1. "Meng Yizi asked about filial piety."

Confucius said that filial piety means not disobeying.

Meng Yizi may not have understood what Confucius meant and did not answer. In short, the conversation was over. If he didn't answer, Confucius would have nothing to say. So he had to find another place to pour it out so that the words could be spread. "Fan Chi Yu", Fan Chi drove Confucius, and Confucius chatted with Fan Chi.

Confucius said to Fan Chi: "Meng Sun asked me about filial piety, and I told him that filial piety means not disobeying."

Fan Chi asked: "Sir, what do you mean by this?" What do you mean? "

Confucius said: "When parents are alive, they should be treated with etiquette. When parents die, they should be buried with etiquette. This is filial piety." /p>

Confucius here mainly refers to funerals and sacrificial rituals. If you are too simple, you are unfilial. If it goes too far, it will trap the parents into disloyalty and unrighteousness, which is also unfilial.

"Meng Yizi" was a senior official in the state of Lu, one of the three families, and the head of the Mengsun family. He asked Confucius what filial piety was. Confucius's answer was originally directed at him, because the "three families" were at the level of officials. At that time, the funeral ceremonies of the three families often violated the rules, sometimes using the rites of Lu Gong, and sometimes even using the emperor's rites. This is unfilial and disorderly, and this is how the chaos in Lu began.

2. Meng Wubo asked about filial piety.

Meng Wubo, the son of Meng Yizi, also came to ask Confucius what filial piety is.

Confucius said, let your parents only worry about your illness. It means that you are filial if you can be yourself and don't let your parents worry about you. Only when you are sick, your parents will worry about you, and nothing else is necessary.

Today, you don’t have to worry about your parents’ work, marriage, or buying a house. You don’t have to worry about your bad habits, taking drugs, etc. They don’t worry about anything about you. At most, they only worry about you when you are sick. If you can do this, you don't have to do anything for your parents. You are already very filial.

3. Ziyou asked about filial piety.

Ziyou, whose surname is Yan, given name Yan, and courtesy name Ziyou, is one of the "Ten Philosophers of Confucius" and a native of Wu. Confucius praised him: "My gate has Yan, and my way is to the south." In other words, with Ziyou, Confucius's teachings were spread in the south.

Confucius replied: "Today's filial son is said to be filial if he can provide for his parents with food, clothing, shelter and transportation. Then can't dogs and horses also support the old and feed their young? If there is no respect, but just raising, what is the same as dogs and horses? The difference? "

This is the origin of the word "filial piety". To have filial piety, one must first have respect, respect in the heart, and filial piety in action.

So don’t just send money to your parents to be filial. You must be able to support them and respect them. Young people think they know more than the elderly, and it is unfilial to despise the elderly and show no respect and respect.

4. Zixia asked about filial piety.

Zixia, whose surname was Bu, whose name was Shang, and whose courtesy name was Zixia, was one of the "Ten Philosophers of Confucius".

Confucius said that the most difficult thing is the look! Always stay cheerful. When something happens, young people rush to do it and don't let the old people work. If there is food and wine, it should be laid out and served to the elders first, so that they can eat first. Does this count as filial piety?

This does not count. "Book of Rites? Jiyi Chapter" says: "A filial son who loves his parents deeply must have a gentle attitude, a gentle person must have a cheerful look, and a happy look must have a graceful appearance." A filial son who loves his parents deeply must first have a gentle attitude and a gentle attitude. Only when you are nice will you be kind to your parents, and when you are nice will you have a sincere smile towards your parents.

So the look on your parents’ faces also comes from the inside out, and grace must come from the heart. When you face your parents, you have a fake smile on your face. When you turn your back, you feel resentful: It’s really troublesome. This is unacceptable, it is extremely disrespectful and unfilial.

Extended information:

Looking at Confucius’ teaching of students in accordance with their aptitude from the perspective of “asking for filial piety”

When Meng Yizi asked about filial piety, his parents were no longer alive, and he wanted to be in front of his parents. It is impossible to fulfill filial piety, so Confucius mainly talked about filial piety from the perspective of what should be done after the death of parents, so he came up with the answer of "bury them with etiquette and sacrifice them with etiquette". Moreover, Meng Yizi, as a high official, openly attacked Lu Zhaogong and forced Zhaogong to flee. This obviously violated the etiquette of a monarch and his ministers.

Therefore, we have reason to believe that the reason why Confucius emphasized "propriety" to Meng Yizi on the issue of filial piety is probably because he wanted to use this pun to instruct Meng Yizi to act according to etiquette and not to exceed it. Etiquette is the same for father and son, as well as for kings and ministers. It is not difficult to see that Confucius's teaching of students in accordance with their aptitude was not limited to "teaching" by discussing matters, and sometimes he could also express his political stance and ideas.

It is said that Meng Wubo, the son of Meng Yizi, was arrogant, extravagant, sensual, and committed many unjust acts. To this day, it is still said that he has the reputation of "getting fat by breaking his promises". Therefore, in response to his question about filial piety, Confucius replied: "Parents only worry about their children's illness." That is, parents have nothing to worry about except their children's health. This is filial piety.

On the contrary, Meng Wubo was just the opposite. Since he was nicknamed "Wu", he must have been brave and combative during his lifetime. He probably didn't have any physical diseases that his parents should worry about too much. But in other aspects, such as virtue and reputation, does his parents need to worry? This requires Meng Wubo to reflect carefully.