The end of lyricism

Haizi: From Spiritual Home to Spiritual Home

The accidental death of a romantic.

1989 At about 5: 30 p.m. on March 26th, a roaring train passed the cold rail near Shanhaiguan, and the warm body on the rail suddenly split in two. Now no one knows what kind of "quatrains" Haizi will write when he lies in a hard sleeper at the last moment. That's the train lane, but even so, the time between life and death will not exceed 0.05438+0 seconds.

Later writers quickly fixed this short moment into an eternal moment. Regarding the death of a poet, we can hear countless statements: tangible, such as "poet martyr"; There is a metaphysical view that suicide is only a literary dragon climbing technique. The imagination of colleagues is particularly good in this respect, but the final result is nothing more than "scholars despise each other" or "scholars value each other". However, how do more laymen of poetry, including Haizi's family, view this suicide case after it is made public? Haizi was originally named Cha Haisheng. If Haizi's death is the accidental death of a romantic, then Cha Haisheng's death is the accidental death of a son. Different from Death of a Poet, Death of a Son exudes the fragrance of culture, but it is more capable of realizing the fatal pain.

Cha Haisheng is a farm boy. Even if he didn't become a famous poet later, he was admitted to the university at the age of 15 (1979). In Gaohe Tea Bay, Huaining County, Anqing City, Anhui Province, he has been called the golden phoenix flying out of the grass nest. Those amateurs who live in the countryside don't understand the truth of "phoenix nirvana". In their view, it is unreasonable to "sacrifice for poetry" or "sacrifice for honor" If Cha Haisheng, a living teacher of China University of Political Science and Law, and Haizi, a famous poet who died, were given a choice, they would definitely choose the former without hesitation. "The family is very happy", the mother once recalled the scene when her son just got off work. "In the first month of 90 yuan's salary, he sent 60 yuan home." Perhaps, the poet will not agree with such layman's comments. But under that seemingly short-sighted statement, there is a simple life ethics hidden.

A letter from a madman

In most poets, there is tension between life ethics and artistic rules. Bioethics often belongs to "myopia", with special emphasis on the secular and accessible real world; Art rules often belong to "farsightedness" and pay more attention to distant and even illusory fantasy worlds. If you can't find the balance between the two, it's like a rabbit out of focus, bumping into the stump of art or life. Unfortunately, Cha Haisheng, as a son, was nearsighted, and Haizi, as a poet, was farsighted. The final tragedy can be imagined.

That year, Cha Haisheng spent his winter vacation in his hometown, and wrote a letter to the director of his philosophy teaching and research section, intending to ask for sick leave for half a year. However, he later changed his mind and wrote a written statement, saying that he should feel at ease in class, make achievements in teaching and strive to be a lecturer during the year. Before going to Shanhaiguan, Haizi wrote several suicide notes that were not suicide notes. One of them said, "Two Taoist priests filled my ears with auditory hallucinations, and most of the voices were their voices. Last Thursday, they suddenly put me in a coma and opened my eyes. They have caused what I call' the heart is in harmony' and' the ear is in harmony'. "

On the one hand, it is the life ethics of "striving to be a lecturer during the year", on the other hand, it is the artistic principle of "hearing is empty" (this can not be attributed to qigong alone), which is enough to tear a bloody mess. These letters are like Lu Xun's Diary of a Madman, which consists of a preface and a text. In the preface written in classical Chinese, the madman is not crazy, he follows the ethics of life and has "gone to stand by and watch somewhere"; In the words written in the vernacular, the madman follows the artistic law, just like the Van Gogh-style artist.

Young people from other provinces who split in two

Doctors and schools regard Haizi's suicide as "schizophrenia". His friend Nishikawa disagreed with this view, especially pointing out that Haizi wrote in another suicide note: "My death has nothing to do with anyone", according to which the poet was quite sober. This kind of defense is not to "truly and comprehensively understand Haizi", but to imagine Haizi as a "one-sided person". In fact, every slightly sensitive writer is prone to "schizophrenia" in which reality and art contradict each other. In other words, when we are looking for a spiritual home, we are likely to go into the spiritual home by mistake.

Haizi is not a two-faced god, Janus, and it is difficult to walk between life ethics and artistic rules. He is more like a "viscount in two" (to be exact, a "young man from other provinces in two"), and his body that can't be stitched after his death is a silent metaphor. As the eldest son in the family, he must deeply understand the heaviness of "the eldest brother is like a father"; As a lyric poet, he must face all kinds of "unbearable lightness in life". Life ethics and artistic rules, heavy and light, country and city, like the wings of scissors, cut a life lightly.

Part II: Part I: Visible Cities (2)

In a sense, a writer must face a certain mental dilemma, just like a patient with a low fever of 37 degrees 2 will have beautiful hallucinations. But how not to collapse like Haizi (that is equivalent to a high fever) and be completely cured like a madman (that is equivalent to losing everyone) is a problem. There is a Macquarie poet mental hospital in the United States, which was once the home of famous poets such as Plath, Lovel and sexton. In my opinion, instead of driving the poet out of utopia like Plato, it is better to send the mad poet to a mental hospital like McCawlin, which will not stop but delay the poet's suicide.

"Madness" is not a commendatory term or a derogatory term, but a phenomenon that goes hand in hand with the poet. But we either praise the mental symptoms of lunatics or flatly refuse to admit the existence of this disease. How to strike a balance between life ethics and artistic rules, and how to maintain a slightly higher constant temperature and lower fever than normal without affecting health, I am afraid that only by seriously thinking about these issues, rather than avoiding them, can we avoid the road of no return from spiritual home to spiritual home.

Finally, I need to declare that the above analysis does not affect my respect for the deceased, nor does it affect my love for his genius short chapter.

(This article quoted Mr. Liaoyuan and Mr. Gang's related articles, and I would like to express my gratitude. )

Sanmao: How much do you know about the flowers in your dreams?

The secret of staying young forever is to die young-this is a bitter truth. Just as Haizi will always be a young "little Dongzi" in our hearts, no one can imagine that he will become a literary middle-aged man; Just like Sanmao is always Cinderella in the world of mortals, no one can describe her 60-year-old face. Coincidentally, the anniversary of Haizi's death is Sanmao's birthday. This is another metaphor. A writer's life often begins with his or her death. Perhaps, they didn't leave this world, just hiding in a secret corner, deliberately testing their works with death, and then watching people's tears secretly laughing.

When Sanmao died, I was still in junior high school. The news of her suicide has reached that remote county for several days. Only then did I know that Sanmao was not an anime character written by Mr. Zhang Leping, and I began to look for her words. It must be admitted that I am a cultural hindsight. I just started studying Jin Yong in college and listening to Tayu Lo in graduate school. When they were laughed at and passed, I approached the pass of these things. It is this time difference that keeps me from having the passion of "idolatry". I will be temporarily anesthetized in their works, but I am not an authentic member of the "fan club". The first time I saw Sanmao was her article "How many flowers fall in a dream". This drifting Song of Eternal Sorrow, like a cup of sweet bitter water, slowly soaked my afternoon. For a long time, I have been ashamed of being "touched" at that time, thinking that it was only a slight puberty disorder. But Sanmao's power is here, and she will make you "rejuvenate" at a certain moment, although there must be some terrible chapters in your memories of youth.

Sanmao and Qiong Yao are often compared as if they were two partners in the same literary dance. In fact, San Mao is related to an era, while Qiong Yao is related to every era. In other words, the former is somewhat inappropriate, and her pain may make young readers laugh out loud; The latter, however, can make the audience cry generously at any time. Roland? Bart once said that Garbo's face symbolizes an "idea", while Hepburn's face represents an "event". If Sanmao has that kind of "desperate beauty", Qiong Yao's "charm for the play" gradually disappears, which can only remind people of Zhao Wei's face-the "aesthetic" that expresses coquetry.

Sometimes, I feel cruel and glad: fortunately, both Haizi and Sanmao passed away in time. In a mythical era, the red curtain fell one after another. Perhaps, for them, death will be a decent way out. Cultural heroes can only be some "lingering" cultural adherents in an era that does not belong to them. They either become clowns or are regarded as clowns by others. And that era when spiritual alcohol may be ignited at any time is both joyful and dangerous. Although I have imagined the high-spirited years of those teenagers countless times, I have never sighed too much for my untimely life.

Tonight, I don't care about human beings, I just want them to rest in peace-as the poetess Lu Yimin said, "You can die in this city or die gently".

Hu Heqing: Ten years of life and death.

I don't know Hu Heqing. When he jumped off the windowsill on a stormy night in Shanghai, I was still in a middle school in a small town in Anhui. By the time I go to Shanghai to study, his soul may have returned to his hometown in Anhui. But I seem to have known Hu Heqing for a long time. I know many of his articles by heart. Every time I meditate, I always feel that the lights are dim, although there are no sad words in them. We are a connection between the living and the dead, and I would like to call this friendship "the friendship between life and death".

Part III: Part I: Visible City (3)

The light green cover of "Homesickness" and the dark green cover of "Hu He Wen Qing Village" accompanied me through the poor university life. At that time, there was a graceful ancient philology teacher in Wei and Jin Dynasties who recommended a book on contemporary literary criticism to us for the first time in class-the author was Hu Heqing. Out of trust in the teacher, we rushed to Fuzhou Road at the weekend to buy back the books. The whole dormitory was empty because of the departure of local students, but we and two rooms next door circulated Hu Heqing's articles and made excited and sad voices. The flashing light of those words is enough to illuminate the inexperienced teenagers and the bleak youth. This kind of "reading collective reaction" was very common in 1980 s, and people were easily excited by an article to stay up all night; But in the 1990 s, it was a glimpse, and a book with a little depth would only make readers yawn.

Ten years of life and death, few people will think of Hu Heqing today. This is not a bad thing. Hu Heqing once said before his death: "Literature is like an ancient house by the Grand Canal to me ... I would like to be locked in such a house all my life, like a lonely wake, listening to the gurgling river and fantasizing about the mystery of life." He easily forgets Cao Pi's so-called "immortal event" and prefers to live like his favorite Qian Zhongshu: "Generally speaking, learning is something that two or three innocent people discuss and practice in an old house in the middle of nowhere." Although Confucius also praised a similar saying: "In the late spring, people have finished their spring clothes, won five or six titles, and six or seven boys have bathed in interpretation, danced through the wind and returned singing", but their aspirations are not the same. From the singular "I" to "two or three simple-minded people" and then to "five or six top scholars and six or seven boys", this not only means the number of people, but also means that their ideals are as different as "simple-minded people" and "simple kings". Hu Heqing is unmarried and lonely all his life. Qian Zhongshu and Jiang Yang have daughters and three of us to accompany him, while Confucius is 3,000 disciples and 72 sages-each of them lives according to his inner yearning realm. Hu Heqing and Qian Zhongshu have many similarities. One is willing to close the "old house by the Grand Canal" for life, and the other is fond of taking photos in Dumen and living in the "old house in the middle of nowhere". Both of them have almost the same clear feelings. But perhaps it is the difference between "I" and "the three of us" that makes Hu Heqing and Qian Zhongshu embark on the same road, one calmly dies and the other enjoys his old age.

At the time of writing this article, it was April Fool's Day in the West. According to Hu Heqing, he and another critic, Zhu, can only be included in the Guinness Book of Fools in Shanghai, where smart buddies are a dime a dozen. He claims to be a "very rustic" literary critic, which is not modesty. Hu Heqing's literary criticism can hardly see the eighteen weapons in western literary theory, but it is permeated with the soft light of local civilization like the psychic Baoyu. Even his academic paper was punctuated by Qian Zhongshu, who commented: "The whole article is also funny, which is different from academic papers." We know that in modern society, no matter "the ancient house by the Grand Canal" or "the old house in the wilderness", it can only exist in the besieged city of the college. However, with the establishment of academic norms and discipline system, the Chinese department of universities has also begun to exclude literary critics with keen sense of touch under the pretext of learning physics and chemistry. The latter has only two choices: either westernization or academy, which is a dead end for Hu Heqing. It is said that his paranoia over China culture is superior to western culture, and he naturally cannot become a "rising star" of westernization. A senior scholar of Chinese studies, after reading his theory of writers, smiled and said, "Oh, this is not a comment, but actually a novel." Hu Heqing recalled this incident and said: "This is of course flattering; But if I can really write a writer's theory into something like a novel, that's exactly what I want. " In this case, he lost contact with the "experts" who are good at writing academic journals. Li Jie linked Hu Heqing's death with Wang Guowei's self-destruction with his usual exaggerated tone. The difference between the two is incalculable, but Chen Yinque's words of mourning for Wang Guowei can also be applied to Hu Heqing: "When the value of a culture declines, people who are transformed by this culture will feel pain."

Hu Heqing favored Xu Hun in the late Tang Dynasty. He once asked a friend to write one of his poems as a banner: "When my brother misinterpreted the boat, the green hills and red leaves ran. It's still far from waking up at sunset, and it's raining down the west building. " I wonder if he thought that the phrase "under the storm in the West Wing" had become a prophecy? I wonder if he will think of another poem by Xu Hun on the last night of April, 1994: "When I arrive in Wan Li, a high city, I don't feel sad, like a willow in Tingzhou. At the beginning of the cloud, the sun sinks and the rain comes. "

Section IV: Part I: Visible Cities (4)

Tayu Lo: When he becomes history.

"Your appearance"

For a long time, I didn't know what Tayu Lo looked like. Artists usually have two faces: one is an actor who regards himself as a work and personally performs various scandals, legends or affairs; The other couple are directors. They hide themselves behind their works, choose silence or even disappear quietly. It is hard to say which kind of Tayu Lo belongs to: as a screw in the cultural industry, you must abide by the rules of the game, attend press conferences, hold personal performances and be interviewed; As a lyric poet in underdeveloped areas, he must face the secret pain of himself, his times and his home country.

Later, I saw a photo of Tayu Lo. His first impression was that he was a gentle scholar with glasses, very gentle and even fragile. 200 1 Beijing Evening News has a sketch of Tayu Lo's writing: "Hair dyed yellow, wearing purple sunglasses, schoolbag sideways, wearing a green shirt, bright green pants and white casual shoes." However, this old urchin costume is just a camouflage suit for the body. If you look at it carefully several times, you will find that there seems to be alcohol flowing in his body, which may be ignited at any time.

Tayu Lo once admitted that the ideological source of his songs is "anger, anger and the like", because "anger represents a kind of concentration". Fortunately, he didn't catch the cynicism of cynics, and he was also free from the cleanliness of intellectuals. Tayu Lo belongs to cancer, which is not an insignificant detail. Even if we abandon all the knowledge of astrology, we can't deny the general biological knowledge of crabs. Although Cancer is soft in appearance and Tayu Lo is soft in heart, they all have their own body armor. This bulletproof vest protects those lonely hearts in the dark. We all remember "your appearance": "It seems that you don't care about turning around/it's a dim shadow after drying your tears."

The story of time

From kindergarten to primary school to middle school, all the music I can hear comes from street speakers, and the same sound makes me tone deaf. My first intimate contact with Tayu Lo was in college. It was an N-flow university, and "the air was full of lovers". Compared with those delicate female voices, Tayu Lo's voice is almost crude. But it makes my blood boil in an instant. Unlike burning in hot weather, this plateau boiling brings both warmth and cold. If Tayu Lo's followers are mostly followers of 1980, I would like to call myself a follower of 1980. The Story of Running Water Taking Time not only "changed a person" but also "changed us". People who are fond of homesickness1born in the middle and late 1970s are almost all "absentees present" in the 1980s. Although I personally experienced that era, I can only feel its splendor in my imagination.

Tayu Lo and Cui Jian were two cultural heroes in1980s. They can be called "beggars in the south and beggars in the north": one is dreaming of "home country" and the other is a fake monk who longs for water and girls. Gao Zeng, a campus folk singer, said respectfully: "I dare not talk about music, just like you saw a lighthouse and went down the river under the guidance of light, but can you shine a flashlight on others?" Tayu Lo certainly wouldn't agree with the metaphor of "lighthouse". He prefers to carry "fragile lanterns"-they will go out at any time despite his efforts to illuminate those gloomy faces. When a netizen told others that his music was regarded as the Bible, his answer was very concise and clear: "I am not Jesus." /kloc-Chinese mainland in the 1980s, like Europe and America in the 1960s, created one cultural miracle after another. This miracle may be the reconstructed Great Wall of Culture, or it may just be a mirage of culture. Many people can't extricate themselves from hallucinations, but Tayu Lo is an exception. On various occasions, he refused to call himself a "hero" and his works were "classics".

Time of Farewell

If Tayu Lo is a thing of the past, I doubt whether it is too cruel, but the reality is often so cruel. According to the survey of Southern Network, most people born in1980s know nothing about this once "godfather of music". People's appetites need different nutrition-"the reason for leaving in the years of parting/there is no need to tell them at last". Some followers like to classify Tayu Lo as "elegant". It seems that they can also be elegant.

Stephen Chow, another cultural hero, was born in the 1990s. Subtly, the hero appears in the form of a clown; More subtly, the "carnival spirit" of the big talk culture was copied into "coquetry aesthetics" by Sister Swallow (Zhao Wei). At the same time, a proverb that has been "misread" repeatedly spread from Kundera's mouth: "God laughs when human beings think". In the laughter, "outdated" Tayu Lo naturally became the object of ridicule. Laughter is not terrible, but taking it as a reason to refuse to think is close to boredom.

Section 5: Part 1: Visible Cities (5)

In my opinion, "Tayu Lo" and "Stephen Chow" are by no means incompatible enemies. Tayu Lo is not a woebegone "Sad Knight". His answer to the honorary title of "hero" is: "Please-heroes die easily!" Stephen Chow is not a "king of comedy" who can only laugh. His partner rudely called him "very serious, too serious, not funny at all". Life needs both funny tears and serious laughter.