Joy or mourn regardless of age.

Everything that deserves death belongs to happy events, but is only used to spite and enrage enemies.

Those who are close neighbors are those who have been ill for a long time and suffered too much. Death is a happy event, that is, they no longer suffer.

As for the elderly who are generally over 60 years old, their death can be classified as a mourning event, that is to say, relatives and friends do not need to be too sad.

Nowadays, Chinese people basically have a life span of about 70 years, and those who exceed it will be in mourning.

It’s just that in some places, people who are over 80 years old or even 90 years old are considered to be happy and mournful.

Joy and mourning originally meant that the relatives and friends of the deceased would not express grief. The ancients still had a celebration ceremony, and some areas still retain this celebration style.

This is a result of the practical application of life and death. The euthanasia discussed in recent years is a reconsideration of this concept.

The essence is caused by focusing on the quality of life.

That is, there are people who are in pain all over the body but cannot die. There is no improvement after long-term treatment. Life is too painful, and death is a relief.

On the other hand, those who can move around and have fewer illnesses means that they can return home even if they are hundreds of years old. This is because they know that their family has longevity genes, so they have a higher morale than those who died in their 40s. Much more.

In this question, at what age does the death of an elderly person mean joy or mourning, which has a different meaning from the above. It specifically refers to the feeling of not being sad and less sad, but it is called joyful mourning. Therefore, regardless of age, people who have been sick for a long time will be joyful and mourning when they die. It specifically refers to the elderly, and now they should be called happy mourning if they are over 80 years old. Because the average life expectancy is over 70 years old.

In rural areas, you can hire opera troupes to sing operas. Therefore, don’t be surprised when you see opera singers being invited to funerals in rural areas. Rather, it is a way of treating the elderly people when they have passed away to show their longevity.

Wukong asked if we should leave something on it after looking at it. I feel that my grandma’s death that year should be called a joyful mourning, and the people in the village also think so.

She lived to be ninety-seven without any illness or disaster. She was completely able to take care of herself in the first half of the year, but on October 1, she suddenly couldn't eat.

After we heard about it, we hurried back from other places. She was still very conscious and talking to us one by one, but she was already extremely weak. At that time, we asked a doctor to give her a sling bottle. The potion couldn't even be injected. The doctor said that all the blood vessels had shrunk.

Later, when I was lying and talking with her, she sighed: I am too old and my life is no longer interesting.

He also asked me about my life, etc., and I felt very clear-headed.

Later, in the early hours of the morning, my parents were resting with her. They said they felt that the old man’s breathing slowed down and stopped.

While shouting, they quickly took out old clothes and put them on. At that time, they also shouted: Mom, stretch your legs so you can get dressed!

Grandma was actually very cooperative. After wearing it, there is no smell at all.

At that time, people in the village said it was a happy funeral.

All the children in the village came to grandma’s coffin and touched it, which meant they would be blessed with longevity.

Some people came specifically to ask for the steamed buns from grandma’s banquet, saying that they would take them back and give them to their elderly family members to eat, and they would live longer.

I feel like this is joy and mourning.

Died without illness. I wish grandma is well in another world!

Although our final destination is the same, and we will all be buried in a handful of loess in the end, no matter how old we are, at the moment we pass away, what is left to our living relatives is endless sorrow and sorrow. Reluctant to leave, and endless thoughts in the years to come.

It’s been three years since Nong’s wife’s 91-year-old mother passed away. Although she passed away peacefully in my arms, she still can’t let me stop thinking about my mother. I walked out of the hospital, and the scene of the funeral at home when my mother left still clearly comes to mind.

The night my mother left was around 8pm on the 25th of March in the lunar calendar of 2018. My mother left suddenly while I was feeding her, before the meal was finished. In a hurry, my brothers quickly notified the people at the village funeral committee. After all the matters were taken care of for the old mother, I burst into tears after recovering from the panic. The pain of losing my mother suddenly was indescribable. At this time, the neighbors and elders who came to help in the village said to me, don't let me cry, my mother is "happy and mourning" and it is a "good thing". Such "happy and mourning" is rare. With the comfort of the neighbors, I stopped crying and thanked the old neighbors who came to see my mother for the last time.

The next day, all the sisters-in-law from my family came and told me that we sisters were not allowed to cry during the funeral. The sisters-in-law said that my mother was a real "old woman". "Happy mourning" is a blessing, not all deaths of old people can be called "happy mourning".

I asked what is the real "joy and mourning"? Old sisters-in-law told me: According to the popular saying, happiness and mourning are those who have both happiness and longevity. That is to say, people like your mother, who have both happiness and longevity but die without illness, are considered happy and mourning.

The old sisters-in-law went on to say, look at your mother, she is over ninety years old and the oldest in our village. Before she left, not one of the eight children she gave birth to died before her. They are all alive and well, and there are many children and grandchildren in your family. Look at the large family in your family. This is your mother’s blessing. Regardless of your mother’s longevity, there are several people who can live to be over ninety and are still alive. Your mother is over ninety years old and has not been a burden to her children. She died without any pain or itching, and she even had a good walk. She was gone all of a sudden, and she left so peacefully. She died without any illness, and she was not tortured by any illness at all. This is What is it if it’s not joy? This is the real "happy mourning", so you can't cry.

After listening to the explanations of the old sisters-in-law, I came to understand "happy mourning". It turns out that to be called "happy mourning", the deceased must meet certain standards. Conditional. In people's minds, the definition of this standard condition is age, living children, and no suffering from illness or misfortune in the last moment. The elderly who die in this way are called real "happy mourners"

Of course , there are different ways of understanding happiness and mourning in various places, but in general, they are mostly the same. In fact, the original meaning of the so-called "happy mourning" is a way for people to comfort the relatives of the deceased. The purpose is to let the relatives of the deceased grieve. After all, the deceased is gone, although we will eventually have to take that path. The road, but now the living still have to continue. Although they are reluctant to leave their deceased relatives, grief cannot restore the cycle of life. We living people can only keep the grief and longing in our hearts and live our current life well. Everyone Say yes!

I have participated in a funeral somewhere in western Hunan, and it turns out that funerals can still be done this way!

Fortunately for me, my hometown doesn’t have this custom, otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to invite the coffin bearers! Joy and mourning are the last pursuits of every local elderly person, but only a very few elderly people can achieve their wishes!

1. Must be an elderly person over 80 years old, and both parents (in-laws) have passed away for more than 3 years.

Many old people can meet this condition. After all, they are over 80. If their parents are still alive, they will not be a hundred years old.

2. There must be four generations living under the same roof (old man, son, grandson, great-grandson).

Only male members of the family are counted. If the fourth generation is a great-granddaughter, they are not counted; married daughters and granddaughters are not counted, no matter how many generations they have been reproduced.

This condition is very harsh, especially for those born in the 80s and 90s, who have fewer brothers and sisters and fewer children. If their father also has few brothers, it will be difficult for their grandparents to fulfill their wishes of joy and death.

3. Must die at home.

Those who die outside are not counted; those who die violently are not counted; those who die from illness are not counted (this rule has now been completely liberalized, and people who die purely naturally from old age are really pitiful).

There are often only one or two elderly people who can meet these conditions at the same time in a village with a population of more than 100, and the proportion is probably no more than 5%. A happy funeral is to treat the funeral as a happy event. Some of the etiquette and supplies are the same as those for a wedding, which is very different from the ordinary white funeral.

1. Future generations can smile and smile

The death of an old man should be a sad thing, and future generations should cry. There is also the custom of "crying in mourning" in many places; Mourning is different. It is a joy for future generations to congratulate the old man on his death. Not only does he not have to cry, but he can also rejoice, talk and laugh.

2. Post a red list

In the local area, two notices need to be posted for funerals, one is the obituary, and the other is the deacon list (for weddings and funerals, you need to ask the villagers to help, the deacon list is Supervisor’s notice assigning each person’s work).

If it is a white funeral, both papers must be written on white paper; if it is a happy funeral, both papers must be written on red paper.

3. Paste red couplets

Same as the list, use white paper for white mourning and red paper for happy mourning.

Therefore, if you see red couplets posted at a banquet or a red list, don’t directly assume that it is a happy event, it may be a death in someone else’s family!

In addition to the above three differences between happy mourning and white mourning, uninformed people can often judge whether it is a happy mourning or a white mourning by the number of people carrying the coffin.

During the burial, the coffin is tied to two cedar tree poles as thick as a bowl and more than ten meters long. Counting from the old man himself, eight people are required to carry the coffin in each generation.

Therefore, as long as you see 32 people carrying it, it means that four generations of the elderly live under the same roof, and it is very likely that they are celebrating or mourning.

In the same way, if you see 8, 16, or 24 people carrying them, it must be a wasted funeral.

You can imagine for yourself what the scene would be like if 32 people were divided into two teams, one at the front and one at the front, crowded on a field bank less than 1 meter wide to carry a coffin (it will definitely look better than the picture below).

When I attended a funeral in the winter, there was no water in the fields, so many people carrying them walked in the fields. I was thinking, what if it is summer? How can there be so many people on the road? People, is it possible for everyone to go to the rice fields?

Fortunately, my hometown does not have this custom. Otherwise, I would have to travel almost half the town to hire dozens of people to carry the coffin. Joy and mourning are not found everywhere. It only exists in areas where traditional funeral customs are intact!

I have attended funerals in many places, but this was the only one where I witnessed the legendary and complete funeral.

1. Wearing linen and wearing filial piety

This may not seem unusual, but in this county in western Hunan, the filial piety is different for each generation, and the locals can tell it at a glance Which generation is it.

The filial piety cloth of the son generation should be made into a pointed hat, worn on the head, and then tied with a hemp rope; the other generations should put the filial piety cloth on the head and tie it completely with the hemp rope. They won't fall down. Xiaobu are very long and can exceed the heel of the feet.

2. Tie a straw rope around the waist

Sons should tie a straw rope around their waists and fasten a short stick around their waists to tighten the straw rope.

This means that when a parent passes away, a filial son does not want to eat or drink. In order to cheer up for the funeral, he tightens his stomach to eliminate hunger.

3. Hold the mourning stick in hand

The mourning stick is about 40 centimeters long, as thick as a thumb, and covered with white paper. Before burying the old man, the filial son must keep the stick in his hand.

This is because a filial son is one generation shorter when he meets someone he knows. He is too hungry and has no strength. When he kneels down, he needs a stick to hold on to prevent him from falling. When he gets up, he has to kneel down. He had to rely on the support of a stick to have the strength to stand up.

At the funeral banquet, a filial son would kneel under the table and kowtow with a mourning stick to thank the guests.

4. Read the memorial text

The night before the old man is buried, the master of ceremonies will compile the old man’s life story (mostly what hardships the old man has endured, what achievements he has made, etc. The filial son knelt in front of the mourning hall, and the guests sat and watched the ceremony. The whole process took about two or three hours.

Every time the master of ceremonies sings a short verse (a few sentences), the gunner lights a bunch of firecrackers (on average, one bunch every one or two minutes), the trumpeters play music, and the filial son kowtows.

Many places have retained the custom of reciting sacrificial inscriptions, but most of the etiquette is not comprehensive. In some places, filial sons only kneel down symbolically and sit most of the time. The kowtows and cannon firing are not so intensive. In those days, While we were still in the room, we were suffocated by the smoke from firecrackers.

5. Step back and watch, take three steps, kneel and kowtow

When the old man is buried, the descendants of the old man open the way in front, each holding a mourning stick in their hands. A helper from the village stood beside them, and the coffin walked last.

The descendants are staring at the coffin and walking backwards. Every three steps back, they have to kneel down and kowtow. They hold the mourning stick on the ground with their right hand. When the time comes, you can't pull it up with just one pull. You have to pull it three times before it gets up.

When the descendants are kneeling, the gunner will light a string of firecrackers. When walking backwards, the gunner will light a cannon (a single firecracker as thick as a finger, which makes a loud noise, and is a special firecracker for funerals).

I remember back then, it was only two or three hundred meters from my home to the river (where the coffin was shipped to the mountain for burial), and I had to walk back two hours to get there. My legs were shaking all the time.

6. Burning the well

Burning the well is to burn the old man’s grave with fire. The purpose is to burn the snakes, rats, ants, etc. in the soil of the grave to avoid disturbing them. deceased.

Customs vary from place to place, but generally there is this procedure. In some places, they use paper to burn, and in other places, they use firecrackers to explode. I saw someone throwing three picks into the tomb at a funeral. firecracker.

7. Dojo

Dojo is the local standard for lavish burials of the elderly, usually three or seven days. Nowadays, the trend of comparison is prevalent. As long as there is a home in the village that builds a dojo for the elderly, Other families will follow suit. As long as one family does it for seven days, other families will do the same.

I didn’t pay much attention to this ceremony back then. Anyway, it was just setting up the sacrifices upstairs, lighting the scented candles, and three or four people in professional attire beating things there.

In many places, traditional funeral customs are being drastically simplified. Maybe a few decades ago, they were the same as above, but now, they no longer wear hemp, tie them with straw ropes, and no longer hold the mourning stick. Retrograde is replaced by progress. There is no need to kneel and kowtow during funerals. The ashram is no longer used. The filial piety cloth is just a formality and can be taken off at any time. The filial son can still sit and listen to the memorial service.

Funeral customs can be simplified to such an extent that even if these places originally had the custom of "happy mourning", it has long been eliminated.

I believe that these traditional funeral customs have their basis and origin and can be preserved.

Although customs can only be customs and have no practical effect, the more complex the rituals, the clearer and more flavorful they can be remembered.

According to folk tradition, "happy mourning" must meet the following conditions:

1. The deceased is sixty years old or older and will be reincarnated for a period of sixty years;

2 , getting married and leaving heirs, in popular terms, means leaving offspring;

3. His parents, father-in-law, mother-in-law or parents-in-law have passed away before him, and they have all died three weeks ago and the third anniversary has passed. Commemorated;

4. A good death means dying without illness, haha, this is a condition that modern people find difficult to meet. Modern people, you can relax a little - if it meets the first three points, as long as you don't die in a car fire, it can be considered a good death!

During the Chinese New Year in recent years, everyone will encounter a new way to play, that is to collect the five blessings. What are the five blessings? To put it simply: longevity, good fortune, good health and tranquility, noble moral character, good beginning and good end. But some people say that the last one is the most difficult, the fifth blessing: a good death. The fruit ends well; the reason is cultivation and cultivation, and the cultivation of merit. In fact, this is just like a kind of funeral that we encounter among the people, called: happy mourning. The conditions for joy and mourning are vague and there are no specific regulations. It can be said that only after considering many aspects will it be recognized as joy or mourning.

It is naturally easy to understand joy and mourning. When a funeral is held lively, the atmosphere of grief is far less intense. Some people say that it is the same as holding a happy event. In the past, there was a saying that the elderly were older. , the funeral can be held as a happy funeral, but how old is the age? With the change of time, each stage is different. In the past, life span was relatively short. People were rare in ancient times when they were seventy years old. People were only sixty years old. Those over seventy years old were considered old. Nowadays, this is no longer the case. Likewise, human lifespan has generally been extended, so celebrating and mourning based on age is indeed too general.

In the author’s case, for celebrations and funerals, four conditions are generally met: 1. The elderly’s children are all alive, 2. Four generations must live under the same roof (or above), 3. The person must be over 90 years old, 4. The person must die without illness. Only those who meet these conditions are happy and mourning. Regardless of these conditions, they are generally difficult to achieve. The old Mrs. Li in our village is the oldest in the whole village. She has lived for 105 years, but her son was taken away by the old lady. So if you can do it at an old age, it depends on whether your children can survive that long. It’s hard to say, so the children must all be alive. This is the first key point. After you can achieve this, see if the following conditions are met.

Above 90, the difficulty has begun to increase. A 90-year-old person is considered a long-lived person. He has experienced ups and downs and has a long life. According to folk sayings, this is a blessed person. The third condition is that four generations live under one roof. The prerequisite is that there must be sons and grandsons, so that four generations can live under one roof. Four generations living under one roof are more common nowadays in rural areas, and are no longer particularly difficult. The fourth one is more difficult. It is the same as the fifth blessing among the five blessings, which is called: a good beginning and a good ending, a quiet and peaceful ending, and no need for others. Serving and caring for the children without causing any trouble, just as peacefully as falling asleep and never waking up again. Such conditions are actually very difficult to achieve. Therefore, the requirements for joy and mourning are quite high.

Nowadays, the requirements for funerals and funerals have also changed. Generally speaking, as long as the elderly are older and their children are all here, they will be treated as funerals. Mrs. Wang from the neighboring village was aged at the time of her death. Almost a hundred and eleven years old. My son is almost ninety. As a filial son, he should be at the front wailing and crying all the way. But this filial son is also nearly a hundred years old. He can't walk well and has no strength to go. He cried in the original way and was pulled in the front by someone using an electric tricycle. People in the village happily laughed at him as a filial son. In fact, this was also a real way of mourning.

Sickness, old age, and pain in a person's life are irreversible. I don’t know that expert said such a famous saying, growth is the beginning of death, and death is the end of growth. This sentence is consistent with dialectics. At present, with the development of China's medical and health care, the era of peace has replaced the era of war. In addition, the development of science and technology has strengthened the national strength to prevent natural disasters, and the living standards of the Chinese people have improved. The average life span of the Chinese people has increased. China’s aging population has led to a reduction in mortality rates. But the weather may change, and people may have misfortunes and blessings. Unavoidable traffic accidents, etc., the death of each family member is a separation of life and death. But when you reach a certain age, you get chronic diseases and incurable symptoms, which not only tortures you, but also tortures your family. The death of an old man suffering from such illness is regarded as joyful mourning. There is an unwritten shopping rule in rural areas, regarding weddings and weddings. There is a certain scientific reason why our ancestors called weddings and weddings happy events. The rural party members of the elderly who died of sudden illness said later that they died well and suffered less. This shouldn’t be praised!

The word "mourning" is generally associated with sadness. Why is there a saying of "happy mourning"? In fact, it is the family's praise of their deceased friend's perfect life.

It should meet two conditions, one is longevity. Human beings are destined to die, and the closer they are to the limit, the more natural and perfect they become. The second is to die without illness. There is a curse saying "You will not die well". The same way of life is the same as the way of death. An accident cannot be called a joy or death.

If there is no serious illness that seriously affects the quality of life, that is, if you die peacefully without suffering in your later years, this can be called a happy mourning.

It is not just the death of an old person that can be called "joyful mourning". The death of a person is mourning. There is no doubt about this. To be called happy, some conditions for joy must be met. Without certain conditions, it cannot be called happy or mourning. . In fact, when you lose a loved one, from the perspective of family ethics and people's mentality, there is sadness and no joy. However, people have Ah Q's spiritual victory method and will always comfort themselves or accept comfort from others, so there is " "Happiness and mourning."

Traditionally in our country, people who are less than sixty years old are not considered to have a long life. People who are over sixty years old are called a long life, which is the first life span. Eighty years old is considered the middle life span, and a hundred years old is called the upper life span. To be called "happy and mourning", the first condition is longevity, and the age requirement of early life and middle life is not generally qualified. It only counts if you live a long life, and generally speaking, you have to be after ninety years old. Generally speaking, if a person dies at a long life and has lived a long life, it is not called "happy" or "happy". It also depends on the person and his family and whether he has the conditions for "happy". For example, if an old person has accumulated virtues and done good deeds, has a good monument, is happy and has no disasters during his lifetime, has a full house of children and grandchildren, is harmonious and happy, has no regrets, no regrets, no cares, does not torture others, and lives a peaceful and healthy life without any illness, then this is considered a "happy mourning". Happiness and mourning are not what you say, but what others think when certain conditions are met.

People will be born, grow old, sick, and die. This is the law of nature and no one can escape it. Death is different, and death is given many different meanings. Sima Qian has long said that everyone is destined to die, some are heavier than Mount Tai, and some are lighter than a feather. After life, prepare for death. Everyone values ??life and death, but sometimes they don’t care so much. Everyone wants to die well, but things backfire and they don’t die well. People seek good things at first and end well, but how many people can really end up happy and sad?

In the past, there were strict standards for whether the death of a rural elderly person could be called a joy or mourning. Although age accounts for the largest proportion of this criterion, it is not the only one. There are other criteria included. For example, although my grandparents passed away after they were 100 years old, according to traditional requirements, they cannot actually be called happy or mourning.

So why can’t we celebrate the death of a centenarian after he passes away? What are the standards for happiness and mourning in traditional culture? Let me explain it to you below. 1. Age, one of the criteria for joy and mourning

Although people in the past often said that 70 years old is rare, a 70-year-old man cannot be called a joy or mourning person. Regarding the age of joy and mourning, Cao Cao once mentioned in a drinking song how old the death of an old man can be called a joyful mourning.

The octogenarian refers to the elderly over 80 years old. The general meaning of this sentence is that when the octogenarians (80 years old) reach the end of their lives (not because of illness, poverty, hunger, (external reasons such as cold and cold, but natural death). In this case, even those plants, trees, insects and fish will be favored by the old man and benefit. 2. Standards for joy and mourning No. 2: Four generations living together

The ancients said that there are three types of unfilial piety, the greatest of which is not having offspring. In rural areas in the past, everyone got married relatively early. If you were 80 years old, under normal circumstances, there should be five generations living under one roof, or at worst, four generations living under one roof. In the past, what old people liked to see most was to have children and grandchildren, and a large family, so that they would be happy.

But for an 80-year-old man, four generations have not yet lived under one roof.

Think about it, your grandfather is 80 years old, your parents are 60 years old, and you should be over 30 years old, but do people of this age have no children? That probably means that this descendant is still a bachelor. My grandson is over 30 years old and has not yet married or had children. Naturally, the old man cannot leave in peace. This cannot be called a happy funeral. 3. The third criterion for happiness and mourning is that the offspring are still alive

In the past, there was a saying in rural areas that there were three great sorrows in life. Among them was the loss of a child in old age, that is, a white-haired person would give a black-haired person a gift. For parents, the most unfortunate thing in life is probably to encounter this kind of thing. Parents do not mean that their children should be successful. As long as their children are healthy and safe, parents will be satisfied.

For a parent, whether he loses a child in middle age or old age, he must be miserable in his heart, and this sorrow will stay with him for the rest of his life. With such a sad mood, the old man must have left full of regrets. How can one be happy when one dies with regrets?

Summary: The standards for joy and mourning are basically to meet these three points, and there is another one mentioned in the first point, which is to die naturally without illness or disaster. In this way, there are four major standards. In the past, happiness and mourning were based on the above four criteria, but there were too few people who could meet these criteria at the same time. Therefore, some people will lower this standard. As long as two of them are met, the family of the elderly will treat the funeral as a happy event.

For example, after my grandma passed away at the age of 100, she did not meet the standards of joy and mourning. This was because of the third point. However, we still treated her as a joy and mourning for the following reasons:

< p> 1. My father has seven brothers and sisters. When his second uncle was in his 60s, he went to work in the fields a few days ago, but he suddenly passed away. My third uncle passed away due to illness when he was in his 40s.

2. Part of the reason why my grandma passed away was that she accidentally fell. She was afraid of falling as she got older, so from then on she couldn’t walk and stayed in bed. After half a year, she left.

During the time she was lying in bed, she repeatedly mentioned my two uncles who had passed away and that my grandma missed them.

3. Although my grandma passed away with regrets, after discussion with several of our cousins, we all agreed that my grandma was already a hundred years old. Moreover, my third uncle passed away more than 50 years ago, and my second uncle passed away without any illness or disaster.

My grandma’s funeral should still be handled as a celebration or a funeral. Other relatives in the family also asked us to handle it as a centenarian. Their argument is that there are not many centenarians anywhere, and this does not make sense as they are not treated as weddings or funerals. To sum up, when an elderly person in rural areas passes away, can it be treated as a happy or mourning event? In the past, it was necessary to meet the four major criteria before it could be called a happy or mourning event. However, in reality, some families will lower this standard. Usually for elderly people over 60 years old, as long as they are not sick and have no disaster, they will be treated as a funeral.