ninety-four, as the only woman with small feet in our village, my grandma ended her long and tortuous life.

From then on, there were no old people in our village who hobbled because of their small feet. This was also the complete end of the era of small feet.