If a person can really understand and make good use of this good way of life, he can quickly adapt to and cope with any new environment.
Many outstanding and successful people have gradually formed the character of "outsiders and insiders" in the complicated and changeable environment. They are not hard-edged and merciless, but relaxed, with proper limit.
When historian Cai Shangsi was writing the History of Social Science Revolution in China, his predecessor Ou Yangyuqian earnestly warned him: "The attitude of writing should naturally be rigorous, but there should be no anger ... Can criticism be included in the narrative?"
Ou Yangyuqian suggested that he take a "pure research attitude" as a "shield" to attack, and changed the title to "History of Social Thought in China". And sighed: "Mr. Cai, I admire your efforts, but no one can escape the sorrow of the ideological circle."
This shows that intellectuals can be tactful, mature and compromise in ways and methods and local issues, but they are unambiguous in their principled positions concerning major issues, personality and conscience, and they are clear-cut and neither supercilious nor supercilious.
In real life, there is such a person who often does not hesitate to lower his dignity and tries his best to please people who are better than himself in some ways, even if he is arrogant and rude to himself. This kind of "humble yourself and respect others" is really not worth it.
Not humble, can not be pitiful; If the voice is not loud, you can avoid being jealous. This attitude can be applied to any occasion and any environment. Being neither humble nor supercilious is a realm, a calm realm, an unfathomable realm, and a realm of being a man.
There is such a fable:
The dragon king and the frog met at the seaside. After greeting, the frog asked the dragon king, "Your Majesty, what is your residence like?"
The dragon king proudly said, "palaces built with pearls and attics built with shells;" The eaves are magnificent, and the pillars are solid and beautiful. What about you? What about your residence? "
Frog smiled: "My residence is as green as carpet and grass. The clear spring in Wo Wo and the white stone reflect the sky. Your Majesty, how do you feel when you are happy? What happens when you are angry? "
The Dragon King smiled and said, "If I am happy, I will pour nectar, so that the earth will be nourished and the grain will be abundant; When I get angry, there is a storm first, then there is a thunderbolt, then there is thunder, then there is discharge, and there is nothing left for thousands of miles. So, what about you, frog? "
Frog leisurely said: "When I am happy, I will croak against the cool breeze and bright moon;" When you are angry, you stare at your eyes first, then bulge your stomach. Finally, your anger disappears and everything is settled. "
Even a little frog can show his confidence, but do we need to reflect on ourselves? Although the Dragon Palace is beautiful, the frog house also has its own characteristics, which can be described as supercilious. Only a sane person can really do this. This is another manifestation of Fang.
Being neither humble nor supercilious basically means treating others equally, and those who are stronger than themselves do not shrink back; In front of people who are weaker than themselves but not arrogant. There are high and low positions and profound knowledge, but everyone is equal in personality.
Have an attitude or attitude problem when dealing with people. It is always closely related to identity, status, role and one's own personality. Usually, people in higher positions tend to show arrogance, which is not acceptable. Once their status or role changes, they will feel embarrassed in a world gap.
There is another kind of people, who come from humble origins, low status or weak personality, often show a humble attitude, contempt and contempt, which leads many people to disdain to associate with them. The above two attitudes towards life, one is arrogant and the other is humble, are not conducive to the normal communication of interpersonal relationships and hinder the communication of the soul and the harmony of emotions. These two attitudes are enemies of life, causing psychological and mental obstacles to get along with each other. Moreover, it casts a dark cloud over the communication atmosphere, making each other unhappy, unharmonious and unharmonious. People like to communicate with each other in an equal and normal state. The distance caused by "inferiority" or "arrogance" and the gap in interpersonal communication make it impossible for each other to build a bridge of friendship. Therefore, we should maintain a supercilious attitude in life.
In real life, we often associate with people who are superior to us in identity, talent, experience and ability. In this case, people often feel inferior because of this, thinking that they are ok, and they have psychological fear when facing each other, and their self-confidence will be greatly reduced. "Self-confidence is the cornerstone of success." If a person even loses self-confidence, then his success may be just an illusion. No matter what environment one is in, as long as one does not lose confidence, there is hope of success.
Xiao He has a very good voice and sings well, but he is a little unsure. When he needs to show his voice, he is afraid to come out. The company held several get-togethers. The host knew Xiao He had a good voice, so he pulled him up and sang a song for everyone. However, Xiao He blushed and refused desperately, saying that he could not sing well. At first, everyone coaxed him to sing, but later he refused and had to give up. However, the result was that no one paid attention to him anymore, and no one paid attention to him after he left. If a person who is afraid to sing in public is allowed to socialize, the effect can be imagined.
Isn't a person with this mentality a prisoner of his own mind? Therefore, in some things, it is not others but themselves who often bind their hands and feet.
As long as a person is not mean and greedy, he should have full confidence and never feel inferior, regardless of his status, ability and conditions. This concept should run through normal interpersonal communication.
Li Baiyou said in a poem: "Ah, how can I bow and scrape to those high-ranking officials whose sincere faces will never be seen?" If you feel afraid and inferior in front of "powerful people", then you can't make yourself generous and decisive. What can be done is hard to do. Therefore, you should put your position well at ordinary times. As long as we put away our psychological timidity and fully show our self-confidence, we will be able to handle things with ease.
There is a fairy tale that an oriole bird has an excellent singing voice, but it is too timid to sing in front of everyone. The oriole went to a learned partner and asked them how to practice courage. The oriole went to find an owl, a giraffe and an old squirrel, but each partner asked him to sing a song before telling it. In order to gain bold knowledge, he can sing in front of all his partners without the slightest timidity. The old squirrel said to him, "You have found a way to practice boldness."
Although orioles have a good voice, they are afraid to sing in public because of lack of self-confidence. When it finds confidence, it not only dares to sing, but also enjoys the love and respect of animals. Therefore, people can only be supercilious in some things if they are confident.
Suppose you visit the manager of a big company in order to find a job for your friend. You know in your heart that what you are going to see may be a person of high status, and what do you want from him. However, he is still passive and you are active, so you should adjust your mentality quickly and don't feel inferior. When you associate with a person and do something, psychologically feeling "I am begging you" will make you nervous, and everything is unnatural and not conducive to success.
To cultivate an open and humble attitude towards life, we must have certain social activities skills and social common sense. Life is not an abstract activity, but its manifestations are colorful, extensive knowledge and noble sentiments, which can often enrich social activities and life processes and bring various gains and enjoyment to participants.
If a person can't sing, dance or photograph, it's hard to establish feelings with people who have this hobby. If you invite friends to a party at home, you can't cook, and the atmosphere is obviously different from cooking a delicious meal. Therefore, mastering certain skills will open up more channels to participate in social activities and lay a good foundation for your future work.