We always say that parents always love their children, and whatever they do is for their own good. Square face always tells everyone that it is natural for parents to love their children, but what I didn't say is that this is only the vast majority.

A few people are parents because of the reproductive instinct of an animal. Love or not, this topic may not have been discussed from beginning to end.

The phrase "parents love their children, but their plans are far-reaching" has changed from a warm word to the most poisonous chicken soup and lies in the world.

They may really love their children, but their hearts are not just. People's hearts are all fleshy, and maybe it's human nature to be partial. There is nothing to blame for the unconscious doing it occasionally.

But what if subconsciously, deliberately taking sides? This is a kind of selfish love, treating children as your own possessions, and whether you like them or not depends on your own feelings.

As a continuation and inheritance of one's own life, as a valuable item, I like it if it is valuable, and abandon it if it is not.

What's more, they may really not love children and have no heart. They really regard having children as a way of punching in their lives. When they are finished, their lives will be complete, and others, whether dead or alive, good or bad, will be ignored. They only love themselves.

I once saw a woman's reply in the comment area. She told an incredible story about herself. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I would have thought that there would be no such parents and brothers in the world, but the blood and tears of this woman made me believe in reality.

Because of her parents and brothers, she separated from her husband who was originally in love, and finally parted ways and became strangers. After the divorce, she still couldn't get peace. After her divorce, her husband gave her the only hard-earned property, a small house, but her parents asked her to hand over the house on which her brother got married.

She refused and was scolded and even beaten by her family, resulting in a concussion.

But in the end, she didn't compromise, made a clean break with her family and lived alone with her children. Because there was no money to change rooms, she had to install a camera to guard against it day and night.

And this woman's tragedy was never the first, and certainly not the last. Human nature has never stood up to scrutiny. Han Xiao is the heroine of another tragic story. Because it is going on now, her story may be more worth pondering.

Han Xiao is 29 years old. She just talked about marriage. She got married later. It's not that she is not good enough, nor is there any defect in her external conditions, nor is there something wrong with her personality. But before that, she didn't dare to marry, also can't marry.

"You can't get married. It is most important to earn more money to support the family. Your brother's marriage depends on you. "

This is what Han Xiao's mother said to her when she was 23. People raise their daughters, and once they graduate from college and have jobs, they try their best to find blind dates for their daughters and sharpen their heads to find objects for their daughters, but Han does the opposite. They never urge their daughters to get married, and they never worry about finding a partner for their daughters, let alone getting married for them.

The reason is also very simple. They have a son.

Han Xiao knew his parents' partiality from an early age. Although the family conditions are not good, she is not so poor that she can't afford to send her two children to school. But her parents don't want her to go to school after graduating from junior high school.

I hope she will retire, find a job, earn more money to support her family, send her younger brother to school, save money for her daughter-in-law and subsidize her family.

But Han Xiao refused, insisted on going to school, hunger strike and crying, and tried everything. Later, Han Xiao's teacher came to the door, earnestly advised him, reprimanded him, and told Han Xiao's parents that girls' schooling was very useful and they could earn a lot of money in the future. Han Xiao can continue to go to school.

Through his own efforts, Han Xiao finally lived up to his teacher's expectations, was admitted to a good university and found a well-paid job. Even if the work intensity is high, she insists on enduring the pain that young people can't eat, just to show her parents that she is capable and useful.

But parents never care about this. Even if Han Xiao is excellent, even if his younger brother is a loser and plays games at home every day after graduating from college, people still hold his younger brother as a treasure in their hands and regard Han Xiao, who is working hard to earn money to support his family, as grass.

Han Xiao worked until the wee hours every day, and his parents never called to ask, but on the day of the release, the phone called voluntarily. Parents never ask whether Han Xiao, who lives in a shared house in a big city with a monthly living allowance of 1000, is enough, whether he eats well or not, and whether he dresses warmly or not. They only ask when his salary will be paid, every time.

Han Xiao didn't dare to get married or fall in love, and her work intensity made her too busy to take care of her love life.

Until now, she has really found the other half who wants to get married and really has the idea of spending the rest of her life with someone. But now this marriage, at this point, is going to be yellow.

In fact, she and her boyfriend are very loving. Although her boyfriend is two years younger than her, this boy is very responsible and ambitious, and he is a good marriage partner. In the future, her husband's family will be very friendly and respectful to Han Xiao. Perhaps many people can't think that the reason why this marriage will be destroyed soon lies in a condition of Han Xiao's parents.

Parents asked Han Xiao to ask the man's family for a bride price of 500,000 yuan. Without him, he would not return it. In other words, this 500,000 yuan is definitely going back, and it must be handed over to her family to deal with, even Xiao Han is not qualified to deal with it.

Parents' demands were very firm. They gave Han Xiao a death order: "Without this bride price, you can't get married. We didn't raise you for nothing, and we didn't raise you for years. Don't forget to repay our kindness and don't be the baiwenhang who only cares about his own enjoyment. "

But Han Xiao can't make this unreasonable request to her husband's family in any case. She was scolded by her parents several times, but she couldn't speak after all. But in the end, Han Xiao's mother looked at her daughter and spoke to the man's family.

"If you want my daughter to marry you, then take out a bride price of 500,000 to prove the sincerity of your family. I can't afford to raise such a big daughter, for nothing. "

Han Xiao's mother, how tough her tone was, was later heard by Han Xiao from her boyfriend. Even though her boyfriend knew about Han Xiao's difficulties and all the grievances she suffered, she was still shaken by Han Xiao's mother's strong intimidation.

With ordinary family conditions, how can the man get this 500,000 bride price, even if he loves Han Xiao again?

Can he elope with Han Xiao? Can he make a clean break with Han Xiao? He couldn't help it. The fierceness of Han Xiao's family made the boy lose confidence in this relationship. Now the relationship between the two people is slowly cooling down and fading away. It may be a matter of time before we break up.

Because of this, she had a big fight with her mother, but her mother's answer made her originally hopeful heart become desperate and empty.

"I have lived for my family all my life and never lived for myself. I am filial to you. I have worked hard to make money for you over the years. I think I have done enough to repay your kindness.

I want to get married now. What's wrong with it? I've never disobeyed you since I was a child. Can't you follow me to do this? "

"What's wrong with me? Without hurting you? What's wrong with asking your brother for a bride price of 500 thousand There seems to be a problem between us. We don't want to marry a girl. You calculate carefully, how much investment, how much property and how much energy are needed to train a college student, which one is not worth that 500 thousand?

Who let you be a daughter? What is the purpose of raising a daughter? Not just for your son's future marriage. Don't forget that we raised you, and you will help your brother even if you die. This is your responsibility as a daughter. Even if you don't do it for your brother, you should repay him. As long as one person is happy, no one cares about the whole family. No daughter is so selfish as you.

You always call us weird. If we are partial, we won't give you food and a place to sleep. Do you think you can live to this day? You can still argue with me alive now. Did you touch your conscience when you said it? It's really the big girl who didn't stay and raised you for nothing. "

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I poured out my true feelings, but my mother gave me a painful and dismissive response. Han Xiao's heart is completely dead.

She finally made up her mind and said this to me.

"I have always felt that my parents still love me even if they are partial to my younger brother, but now I find that I am just a tool in their eyes.

But my heart is too soft and I care about other people's opinions. Although I have thought about rejecting some times to get myself out of trouble, I still can't make a clean break with my family.

If my marriage is ruined by my family, I will never get married again. I think even if I want to, this condition of my parents has blocked my marriage door, and I just don't want luxury.

If they force me again, I will cut my hair and become a monk and escape from the world of mortals. This is the only way. They can't do anything about me anymore, so I can live happier.

Square face, what do you say? "

Her question left me speechless. I wanted to tell her that you can choose a better way and live only for yourself, but I still didn't say it. After all, she is the one who suffers.

Her pain and struggle are only understood by herself. Some things are not with her, so it's always easy to stand and talk. Those methods that think they can work may not be really useful to her, and she may not be so cruel.

You have to believe that some parents really only regard their son as the fruit of their hard sowing and harvesting, while their daughter is just a pit for burying radishes.

The pit that has to be dug because of the need to grow radish, although it is also vital and indispensable, is secondary to the existence of radish.

In this kind of person's eyes, the pit exists for radish, and it is natural to supply all nutrients for radish, which is her greatest mission in life.

Just like Han Xiao's parents, her parents regard her as an omnipotent "tool person" and move her wherever she is needed, without giving her a chance to refute. Even the pursuit of their own happiness is a luxury, because in the eyes of Han Xiao's parents, the existence of Han Xiao paved the way for his younger brother.

If her brother lives happily and well, she is entitled to happiness. On the contrary, my brother is not doing well, and neither is she. Even if her brother is doing well, and she is not doing well because she helped him, that is the sacrifice she should make. Her parents think so.

How selfish her parents are, their children are regarded as "tools" to complete their lives, but they are not tools or objects. They are complete, alive, thoughtful, subjective and emotional people. They have the right to decide their own life and live the life they want.

I have used Jay Chou's Listen to Mom to interpret filial piety before, but filial piety is not blind obedience, unprincipled and brainless, but ignorance.

If you meet such parents, and you still don't know how to resist and fight for yourself, then this life will be endless and extremely difficult.

Yan Fang doesn't want everyone to listen to this kind of foolish filial piety, let alone follow suit. People are divided into good and bad, and their character is poor. Even parents cannot avoid it.

It is a drag to meet those selfish people who are filial to you. With them, they are not qualified to ask their children to be filial. After all, they have never assumed the responsibilities and obligations as parents from beginning to end, so what about asking their children to be filial?

It is better to let go of yourself, be kind to yourself and live your own life. Parents who really love themselves, in fact, their wishes are as simple as that. They will not ask their children to sacrifice or fulfill anything at all, let alone kidnap them with affection. This is the attitude of real parents.