Things have changed, and everyone has things they don't want to say and share.

I long for a space where I can release my inner anxiety and pretend to be strong.

I hope people around me don't ask about their pain, don't evaluate their difficulties and don't expose their embarrassment.

The "New Book" said: "Those who love to return love to go, and those who are blessed will be blessed."

A really smart person can care about each other, know how to control his mouth, speak with weight, and do things in a measured way.

At midnight 1 1, my best friend Sister Lu made a circle of friends.

"Even with more reluctance, I finally chose to leave."

The picture is a lonely figure under the brightly lit street view, and you can feel the feeling of injustice and hysteria through the screen.

I sent her a message on WeChat: Let's go to the seaside tomorrow, Anaya you've always wanted to go to.

Her answer is only one word: good.

On the high-speed train, she didn't say much. She tilted her head on my shoulder and looked out of the window.

I didn't ask her anything until her tears rolled down my shoulder.

In the quiet carriage, Sister Lu tried to control her sobs and said in my ear:

"Thank you, dearest, for not asking me why I chose to end this 10 year marriage. How can I bear to let go of my children? Why don't I consider my parents' worries? This kind of understanding is really precious. "

Sometimes, simple companionship is worth a thousand words, giving each other time to release their emotions, no longer lifting the scars that poke their hearts, and slowly digesting.

"Xunzi is not twelve sons" has a saying: "Say it and you will know; You will know when you are silent. "

When it's time to speak properly, when it's time to be silent, it's also a kind of gentleness to know not to ask.

In reality, we often can't help our curiosity and ask things that others don't want to talk about.

I hope I can find the answer in the process of getting to the bottom of it, but in fact, I have given the result by answering irrelevant questions and avoiding answering.

As the saying goes, "everything is learned, and human cultivation is an article."

A truly mature person knows what not to say and what not to ask.

Clear water makes no fish, while people look at it without friends. Some things, the tighter you ask, the deeper you will feel.

Being with you quietly is a kind of understanding and protection.

It is a silent comfort not to ask other people's private affairs.

The author Lao Yang's "Owl" once told such a story in the book:

At a banquet, several young people talked about the latest movies and got together for dinner.

Mr. Q sitting opposite heard this and said:

"You young people don't know anything. I usually only care about eating, drinking and having fun when I have a little time, and I don't know how to spend more time with my parents. "

Several young people endured silence, touched their glasses and continued to talk about the new things in Weibo.

When Mr. Q saw that they didn't talk, he said:

"Didn't your parents teach your elders to listen carefully?"

Still adamant4 irony:

"Today's young people are too uneducated. If this is the Spring and Autumn Period, you can drag it out and shoot it directly. "

Hearing this, a boy finally shouted at him:

"What's it to you?"

Seeing this, Mr. Q pretended to calmly read the classic quotations in Disciples Rules and tried to reason with this "unqualified" young man.

Unexpectedly, in the end, the boy swung the bottle and hit him on the head.

Such people often appear around us, always regard themselves as the judges of other people's lives, always point out other people's mountains and rivers with their own experiences, and feel as if they have mastered the truth of the world, and everyone wants to point it out and criticize it when they see it.

People and things that have nothing to do with themselves must express some opinions from their own point of view, pointing out that it is wrong here and not good there.

However, whether it is a kind reminder or a malicious accusation, how can we know the current mentality and situation of others without going through others' past and taking the road when others came?

The ancients said: "Sit still, always think about yourself, gossip is not in people."

It is a kind of self-discipline not to comment and guess maliciously;

It is a kind of cultivation not to point fingers and not to be a "bad reviewer" of life.

If you don't say the wrong thing, you will give people the least kindness.

Some time ago, the company had a holiday, and my colleagues discussed where to play.

Gao Ge suggested: "Xiao Li came down at the end of last year. Let's go to his place to play, so as to give him a warm home. "

Everyone discussed it sentence by sentence, and everyone thought it was a good idea.

Only Xiao Li blushed awkwardly and said:

"Sorry, I just have something to do this week. Please come later. "

Brother Gao joked:

"If the down payment is paid, there will be no money to decorate. We are still eager to give you a warm home. Don't keep us waiting too long. "

Xiao Li gave a wry smile and left the lively teahouse.

Knowing that Xiao Li hasn't been decorated yet, he is going to be a guest. This is not a real proposal, but more like a deliberate ridicule;

It is not the so-called concern, leaving only embarrassment for Xiao Li.

It seems like a joke, but it really hurts the self-esteem and dignity of colleagues, and this sentence is like a crack in their relationship, even if it heals, it will leave a scar.

People often say: "A sharp knife hurts people, but a bad word hurts people and hates them."

Deliberately putting others' sufferings in front of everyone can only hurt others' hearts and add troubles to themselves. I lost my sense of proportion and feeling.

In this world, everyone's growing environment is very different, the problems they are facing at present are also different, and their living habits and pace are also different.

Everyone has unspeakable misery and pain. As bystanders, we should not tear other people's scars, but should reserve a space to put those fragile and grateful.

Seeing through without telling the truth and knowing without asking is a kind of maturity and gentleness.

If you don't deliberately expose your weaknesses, you will be considerate of yourself and others.

Li Changyu said in the dialogue:

Whether we like it or not, others live in their own world after all;

Whether we are happy or not, no one else can really come into our lives.

May we get to know each other, stay together, know how to leave room for each other, don't ask about the past, don't comment on right and wrong, don't expose people's shortcomings, speak softly and get along comfortably.

* * * and friends.