It has been a while since I read "Broken Home". I want to think about it for a while and then look back and think about what this book has brought me. I am very happy. Because of this book, I have had the following changes:

First, I started to clean up my room, bathroom, and even my own drawers. Laying out the drawers according to the "751" principle made my life much more refreshing.

The second is to begin to accept the obsessions of the past in life;

The third is to admire the inclusion of material and human spirit into the consideration of abandonment in accordance with necessity, suitability, and pleasure. To measure your own life, this kind of mentality adjustment makes you very peaceful;

Fourthly, Japanese writers can study so many aspects on a small topic, the most important thing is the balance of "in and out".

Fifth, life also needs to be designed. I always feel that I can’t clean it up because I don’t think and design.

Summary:

Breaking away from others

Eiko Yamashita

84 ideas

Recommendation Preface 1: Do Material subtraction, spiritual addition - Chen Shu (actor)

>> I learn to appreciate things without possessing them, learn to share them with others rather than keep them to myself, learn to explore myself and the path of life, and not Afraid of other people’s strange looks.

>> Maintaining aesthetic quality is more important than not repeating a single product

>> Hawking once said: "The most touching thing in the world is distant similarity." This sentence perfectly explains my relationship with my teacher.

>> What we break away from are objects, but in fact, what we break away from is obsession.

Recommendation Preface 2: Breaking away from home helps us realize the beautiful imagination of home - Sun Zhiyong (co-founder of Zhibang Home Furnishing)

>> The wider your circle, the more It’s easy to live in other people’s lives; the more things you need, the easier it is to get lost in things

The meaning of separation is not just “throwing things away”

>> Cut off "cutting off" material desires, "getting rid of" waste and getting rid of the obsession of "living"

>> In fact, "cleaning up waste" is just a stepping stone to "cutting off, giving up and leaving".

>> Or negative thoughts or emotional mementos that put yourself in a state of self-denial and self-condemnation. Only by letting go of these things can we liberate ourselves and our lives.

>> Only then can we obtain bird's-eye view thinking—high viewpoint, wide field of view, and deep insight. This is the path to life in the true sense of "freedom and freedom". On this "road", there will definitely be a "comfortable" you. This book will also detail

>> "Disposal" is not just about dealing with waste and debris. It has the power to make life new.

>> Cutting off is not simply about dealing with clutter and throwing away waste, but about awakening the "circulating" breath of life in the growing river of life that is full of a sense of occlusion.

>> Breaking away from others is the aesthetics of "coming out".

>> Metabolism is the so-called "life mechanism". If you go in, you will go out. When you go out, you go in. Then, go out again. This simple mechanism of life hides a huge power: it can shape your life. Improve the "metabolism mechanism of life". Return to your true nature and take your life to the next level.

We live in an era where "things seep into our living space at will"

>> The values ??of the previous era - "What a pity" and "Can't waste!" are influenced by the values ??of the previous era. Therefore, This is a conceptual reason.

The underlying reason for "not cleaning up" is the stubborn "material axis" thinking

>> The underlying reason for "not cleaning up" is the stubborn "material axis" thinking

< p>>> A philosopher once said, "People are always used to thinking about 'validity', but they often ignore the 'necessity' that is the premise of 'validity'." People also have the same stereotyped thinking about objects. —“

We who are depressed due to excessive anxiety

>> What Dansheli emphasizes is this kind of internal consciousness of self-reflection, rather than the external banner of "righteous theory" admonishment. Because the real "correct answer" is already in your own heart.

>> Consciously remove the emotion of self-blame and listen calmly to the inner voice - "It turns out that it really can't be the same as before", "I want to change", etc. These voices will gradually transform into a kind of inner voice. The driving force allows us to carry out the practice consciously.

What Duan Sheli pays attention to is not the objects, but the space

>> What Duan Sheli pays attention to is not the objects, but the space

Emotions at home and outside the home The Pain of Contrast

>> A torrent of inertia rushed out of the wardrobe that was so full that it could hardly be closed. It was stuffed with piles of unworn clothes. People who are caught up in this torrent of inertia will naturally become infected with inertia, feel depressed, and lose their energy.

>> Throw away unnecessary clutter and create a comfortable living space, and it is possible to change your life." To others, you may appear bright, free and happy, but in your heart you may be deeply troubled. Living in an "unspeakable" garbage hoarding place is a way out for oneself.

There are three types of people who "cannot let go"

>> Escape from reality. People of this type usually have less time to stay at home because of their busy work, so they always put off cleaning up the housework. A messy home makes people feel bad, and they are even less willing to stay at home, leading to a vicious cycle. Cycle. People who are obsessed with the past always collect a lot of old things such as photo albums, letters, souvenirs, etc. They are unwilling to face reality and always dwell on the happy times in the past. People who are worried about the future are always worried. "There is nothing to worry about", and they are always saving supplies for future events that they don't know when they will happen. This is also the type with the largest number of people among the three types. These three types of people usually *** The point is that "the awareness of time is relatively weak"

The difference between "giving up" and "abandoning"

>> Compressing items to something that can establish and maintain a certain social relationship. Only in this way can we regain the healthy and beautiful space we once lost, and then we can cherish things and love life in the most authentic sense, instead of hoarding and throwing things away casually and carelessly. In fact, the latter is the latter. It's "what a pity".

People have the "freedom to gain" and the "freedom to let go"

>> The freedom to let go retains the freedom to choose.

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>> Basically, what I want can be satisfied, and what I want to deal with can be dealt with.

>> From that time on, I understood a truth: I can’t get what I want. , people will be sad. But it will be even more painful if you can't throw away the things you want to throw away.

>> In our homes, the piles of "unable to clean up" clutter are themselves the "material axis" way of thinking of human beings. The specific manifestation is also the manifestation of subconscious self-restraint such as "cannot discharge randomly" and "cannot be willful"

To abandon things is to throw things away

>> In the opposite direction. While we are getting rid of the clutter in our homes, we must also do the work of getting rid of it in our minds, that is, sorting out our thoughts and ideas. This can "improve our physical fitness" and change our problem of being unable to let go and always hoarding goods. .

>> Conceptual separation 1. Understand the current situation 2. Describe the specific ideas of the house. 1. Take out the debris and throw it away. Get rid of things that are "junk and waste" 3. Use yourself and time as the criteria for judgment, consider the "relevance" between yourself and the item, and then make choices based on "necessity, appropriateness, and pleasure" 5. ．Storage guide after optimizing clutter 1. “The 7·5·1 method” 3. “The one touch method” "Self-reliance, freedom, and self-reliance" means "disposal of objects" and "disposal of ideas" from two aspects: material and spiritual aspects. Only when the two are synchronized, the housework cleaning work goes smoothly, and the way of thinking is gradually updated, can a virtuous cycle be formed. Finally, when the number of items is reduced to the optimal amount, move to the "storage" operation.

>> When we decide to make a break, what should we do first? The answer is to open the lids of all storage containers such as wardrobes, closets, drawers, etc., so that all things that are usually invisible can be displayed in front of you.

>> The one at the bottom is in a state of unconsciousness or unconsciousness

>> Many highly educated women in the workplace are very easy to fall into the trap of perfectionism.

>> Only by getting rid of this self-punishing thinking tendency and no longer denying ourselves can we achieve a break from thinking and concepts.

>> The first thing that should be done is to clearly draw a blueprint of the residence - how I want to live here after tidying up. Simple style space - Nordic style home furnishings or log furniture. Ethnic style space - decorated with Southeast Asian style cloth or rattan furniture. Modern popular style space - functional furniture mainly for office

< p>>> Take out the debris and overlook it

>> Start with a small amount and small units within the planned time

>> Throw away "it's all garbage no matter how you look at it" ·Trash" things

>> Throw away things that are "junk and waste"

Use self and time as the criterion for judgment, and consider the "relevance between yourself and the items" ”, and then make a choice

Make a choice based on the criteria of “necessity, appropriateness, and pleasure”

The first layer of sieve is to screen out things that are “junk and waste products no matter how you look at it”.

It is easier to understand using food as an example to explain. You take out all the food in the refrigerator and put it on the table. If there is fresh food that has passed its expiration date or food that is still within the expiration date but looks unappetizing, you should dispose of it immediately.

>> Throw away things that are "junk and waste products no matter how you look at them". Use yourself and time as the basis of judgment, consider the "relevance" between yourself and the items, and then make a choice based on "necessity, appropriateness and pleasure" "Choose for Standards

>> The floor and table were filled with all kinds of clutter, starting with things that were damaged, stained, unusable, and things that had been left behind. Start getting rid of things that you will no longer need in the future.

>> Garbage and waste products are equivalent to "forgotten objects", things whose existence itself has been forgotten. The vast majority of "forgotten objects" are "insignificant" to me now

>> "Barledo's Law".

>> Breakthroughs in clutter Abandonment 3. Use yourself and time as the basis for judgment, consider the "relevance" between yourself and items, and then make choices

>> By choosing from these perspectives, you will understand your own heart and accept what you like. Master your own way of thinking that focuses on the "relevance" of objects and yourself. It clearly shows the changes in the correlation between yourself and objects over time. The horizontal axis in the figure on the next page is the "importance axis" and the vertical axis is "time." "axis", the origin where the two axes intersect, the former is "self" and the latter is "now". In other words, "things that are very important to you now" are at the origin. We unknowingly put the "importance" The "axis" was replaced by the "other axis" based on other people's values. The core of value became the "material axis" with "objects" as the theme. In daily life, we often don't indulge in the history of "things were useful". It means having expectations and uneasiness about the future, and often thinking that "things will be used in the future."

>> The relevance of the same item to oneself will change over time. There are also different degrees of correlation in judgments. This is the premise for the establishment of a network of relationships among all people, things, and things.

>> Items in the three dimensions of necessity, appropriateness, and pleasure will soon be available. Be locked in, and be able to get rid of the binary thinking of simply understanding people, things, and things as either right or wrong, good or evil, and gradually develop a sense of diversity and respect for others.

>> Summary. It is to use others as the standard of value and sacrifice a lot of yourself.

>> That "I'm so sorry" not only represents her determination to establish a new relationship with her mother-in-law, but also represents her desire to move toward her true self, as she always thinks about "matter" and "others". Apologize.

>> Make choices based on the criteria of "necessity, appropriateness, and pleasure"

>> It is very convenient to use unnecessary things. Although they are not broken, you don't have to worry about losing them. . Inappropriate things were important before, but they are not suitable for me now. Unpleasant things If you use them for a long time, you will have an inexplicable sense of disobedience and unpleasant emotions.

>> "Tidying up" is the operation of compressing and storing a huge amount of debris, "sorting and sorting" + "cleaning", collectively called "cleaning"

When you feel powerless , first find the "exit"

>> The separation divides our life into three parts - physical life, social life, and spiritual life. The three are indispensable for our survival. Physical life is the life of man as a living creature. Social life is the desire to belong and be recognized. Spiritual life is the desire for wisdom, beauty, and communication.

Clear the sense of blockage and clear the path of life

>> Many people have changed their hesitancy, dare not face problems, and always want to escape because they have given up and faced reality. , started a new life.

>> Whether it is divorce or resignation, they are decisions made after carefully sorting out one's emotions and facing one's true feelings calmly. Only in this way can real life begin.

>> Realizing that my distress and anxiety all stem from a lack of self-affirmation, I let go of the obsessions that once tortured me and ushered in a new state of mind and life.

Guide yourself now to make the most appropriate choices and decisions

>> Feel the original power of "space".

>> By transforming the way of thinking from the object axis to the space axis and mastering the overlooking way of thinking, we will become "life masters": life masters who have nothing to do with status, reputation, education, or financial resources. The road is to understand yourself, like your own thinking, feeling, and perception to become sharp, light, and insightful, and to gain "the leisurely contentment of life"

The return of the "body, mind, and life" mechanism

< p>>> "The part is the whole, and the whole is the part" is a Japanese view of the body.

>> "One look at the residence reveals the inner and interpersonal conditions of the people who live here. “One look at the wallet tells you the status of the person’s residence. ”

>> The core idea of ????Duan Sheli is “metabolism”. It is ideal for our living space to be in a state of metabolism (exchange). Therefore, we must constantly “use all things and eliminate useless things” Only the circulation of "things" can fill the residence with a sense of flow and vitality.

Communication ability is significantly improved

>> The "between" in interpersonal relationships can be understood from the "between space = distance" "Understood from the perspective of "time = frequency", it can also be understood as the "density" of space and time. Problems will arise in interpersonal relationships whether the distance between the two parties is too close or too far, or the frequency of contact is too high or too low.

>> If the distance is too close, you will feel irritable; if it is too far, you will feel lonely; if the contact frequency is too high, it will cause trouble to others; if it is too low, you will feel abandoned.

< p>>> The closer the relationship, the more conscious it is for both parties to maintain the appropriate density of time and space. Whether it is better to be closer or farther away, everyone has their own "density" to grasp, and this is better. This "degree" will also change. Now she still maintains an appropriate distance and frequency of meetings with her parents.

>> She uses visible objects to overlook the whole space and restore the "feelings" of her residence. "Space" function.

>> Have you crammed too many things into the space so that you lack "room"? Try reducing the amount of clutter and freeing up "room". What will be the effect? ??Filter things and allocate "room" to them. How will you feel after "interval"?

>> The art of amusing requires sharp thinking and clear thinking.

The reason why it particularly requires the ability to conceive and improvise by being able to pick up examples at your fingertips is that while sorting out memories, there is "enlightenment" and "inspiration" dwelling in the "space" or "blank space".

>> The "time" of time, the "time" of words, and the "time" of communication allow people to establish an appropriate "time" for interpersonal relationships at that time and place.

Acquire a subjective lifestyle

>> German poet Goethe's famous saying: "The greatest sin of man is unhappiness."

Those who put aside family relationships Troubles

>> When you have expectations for others or want to blame others, you must immediately realize that "you must do well first!" and take action proactively. In the process of continuous experience and accumulation of experience, we gradually master how to maintain an appropriate distance from others and learn to put aside the troubles of interpersonal relationships.

Adhere to the three major principles and gain a happy life

>> Live in the present and the results will be fed back to yourself

>> Keeping only the items you like is actually improvement. The quality of time and effort spent.

>> The biggest psychological change is the ability to face oneself and others with "calmness and sincerity". This is something easier said than done.

>> What exactly is "opportunity"? This word brings to mind a word - spit and peck at the same machine. When the chick is about to hatch, the sound of sucking the egg shell with its mouth is called "spit". When the hen wants to hatch the chick, eating the shell is called "pecking". Only when the "spit" and "pecking" are synchronized, the chick can break out of the shell.

>> Derived from the original meaning, "spit" refers to the disciple who wants to enlighten the Tao, and the master teaches him everything and guides him to achieve enlightenment.

>> This kind of coincidence is also called "Ji·Du·Jian". Opportunity, chance degree, intensity interval, rhythm

>> What you need is not a score card, but a product.

Cut away from each other and let life be at ease everywhere

>> You will find that your body is no longer as tight as before, becomes comfortable and relaxed, and you always smile. Full of brows.

>> There is such a sentence in "In vain". There are three kinds of good friends: one is a person who is kind and charitable; the other is a person who heals the sick and heals the wounded; the third is a person who has wisdom and spirituality.

>> The more troublesome people find housework to be, the more they should try "compressing clutter = saving time and energy". This is the best and most convenient way to achieve the state of "enjoying housework = achieving a free life".

Restore "breathing space" and gain a free life

>> The essence of renunciation is in the breathing method advocated by yoga.

Cherish the current people, things and things with your heart

>> Everyone will lose their most precious things one day. Almost no one can let go at the most critical moment. Only by constantly practicing how to let go in daily life can we calmly accept troubles, even aging, illness and death. These words are the interpretation of renunciation by an expert who is proficient in Buddhism. "In the final analysis, renunciation is training for us to accept the death of ourselves and those we cherish."

>> There are also opposite values. Coming out, letting go, letting go, picking up, possessing

Continuously pursue the aesthetics of "coming out"

>> Although the "law of entropy increase (matter moves from order to disorder)" does not It does not refer to the rules of human behavior, but the unwillingness to give up, the desire to gain, and the desire to increase are based on human instinct.

Comments

It has some inspiration for women’s mentality and attitude towards life