When do women really start to age?

It’s not about aging, the deepening of nasolabial folds, the fat around the waist, or even hormonal imbalance, but when a woman determines that she is a “victim”, no matter what stage she is in, in an instant, She became a real old woman.

Because I have done emotional programs for many years, I often have to listen to different people express their emotional confusion. Gradually, I discovered that the emotional world also has its own laws. The most striking thing is that most women who feel confused or distressed think of themselves as "victims."

Although everyone pays special attention to their own pain, in fact, most of the "victims" have only a few worries that come and go, nothing more than: why doesn't he love me, why does he change his heart, and why does he change his mind? Why are you disobedient

The above contents are respectively aimed at "the opposite sex who has not obtained it", "the husband who has obtained it" and "the child born by oneself".

It really echoes the old saying "There is nothing new in the world" - said in the Bible.

To be honest, after hearing too much, I couldn’t help but feel impatient. How many times did I want to get up and confront the woman opposite me who was frowning, her mouth was swollen, her eyes were cloudy, and everything was drooping. Roaring out a true statement: "You allow yourself to live life with this face, why do you ask others to love you! You have to be loyal!! And you have to be obedient!!!"

The great writer Lev Tolstoy said, "Happy families are all roughly the same, and unhappy families are each unhappy in their own way."

I think the other way around is more accurate, that is, "Happy families are all unhappy in their own way." Happy and unhappy families are basically the same.”

For example, the “standard” feature of an unhappy family is that there must be a heroine or supporting actress who considers herself a “victim.”

"Victims" have several characteristics:

The most obvious one is that "the responsibility is everyone else's."

Usually, the victim likes the most The typical line used is "Oh, I'm just too stupid."

A woman who particularly likes to say that she is "silly" is actually expressing two things. One is to declare that she is "harmless" , the second is to declare one's "innocence". Whether in the workplace or in love, the characteristic of most people is that they tend to sympathize with the weak, and calling yourself stupid is an important shortcut to the weak.

While completely passing the responsibility to others, he also created an "innocent" face for himself. In order to accept the uninformed sympathy from strangers, he first laid out a seemingly silly fertile ground. .

However, if you think about it with your knees, you can tell that the real "stupidity" of women is not caring about the results, rather than using the name of stupidity to form a clique. A truly stupid woman is too stupid to call herself stupid.

In addition to creating a "silly" appearance for themselves, another firm understanding of the victims is that "what they have must be eternal."

Just like stocks must continue to be in a bull market, A husband must always be dedicated.

However, if a woman regards speculation or gambling as an important means of profit, she must be prepared to go as she comes. If she cannot afford to lose, she is narrow-minded, and she deserves the pain.

And if a woman regards catching rape as her lifelong "career", she will be "unemployed" sooner or later.

There is no mechanism to guarantee that a person will only win but not lose in the game, just like there is no trick that can help a woman who treats her husband as a thief and herself as a detective to retain love.

The truth of "acquisition" is to constantly create rather than constantly control. Women who think they have been victimized like to question the most: "He said he would love me forever. But he changed as soon as he said it. I don't believe in love anymore."

Every time at this moment, I can't wait to face that victimized face. Pour a bowl of cold water and say: "The person who promised you back then is not facing the bitter face he has now! Wake up, why do you allow yourself to become ugly and don't allow the other person to change his heart?"

People who are never grateful for what they have are especially prone to hysteria when they lose.

When a person deeply feels that the whole world owes her, what she owes the world is a great "understanding" - the only constant is change, and the only way to obtain is to give.

The real eternity cannot tolerate any "victim" who only takes but does not pay.

Every woman who actively accepts changes and gives calmly has a beautiful face and a heart that is always girlish.

Regarding love, Faye Wong believes it anyway, Swifty believes it, and so do the men they have dated.

You who are obsessed with being harmed, believe it or not.

In addition to being upset about yourself and your family, let’s divide it in terms of negative impacts. Victims can be further subdivided into "ordinary victims" and "victim bitches". The difference is that "ordinary victims" only produce and sell their own products, have toxins and no ambition, while "victim bitches" have additional features on top of traditional victimization. The important function of "telling tales" serves as an upgraded version of negative energy.

Women who are usually unskilled, lonely and have a high self-esteem especially need to gossip. The most common expression in my heart is eye roll, the most frequent emotion is jealousy, and my favorite question is "Why should she?!"

Yes, the clumsiness of human nature lies in "only watching thieves eat meat, I don’t see thieves being beaten.”

As a social animal, “skills” can help a woman relieve her loneliness, and then gain respect and be generally needed or welcomed. "Skills" for women come in many forms, from being good at cooking and selling cute food to having a decent major or becoming a manager who creates income for oneself and benefits others.

The important characteristics of the "victim bitch" are that they have "zero skills" and "a heart as high as the sky" at the same time, as well as jealousy that often spews out due to poor management.

Sooner or later, time will teach all kind-hearted people to finally see the truth: everyone who owns or obtains has to pay accordingly. Everything has cause and effect, but some causes and effects are easy to see, and some causes and effects are not so easy to see. Easy to see.

However, time can only teach people with conscience, but it cannot teach a victimized bitch who is born with a lack of conscience and is often jealous.

Therefore, the victim bitch who is not worthy of her moral integrity likes to work hard on personnel struggles. She is good at "opening up her heart" easily, and her secret trick is to show off her "rich connections" everywhere.

However, "connections" without "skills" support cannot withstand the baptism of "this is all a routine". In this way, the "victim bitch" can easily stand out from the crowd because of her distinct characteristics: she does not have a professional that can be explained in three sentences; she has no friends that have lasted for more than five years; some have unknown connections, unknown assets and unknown origins. Unexplained resentment.

They may occasionally occupy an invincible position, but their defeat and invincibility are full of murderous unhappiness.

Resentment and joy always wax and wane. This is an eternal truth, but the victim doesn’t understand it and the victim bitch doesn’t want it.

If the first two forms of victimization can be summarized as "greed" and "anger" using professional Buddhist vocabulary, then the most pitiful victim in the female world is "greed, anger, and ignorance" among the three poisons (greed, anger, and ignorance). Crazy".

Since when did a woman become anonymous in her own world? She is no longer herself, just someone’s wife or someone’s mother.

Using family as an article to show happiness is definitely a human behavior that should be blessed. However, we should be wary of treating laziness as a personality that will never change or is too lazy to change.

Romain Rolland has a cautionary saying: Most people die in their twenties and thirties, and their subsequent lives are just their own shadows, repeated over and over again.

When a person loses interest in the outside world and himself, "victimization" is bound to happen sooner or later.

Recently, a popular picture featuring Ge You as the protagonist was named "Chinese Paralysis".

While laughing, I was struck by the feeling that those women’s indulgent attitude looked like victims who couldn’t figure out why their “husbands changed their minds” or their “sons were unfilial” – in their entire description of their lives. , the only thing that can be seen is a pitiful and numb "Chinese paralysis".

Okay, let’s change the style of painting before ending, and use the refreshing joy of inspirational stories to contrast the chaos and turbidity of the victims.

Dong Zhujun, a well-known female entrepreneur in modern history, was born in a brothel when she was young. She was redeemed by the warlord Xia Zhishi who admired her, and the two got married. Married life can definitely be considered happy by common standards. However, Dong Zhujun was not satisfied with the status quo and kept studying and starting a business.

Xia Zhishi had a famous saying to her: "If you can feed yourself, I will fry fish for you in the palm of my hand."

Decades later, Dong Zhujun not only "supported himself", but also founded the well-known "Jinjiang Hotel" and donated it to the Communist Party for free after liberation.

As a pioneer of successful women, Dong Zhujun was admired by others when she was young. She continued to strive for self-improvement as an adult and was still loved by others in her old age. In line with my argument in "The Theory of Relativity of Men": "The best blessing that time can bestow on a woman is to look good. She must look good, and she must look good when she does things. She must look good at the beginning, and even better at the end."

There are many ways to "look good", but "not looking good" is relatively simple. The most convenient way is to become a "victim".

In fact, there are no real victims in the world, there are only people who are not responsible enough for themselves.

Thank you when you have it, reflect on it when you lose it. At the same time, no matter what you have or who you lose, never give up on your own requirements. This is the best thing a woman can do for herself.

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