The four main points of effective communication skills are well known. Only by mastering efficient communication skills can we be comfortable in work or life and get twice the result with half the effort. Then let's take a look at the four points of effective communication skills!

Four essentials of effective communication skills 1 First, break the artificial barriers of communication.

(1) high above

When communicating with subordinates, the most common fault of being a boss is being above others. There is inequality in status and identity between superiors and subordinates, and some bosses have intentionally or unintentionally expanded the effect of this inequality, resulting in subordinates being passive and afraid to speak in front of superiors, which has affected the smooth communication between superiors and subordinates. There is a boss whose office is nearly 200 square meters. The boss's desk is the biggest and the boss's chair is the tallest. However, there is a small chair in front of his desk. Every time a subordinate comes to report his work or ask for instructions, he should sit there respectfully. This "interrogation" environment obviously affects the communication effect. Some bosses, in the process of communicating with subordinates, are absent-minded and put on airs, all of which are high above others.

(2) Self-righteousness

Having some ideas and opinions on a problem, it is easy to close your heart and refuse to accept other people's opinions. You know, right and wrong are relative. When we treat other people's suggestions with a broad mind and a modest attitude, there will be unexpected gains.

(3) preconceived ideas

Prejudice is caused by biased thinking mode. If one side of communication is biased against the other side, smooth communication cannot be achieved. For example, if you have doubts about your subordinates' abilities, you may not accept them even if they have very good ideas.

(4) Not good at listening

Listening is one of the most important links in communication, and good listening is the beginning of efficient communication. Listening requires not only sincere empathy, but also certain listening skills. Condescend to be a teacher; Self-righteous, pushing yourself and others; Scratching your ears is impatient; Look around and empty the story; Environmental interference, no intention to listen; Interrupt each other and change listening to speaking; Get to the bottom of it and inquire about privacy; False feelings, gifts, etc. They are all bad habits that affect listening and should be avoided.

(5) Lack of feedback

Feedback is the key link in the process of communication or at the end of communication. Many people don't pay attention to, neglect or ignore feedback in the communication process, and the communication effect is greatly reduced. Many people think that the other party understands their own meaning in communication, but in the actual operation process, it is quite different from their original meaning. In fact, when communicating with each other, ask one more question, "You just said that …" and "Would you please say that again?" The problem will be solved naturally

(6) the potential loss effect of communication

The study of California State University found that only 20%-30% of the information from the leadership was known and correctly understood by subordinates; The information fed back from bottom to top is not more than10%; The efficiency of parallel communication can reach more than 90%.

Second, convey information clearly and concisely.

In the process of information transmission, information includes three aspects: information, thought and emotion. In communication, not only information is transmitted, but also thoughts and emotions. Therefore, when sending information, we should pay attention to the following questions:

(1) Select an effective information sending method (HOW).

Effective information sending methods are very important in communication, which requires us to choose different sending methods according to different communication objects and purposes. There are many ways to send information, such as meetings, telephone calls, personal letters, messages, emails, interviews, etc. If it is general information communication to explain the situation, it can be solved by letter, telephone, email, etc. If it is to exchange feelings and increase trust, it is necessary to choose a suitable time and place for an interview.

(2) WHEN to send information (when)

For example, when to send work contact sheets and thank-you letters, when to report to superiors, and when to talk with subordinates, it is very important to pay attention to "the right time, the right place and the right people".

(3) Determine the information content (what)

The content of information is the essence of communication. Without any content, there is no communication. Therefore, before the communication begins, we should make some appropriate preparations for the content of the information, which should be said, to what extent, and which should not be said. The information content should be clear and concise, and the words should be accurate, so as to avoid vague or misleading expressions. Technical terms can only be used if the other party can understand them. At the same time, we should also pay attention to the different use of information carriers, such as pronunciation, intonation and body language, which will give the other party different feelings and thus affect the quality of communication.

(4) WHO is receiving information (WHO)

Know who your information recipient is and let the other party pay attention to your acceptance; Understand the concept of receiver; Understand the needs of the recipients; Understand the emotions of the recipient. ...

(5) WHERE to send information (where)

In formal or informal occasions, if the production manager asks the finance department to improve the service process and service attitude, it is not appropriate to put forward the suggestion at the meeting, but to communicate with the finance department manager privately in peacetime, otherwise it will be misunderstood as "attack" or "complaint". The pre-negotiation stage before business is not necessarily in a formal occasion like an office, but in a casual teahouse, coffee shop and other places.

Third, actively listen.

Before trying to make people listen and understand, communication experts will take listening and understanding others as their primary goal. If you can listen carefully, you will come into contact with convenience. The first step to master the inner world of others is to listen carefully. It is a shortcut to solve the problem to let the other person speak freely and listen carefully before stating his own ideas to convince him.

(1) The role of listening in communication

World sales champion Joe. Gillard sold a car to a customer many years ago, and the transaction went smoothly. When the customer was ready to pay, another salesperson talked with Gillard about yesterday's basketball game, Joe. Gillard talked and laughed with her companions with relish, while reaching for the car, but the customer suddenly turned away and didn't even buy the car. Joe. Gillard has been thinking hard all day, wondering why the customer suddenly gave up the car he had chosen. At 1 1 in the evening, he finally couldn't help calling the customer to ask why he suddenly changed his mind. The customer told him unhappily on the phone: "I told you about my little son when I paid the bill this afternoon. He has just been admitted to the University of Michigan, which is the pride of our family, but you didn't hear it at all, just talking to your partner about the basketball game." Gillard understands that the root cause of business failure is that she didn't listen carefully to customers talking about what she likes.

People who know how to listen are most likely to do the right thing, please the boss, win friendship and seize opportunities missed by others. Listening carefully and responding to what the other party is interested in is the greatest respect for the other party and the core point of communication. John the Iron King. Rockefeller said: "Our policy has always been to listen patiently and discuss openly until the last piece of evidence is on the table, and then try to draw a conclusion." Rockefeller is famous for his prudence. He often seems to make decisions slowly. He refused to make a hasty decision. His motto is: "Let others speak." .

Listening is not only the process of hearing corresponding sounds, but also an emotional activity. It needs to send a message to each other through facial expressions, body language and words. I really want to listen to you. I respect and care about you.

(2) 12 efficient listening skills help you achieve efficient communication:

1. Listening is a positive process.

Keep a high degree of mental vigilance when listening, and always pay attention to the key points of the other party. Everyone has his own position and values. You must stand in the other person's position and listen carefully to everything he says. Don't use your own values to criticize or judge each other's ideas, and keep a common understanding attitude with each other.

2. Encourage the other person to speak first

First of all, it is polite to listen to others. Being willing to listen shows that we are willing to consider other people's opinions objectively, which will make the speaker feel that we respect his opinions and help us to establish a harmonious relationship and accept each other. Secondly, encouraging the other person to speak first can reduce the intensity and competition in the conversation, and listening can cultivate an open atmosphere and help to exchange views with each other. Because there is no pressure, the speaker can concentrate on the key points instead of making excuses for his own contradictions. Third, the other party puts forward their own opinions first, and you will have the opportunity to grasp the agreement of both parties before expressing your opinions, so that the other party will be more willing to accept your opinions and convince the other party more easily.

3. Don't talk too much

It is not easy to talk and listen at the same time. Billionaire Fuka is famous for talking less and listening more. At important business meetings, he often keeps silent from beginning to end. Once, he told people around him: "God gave us two ears, but only one mouth, for a reason. We should listen more and talk less. " In order to avoid losing the opportunity of new ideas, new ideas and business development because of talking too much, you can use the "match burning method": imagine that you have a burning match in your hand, stop talking when you think the flame is about to burn your fingers, and let others react.

4. Don't show off, and don't chew on words.

If you are an expert on a topic, sometimes you should learn to keep silent and don't chew over words, because it is possible that the person you are listening to may be timid or shy because of your attitude, become fluent and become self-protective.

5. Show interest and keep eye contact.

When listening, be sure to look each other in the eye. People judge whether you are listening and absorbing what you say according to whether you look at each other. Nothing is more gratifying than sincere interest in people.

6. concentrate, concentrate, and agree.

Say goodbye to absent-minded behavior and performance, and practice how to eliminate distractions to cultivate the ability of concentration. Nodding or smiling can show that you agree with what is said and that you agree with the speaker's point of view. People need to feel that you are listening. Throw away distractions (such as pencils and key chains). ) The kind of things you can doodle or play with will free you from distractions. People always interpret scribbling, fiddling with paper, looking around or looking at watches as being absent-minded, which should attract our attention.

7. Let people finish, don't be arbitrary.

Listen to what others say. You should make sure that you know the complete point of view of others before you react. Just because others stop doesn't mean they have finished what they want to say. It shows that you value the content of communication. People always understand interrupting others as respecting their own ideas, but it is actually disrespectful to each other.

Although it is impolite to interrupt others, it is an exception if it is a "ping-pong effect". The so-called "ping-pong effect" means that the listener should ask many pertinent questions or express some opinions and feelings in time in response to the other party's statement. Another point is that when you miss something or don't understand it, you should ask questions quickly when the other person's words come to an end temporarily.

8. Encourage others to talk more.

Give sincere praise to the speaker's incisive views, meaningful statements or valuable information. For example: "This story is great!" Or "That's a good idea!" Your opinion is very insightful, and so on. So, if someone does something you appreciate, please wait for the opportunity to reward him. Just a good response can stimulate many useful and meaningful dialogues.

9. Let others know that you are listening.

Occasionally say "yes", "I understand" or "is that right?" Tell the speaker that you are listening and that you are interested.

10, use and observe body language, and pay attention to nonverbal cues.

What the other party says may actually contradict the nonverbal expression, so learn to explain this situation. When we talk to people, even before we speak, our inner feelings have been clearly expressed through body language. If the listener is closed or indifferent, the speaker will naturally pay special attention to his every move, and even more reluctant to open his heart.

On the other hand. If the obedient person is open-minded and interested, it shows that he is willing to accept each other and wants to know each other's thoughts, and the speaker will be encouraged. These body languages include: smile naturally, don't cross your arms, don't put your hands on your face, lean forward slightly, keep looking at each other's eyes and nod your head. Pay attention to the implication. Pay attention to what you haven't said, information or ideas you haven't discussed, and answer incomplete questions.

1 1. Accept and respond.

Be able to confirm whether what you understand is what the other person said: you must repeat what the other person said emphatically to ensure that what you understand is consistent with the other person, such as "Did you mean what you just said?" And "I don't know if I heard it wrong, but you mean …".

12, secretly review, sort out the key points, and put forward your own conclusions.

When we talk to people, we usually have a few seconds to review what they say and sort out the key points. Be sure to delete unimportant details, focus on the key points that the other party wants to say and the main ideas of the other party, keep these key points and ideas in mind, and give clear feedback to the other party when appropriate.

Fourth, positive feedback.

A complete and effective communication, only "expression" and "listening" are not enough, but also feedback, that is, the receiver of the information responds to the other party in time during or after receiving the information, so as to clarify possible misunderstandings and distortions in the process of "expression" and "listening".

(1) feedback category

Positive feedback: refers to praising the other person for doing good things and hoping that good behavior will appear again.

Constructive feedback: it is very important to give him suggestions for improvement, not criticism, where the other party has not done enough.

(2) How to give feedback

1, feedback should stand on the other side's position, angle and demand, and give feedback on the aspects that the other side needs most.

For example, in the half-year performance appraisal, subordinates are eager to know the boss's evaluation of their work and ability, and expect the boss to point out the direction of their next efforts. If the manager, as the boss, does not give feedback after the performance appraisal, or understates it, it will dampen the enthusiasm of subordinates.

2. The feedback should be specific and clear.

Wrong feedback-"Xiao Li, your work is really important!" This expression is very empty, and Xiao Li doesn't know why his work is important, so he can't really leave a deep impression on the other party.

Correct feedback-"company official documents and official correspondence are the performance of a company's quality, representing a company's level, spirit and culture. Xiao Li, your work is very important. " This feedback to subordinates is not empty and dry preaching, but can get twice the result with half the effort.

3. Feedback should be constructive.

It is easy for superiors to jump to conclusions about the opinions or ideas of subordinates. For example, some people often say, "Your idea doesn't work at all!" In a critical or contemptuous tone. "Young man, you are still too young!" Wait, let subordinates be bored, and as a result, the enthusiasm of subordinates to communicate actively is dampened. If we change our attitude and give feedback to our subordinates in a constructive and encouraging tone, the effect will be different. For example, "Xiao Wang, your opinion is very good. Although some ideas can't be realized at present, you are very thoughtful and concerned about the development of our department's business. You should say such suggestions more in the future! " .

4, right things, not people

Positive feedback is practical, and it is forbidden to involve others' face and personal dignity. Never say insulting words, such as "You are a pig brain, have never eaten pork, and have never seen a pig walk?" Such words can only deepen the hostility and confrontation between the two sides and have a counterproductive effect on the initial desire for communication.

(3) How to receive feedback, when receiving feedback, you should do the following:

1. Listen patiently and don't interrupt.

When receiving feedback, we must be modest and listen to others' feedback with a sincere attitude. Whether these opinions are correct or not in your opinion, you should temporarily accept them in a friendly way when the other party gives feedback, and don't interrupt others' feedback or refuse to accept them. For example: "Stop it, I get it!" , or impatient expression, posture, etc. If you rudely interrupt others' feedback to you, it actually means that communication is interrupted and communication fails, and you can't learn more or even more important information from the other party.

Step 2 avoid self-defense

Self-defense is everyone's instinctive reaction. When the other person gives you feedback, if you just choose to accept it from your own standpoint, once you hear something unfavorable, bad or don't want to hear it, you will blush and argue, and the smart person will stop giving feedback immediately.

Step 3 show your attitude

After others give you feedback, you should have a clear attitude, such as understanding, agreeing, agreeing, supporting, disagreeing, reserving opinions and how to act. If you don't express your attitude and opinions about feedback clearly, the other party will misunderstand you or have inner confrontation, which will increase the communication cost and affect the communication quality.

Interpersonal communication, enterprise execution, teamwork spirit, enterprise's handling of relations with government, public, media and other aspects, integration of resources, negotiation and cooperation, etc. Good communication quality is required. To improve the quality of communication, we should start from the other side's point of view, find out what the listener wants to hear through recognition, praise and demand, and express it in a way that the other side is interested in, saying that the other side wants to hear and can understand what you say, such as humor, enthusiasm, affinity and friendliness, so as to ensure the accuracy of the other side's actions. At the same time, in the appropriate opportunities and places, according to demand, change places. When listening, listen in the way the other person likes, actively explore what the speaker wants to say, put yourself in the other person's shoes, don't interrupt, respond positively and encourage expression; Control your emotions, respond and feedback in time, finally confirm your understanding, and clarify your objections after listening.

Four Essentials of Effective Communication Skills 2 (1) The Role of Listening in Communication

1, global sales champion joe girard.

Many years ago, I promoted a product car to a customer, and the transaction was very satisfactory. When the customer was ready to pay, another salesperson told Gillard about the basketball match yesterday, Joe. Gillard reached out to pick up the car while joking with her partner. Unexpectedly, the customer suddenly turned around and left without buying a car. Joe. Gillard racked her brains all day, wondering why customers suddenly gave up the car they had chosen.

At 1 1 in the evening, he finally couldn't help calling the customer and wanted to know why the customer suddenly changed his mind. The customer said to him unhappily on the phone, "I told you about my son when I paid this morning. He just got into the University of Michigan, which is the pride of our family, but you didn't hear it at all, just wanted to talk to your partner about the basketball league." Gillard understands that the root cause of business failure is that he doesn't listen attentively to customers to discuss his favorite things.

People who know how to listen are most likely to do the right thing, please the leaders, gain friendship and seize the missed opportunities of others. Listening attentively and answering things that the other party is very interested in is to pay more attention to the other party and is the core content of communication.

2, the steel king Robert

Andrew Carnegie said: "Our current policy has always been: listen patiently and discuss frankly, and try to achieve results until the last direct evidence is on the table." Andrew carnegie is famous for his prudence, and he often seems to delay making a decision. He refused to make a hasty decision. His motto is: "Let others speak." .

Listening is not only the whole process of hearing relative noise in the ear, but also an emotional activity. It needs to send a message to the other party according to facial emotions, body language and sentence answers-I really want to listen to you, I value you and pay attention to you.

(2) Assist you to complete effective communication.

1, listening is a positive whole process.

When listening, you should be alert to the aspect ratio of your psychological state and pay attention to the key points of the other party anytime and anywhere. Everyone has his own views and values. You must stand on the other side and listen carefully to everything he often says. You can't use your own values to reprimand or judge each other's ideas, but you should maintain a mutual understanding with each other.

2. Encourage the other person to speak first.

First of all, it is polite to listen to others. Wanting to listen shows that we want to consider other people's opinions objectively, which will make the speaker feel that we attach great importance to his suggestions and help us create a harmonious relationship and accept each other.

Secondly, encouraging the other party to speak first can reduce the toughness and market competition in the conversation, and listening can shape the atmosphere of opening to the outside world, which is conducive to exchanging views with each other. Because there is no pressure, the speaker can concentrate on the key points without being busy making excuses for his differences.

Third, the other party clearly puts forward his own views first, and you will also have the opportunity to grasp the consistency of the other party's suggestions before expressing your own suggestions, so that the other party will be more willing to accept your suggestions and convince the other party more easily.

3. Don't talk too much

Besides, speaking and listening are not easy. Billionaire Fuka is famous for talking less and listening more. He often attends key business process meetings without saying a word. Once he told people around him, "There is a reason why the creator gave us two ears but only one mouth. We should listen more and talk less. "

In order to prevent the lack of new ideas and opportunities to develop and design business processes, we can use the "matchstick ignition method": imagine that you have a lighted matchstick in your hand. If you think the flame will burn your fingers, stop talking and let others answer.

4. Don't be cocky or speak like a book.

If you are an authoritative expert on a topic, sometimes you still have to learn to play dumb, and you don't have to speak words, because it is possible that the person you listen to may be timid or shy because of your mentality, and become more and more inarticulate, tactless and self-aware.