Introduction: Your wife is the person in this world who will accompany you to the end, and is also your most unique support. From black hair to gray hair, if there was no unforgettable love, there would be no "infatuation" like today's passionate love. Decades of daily necessities are enough to make the face grow old. Only love is eternal.

01

Family relationships abroad are like uncooked rice in a pot, with distinct grains and clear boundaries.

In foreign countries, couples are considered family members in the traditional sense, and everyone else is considered an outsider. Even siblings who share the same affection for each other will not interfere with their household affairs.

Everyone has a strong sense of boundaries, does not interfere with each other, and respects each other. The family life is comfortable and unrestrained.

On the other hand, Chinese-style family relationships are like a pot of porridge. You cling to me, I cling to you, they are so intertwined that no one can separate them.

A Chinese-style marriage involves ten people sleeping on the same bed, starting from the husband’s parents, down to the husband’s brothers and sisters, and extending to the mother’s parents. One person can only accommodate two people. Eight people were squeezed into the space. Everyone was so close to each other that it was difficult to think of any problems.

No wonder they say: "Marrying a man is equivalent to marrying his entire family."

As the saying goes, people talk a lot, but it is nothing but a trivial matter. After mass communication, , it has inevitably changed. Family scandals should not be publicized. If the story of your young couple reaches other people's ears and is mentioned again, it will inevitably hurt others.

Furthermore, it is difficult for an upright official to cut off household chores. They keep cutting and sorting things out, and they are still messy. If something happens, the couple should sit down and talk about it, and big things will be reduced to trivial matters. After all, it is an internal conflict within the marriage. If other people get involved, the final result will only make the matter worse.

In a marriage, unless there is domestic violence or cheating, do not seek help unless it is absolutely necessary. This will only make your partner unable to step down and make you feel resentful, and it will also affect the relationship between the husband and wife.

No matter when, please be consistent with the outside world, and then sort out the internal affairs, please also remember that if you want to deal with the huge contradiction, if he takes one step towards you, you will take two steps towards him. step.

02

Home is not a place for reason, but a place for love. If everything is about right and wrong, and who wins and who loses, then the meaning of marriage will be lost.

However, in real life, there are always some people who like to call their parents or relatives to judge when they encounter conflicts. There are also always some relatives who have no sense of boundaries and like to interfere in other people’s housework. , resulting in the originally good days being turned into a mess all day long.

My best friend’s marriage is a good example.

My best friend Xuanxuan and her husband were high school classmates, and they worked in the same unit when they came out. After going back and forth, they developed a love, and later they got married naturally.

The couple originally lived a good life. Both of them worked in stable and leisurely public institutions. Although they were not rich, they could still live a comfortable and nourishing life.

After Xuanxuan got married to her husband, she lived with her parents-in-law. Her husband could be considered a family man and would not cheat or commit domestic violence. However, he had such a fatal weakness: once the two had a conflict, When there was a quarrel or cold war, Xuanxuan's husband would tell his in-laws what happened in detail and let them comment.

Xuanxuan really felt that she had no right to privacy at all. It was normal for husband and wife to quarrel. Originally, she could only be coaxed, but outsiders had to be involved.

Besides, no matter how fair a judge is, he will have selfish motives when it comes to his own child's case, let alone a mother-in-law who loves her son as much as her life, she will definitely favor her son.

Every time Xuanxuan had a minor conflict with her husband, even if it was her husband's fault, her mother-in-law would just turn a blind eye and say that Xuanxuan was too narrow-minded and did not understand others.

Two times, Xuanxuan was made sad and aggrieved every time, and she didn’t even have a step. As time passed, Xuanxuan no longer wanted to communicate with her husband about her thoughts and opinions. She could only keep them silently in her heart, and the gap between husband and wife became deeper and deeper.

Not only that, Xuanxuan’s husband’s relatives also have no sense of boundaries.

03

Some time ago, Xuanxuan and her husband discussed buying a mobility scooter.

In the past few years after their marriage, both of them have been careful about their budgets and spent every money wisely. They have been working for several years and have a little savings. She wanted to say that with this mobility scooter, it would be more convenient to commute to and from get off work without being exposed to wind and rain, and it would also be more convenient to go on outings on weekends. Her husband also agreed with her suggestion.

But at this moment, Xuanxuan’s uncle came to borrow money. It was said that he had taken a fancy to a store in a good location. He didn’t want to miss this good opportunity, but the funds on hand were a little tight. I hope Xuanxuan’s husband You can borrow tens of thousands and pay it back after a while.

Xuanxuan’s husband is an honest man. He looked embarrassed after hearing this, and truthfully told his uncle that he might not have any extra money to lend him and wanted to buy a mobility scooter, so he asked for his forgiveness.

The brotherhood between Xuanxuan's father-in-law, and then talking about interesting things about Xuanxuan's husband when he was a child.

After going around in a big circle, he continued to say that he didn’t want to miss this good store, and promised again and again that he would just wait for a while and return it as scheduled soon.

At this time, Xuanxuan's parents-in-law were also advising Xuanxuan's husband to slow down and buy a car, as the opportunity would be rare.

In the end, Xuanxuan’s husband couldn’t stand his uncle’s insistence, so he lent it to him.

After Xuanxuan learned about this incident, she was so angry that she couldn't speak. She didn't say a word at home for several days. His uncle's family had already bought a car, lived in a spacious building, and had good food and clothing.

For so many years, he has made some money in business, but he has never asked about the lives of Xuanxuan's parents-in-law and husband. When they meet during festivals and ancestor worship, he always belittles them intentionally or unintentionally. Lift yourself up.

But once my funds are tight and the investment money is not enough, I will come back to recognize my relatives. The Xuanxuan family squeezed out these tens of thousands of yuan through their teeth. I originally thought that I would not have to suffer the wind and rain. I tried, but it still came to nothing.

To be honest, as a bystander, I really feel sorry for Xuanxuan. It is a virtue for people to value affection and justice, but people always pay attention to courtesy, even if they are relatives.

Word of wisdom: If you want a harmonious relationship between a husband and wife, you must be a little disowned.

04

In terms of dealing with people after marriage, it was my cousin-in-law who had the opposite effect on Xuanxuan’s husband.

My cousin and my cousin-in-law have been married for twenty years, and the days are getting sweeter and sweeter with each passing day. There is no sign of the seven-year itch or aesthetic fatigue. Over the years of marriage, my cousin has rarely been angry with her husband's family, because her cousin-in-law is measured and sensible, and he protects her most of the time.

My cousin and my cousin-in-law suffered a lot before they got married. My cousin-in-law’s native family was not well off. When they started a family, they had to rely on themselves and live in poverty. But even so, the cousin followed her cousin-in-law without regret.

Fortunately, my cousin-in-law has seen all this, and feels sorry for her cousin who has suffered along with him. He has always loved and cared for her over the years, and his cousin is also nourished by love and cannot notice it at all. Traces of time.

The two people worked hard in Shenzhen for twenty years, and finally got their own house in Shenzhen.

When my cousin's husband was transferring the ownership of the house, his family members intentionally or unintentionally instigated him to just write his name. He was the main force in the house, so there was no need to write his cousin's name.

But the cousin's husband did not hesitate at all and wrote his cousin's name on the real estate certificate, because he knew that if you love a woman, you must give her the greatest sense of security, and you must prove it with actions.

In every aspect of life, parents and relatives never disturb the normal life of the couple.

Once, my cousin-in-law’s sister and her whole family were coming to Shenzhen to visit and wanted to stay at my cousin-in-law’s house.

My cousin agrees. It’s okay to stay for two days just for fun. But my cousin-in-law couldn't help but think that not long ago, my sister took the whole family to Chaoshan and stayed at my cousin's house for three or four days.

As a result, my cousin-in-law not only had to get up early every day to make breakfast for everyone, but when she came home from get off work in the evening, the house was in a mess. If she was a little neglectful, the whole family would look unhappy and get angry. Cried my cousin.

Cousin-in-law considers that my cousin is very tired from work. If he lives at home, he must serve this big family. He will be so busy just eating three meals a day, let alone cleaning up. It's definitely a tiring job at home or something.

My cousin’s husband refused. He didn’t want his cousin to be too tired, but he helped his sister and her family book a nearby and comfortable hotel. They could come over at any time to drink tea, play cards, and eat outside. After eating, it saves trouble and worry.

My cousin-in-law is a person with a sense of boundaries and a smart person who understands life. He will never let anyone or anything affect the couple's private life or even hinder his original family. The same is true for development plans, even for siblings.

Because he deeply understands that your wife is the person in this world who will accompany you to the end, and is also your most unique support.

05

Your parents will only accompany you for one journey at most, and then they will leave you first. Your brothers and sisters will also have their own families to take care of, and they cannot focus on you. Your wife is the most irreplaceable person in your life.

Chinese parents and relatives generally lack a sense of boundaries. What they least understand is how to respect the lives of their adult children.

A good relationship between husband and wife should be somewhat "disowning all relatives". This is not heartless, nor is it ungrateful, but it is about being clear about the boundaries between oneself and the family of origin, and decisively rejecting anything that exceeds boundaries and principles.

Only in this way can you ensure that your family is happy and happy. Reciprocity should be done according to the rules, so that a balanced state can be achieved, and finally a win-win situation can be achieved.

At that time, in addition to love, the relationship between husband and wife also includes a sincere loyalty, a tacit understanding of never leaving, and unforgettable kindness.

This is the best state of marriage.