If you have been to mountainous areas, you will find that there are gullies and gullies formed by water scouring on some hillsides. Let's think about it, why does the ditch just appear in this position? Either one meter to the left or one meter to the right? It may be because the soil in this position is soft. More likely, because the first few streams of water flow through this position very accidentally, leaving some small traces. Since then, more water has been rushing down, gradually deepening this mark until a deep ditch is formed. These ditches seem to solidify the way we adults think. The key to its formation is that the first few streams of water, like our childhood experiences, generally locked the direction of our lives.
Let's imagine another scene. On the soft beach, we roll forward with the shot put, which will leave a shallow mark on the beach. We are standing in the same position. If we throw a shot put forward, it will also make a mark. It is worth noting that some old and new traces will overlap. We keep throwing the shot put, and the old and new marks will keep overlapping. Repeated hundreds of times will eventually form a deep ditch in the sand. No matter how you roll the shot in the future, the shot will definitely follow this slot. It's like our adult thinking has solidified, and the key to its formation is the trace of the first shot put.
Cognitive psychology has a concept called core belief, which is a highly generalized evaluation of the world, others and ourselves formed in our childhood. If childhood is suppressed, laughed at, abandoned and abused for a long time, these shadows will take root in our minds and form some very stable and negative core beliefs. For example: I am incompetent, I am unpopular, others are unreliable, and the world is dangerous. Because of these negative core beliefs, people have all kinds of psychological problems. For example, some people have extremely low self-esteem, some people are biased, some people are harsh on themselves, and some people lack social skills.
The core beliefs in the shadow of childhood are hard to change, but they are not completely unchanged. On the one hand, through continuous learning and growth, you can know more people and experience more things, so that some of your solidified thinking can be loosened. On the other hand, we can seek the help of psychological counselors in order to grow up faster and better and avoid detours.
As long as you dare to change and grow up actively, it is not a myth to get out of the shadow of childhood.
1000 days in the early life affects children for 30 years, including parents' living habits and physical condition, as well as their emotional state.
When children are young, they live in an unharmonious and loveless family, or suffer corporal punishment from their parents and teachers, so they feel insecure and will live in fear and spend their whole lives looking for the missing love.
People pursue what they lacked when they were young.
I tell you from my personal experience that the psychological shadow of my childhood will really accompany me all my life. This is the video I answered. I hope I can help you.
Yes, all childhood experiences also affect the formation of a person's personality, but psychological shadows may accompany us. For example, when I was a child, I made a mistake at school and was criticized in front of the whole school. I had a strong self-esteem and suddenly collapsed. I ran back to the grove behind the house and sobbed alone. I still remember it deeply until now, and then my personality became very introverted. Because my single-parent family lacks maternal love, my father is too busy to take care of his work. So I was rebellious in adolescence, and I quarreled with my father countless times, and depression followed. My family is poor, I don't have enough to eat at school, and I can't dress well. I once wanted to drop out of school and commit suicide, but I persisted. Now I am in my twenties, and my only father left me because of liver cancer. I once rebelled, and finally the prodigal son came back and understood his father's difficulties, but it was too late, but it might be the only shortcut for me to be mature and sensible, but the price was too high.
This is related to memory. As you get older, your memory will decline, and your past unhappiness will be forgotten.
Of course, once you have a psychological shadow, you can never erase it.
Yes! Why not! If you don't feel like it, then they will continue to prompt! Am I right?
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Yes,
The new house built in junior high school is behind the village. Then there is a big pond by the road. When I was a child, I often went fishing. Once I saw the water churning like a big fish, and a big fish came back to the surface. Later, my family moved behind the pond. When I came home from school at night in junior high school, suddenly a cow came out of the pond and ran after me. I knelt in front of me. I was scared to death. At that time, this pond left a psychological shadow on me. As long as I dream of going home, I will dream of all kinds of obstacles in the pond. Either there is a monster or there is a flood, or I can't go home. I was depressed when I dreamed of the pond.
When I was a child, my family was in a bad condition, but I always went out for a walk with my parents. Because I am small, I always want something, but not too much, just a lollipop or ice cream, but I am beaten by my mother and dragged home every time. Later, when I became sensible, I began to learn to be smart. When my elders ask me what I want, they always say no. Now my parents have opened several supermarkets with good conditions. When I asked what I wanted to eat and what I wanted, I was at a loss because I had no desire.
I remember once when I was a child, I helped wash the tea tray because my hands were too small. I slipped while washing, and the tea tray split in two, which scared me. I am cautious and passive. I went to my mother, who asked me why I looked pale. I told my mother that I had broken the tea tray. Mom said that if it is broken, it will be broken. Why is your face blue? I was relieved then, but I was thinking that my mother might be in a particularly good mood today.
I think my dad always keeps a straight face and says nothing when he is unhappy. The air around him is very cold. When he grew up, he knew there was a word called cold violence. When they are unhappy, the whole family is quiet. We dare not speak loudly or do anything. They are in a good mood and the atmosphere at home is better. I am often influenced by them at home, and I don't talk when I am in a bad mood. You can stay alone in the house without eating or drinking, staring blankly or sleeping. I always thought I wouldn't get married in the future, I didn't want to be so tired in the future, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to give my children a healthy environment, and I didn't want my children to be unhappy, but I don't know.
I remember when I was a child, many children in the city rode bicycles to the countryside to play. It happens that my home is on the side of the road, and they want to put their bikes in my home. At that time, there was a big German shepherd at home. They got scared and threw the cake to the dog. Then they left, and my mother picked them up and gave them to me. It's made of eggs. When I was a child, my family was poor and I never had snacks. I don't like that thing at all now. I don't even like the layer inside the birthday cake, not at all.
In primary school, I was the conductor of the drum team. After only two days of practice, I went to rehearsal. I don't have a good rhythm. Actually, the drum is out of order. My music teacher scolded me to death. She called several teachers to scold me in front of the whole school. Usually she always takes it out on me and wants me to do everything. I thought her personality was like that before, but now I know she is mean.