Her children are often scolded by her for doing wrong things. But ... one day, the child did nothing wrong. In the evening, she puts the child on the bed and covers the quilt. She saw the child burying his head on the pillow and sobbed and asked, "Am I not a good boy today?"
"This question touched my whole body like electricity," said the young mother. "When a child does something wrong, I always try to correct her, but when she tries to do something good, I don't notice. When I put her in bed, I didn't even say a word of praise or encouragement. " Remember, never forget to praise others, and praise them more than once.
A linguist once said: "When the same tone or sentence appears repeatedly, it often has the power to influence people. For example, Lincoln's famous saying' government of the people, by the people and for the people', if he only puts forward a political point of view, he just says'. A democratic government will do. However, he emphasized the word "person" three times. Have a more profound and touching effect. "Indeed, everyone can't help but deepen their yearning for this ideal government when they hear this loud and powerful word. And when you hear such praise repeatedly, you will be moved.
After a girl who knew that she was mediocre in appearance fell in love with someone else, her lover whispered in her ear repeatedly: "Your deep eyes exude fantastic brilliance, which is really charming!" She will be radiant and confident that she has a pair of bright eyes that can dump all beings, and beauty will certainly take care of her.
Praise sometimes does not need to be deliberately decorated, as long as it comes from life, from the heart and reveals the true feelings, it will receive the effect of praise. But to give full play to the effect of praise, we need to pay attention to the following points.
Seek truth from facts and use appropriate words. When you prepare a compliment, you should first consider whether the other party believes it, whether the third party disagrees, and whether you have enough reasons to prove that your compliment is justified.
A teacher praised the students: "You are all good children, lively and lovely, study hard and be your teachers." . I am very happy. "This statement is very measured, let students study hard and don't be proud. But if the teacher says, "You are all very smart, and you will have great prospects in the future, much better than the students in other classes. "The effect is very different.
Praise should be specific, in-depth and meticulous. Abstract things are often not specific, and it is difficult to leave a deep impression on people. If you praise a person you meet for the first time, "You feel so good about us", then this sentence will have no effect at all and will pass without leaving any impression. However, if you praise an excellent salesman: "Jack's principles and attitude in dealing with people are very rare. No matter how much goods you give him, as long as he is willing to take it, you don't have to bother anymore. " Then praise will play a great role, because you tap the other person's less obvious advantages, give praise, and increase the other person's sense of value.
Full of passion Say a thousand words of praise to each other casually, which means saying nothing. Empty praise without enthusiasm can't make the other person happy, and sometimes it may cause the other person's disgust and dissatisfaction because of your perfunctory.
Praise is often used to encourage. Encouragement can build people's self-confidence. Confidence is half the battle. Encouraging each other with praise can achieve twice the result with half the effort, especially at the first time. No matter what anyone does, there is a first time. If the other person doesn't do well the first time, you should sincerely praise him: "It's not easy to have such a performance for the first time!" " "Others will build confidence because of your praise, and will naturally do better next time.
Praise others in the tone of a third party. It's always a bit flattering to praise someone in person or directly. It might be much better if we put it another way. Praise each other in a "third party" tone and say, "No wonder so-and-so has always said that you are very good. I saw you today ... "It is conceivable. The other party must be very happy. So praising someone in person sometimes makes people feel fake. Doubt whether you are sincere or not, and praise each other indirectly behind your back will make them feel that your praise is sincere.
Pay attention to moderation in praise. Excessive praise and empty flattery will make the other party feel unacceptable, even disgusting and annoying, and the result is counterproductive. Only moderate praise will make the other person feel gratified. Moderation varies from person to person, from time to time, and from thing to thing. It needs to be explored and accumulated continuously and mastered step by step.