I've been awake for 86 days, and I click "Pay attention" at the top right, and continue to provide concrete practical methods and spiritual growth experiences to change the bottom thinking, thus changing actions.

This article is almost full of famous sayings and aphorisms, specific cases and specific solutions. Please know.

Every family, school, shop and office should frame the following passage and hang it on the wall;

Children should remember these words, instead of wasting time reciting knowledge;

If you and I practice these words, our life will be changed.

Schwab said, "My ability lies in inspiring the enthusiasm of people around me."

"The greatest capital I have is appreciation and encouragement. I inspire people's potential in this way.

"There is nothing that discourages a person's enthusiasm more than the criticism from his boss.

I have never criticized anyone.

I think it is very important to give people positive motivation for their work.

So I like to encourage others rather than find fault.

If I see any bright spot,

I will sincerely praise it, and I will not be stingy with the words of praise. "

this is Schwab's secret.

it sounds simple, but what do ordinary people do in their daily lives?

do the opposite!

if anything goes wrong, they immediately reprimand their subordinates mercilessly;

when they want to, they turn a blind eye to their subordinates' efforts.

As an old saying goes, "Good things don't go out, but bad things spread thousands of miles."

"I have a wide range of friends, and I know celebrities all over the world," Schwab said.

"I find that no matter how remarkable the other person's achievements are,

I will work harder when I am praised, but the opposite is true when I am criticized."

This point mentioned by Schwab is one of the reasons why andrew carnegie has made outstanding achievements.

whether in public or in private, he never hesitates to praise his colleagues and subordinates.

andrew carnegie didn't even forget to praise others on his tombstone.

The epitaph he wrote to himself reads:

"Fortunately, the people who sleep here were always accompanied by wise men."

A survey was conducted a few years ago to study the reasons why wives run away from home.

please guess, what is the main reason?

the answer is "not cherished". I bet men run away from home for the same reason.

We are always used to our partners' efforts, but forget that they also need to be praised and appreciated.

People are used to being stingy with their sincere praise for six days, six weeks,

or even sixty years.

They ignore this point:

People are as eager for recognition, praise and gratitude as they are for food.

In the movie Reunion in Vienna,

Alfred Lent, the movie star who plays the leading role, once said:

"I want nothing but to nourish my self-esteem."

We pay attention to the nutrition of children and their families,

care about their health, but forget that self-esteem also needs nutrition and care;

We cook to provide nutrients for others, but refuse to provide spiritual food.

We never realize that words of praise will be like the morning star.

They will shine brightly in their memory and never die.

sincere praise can change a person's life.

My friend Little Red Riding Hood said:

Specific words of sincere praise:

Verbal actions.

1. Language

You are really amazing! I'm really lucky to meet you because ... let me ... I'm going to ... do it,

If we are expressed in this way, do you feel this energy?

2. Action

If someone praises it like this, it will be over, and of course we won't feel anything.

But if after a while, one day we suddenly receive a private letter:

Recently, I tried what you shared …,

Now I have made … progress, and I really feel great!

how will we feel at this time?

if we receive feedback after this action every once in a while, how do we feel?

If one day after a long time, someone tells us:

Meeting us is a turning point in life, how would we feel?

people are only happy with sincere compliments from the heart, but naturally feel rejected by flattery.

So what's the difference between praise and flattery?

the former is sincere and the latter is hypocritical; The former is selfless and the latter is selfish;

The former comes from the heart, while the latter is superficial;

the former is praised by the world, while the latter is despised by the world.

There is a bust of General Alvaro Obregon in Tepec Palace in chapple.

His immortal sentence is engraved on the bottom of the statue:

"Don't be afraid of the enemies near the city, but trust the friends who are kind and gentle."

please don't get me wrong. I don't advocate gaining opportunities.

what I advocate is a brand-new attitude towards life.

please allow me to repeat here-this is a brand-new attitude towards life.

"No matter what language you use," Ralph Waldo Emerson once said,

"Every word you say is engraved with your own brand."

people only think about themselves 95% of the time.

Praise is the most easily overlooked virtue in daily life.

whenever our children hand in a beautiful report card, we always forget to praise them;

When they cheered for the cake baked successfully for the first time or the bird's nest built by themselves,

we also forgot to affirm their progress.

Parents' attention and recognition are what children crave most, but they are always ignored by us.

Next time, when you eat a delicious steak just cooked in a restaurant,

Please ask the waiter to tell the chef your approval;

please don't forget to thank the clerk who has been working hard for a day when he still treats you patiently and politely.

For our colleagues, family members and friends, the same indifference will cause double sadness.

When dealing with people, please don't forget that everyone around us is an ordinary person who is eager for recognition.

Every heart in the whole world will be happy with the approval of others.

Please let gratitude spill like fire wherever you go;

They will ignite the flame of friendship and repay you with warmth.

when criticism and ridicule don't help, it is sincere praise that works.

hurting people's feelings is not worth advocating, and it will not change the other person in any way.

I use the following proverb to remind myself at all times:

I will go through the road in this life;

after this time, you can't start again.

all the good deeds within my power, all the goodwill filled in my heart,

I will not hesitate to give them at once.

I won't delay or be indifferent, because I can't start again on this road.

Emerson once said:

"Everyone I meet must be better than me in some way.

That's why I learn from everyone. "

(that is, I have always stressed that a threesome must have my teacher)

If this sentence applies to Emerson, it also applies to you and me.

let's put aside our gains and losses and desires for a while and think about what is commendable about others.

please put away your flattering words and praise them with the most sincere attitude.

"Praise sincerely, and don't be stingy with compliments."

People will cherish your words for a lifetime.

When you have put these words behind your head, the other person will still relive them again and again in your heart.

second, how to make others work for you

There is only one way to make others work for you in the whole world.

don't you believe it? There is really only one:

let the other person do it willingly and spontaneously.

please remember that there is no other way.

the only way to ask you to do something for me is to give you what you want.

(The first way to persuade others is to arouse their strong desire.

the able roam all over the world, while the mediocre walk alone. )

So, what do you want?

sigmund freud said that the desire for sex and success is the eternal motivation of human beings.

john dewey, an American philosopher, holds a slightly different view.

Dr. Dewey said that the deepest motivation in human nature is "the desire for attention".

this crucial conclusion will be reflected in the full text, please keep it in mind.

what do humans really need?

there are not many real needs of human beings, but they all stem from the most primitive and firm desire.

The following are what everyone yearns for:

1. A healthy and long life

2. Food

3. Sleep

4. Money and what money can buy

5. Immortality of the afterlife

6. Satisfaction of sexual life

7. Happiness and well-being of children

.

Freud called it "the desire for success" and Dewey called it "the desire for attention".

people's desire for it is as urgent as their desire for food and sleep, but it is hard to be satisfied.

Lincoln once wrote in his letter that "everyone likes to be praised".

william james once asserted that "deep in the roots of human nature, there is a strong desire for the appreciation of others".

I don't know if you have noticed, but he didn't use gentle words such as "hope", "want" or "yearning".

His original words were "strong desire".

this desire is so strong that it is stirring in everyone's heart, but few people know the truth.

if someone can quench the thirst of others' hearts, they can easily control others' hearts.

When he died unfortunately, "even strangers will cry for him".

Hope to "feel important" is also one of the biggest differences between humans and animals.

people are very eager to be recognized and appreciated.

If our ancestors didn't feel the call of human nature and

were eager for a sense of accomplishment, we wouldn't have today's civilization.

without this desire, human beings are no different from animals.

if you are willing to tell me what makes you most satisfied, I can know what kind of person you are.

This determines your personality and has the most significant influence on your life.

In order to satisfy himself, john rockefeller invested to build a modern hospital in Beijing,

to take care of thousands of poor people he had never met before;

Dillinger, on the other hand, embarked on the road of crime and satisfied himself by robbing and killing.

When FBI agents rounded him up, Dillinger rushed into a farmhouse in Minnesota and shouted,

"I am Dillinger!" "

Being regarded as public enemy number one made him pretentious and proudly declare:

"I won't hurt you, but I am the legendary Dillinger!"

As you can see, it's also to seek self-satisfaction.

Rockefeller and Dillinger adopted very different ways.

Even celebrities are eager to get the attention of others.

In order to win sympathy and attention, people sometimes even pretend to be weak, thus gaining a sense of existence.

People are so eager for others' approval that mental patients even go crazy.

This shows how much people need to be taken seriously, and how much miracle can be created by sincere praise.

third, human nature means that everyone thinks he is a good person, even a criminal! ! !

the law of human nature is that people only think about themselves 95% of the time.

ninety-nine percent of the time, no matter how serious the mistake is, people will not blame themselves.

"Be strict with others, be lenient with yourself" is a true portrayal of people.

if you understand the laws of human nature, you can forgive everything.

Few criminals admit that they are bad people.

They have the same human nature as you and me.

So they make excuses for themselves and explain to you why they pulled the trigger.

They try to find a proper reason for these antisocial behaviors.

Whether this reason is tenable or not, they firmly believe that their actions are justified and should not be put in prison.

If even those lawless criminals in prison think they have done nothing wrong,

Then are the people around you and me even more so?

John, the founder of chain department stores.